greyXmatter

OH. MY. GOD. I have to tell you all this. I went to a new therapist today,
her name was like... wait... I have her card somewheres. ROBERTA FALLIG.
First of all, who names their kid Roberta? Second, who would stay alive
with such a name? Anyways, I walked into her office and sat down, and
she sat down in front of me in this leather chair thingy. She stared at
me. and stared. and stared. Finally, after litterally like five minutes
of her fucking STARING at me, she goes, in the quietest, just barely above
a whisper voice: "Tell me about yourself." ...I was like... dot. dot. dot.
...What kind of statement is that? What do you want, my fucking autobiorgraphy?
Be more specific, you cuntrag. I was like "That's kind of a vague question...
care to clarify it?" And I gave her the BITCHIEST look. So without giving
me an answer, she STARED at me again, and inhaled really, deep. I was thinking
"What the fuck, this is what they call therapy? Fucking aye." She asked
me if I had any siblings, I told her. She asked me if my parents were
together, and I said no, and she responded with "Okay." and continued
to fucking STARE at me. DEAD SILENCE! I was like "What IS this?!" So after
a half hour of sitting there in dead silence, she said "Well, our time
is just about up, so here's my card." She got up and handed it to me, and
then went and sat back down. She stared at me for another 5 minutes, and
then goes "Are you planning on killing yourself?" I was like "WTF?" and
I gave her the bitchiest look, and I go "Um. No?" and she goes: "Alright.
I'll walk you to the door." ... AND THAT WAS IT! I was like "FUCKING
FUCK, I'M NEVER GOING BACK THERE FUCKIN' EVER." and my mom was like "WELL
YOU HAVE NO CHOICE!" ...God. I remember like... 5 times throughout this
so-called "Therapy session" I had to do Slater's 1-2-3-4 thing cause I
was so close to cracking up at how humiliatingly DUMB this thing was.

My mom then bought me a Snapple and I was happy.
What do the critics say about the new pics?

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