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greyXmatter
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2005 29 January :: 9.43am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: [Van Halen] - [Jump]
I don't know why I put I was listening to Jump because I really am listening to Dance the Night Away, but whatever. Strange.
I want to see people this weekend so bad.
Besides the... :cringe:... Snowball tonight... I won't see anyone besides Sara I don't think. I hope it's warm out. If it is, I'm going to ride all my horses like mad. I'll be out there riding until probably 2 in the afternoon if it's warm enough. I haven't been able to have a decent ride in so long cause of the weather.
Um...
I hung up on Brandon last night! =o!
Accidental though... my phone's a piece of shit and if I talk to anyone over an hour the battery dies. I LOVE TALKING TO THAT KID ON THE PHONE OMG HE'S SO FUNNY! Holy shit I can't stop laughing.
My christmas ornaments are underway bitches!
Okay well, I just woke up, I gotta get some jeans on and head out to the barn and start working and riding. [Hopefully...]
Brandon if you see this, call me if you're bored because... PSHKAYTHX.
and Josh.. lmao... You can call me anytime because... I know what's goin' down over there. So sorry. Love you and miss you.
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greyXmatter
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2005 28 January :: 9.37pm
:: Mood: aggravated
Robert my love...
Rob you're a fucking ass hole. You are a fucking ASS hole. I can't fucking believe you're sitting here saying this shit to my best friend. You may have a grudge against him, but fucking cursing him out on his Xanga makes you look like more of a dumbass than you are and it's defnately not worth it in the least. You're a fucking inconsiderate dirtbag. Just because you have things against people doesn't mean you have to be a fucking asswipe and try to make yourself look cool. No one fucking cares. I dunno if you know it, but you posted the same thing, just worded differently, three fucking times. Don't you look smart? I want to fucking kick your ass. Wouldn't that be funny? I'm a girl man. It would look a little fucked up. But you, me, Josh... we all know I could fucking kick your ass. But I wouldn't do that. I'm too fucking nice. =] You need to get your fuckin' priorities straight, kid. Do that, THEN come back and try to fuck with Josh. Bringing Josh's family and personal life into something that it has NOTHING to do with is just fucked up and uncalled for. You are fucking rude Robert. I never, EVER expected anything like this out of you... ever. That's why I liked you and thought you were so nice to be around. Because you were so accepting and so nice. Now it's fucking turning around because you're starting to realize that you're fuckin' losing friends because you're a douchebag. So you start to do stupid shit like this to get you noticed and liked. Guess what babe? It's not fucking working. Go buy yourself a life and apologize later. ...Whatever, Don't apologize. You're too fucking cool for that.
Fuck off, no one likes you.
-Yours Truly
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greyXmatter
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2005 28 January :: 8.09pm
:: Mood: dirty
:: Music: [Senses Fail] - [Angela Baker and My Obsession With Fire]
I feel so bad for Josh.
Staying at Rob's house for a week.
Oh holy mary.
LMAO!
Later.
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greyXmatter
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2005 28 January :: 3.46pm
:: Mood: blah
Things are always better after we talk.
=]
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greyXmatter
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2005 28 January :: 3.24pm
:: Mood: grumpy
:: Music: [Atreyu] - [Right Side of the Bed]
I fucking hate school.
I know I mention that all the time.
I hate how I can never be my normal self in school. I don't even know what it is that's keeping me. I just... can't... do it. I'm so fucking shy and so fucking quiet and it pisses me off. Weird things happen in school that would never happen out of school. Josh was so mad at me today because I was "flirting with Brandon", when all I really did was say "hey" to him and push him kinda after he did. Things are so confusing. I want to move in with Josh and never come back here. I want to live with Josh foreverrr and never worry about anything. Whenever I'm around him I don't worry, and I love feeling that. I hate self-centered and closed-minded people. Partially why I hate school. Today was probably the worst day of the entire week, and it was just my mind that made it that way. Ugh, I hate the way I think. I miss Josh and I want to see him. I don't want to go to this dance. I don't want to see anyone this weekend except for maybe Josh and I'd die to hang out with Sara and Brandon this weekend. Sara's coming over tomorrow. This weekend is going to go by so rediculously fast, I don't even want to start it. It's going to be worth nothing. I hate using the word depressed because no one knows what it really means. I'm so depressed this week. So fucking upset and so quiet. If I could be doing anything right now, I'd be sleeping under the covers with Josh for hours while he holds me forever. I need something better than this. Shit better get easier...
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