The names Brielle, bitch

The names Brielle, bitch

:: 2005 27 January :: 10.29pm
:: Mood: contemplative

It's amazing how much I relate to Lady in a Blue Dress. I like... am that song. When I read it, it looks like I'm talking to myself. Seriously. How strange. It's kinda like... Dear Casey:
you're just like a lady in a blue dress. you've got cigarettes on your breath, hair spray and some cheap perfume. i'll put a little sour in your sweet, you've got so much fucking tongue in cheek. you want what you could never have. you say that you want respect, well then you better get some for yourself, cause all that I see right now, is someone who's lost and insecure. you say that I am rated X,
you suffer from the lack of sex. black heart and your lipstick smeared. your points are trite and I'm too sober to deal with you running over your same pathetic cliche lines. don't try to be cute with me, cause I know you hate yourself, and you'd end your stupid life now, but you're too spineless. Love, Casey.

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greyXmatter

:: 2005 27 January :: 10.03pm
:: Mood: crappy

Yeah, I jumped out of the shower and I was notified that my stepdad had to take my mom back to the hospital because she was going into cardiac arrest again. What... the fuck. I fucking hate this. I don't want to be home with her, especially by myself, if I have to be worried about her having a heart attack when I'm alone at home. I'm so fucking scared. I knew something was going to happen. Why the fuck did she leave? She couldn't wait another 3 or 4 days until she was completely stable, could she? No. She has to fuck herself over and come home early. I hate this. I fucking hate this. Anyone but her.

I don't really have much else to say. I was GOING to say I'm proud of myself because I ran 3 miles in socks on the treadmill. Now I'm paying the price with very... very sore feet, but whatever. I still ran and I made up for yesterdays crap 1 mile because I wasn't in the mood yesterday. Caught up. Shit is good. Cleaned my room, then proceeded to make it messy again when Brandon called me and gave me the idea to make christmas ornaments with construction paper. (Okay, Brandon shut up. You DID give me the idea. You were talking about poop, and the paper was the same color as poop. So I was like ... "POOPY CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS! YES BRANDON! YES!")

Anyways.

I sat with Rob on the bus today. It was nice. I haven't talked to him let alone sat with him in so long. He's a funny kid.

Fucking hell.
Tonight sucks.
Tomorrow will be worse.

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greyXmatter

:: 2005 27 January :: 3.58pm
:: Mood: okay

Today was "good". I don't really know how else to describe it. I felt good and I looked okay, so I was talkative and fun. Of course, that means tomorrow is going to SUCK with a capital S because I can never have two of these kinda days in a row. It never happens. I saw b b b brannndonnn in the hall today and I was like... NAFGLKNGLDSKGNSLK! HEY! and like... wow. That was awesome.

My mom just got home! She has asked me 3 times so far if I'm okay. I don't know why. She's all.. "are you sure you're alright? you seem quiet." ... I have nothing to say to her, I don't know. I feel strange with her around because she's so fragile now. Hm.

Someone call me, I wanna hang out tonight. OMG TOMORROW. TOMORROW WE WILL HANG OUT SO MAKE SURE YOU DO KAYTHXBYE.