The names Brielle, bitch

The names Brielle, bitch

:: 2005 10 January :: 7.23pm
:: Mood: exanimate
:: Music: [Foo Fighters]

I love... how... now that Letterkills have released their new single... everyone's like... "OmFgZZ L3TT3rKIllZ R@WKZ!!!11!" Same thing happened with Hawthorne Heights and Story of the Year. It's sad, really. I mean, don't get me wrong, they all have some decent qualities and I'm happy for their success, it's just kind of sad how they are being engulfed at speeds faster than light. What's even worse is, they know they're being sold into this whole scene, but the money's good. We know it, and they know it. It's a shame that people don't realize how lucky they are... to be out there screaming to thousands of people on a stage. They say they are... but no. I don't hear them thanking God for every dollar they put into their pockets. :sigh:: Oh well. I know I rant about this every now and then, but it kind of... sort of... bothers me.

I have the most evil headache right now. It started second period and its still sticking around. My nose is so rediculously stuffy. I can't breathe out of it. Welcome to the world of poor Brielle. Brielle, anything I've ever said to you about breathing, forgive me. I realize now, it's fucking murder. Ha... My throat is kinda... ow. My eyes are crying. I think people are avoiding me today, just in general. I called 358754 people and it's all ... "The subscriber you have called is not available at this time. Please try your call again later." So I cry. Then sleep. I slept more in the past 24 hours than some people sleep in a week. Like... 20 Hours. Kind of nice.

I need to get laid like now,kaythnx.

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greyXmatter

:: 2005 10 January :: 4.54pm
:: Mood: aggravated

The little sister I adopted in India almost 6 years ago is like... not allowed to benifit from my family anymore or some bullshit because they now have :gasp:... CLEAN water! Big deal. She still doesn't have a house to live in, or a toilet to shit in. Now, because I can't send her money anymore, that means she's not in the program. Since she's not in the program, I can't ever write or hear from her again. Hi folks, welcome to America.

I left school this morning.
I was dying.
I couldn't stay there any longer, although I was only there for what... 2 periods? 1 and a half. My head was killing me and I was so fucking tired so I was like... "hey... see ya." I came home and slept for 6 hours and now here I am. Ow, fuck. I can't look at the screen any longer.

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greyXmatter

:: 2005 9 January :: 10.07pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: [KKEKEKEEKKMMMM]

This entire weekend has been a blur. Totally and completely... whatever. I'm so apathetic and blah and just... blah. I miss Mr. Belverio and yeah. He's all emo and crying in my ear and making me all sad. ...HA!

Anyways.

I had a really... really... long... jumping lesson. On a horse that I really didn't like. We couldn't trailer Bliss over because of the mud, so whatever. The lesson sucked. It was cold. and blah.

I'm not in the mood for this here sheezah.

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greyXmatter

:: 2005 8 January :: 7.01pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: [Toby Keith] - [I wish I didn't know now]

I wish... I knew... what I wanted. It's kind of sad that I can't even sit down and tell myself what I want because... I don't know. I can't even think about it, and when I try, I just confuse myself because it all makes as much sense as a 90 year old marathon runner. I need to like... really... honestly think about what's going on. I know what I want and I know how to get it, but everything inside of me is like... wow. I can't even put one foot in front of the other today. I can't... tell him. It's stupid how the only person I can't get myself to talk about it with is him. When I can even tell the person that I have feelings for all about it. It's so stupid, and it goes to show how much you really should trust me. I'm fucking guilty and I hate it. I hate how there's no reason, too. There's no reason for me to feel how I do, so I can't explain myself to him, which will make him that much more angry. I know that no matter what I do or say, he'll be so angry, and I can't change any of that. That's why I'm so apathetic in telling him. I don't know how to. I really... don't. It's been a long time, and tonight it just may bring it out of me again. I hate what I do to myself and him, and I hate how... none of this... is working. None of it is working guys. One word to sum up this entire entry: Fuck.