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greyXmatter
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2005 31 May :: 3.00am
:: Mood: amused
Definately my favorite person to talk to on the phone. Of everyone. Anyone. Hahahah, he's so flippin' great. And the silences aren't even awkward silences like they are with everyone else. They're like... "wow." silences. I don't know, they make me smile. Like after he says something funny... we laugh... then it's silent for like.. 2 seconds. Then one of us breaks in with a "wow..." or something like that. HAHAHA! I can't get enough. Too cool. Too funny.
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greyXmatter
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2005 27 May :: 7.02am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Coheed & Cambria - Delerium Trigger [Second Stage Turbine Blade]
Oh girrrrrrl, life's so CRAZY!
Lets start with today and work our way backwards since I'm a dyslexic bitch. I saw Dan today working at the A&P, and he punched me in the arm, but I was in the middle of a conversation, so I didn't get him back... but when I was leaving, I saw him PUSHING THE CARTS IN LIKE THE TART THAT HE IS... so I ran over to him and punched him "like a girl" as he said, and was satisfied. Ah, I love that kid, he's so awesome. =]
I didn't do much of anything today... Hable por la computadora con Kirk y Jason... I talked on the computer with jason and kirk and... just kinda... sat around, then realized that... I was uber late for spanish class. I put bright red... like... crayon red streaks in my hair cause I was bored... They look funky. and... they're permanent so double you tee eff. uhh... I don't have any batteries in my camera... so ... I Can't show you. I wish I could, though.
On a side note... I think I should re-start my medication... take them all out of my underwear drawer where I've been hiding them and start... but instead of one daily, I'm going to take two, just because all they're giving me is 10mg, which is essentially nothing... 20mg is the next step up... I'll just go for it and shoot for that, maybe that will make a difference... I don't know... I just noticed that I've been losing energy and interest in stuff lately, so I want to see if dropping my meds had anything to do with it... probably...
I really wanted to go see Circa Survive on July 12th, but I don't think that's going to happen cause my mom doesnt want to drive all the way to Poughskepie NY. ...sadness. By the way, the link's there... go check them out, thanks.
I have a really strong emptiness now that I've left Keith's... The guys (and girls) treated me like the friends I've never had... they were so fucking funny and so nice and... yeah... they were just really cool. Now I miss them. and Keith. oh well. I'll see Keith soon though.. =]
Nowwwww... I think I'm going to try to give Kirk a call because I owe it to him since I haven't talked to him on the phone in...... ever? hahaha, even though I leave him really nice messages. :grin:
Anyways... holla at yer girl.
..or not.
Later.
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greyXmatter
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2005 23 May :: 6.57pm
:: Mood: blah
Out there, life is normal. In here, I'm hiding for my life. If things weren't like this, my life would be like hers. ...I'm beset with envy. Why am I this way? Why can't I be like her? Being here is just creating an even more dangerous situation for everyone... that's why everyone wants me to leave. I feel like everyone truly dislikes me. Nobody at all cares if I survive this. No one but me. I want to live.
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greyXmatter
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2005 18 May :: 10.38pm
:: Mood: aggravated
Note, Bitches: I changed the journal's password. I hope the point has been sufficiently ground in, that my private entries are my private area and it is not to be dragged into the world. ...But feel free to email or IM me with whatever criticism you like, and I will cheerfully tell you where and how far up to stuff it.
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greyXmatter
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2005 18 May :: 10.21pm
DESCRIBE YOUR:
[Wallet]: I now have a purse. I never had anything, but I gave in and finally got a purse. It's black. and ... just... cute.
[Hairbrush]: i don't own one.
[Cologne/Perfume]: Body sprays, fool.
[CD in stereo right now]: Co&Ca - Second Stage Turbine Blade, Senses Fail - From The Depths of Dreams, Circa Survive - Juturna
[Piercing(s)]: 13.. ears.
[What you are wearing now]: long sleeve Thor shirt.. it's... brown... with... white and yellow writing... and... capris.. just.. cut-offs, really... uhm... slippers.
[Hair]: its... in a high messy bun thing... and... hair's everywhere.
[In my head]: Circa Survive's song.. Act Apalled.
[Wishing]: KIRK WAS OVER.
[After this]: sleep. totally.
[Talking to]: Kirk, Brian, Katie, Laura
[Eating]: my ... cheek?
[The last thing you ate?]: a twizzler.
[Something that you are deathly afraid of?]: failure, mostly.
[Do you like candles]: no, they scare me.
[Do you like incense]: no, they scare me even more.
[Do you believe in love]: Yes.
[Do you believe in soul mates]: Yes.
[Do you believe in love at first sight]: semi.
[Do you believe in forgiveness]: Yes, otherwise I'd be a hypocrite. I don't know how many times I've been forgiven, and how many time's I have forgiven someone.
[What are 3 places you wouldn't mind relocating to?]: Colorado, Arizona... Colorado, haha.
[What's something you wish you could understand better?]: Myself.
[Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time?]: Meeshmoo.
In the last 24 hours, have you:
01. Cried: uhm... come to think of it, yes.
02. Bought something: yes.
03. Gotten sick: i've been sick for the past 3 weeks.
04. Sang: Yes, Natalie Imbrugla.
Social Life:
01. Best girl friend(s): Laura, Sara, Brielle
02. Best guy friend(s): Josh, Dan, Ricky, Jimmy, Brandon
03. Current dating partner: negative, wishful thinking.
04. Hobbies: you all know.
05. Pager/Cell: 908 797 2825
06. Are you center of attention or the wallflower?: I try to be the fucking wallflower but then my mind does something stupid and everyone pays attention.
07. What type automobile do you drive?: 96 Ram 3500... navy blue. ...but I just borrow it. It's my stepdads. I'm looking at others.
08. Would you rather be with friends or on a date?: be with friends.
09. Where is the best hangout?: at the rodeo or just... anywhere.
10. Do you have a job?: yes.
11. Do you attend church?: yes.
12. Do you like being around people?: not normally.
Friends/Peers:
Who:
01. Have you known the longest: Sara
02. Do you argue the most with: Josh
03. Do you always get along with: Laura
04. Is the trust worthiest: Ricky
05. Makes you laugh the most: Ricky
06. Has been there through all the hard times: Josh... I love you babes.
07. Has the coolest parents: RACHEL! I LOVE HER MOM!
08. Has the coolest siblings: RACHEL!
09. Is the most blunt: Definately Rach.
10. Is the smartest: Ricky
Personal:
01. Who is your role model: Mike Lee, Adriano Moraes
02. What are some of your pet peeves: hypocrites, cowards, blatantly dumb girls, feminine girly girls, touchy feelyness, blinking a lot
11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: yeah... that was the worst time in my life.
do your parents like your friends?: yeah, love em.
do your friends like your parents?: mostly.
who have you known the longest of your friends?: Sara.
have the best time with?: Josh, Rachel
who's the loudest?: JESUS GOD, SARA!
who's the shyest?: none of them are shy.
funniest?: josh, ricky.
craziest?: Josh, sara, me
smartest?: Joshua, Richard
sweetest?: Josh, ricky
tallest?: Ricky... how sad is that? 5' 10"...
shortest?: SARA.
who do you go to for advice?: Always Ricky. Always. Love you sweetheart.
who do you cry with?: myself...?
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