The names Brielle, bitch

The names Brielle, bitch

:: 2005 10 April :: 10.22am
:: Mood: crappy

I don't think theres a single person out there who could ever feel... or could ever understand how I feel about Josh. I think no matter how much his sluts at school say "Oh Josh I love you so much baby!" they could never mean it as much as I ever have. She's a 14 year old chick who doesn't even know what love means. Love isn't being with someone for a year, breaking up, and the next day fucking someone else. I'm not ashamed to say that I am in fact jealous, but I don't think jealous is the exact word. I think it's frustrated... and ... just... I wish he could see things from my perspective. I wish he could feel what I'm feeling and know how bad he's dragging me down. He's killing me, I swear to fucking God he's killing me. Wether he knows it or not. He wonders why I'm so afraid to even kiss him. No one knows why... no one can explain it except myself. I'm afraid to kiss him because I feel like her. I feel like Shaylin. I feel like I'm just someone that he can fuck around with, no matter how much he says hes in love with me. Respect her? He can say he does all he wants, but I know he has no respect for her. I know she's just another girl to kiss. And have fun with. I'm sorry, but my view on this was totally not what he was seeing I guess. Him and I were on two different levels, and his is never going to back down. I've tried so fucking hard to show him how much I love him... I just don't understand it. If he knows that I am in love with him, and he says he's in love with me, (which I now know is a bunch of fucking bullshit), then why would he go and kiss other people? Romantically? Why the fuck do guys have to be like that? Why the fuck can't they just realize that I have fucking feelings and that yes, I am going to fucking care, and fucking bleed, and fucking cry, and fucking hate the fact that you LIE to me? He'll never change. He was meant to be with lots of people. He was never meant to be in a relationship. I just wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.

Fuck.....................

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greyXmatter

:: 2005 10 April :: 10.13am
:: Mood: crushed

you can't jump the track... we're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass glued to the table. no one can find the rewind button girl, so just... cradle your head in your hands... and breathe.

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greyXmatter

:: 2005 7 April :: 9.22pm
:: Mood: blah

Well you're a real hot cookie with a new hairdo, your high heel boots, and your credit card, long legs and a mini skirt, yeah... you know what works, and you work it hard. You smile like such a lady... innocent and sweet. You drive the men folk crazy, but any girl can see you're just a homewrecker. I know what you're doing. You think you're gonna ruin what I got, But you're not. Yeah, you little go getter... I'll teach you a lesson if you get to messin with my man... You don't stand a chance. No, you're just a homewrecker. I'm sure you waited for a long, long time to find a man like mine, but honey you're too late. So before you go and make your move, maybe me and you should get a few things straight. There's two ways we can do this. I'll let you decide. You can take it somewhere else, or we can take it outside, you little homewrecker. Now honey, I'm a Christian, but if you keep it up, I'm gonna go to kickin' your pretty little butt. Is that clear enough?