:: 2012 16 September :: 12.15 am

Still can't believe I'm pregnant. Again....

respond

:: 2012 11 July :: 12.48 am

I wish....

I wasn't me
I didn't look like me especially.

Just want to feel pretty and sexy once in my life.

5 Please | respond

:: 2012 19 May :: 11.21 pm

I'm cheating on you!

2 Please | respond

:: 2012 21 April :: 5.48 pm

2nd time away from home
Well, the baby is with Grandma and Grandpa O. She is probably having a blast.. but I'm kinda sad.. and lonely. hahaha. figures.

respond

:: 2012 15 January :: 10.53 pm

Two things,
I'm apparently not who I wanted to be or though I was
And two
I wanna ride tanner.
And ride with him.

1 Please | respond

:: 2012 6 January :: 11.04 pm

Woke up early with the girls but at least callie was happy! Autumn went directly downstairs and stayed down.mainly because I had to start diapers. Callie and I came back up to make breakfast. We had scrambled eggs and toast. After callie finished I let her get down while I finished my grocery list for next week. Mean while I hear what sounds like glass and then tin foil rustling. Upon further investigation I see that she has gotten into the candy jar (glass with metal top) and stolen a christmas peanut butter cup, fully un wrapped it including the paper (rustling tin foil). I figured if she did all the work she might as well get to eat it. So I took pictures instead! After that she brought me yogurt melts because apparently 1.5 eggs and a piece if toast was not enough.
Finally autumn realized she was hungry and came upstairs. I was on the phone with grandma and after that I gave autumn cereal and started the bath. We then went up and woke daddy up. We came down for a snack. And then played around for a little while. We had lunch and then went for a walk. We came back and callie fell asleep on the changing table. Autumn went downstairs to watch phineas and ferb while I called around for my lab order. Daddy and callie woke up at around 245. We had fruit snacks. Then Daddy and autumn went to the lab for me and were back by 330. We play on the floor and played in the living room for a while. Then we all got hungry so we put in pizza. We eat and then have cookies for dessert. We cuddle on the couch and watch kung fu panda! Hanging out on the living room floor and then go to bed. Great night.

respond

:: 2011 14 November :: 10.03 pm

I forgot to write yesterday. Jared was home and we stayed up and played gears 3, and then I was exhausted and fell asleep.

We didn't do much yesterday. I went to Meijer with Autumn. First time in a while that I've been to the store (2nd time to meijer since august). I need to go to fields fabrics to get some material for a tag blanket and a matching baby blanket for a gift. I don't remember what else we did.. Oh, we had culver's for lunch and Autumn went with Jared to go and get it. That's about it. Callie's been sleeping like crap lately. waking and crying often. It's tiring. I hope she gets over it soon. I think I'm going to have to start waking up at 8 am all the time. Because callie wakes up at 8 am on the dot every morning. No matter what. Oh well. I guess I'll have to make myself be a morning person.

respond

:: 2011 14 November :: 9.39 pm

Baby why you wanna cry?
You really oughta know that I
Just have to walk away sometimes

We're gonna do what lovers do
We're gonna have a fight or two
But I ain't ever changing my mind

Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like crazy, girl?

I wouldn't last a single day
I'd probably just fade away
Without you I'd lose my mind

Before you ever came along
I was living life all wrong
The smartest thing I ever did was make you all mine


Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman, come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like crazy, girl?
Like crazy, girl

Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like

Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like crazy, girl?

Like crazy
Crazy girl
Like crazy
Crazy girl

respond

:: 2011 12 November :: 11.12 pm

I decided yesterday that I was going to start writing in here everyday. Just to keep a journal and record of even the most boring things I do.
Today started out with callie waking up at around 730.norther jared out I was ready to get out of bed so we put her in bed with us and she confined to talk to her self quietly while I laid next her her with eyes closed for 15 more minutes. I finally got up and brought her downstairs. Gave her some milk and changed her while we waited for sister to wake up.autumn of course wanted mama cereal and the baby had an egg and some sweet potato puffs. Daddy wakes up at around 930. He goes to the store and takes callie with him. They pick up pictures at walmart and go to meijer. while they are gone autumn and I do some glitter crafts and play out side.it was so nice out today.sunny and warm...especially in the sun. We had lunch and then just putted around while jared put up the new and kitchen light. By that time it was almost dinner time. So I heated the oven and baked some chicken and potatoes and autumn and I made some chocolate chip cookies too. Speaking of...I'm hungry.... I'm going to go eat...

respond

:: 2011 10 November :: 11.55 pm

My whole life there has only been one thing Ive known I have always wanted. To feel beautiful. And still to this day I have yet to feel that way.

respond

:: 2011 27 October :: 12.07 am

Wow it's been long. I have a few posts about Callie Mae... but I just wrote them.. like with a paper and pencil! OMG! haha Anyways. She's a whole year old. I've missed... a lot lately. I've been so sick. No one understands how I feel. But I thought of it today. Imagine have the flu, yes the diarrhea upset stomach achey tired flu... for 9 weeks straight. That's how I felt and still feel. It's very hard for me to do anything without having to run to the bathroom. Recently I've had an upset stomach that comes and goes and has made me lose my appetite. So much that.. I'm down to 89 lbs. I'm 5'4 and 89 lbs.. I look.. horrible. I feel horrible. I feel like a horrible parent. I can't do things with my kids. I missed autumn's first day of school, I haven't been able to go for walks all summer or go to the park, Autumn's halloween party is tomorrow, as well as dr appointment and "family" pictures that I won't be attending are friday, I did however make it through autumn's birthday and Callie's without too many episodes. I didn't feel good.. but I made it through. Callie has started walking from the couch to the table and to the wall willingly... but won't walk any further even though she can. (she walked 22+ steps the other night). She still have beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes... she loves her sister and her daddy.. and even me too!
Ugh, I can't believe I missed so much. I just have to take each day.. one step at a time. I can't believe I've been sick so long.. with no answers. Hopefully soon.
Prayers are needed.

1 Please | respond

:: 2011 21 June :: 4.39 am

Seriously... if god is punishing me for having a cute baby....I would rather have an ugly one. I NEED SLEEP¡!!!!!!!!!!!!

respond

:: 2011 7 June :: 1.11 am

8 months old. Still no teeth, still having pooping issues (constipation) poor thing. You still ready every four hours 24 hours a day. Which means you wake up 3 times in the middle of the night still so you sleep in bed with me. It doesn't bother me though because I know that someday you won't want to be near me and then ill be sad. This way I won't regret the time I didn't spend with you....which I pretty much spend all day everyday with you. I don't mind.in fact I love it and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not sure on your measurements right now.I'll measure you tomorrow...

respond

:: 2011 7 June :: 1.11 am

8 months old. Still no teeth, still having pooping issues (constipation) poor thing. You still ready every four hours 24 hours a day. Which means you wake up 3 times in the middle of the night still so you sleep in bed with me. It doesn't bother me though because I know that someday you won't want to be near me and then ill be sad. This way I won't regret the time I didn't spend with you....which I pretty much spend all day everyday with you. I don't mind.in fact I love it and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not sure on your measurements right now.I'll measure you tomorrow...

respond

:: 2011 11 May :: 12.10 am

A day late..
Callie,
I'm sorry I'm late. Time goes by so quickly now that you're here. I hate it. I want you to stay my baby forever. You're already 7 months old. 7 months ago I delivered you in our bathroom. Wow. Over half way to your first birthday. Insane! Any ways... At your last dr.appointment (may 2nd) you were STILL only 67 cm long (roughly 26 inches) and get this, 19.5 lbs! You are off the charts for weight and normal for height. You sit soooo well now. You learn forward so far that you end up on one knee...but still you manage to sit back down with out falling (most times!). Recently,i moved you to your crib. Is maybe been a week. The pay two nights though you've ended up back in bed with me. You s sleep so much better that way...but daddy has gotten so used to you not being in bed that every morning his pillow magically ends up in the middle of the bed where you "used" to lay. You have hard a hard time pooping this past week...in fact you haven't pooped really at all since monday when you had your first BLOW OUT in cloth at the appointment. Other than that one time..you have not pooped out of your cloth diapers. So the cloth diapers are working well for us. I believe your sudden issue with pooping is caused by your eating habits changing. All of a sudden it seems you started eating purees. And then in a short time we moved you to eating twice a day. A fruit and oatmeal mix in the am amd then a fruit and veggie mix in the evening. You were eating really well for like a week straight.now not so much..i think you feel like your belly is full (full of poo!) So its uncomfortable for you to eat. Lets see....you love to stand now. If you're ever upset.. Standing you up..will stop your tears with out fail. We go out side every day. You LOVE grass. Your sister hated it. Oh, and speaking of your sister..you absolutely adore her. You talk and talk and talk to each other all the time. And laugh together. She is the best big sister and you are the best little sister. You have a great relationship with each other..i hope it status this good throughout your childhood and into your adult lives. Oh..your newest"trick"is talking on my phone. I use speaker phone so whenever I'm on it, you hold my phone and start jabbering away. Its the cutest thing. You are the cutest thing. I love you baby. And I'm so grateful you are a part of my life.

1 Please | respond