i'm don't have anything to say, except i like this cd, it could be their best yet. um. one more thing, i'm happy for friends that know how to make me keep going.

<3
no i don't hate you,
don't want to fight you,
you know i'll always love you
but right now i just don't like you
cause you took this too far

japan next summer... wow.
school is hard and i'm tired yet i still stay up late when i don't have work to do.
i have a new love interest and he might interested as well.
danielle in a steady relationship? we shall see. not getting hopes up yet.
teachers amuse me.

the end. i'm alive. <3

and i'm so tired.
i still have 7/8 questions left to go in psychology then i have to study for our quiz on operant conditioning that we have tomorrow...
...and i thought i had gotten a lot of stuff done this weekend.
at least i got the first part of my internal assessment done.
but by golly i will get my one A in trig and the rest B's for this nine weeks. i will. even if i don't ever sleep.
i will get away from it all this weekend and take a trip up to orlando this weekend with some lovelys. stress needs to be relieved.
i work too much. i have no more weekends. school or work. i need cas hours. screw work.

i miss crushing or even having a boy to look at. oh yeah, i don't have time for that though.

<3 i still love you.

i really hate crying about school.
the thoughts about everything just won't go away and i just can't take it and just breakdown.
looking at those pictures from orlando, thought those could cheer me up, but they didn't.
i got my psych test back today and i was just like.... what am i going to do?
like i have no freaken clue.
how am i going to do this?
is it possible?
can this hurricane just take me away?

<3

i'll do anything for another couple of days with you

man. i loved this summer, i'm going to miss it so much. i loved the boredom, those fine boys, my summer lovin, my big family vacation on the beach in north carolina, sleepovers with tina, trip to orlando, concerts, the beach... just everything. i'd do anything for a few more days or a whole month.

on better news, other than school, the pimp mobile is now on the road and will be coming to a neighborhood near you as soon as possible. just call danielle on the cell and she'll pay you a visit since she got a really asian job today that will pay her $7 an hour, because i just rock, which means like $500 dollars a month so we can have fuuun. rock the universe here we come.

<3

these are the words of the popstars.

i swear, i can't say it enough but i just can't do the whole kid thing. they just drive me crazy. my parents keep telling me that it is different when they are your own kids, which i totally understand, but i don't know, i'm weird. so i've been watching my little cousin, emily, a five year old. she talks back to me and does that whole, "you're not my boss" thing and then i get angry with her and tell her to not say it again and she says something like, "i don't even want to be next to you" and then she ends up hurting my feelings. just can't do it. only two more days of watching her though. thank goodness.

got my decal and locker today. saw no one. excited for school? no. i'm excited about kailannie's party tomorrow night, i'll see a lot of people i have missed over these past couple of months, plus tina lent me clothing so that i will look ready for the club.

my brother came back this week from his job in new york and seemed like he has a changed a little. he came home the first day and was like, "you want to go shopping?" then yesterday we were sitting around and he was playing a cd that had konstantine on it. i was just like, "woah... who are you?" he still parties though and whatever, but hey, he's going to uf in a week or so.

i'm done. enjoy your last summer weekend!

<3

i would love to write a nice long, interesting journal entry but i find nothing to write about, so i'll write about my weekend and some thoughts, maybe it'll turn out to be lengthy.

so we went to orlando. we being tina, her little cousins, megan and morgan, their mommy, the grandparents, and the parentals. we arrived in the early afternoon saturday and headed for the mall, only to find it overcrowded and not fun for shopping due to long lines and such. so we went to the hotel and went swimming and hot tubbing. then went to anne's more private pool at her house. swam for a good hour. tina likes taking advantage. the kids were fun. chicken fights with the girls... haha. tina got slapped accidentally. morgan and her no fear. went back to the hotel, showered and changed for dinner. went back to anne's house and got pulled over in the process. whew. scary. thank goodness for being "tourists". ate dinner, watched vietnamese music thingys, got abused by the little kids. silly kids, trying to jump on danielle's back. went back to the hotel and slept in the freezing room. interesting dream. woke up sunday to go to blizzard beach. boy was it cold in that room. got dressed and ate breakfast at perkins. people sitting behind us were muy interesante. they sounded like they had a fun saturday night. went to blizzard beach. got settled and just had an enjoyable day at a waterpark. i love disney. everything about it. especially those great looking guys in bathing suits. mmm... i'll take one of those. ate chinese food afterwards then it was back home. good times.

current thoughts:

the dmc started tonight. sadly, i watched a lot of it. listened to all of jimmy carter's speech and al gore's. i hope their optimism for the future works out cause it sure does sound like they want to make this world a better place, so vote kerry if you can vote.

thats another thing, why can't we vote? i imagine a lot of us are just as smart or smarter than a good portion of the population that can in fact vote so why not let us?

i don't get guys and their bullshit. whatever works for you. good luck in the future.

christina and i figured that i should just baby-sit kids and not parent them since i have a problem about being mean and disiplining. i will just be the favorite aunt.

i love no sales tax week and shopping in the dark except for the no ac part. dance party in the dressing room with the flashlight!!

imissyoutoomuch.

<3
not as lengthy as i would like. whatever.

so it seems lately that every conversation i have with my dad is either about how psycho my mom is and/or when i'm going to be able to drive. if all goes as i want it to, which is doubtful but definitely hopeful, i will get a job in the next two weeks, work, babysit for my aunt the week before school and make a few hundred, get my license the 30th of july, have it in hand, and then get insurance sometime before school starts because our damn insurance that we have now expires on august 7th so we found a new one that we get on that day and my dad doesn't want to add me right away because of money reasons. heck yeah though. finally going to be able to drive the pimpin oldsmobile, even if the first time is to school on wednesday.

other than that... my life is somewhat boring at the moment, i don't do much of anything which is fine because that i guess is what summer is partly supposed to be about. ap scores sucked majorly, didn't pass one of them, oh well, over and done with now. that's all for now. i must try to update at least one of my journals more often.

<3 love you.

i can hardly catch my breath, i hope it lasts

it's good.
crushes die hard, but i've learned to get over them.
you guys are going to hate me i have a feeling, but you should be happy for me.
i might keep this one.

north carolina was wonderful. i love my dad's family more than anything in the world.

i hate trying to find a job. no one wants to hire a teenage white girl. only if my parents would understand that and just let me get my license, so i can drive and see all you people, because i miss you, you and you.

<3 that's all for now.

rbf thursday night.
danielle crowd surfing.
be there, ashley cline will be.

so i got my hair cut. finally.
i'm so cute... with this haircut i can say that. now all i need are some highlights. my neighbor couldn't do them tonight, but she says she will do them when i return. yay. my mom has this theory with me getting my haircut, she says that i just get it to shock myself, which is completely true.

so i leave tomorrow. one night at grandma's and then a 10 hour drive to spend the next 7 nights in a house that sleeps 28 on the beach in north carolina. i'm excited. a nice big house to stay away from my mom and the rest of my family to keep me interested and happy.

love you. call the cell sometime during the week and make me feel special and to make my cousins jealous.

To think I might not see those eyes
It makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly do.

so since my last depressing journal, that was friends only, haha, shut all you nosey or too cheap to pay for woohu out, the past couple of days have been enjoyable. christina rescued me wednesday night from my bedroom and brought me over to hers to show me her hot short skirt. she fed me oreos and milk, and we watched tv and she got me smiling again. i kept her up til 4 with my picture taking, and all my talking, about things i can't even remember, probably about boys. woke up at 10 to watch reruns of those silly people that run along dawson's creek. i'm almost am hooked, i just need someone to wake me up at 10 every morning to watch it. she made me breakfast and we hung around and then my mom came to pick me up. went home, she left for work, i was happy. after my date canceled on me, i took to the tv and watched movies til 6 when dad came home, finished monster, then he took me out to dinner. came home, and i went to christina's house. watched the end of moulin rouge with them, flipped the channels, talked a bit, went upstairs, talked some more while watching down with love, then i left, went to the guest room, checked to make sure there wasn't a monster in the closet, and went to bed. tina woke me up at 10:30 like i asked her to and i found out that her and christine didn't sleep at all the night before. funny, crazy girls. we watched dawson's creek and then decided to walk to taco bell. mmm... yummy food! we got 4 honks from various cars, 2 times from the mailman, eww. i was a multi-tasker on the way home, got my apartment finder magazine, swedish fish, and soda and walked. we passed these girls and i heard them whisper, "we could take them", they were like in 7th grade, losers. came home and crashed, then i left and now i'm home alone again. yay.

and now i just wonder. everyone goes to summer school next week, but then again, i will be leaving too. family time in north carolina. i'm excited. i will get tan, be more in shape, and happier i hope by the time i get home.

<3