Day 15 - A song that describes you
this took way too long to find. i like it though. practice practice practice until you get it right. then practice some more. i like the bass drum rolls, these guys are dialed in.
nothing fancy, but CLEAN. this is probably why i don't have friends. turns out it's hard to find drumline videos on youtube with match grip. but i still like what they have going on here. never thought i'd miss high school so much.
Day 13 - A song that is a guilty pleasure
i have a dancing plethora of guilty pleasures. i knew it either had to be jazz (which nobody else likes), country (which i typically don't like), or chick music. chick music was the obvious one, but i still had a hard time deciding, because i really kinda like chick music, as long as it's not just being that for the sake of attention.
and jewel's a fox. funky teeth and all, i'd do her in a heartbeat.
Day 12 - A song from a band you hate
i don't care that it's catchy, which it is. i care that it's uninventive, redundant, and i've heard it a kajillion times. they raped grunge rock for the money, and successfully sold out to the man, sacrificing the art form in the process. the worse part is, so few people noticed.
Day 10 - A song that makes you fall asleep
okay, so anything worth listening to is going to probably keep me awake. if i really want something to put me to sleep it better be mindless, chill, and familiar. this is at least two of those, and far from mindless. brubeck was pure unadulterated genius at its finest.
no idea what the video is about, but the audio is from an album called "brubeck plays brubeck", which i have fallen asleep to many a time. piano jazz is always a good call if you're looking to calm the fuck down.
well, since we already established that i can't dance, this one doesn't really work.
all i know is this groove makes my pants tight. if it doesn't at least make you tap your foot or nod your head or jiggle around in your chair or something, call a doctor, you may be broken.
Refuses to give up. I'm SO close. I just can't let it go. So maybe I fucked up, I have to do this..otherwise everything I've worked for will be for nothing.
Graduating will mean everything to me.
I don't care if I have to move to Alaska for grad school. I will knock down doors until somebody lets me in. I want to help people, it's what makes me want to live. It gives me purpose and meaning in my life.
I WILL be something. I am a smart person, I can't just give up and work at the casino for the rest of my life. I need to push through these hard times. Maybe this is what will change my life around for the better.
When I think of my future, I know what I want, and it's not living in a dumpy college apartment, struggling to make ends meet living paycheck to paycheck.
so I go out for a friends birthday, meet up with a bunch of people from work at our hangout pub. As the night wraps up, a girl from work (who I would kill for to get with) invites me to the after party for some more drinks and drink compliments.
Long story short, as we are all going to pass out this girl (now thoroughly intoxicated i.e. deal breaker) wakes my ass up and asks me to go outside to have a cigarette with her (I still don't smoke and I wasn't cigarette drunk either). I go with her outside of this dorm that requires a keycard for entry at the University of Maryland when she of course notices that she forgot a lighter. She head back upstairs to find it and leaves me outside with no shoes. Its raining. She doesn't come back.
So there I am, in a place infested with police patrolling for drunk college kids who just graduated, with no shoes, in the rain, with no fucking clue where I am.
lucky for me she gave me her iPhone before heading back upstairs, which I used to navigate my way out. Doesn't mean I didn't have to walk around campus in socks while it was raining looking for the parking lot I parked my car in.
So now I have a new iPhone and a pack of menthols (If I DID smoke, I would not smoke menthols).
Ok so, I went to hang out with her because I think she's cute. I didn't try and make a move or anything, but I did put myself in the situation.
so last night nic told me something that really made sense. if you're upset about something or constantly worrying about something...don't. set aside 30 minutes of your day to actively think about it and to do what you can (if anything) to make it better. after that 30 minutes is up LET IT GO! for that day because otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy.
i really should start doing this. it's not easy though because thoughts easily pass through your mind that you don't intend, but i guess you just have to work on controlling it.
i realize i'm in a semi-crappy place right now, but maybe everyday ahead of me, i can do a little something to make it better.
today, i went through my finances and wrote in my planner all my bill due dates and amounts that automatically come out of my checking account..maybe it seems obvious or trivial but i don't keep track of that stuff usually very well and this will help me be a little less worried about finances. +1 for the day...
ps-i really appreciate the advice given on previous entries. it truly helped
Day 07 - A song that reminds you of a certain event
always love me some four finger five. i remember getting sufficiently buzzed at one of their shows at founders and listening to this song and dancing my fool head off. which is sad, because i'm really a spectacularly terrible dancer. i apologize to whoever may have been forced to endure it.
I can't even explain it, it's too long and it makes me too disappointed in myself.
The only thing in life that made me feel good about myself and accomplished and hopeful for the future was speech pathology, and i've slowly just majorly fucked it all up.
i'm so lost, i wish i could turn back time and do things differently but i know it can't. and i'm too ashamed to admit all the wrong/bad i've done in school and with potential letters of rec. from professors that are on the admissions board. i'm an idiot and i feel like i've lost all that i worked for.
i remember driving out to the big lake a lot one summer, and this album kept finding its way into the mix. it's seriously great driving/beaching music. and this particular song is pretty representative of the one that got away - at least we had our summer.
Day 04 - A song that makes you sad
there are like seventy million sad songs that i really like out there. and some songs that make me sad, even though the songs themselves are not.
here's what i came up with:
i think it's a pretty cool video, even if the audio is slightly distorted.
and this:
while it's not my favorite version of the song, it is the original. i like his voice, but the backing music is pretty lame.
normally i prefer sad songs. i just think they sound prettier. but every time i hear this song, it's inexplicably difficult for me to suppress my shit-eating grin.
first of all, if you don't want me to get sick of your songs, don't play them fucking 24/7. secondly, this is not my least favorite band. there are some really terrible musicians out there, and these guys are not it. but for whatever reason, i fucking HATE this song. even the live version pisses me off. if you're gonna sing a song, don't tell the crowd to sing it for you. everything about this song is mediocre and generic. i still like a lot of their catalog, though. this was just a very low point in it.