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2004 7 July :: 1.21 pm
:: Mood: lonely
eDen all-nighter
I'm awake
The rest of you are sleeping
What if you will miss it
When it comes
I'm at Ben's and I'm the only one awake out of me, Nick, Ben and Brett.
It's lonely, being alone.
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2004 6 July :: 1.35 pm
:: Mood: sad
I'll never forgive myself for thinking that it was a hat.
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2004 6 July :: 1.27 am
:: Mood: annoyed
Yarrr!
Don't call things gay or I will beat you within an inch of your life.
And I'm non-violent.
To end with a total oxymoron: I love you all.
P.S. Arg, I be obsessered!
Read more..
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2004 5 July :: 5.27 pm
:: Mood: sad
I'm sorry.
Talk to me. I'm here.
I've been through it how many times now? Three? Four?
And once for someone else.
I've been through it all.
I can help. Let me.
I'm here.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
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2004 5 July :: 12.58 pm
Fireworks are so beautiful.
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I think Kelly might like this icon, I can't stop looking at it...
Read more..
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2004 4 July :: 12.34 pm
Only in America
I AM NEVER GOING TO EAT A HOT DOG EVER AGAIN!
A Japanese guy (Takeru Kobayashi, he's really cute) won the hot dog eating contest. He ate 53 and a half hot dogs. Ug. I don't ever want to even see a hot dog again!
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Here we are, on the day in which we celebrate our idependence from England.
All over the country, people are preparing to celebrate with a pyro's wet dream and food.
Here we are, my family. I was watching The Twilight Zone marathon on Sci-Fi. We're a geeky family. We're weird.
Suddenly, we are transformed into real Americans.
And now we sit in our living room watching a hot dog eating contest on ESPN.
Only in America, where gluttony is king.
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2004 3 July :: 11.49 pm
I feel am really really stupid.
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2004 3 July :: 5.17 pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: some bird movie
Random thinkings
I just finished watching Field of Dreams for the thousandth time.
I love that movie.
My parentals bought us chitlins the first book in A Series of Unfortunate Events since the movie's coming out later this year. Hannah and Nathaniel say the books are great. The movie looks totally awesome.
I always seem to cause trouble without really meaning to. I'm sorry.
I have a weird view on things. At least, compared to other people's views. I care/love/am nice to people no matter what that person has done/said to me.
No matter what.
You could be really pissed at me and I'd be pissed at you for maybe half an hour. Only as a reflex.
Then I'd feel really awful and beat myself up about it.
And I think that's normal. I think that's perfect.
Love everyone, be nice to everyone no matter what.
And I don't hate.
But somehow it's weird. Somehow I'm weird.
I just do what feels natural.
On a slightly curious note: Who's going to Brett Bretterson's tomorrow? (you've filled out nicely, too.)
I love you all.
Put on whatever makes you attractive
If it isn't you then do it for the sake of fashion
Your friends like a certain you
That's who you've got to be
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2004 3 July :: 12.39 pm
:: Mood: contemplative
I love the smell of burning things.
I've been thinking about the future.
Since it keeps getting closer.
I want to go to GVSU. I'll major in French and minor in Japanese or "east asian studies" (too lazy to capitalize).
I'll probably do a Japanese exchange thing along with a French summer school program.
Then I'll get a job translating something or working for THE MAN.
Oh yeah. I'll move to California (or Martinique, Kelly) then I'll write my novel in my free time.
But if I work for THE MAN, I might have to live near him.
The future looks fantastical.
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2004 2 July :: 8.58 pm
w00t! w00t!
Read more..
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2004 2 July :: 5.00 pm
:: Mood: amused
Boring amusements
I was reading Nick's sister's journal, because I'm bored and weird, and she was having a bad day about half a month ago.
Even though the entry is really full of angry angst, it's sort of funny.
Something of hers was missing and she blamed Ben and Nick: so then that leaves nick, or ben, probably both! AND I JUST DONT EVEN WANT TO FUCKING THINK ABOUT THAT, because they're prob. gay, and prob. used my shit, ajkndflkjakfljd ughh just the thought makes me want to fucking shoot myself.
Then she's mad at Nick again: There's now way that they [Ben and Nick] can't be gay.
And at one point, she wasn't mad at Nick: Suprisingly he gives really good advice, and can be really good at help.
Other people's lives are highly entertaining.
And very interesting.
Quote of the day: just because you have a brain in your head, doesn't mean you can't love her!
I love you all.
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2004 1 July :: 10.56 pm
:: Mood: thoroughly displeased
Sorry but I'm going to be cussing like a sailor for the next few days
Today: snafu.
Our fucking computer has a damn virus.
That's the only explanation I can come up with.
IE isn't working. Our internet is fine but IE keeps giving us that damnable page cannot be displayed thing.
So I'm a teeny bit pissed.
This is the first virus we've ever gotten. We've been working on it for over 6 hours and the only progress we've made is to create a boot disk for IE.
Which helps so much.
So if any of you know anything about a virus that makes shitty IE stop working, it'd help us out a lot.
Why would you make a virus? Just to sit around laughing as you think about all the people you're pissing off? I bet the kid is twelve. And he's a furry. He's probably bragging to all his friends right now while playing D&D.
People fucking disgust me.
So here's my traditional warning: don't open attachments, click links on pop-ups or open those e-mails that say you've won a bajillion bucks.
Tomorrow we're calling ABS, the people who made our comp, to see if they know anything about it.
I'm going to chill all day. I'll try to get some sleep tonight and then just leave the house and go somewhere far away from computers that have viruses.
It pisses me off so much.
So I might not be online that much until we get this fixed. I don't want to spread the virus like genital herpes and I don't feel like dealing with it.
I love you all.
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2004 1 July :: 5.37 pm
:: Mood: angry
My parental units are dad is being a complete dumbass about my lack of driving and a job.
If I could get a job, I'd have one.
If I wanted to drive, if it didn't scare me half to death, if I didn't hate it with every fiber of my being, I'd be driving.
Grr...
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2004 1 July :: 2.46 pm
:: Mood: awake
ACT score
Well.
I don't feel like lying or hiding or whatever.
I got a 25 on the ACT.
I wanted to get a 30 or a 28.
But I didn't. And I feel dumb.
So I'll probably be re-taking it.
I love you all.
P.S. I got maybe three hours of sleep last night and woke up at 10:41. So if I seem crazy, it's because I am. Tired, I mean.
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2004 1 July :: 12.33 am
:: Mood: contemplative
Sometimes it's hard to believe reality is reality.
Sometimes the prettiest stars are neither the ones in the sky nor in the movies.
Sometimes your own beliefs can become unbelievable to yourself.
Sometimes thinking is the best recreational activity.
Sometimes dreams are real.
Sometimes you need to spend a whole day just listening.
I love you all.
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2004 29 June :: 9.16 pm
:: Mood: indescribable
Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me
I finally scanned my senior pictures because I'm cool like that.
So now you may witness them in all their senior picture glory.
Joy and rapture. I bet you can't wait.
Some don't look that great because the scanner is a bit dirty (fingerprints, smudges, dirt, whatever). I'm really quite beautiful. Ha, sure.
But yeah, they're a little smudged. And larger than they should be. So they look like crap.
Read more..
If you want one, tell me and I'll talk it over with my mom. She's a little paranoid about them. Or you could talk to her. Or you can print out your own. Oo! It's like a Choose Your Own Adventure book! Sort of. (If you want to print them out on your own, turn to page 4,596,208,390. If you want to be eaten by the shark, turn to page 4.)
I love you all.
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2004 29 June :: 5.59 pm
I want to see The Terminal.
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2004 29 June :: 2.09 pm
:: Mood: hungry
:: Music: Let Go by Frou Frou
Pointless entry...yay!
Is this it? Is it?
I woke up at my normal time today and I was quite upset at myself. I want to wake up earlier.
Tomorrow I'm going to explore the other part of that path running through town. I'll wake up early and head out as soon as I can.
I've had this song stuck in my head since I started to feel lonely and homesick on Wednesday. These are the parts that were stuck in my head and seem relevant.
Read more..
I love you all.
Sometimes I like to get away from this maddening shroud...
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2004 29 June :: 1.29 am
Halo and that Spider-man2 video game
Gephyrophobia is the fear of crossing bridges.
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[edit 1:49]
My brother is playing the Spider-man 2 video game. He just beat this boss and before it disappeared to the land of dead video game bosses it said, "You have no chance to survive make your time."
Obscure geeky references crack me up. It would've been even better if he put the "HA HA HA" at the end of it but, hey, it was still pretty hilarious.
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2004 29 June :: 12.10 am
:: Mood: contemplative
70|)4y
Today, I woke up at ten-ish to my mom shoving the phone in my face. It was Nick calling to see if I wanted to hang out with him, Ben and Brigitte.
So we hung out and blah de blah.
Went to eDEN. It's so cool. It's like a cyber cafe. We went once early on then again later. I played this guy in DDR but I hadn't played in a month. Still, he sux0red and I beat him bad. Now my legs hurt.
Before that we sat around and Nick had to go to work but didn't. We got Brigitte a memory card because she got a GCN (w00t).
And, of course, I fell asleep. I don't know why. I wasn't trying and I don't even remember doing it. I was lying down because watching Nick play Vice City was making me queasy. Then I woke up.
I had a dream about a boat and a storm. Nick and Ben say it's because they were washing the house. Hm.
All in all, a darn good day. I'm going to try to hang out with people more. I missed people a lot more than I thought.
Me mum went online and got my ACT score. It was bad. I was aiming for a 30 or even a 28 but missed it because of my damn math score. I hate math. Can some of you guys help me out next year with this Algebra 2 crap? I suck at algebra.
I want to go to eDEN again. Minus the fact that I was the only girl there and I was surrounded by geeky guys who looked like they had never seen a girl, it was really fun.
I'm rambling, sorry.
I love you all.
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