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2004 14 October :: 11.02 pm
:: Mood: tired
Happy birthday, Nick.
Yeah, it's late in the day and I said it a thousand times but happy 18 anyway.
So a lot of stuff is happening.
Not to me necessarily, but to everyone around me.
And right now, I don't feel like going over it all.
I just want you to know that shit is happening, yo.
I love you all.
P.S. They finally shipped the stupid thing. Those jerks. Estimated Delivery Date: 10/19/04. They're in Texas. That's maybe six states away. If it's not here on Saturday, I'm going to kill someone.
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2004 12 October :: 9.01 pm
:: Mood: meh
Nick's present is not going to get here by Thursday unless there's some miracle. By miracle, I mean that it ships late tonight and gets here tomorrow.
He came over today. So I gave him half of his presents. Which means one. So it was a semi-anniversary/early birthday/late birthday present.
It was the present I was going to give him last year but then we broke up and it seemed inappropriate.
My parents are harping on me to get a "real job" since my "fake job" ended last week and I won't have anything until January.
My mom went as far as to say that she is "sick of supporting me".
Great. Thanks a bunch, I love you too.
So tomorrow probably, I'm going to walk over to Blockbuster and apply. Then I'll try to go job cruising this weekend and maybe get some driving experience.
Or I'll try to hoodwink people who currently have jobs into maybe getting me a job.
Oh and I feel oh so guilty that I'm filling out an online Blockbuster application right now and I'm going to go in tomorrow too.
Maybe.
It's so dumb.
I love you all.
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2004 12 October :: 3.47 pm
I didn't feel like going to bed last night so I didn't.
I read The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven for a while.
I wasn't tired and it was 1 amish so I went online and talked with Ben for a bit.
I went back to bed and came back online at around 1:40.
I went back to bed because Ben wanted to go to bed and I had no one to talk to.
I ended up falling asleep around 2:30 or 3.
And I woke up with three or three and a half hours of sleep.
I wasn't tired at all. I was actually more awake than I have been for a long time.
And I'm still pretty awake.
Today in Physics, fourth hour, we went outside. It was cold. I was cold earlier this morning and Ben gave me his jacket thing so I was slightly less cold.
Blah blah
Today my brother and sister didn't have school. Tomorrow, Thursday and Friday, we have half days.
Today is four months for me and Nick.
It's cold outside. It smells like Fall. I love that smell.
My family is going apple picking tomorrow I think. Hopefully.
I'm cold.
Janina leaves on Saturday. I might cry.
I hope I get my moneys soon so I can get Ben his birthday present ASAP. Whatever that will be.
I have to write six pages for AP Lit by Thursday. Again. Well, last time it was nine pages and I wrote it the night before and I was up until 2 in the morning.
Blah de blah.
I love you all.
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2004 11 October :: 9.16 pm
I just realized I've been putting my accent the wrong way on my French name in French class.
For about a week.
Sometimes I'm such an idiot.
I love you all.
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2004 11 October :: 6.36 pm
Oh, yeah. I forgot.
Happy Canuck Thanksgiving!
Today was Take Your Teddy Bear to Work Day. I feel upset that I missed it.
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2004 11 October :: 4.19 pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Heaven by Lamb
The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven
There are things you should learn. Your past is a skeleton walking one step behind you, and your future is a skeleton walking one step in front of you. Maybe you don't wear a watch, but your skeletons do, and they always know what time it is. Now, these skeletons are made of memories, dreams, and voices. And they can trap you in the in-between, between touching and becoming. But they're not necessarily evil, unless you let them be.
What you have to do is keep moving, keep walking, in step with your skeletons. They ain't ever going to leave you, so you don't have to worry about that. Your past ain't going to fall behind, and your future won't get too far ahead. Sometimes, though, your skeletons will talk to you, tell you to sit down and take a rest, breathe a little. Maybe they'll make you promises, tell you all the things you want to hear.
Sometimes your skeletons will dress up as beautiful Indian women and ask you to slow dance. Sometimes your skeletons will dress up as your best friend and offer you a drink, one more for the road. Sometimes your skeletons will look exactly like your parents and offer you gifts.
But, no matter what they do, keep walking, keep moving. And don't wear a watch. Hell, Indians never need to wear a watch because your skeletons will always remind you about the time. See, it is always now. That's what Indian time is. The past, the future, all of it is wrapped up in the now. That's how it is. We are all trapped in the now.
This is a darn good book. 10 billion times better than the movie.
I love you all.
P.S. New layout. Not much of a change. Icon with lyrics from Lamb. Comment text from Small by Lamb. Title from What Is by Lamb. Text on the status bar is (for now) non-existent. The background is actually a picture I took of my (now dead) flowers that Nick brought me. Without the flash, it made them look red instead of pink. I'm in a Lamb mood.
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2004 11 October :: 6.10 am
Nick goes in for his CAT scan today.
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2004 10 October :: 10.50 pm
I just made a thank you card for Ben.
It's the best card ever.
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2004 10 October :: 5.46 pm
:: Mood: bored
Downloading games illegally is not worth the hassle.
Especially when I have no idea what I'm doing.
Sims 2 does rock but that's what patience is for.
Waiting.
For Christmas or a paycheck.
I love you all.
P.S. What is the sound that makes the world go round?
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2004 10 October :: 1.43 pm
Ben, I'm sorry.
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2004 9 October :: 5.30 pm
Lamb smurfing rocks.
The band, not the meat.
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2004 9 October :: 2.06 pm
Smurf, my life is boring.
I'm very hungry. I have a hunger headache. Yesterday all I ate were pomegranate seeds and two chocolate covered potato chips. And today all I ate was a piece of pizza.
Ben called and woke me up at noon-thirty and was all upset that I was asleep.
I'm hungry.
Yesterday was interesting. We had the Homecoming assembly during sixth hour so both fifth and sixth hours were cut in half. None of the teachers wanted us to get ahead of any of their last two hour classes so we didn't do much.
I can't think of anything really awesome that occured.
After school, it rained a lot.
Katie, Janina, Amanda and I went running all over the place looking for Ben because since Amanda broke her ankle, Ben's been giving her a ride home.
So speed walking through the rain, soaking wet, rushing through the senior parking lot, I looked for Ben's car.
I ended up taking off my sandals because they were filling up with water and I could walk faster without them.
Katie and Janina hopped on their bus and went home. Amanda went inside so her cast didn't fall apart. Jon and I chased after Amanda and her friend. I used Wessely-sensei's phone and called Ben and asked him if he could pick up Amanda, please and thank you.
He came, we were soaked.
I played Fable and almost fell asleep. Then I took a nap for what I planned to be 15 minutes and ended up being an hour.
My brother didn't want to stand out in the rain and watch the Homecoming game so I called Ben to see if he wanted to come. He'd never been to a football game at Rockford before.
Plus my sister and I needed a ride there.
Blah blah blah. An hour or so later, we're at the game and Ben wants to go home and watch the debate.
So Ben and I go over to his house, watch the debate for a bit, get bored, watch Red vs. Blue, Nick calls because he was looking for me and says he might come over, Ben and I play Turtles in time on SNES then Ben takes me home.
Nick, who has been following us apparently, pulls right behind us when we get to my house and we all hang out before Ben heads home. Nick and I talk for a while then Nick heads over to Ben's.
I go inside and go to bed.
Ben wakes me up at noon-thirty, tries to get me to see if Jackie's home this weekend, I'm too lazy and I go eat.
So here I am. I'm going to go find something to eat and get dressed.
I love you all.
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2004 7 October :: 10.48 pm
I spent all of my very first paycheck in my entire life and my babysitting money and some of my "emptied the dishwasher without being asked" money today.
On something that probably won't be used and is just fueling capitalism.
I feel empty and drained now.
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2004 7 October :: 6.17 pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: I Won't Share You by The Smiths
A Very Smiths Entry
I just listened to the last song The Smiths ever released. It makes me sad. I wish I was alive when they were together.
ZOMG!!!!11one! I got Meat is Murder off of Limewire. It's so awesome. At the beginning there's the sound of some saw blade and a cow mooing. Majorly awesome vegetarian song.
I love you all.
Heifer whines could be human cries
Closer comes the screaming knife
This beautiful creature must die
This beautiful creature must die
A death for no reason
And death for no reason is MURDER
And the flesh you so fancifully fry
Is not succulent, tasty or kind
It's death for no reason
And death for no reason is MURDER
And the calf that you carve with a smile
Is MURDER
And the turkey you festively slice
Is MURDER
Do you know how animals die ?
P.S. Another majorly awesome The Smiths moment, I just got one of their songs entitled Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others. I love The Smiths.
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2004 7 October :: 5.14 pm
My brother and I are watching Aladdin.
I cut up my pomegranate once I got home from school. There are so many seeds. It's delicious. I don't even have to cut up my second one for school tomorrow.
"But you're so old."
I'm tired.
Who's going to the Homecoming game tomorrow? I'm thinking of going to tailgate too.
Today was a weird day. We had an in-class essay in AP Lit and I almost fell asleep writing it. It was also "back in time day" and I was cute.
Tomorrow will be an easy day since it's Friday and we have that Homecoming assembly about an hour before school gets out.
I love you all.
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2004 6 October :: 11.18 pm
:: Mood: calm
Today was my last day working until January or later.
Nick stopped by maybe an hour after I got home (which would be 6ish) and left as I left for work (8ish). That was nice. I hadn't seen him (or the no longer red baron) since Saturday and I missed him a lot.
I was looking up how to cut a pomegranate (my dad bought me two, I had been craving them since 7th grade, that's five or so years ago) and I found out how.
The thing is, I actually want to sleep tonight and I still have to take a shower. Cutting a pomegranate is time-consuming so the pomegranate is a no go until I have time.
So maybe tomorrow. Which upsets me greatly.
Or maybe I'll bring a bowl to school. Hmm...
I apologize that I haven't been myself (happy and smiling) lately. I'm sorry if I snap/snapped at you. I'm trudging through some stuff and I'm worrying about people things stuff.
Pray for Nick. If you want details, ask me tomorrow when everyone is there so I don't have to repeat myself a bajillion times.
I love you all.
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2004 5 October :: 6.13 pm
Oh my gosh...
There were these anti-domestic abuse commercials that they were going to run on some Canadian stations but were deemed too graphic.
They're the most horrifying things I've ever seen. I'm almost upset that they aren't running because I think they would actually work.
They're bad but they're good.
I love you all.
P.S. "...not bombs. Export your compassion and your generosity."
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2004 5 October :: 6.13 am
Happy birthday, Andy.
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2004 4 October :: 9.48 pm
Ben got his proofs today and stopped by with them.
He looks cute.
We just hung out talking and looking at America (the book).
I forgive him for almost backing over me with his car now.
I love you all.
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2004 4 October :: 5.15 pm
Ben almost backed me over with his car today. And I thought we were going to Mexico together. I thought we had something special. I let him borrow two of our SNES games.
I can't comment on anyone's friends only entries so sorry.
I'm going to the Homecoming football game on Friday and you should too.
Katie and Janina are going to the Homecoming dance and I would too but I don't want to spend my hard-earned money on it.
Mr. Watson, my Shakespeare teacher last year and my AP Lit teacher this year, likes The Smiths.
I love you all.
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