ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 20 October :: 1.49am
this is how i picture it:
"i don't understand, what am i confused about?"
"not confused exactly."
"what?"
"i'm telling you i love you."
"what?"
"my hand there, is holding my words, the light shining on both of our faces. and i'm smiling because i love you. and you don't, so you aren't moving or regarding the words."
silence.
"i know you don't. that's what it's about. but i love you."
"oh."
1 Blessed me with their words |
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 9 October :: 2.44am
i can't think of anything bad right now besides that lump.
things with dan are better than i could have imagined. there are no words. everything coming out of my mouth sounds so silly.
joe i see constantly. everything is just the way it always was and i am so happy. and christina and the fritz and arun and mandy and matt, they are all too much.
we went to the tower and i sat with my paints painting and you with your guitar playing until the light was gone and we found our way home. lazy weekends with you are the best weekends i've ever had, and what did i do to deserve all this goodness.
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 12 September :: 1.58pm
jasper was put down this morning. i love you puppy.
and i miss you terribly
2 Blessed me with their words |
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 11 September :: 5.09pm
"you came and i was crazy for you
and you cooled my mind that burned with longing"
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 2 September :: 7.29pm
i miss chocolate! of all the allergies to develop!
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 26 August :: 8.05pm
i miss joey. i don't think daniel will ever love me, but i am fairly sure he knows i love him and it makes him uneasy. i don't blame him at all. school is great, i'm painting and i have my own room. life goes on the same as it always has.
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 24 August :: 6.30pm
i want to come home joey
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 24 August :: 2.43am
my hair is growing but i am not, school is starting and my heart is full but with white sea foam and nothing more. i am not ashamed of myself, or maybe i am, but i know that i should not be, so i stand firm.
if you could love me you would, whether or not you were ready to.
it is okay and i am okay, so let's keep walking and we'll see where this takes you, because we already know where it has taken me.
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 18 August :: 12.26am
being in cape coral never stops being weird.
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 11 August :: 5.58pm
he did not miss me at all oh things are bad
1 Blessed me with their words |
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 10 August :: 8.13pm
NO BABY YAY
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 9 August :: 10.01pm
an answer would be nice!
god i miss danny. i hug a pillow at night.
i need help i need hugs i need a loved one to be with me
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 9 August :: 1.43am
OH MY GOD I WILL DO ANYTHING
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 8 August :: 3.15am
i think there is someone in my belly
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 7 August :: 2.58am
i dont want to miss you like this anymore
2 Blessed me with their words |
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 6 August :: 6.34am
so fucking tired. i spent the night in an airport, hooray
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 2 August :: 4.59am
do i seem different to you here on the stairs, bare and pleading oh please open yourself to me. my slow blooming flower, i am tired of petals. i know that it is natural YOU, but the planets are circling too slowly and i am weary of the days and the nights.
this will not last much longer or perhaps it will last forever. but please please it is all i ask, please tell me soon.
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 28 July :: 1.33am
i'll never love anybody but you baby, baby, i'll never love anybody but you if you'll be my boy
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 20 July :: 11.06pm
it is getting that way, i can smell you and feel you when you are gone. and the nights you are with me go on and on in a blur of your smells and your hair and when we wake up together we make love and fall back asleep together and everything is going to be different this time, or exactly the same, and i do not know but i do not care! i am falling falling in love and finally i want to paint and finally i want to do something with myself. OH yes yes yes yes eysysysysysyses yes!
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 18 July :: 3.49am
i do believe in it with all of my tiny little heart. and how could i ever doubt that your soft touch would leave simply because it is soft. my feet are firmly planted beside yours and my smile is getting bigger and bigger all the time.
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 14 July :: 11.11am
i overreacted, but i am way too worn down. what am i going to do when school comes back?
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 13 July :: 12.17pm
doctors all the time and swallowing barium is disgusting and prescriptions and i'm always sick and dan sleeps over and takes care of me but i know he must be so annoyed and he must want to leave for a girl that is just a little tougher
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 9 July :: 11.45pm
I took a moment from my day
Wrapped it up in things you say
Mailed it off to your address
Youll get it pretty soon unless
The packaging begins to break
And all the points I tried to make
Are tossed with thoughts into a bin
Time leaks out my life leaks in
You wont find moments in a box
And someone else will set your clocks
I took a moment from my day
Wrapped it up in things you say
And mailed it off to you
"i hope you are ready for a long ride."
my sentiments exactly!
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 9 July :: 11.42pm
HOLY CRAP,
am I ever tired of taking care of the sick! I AM sick! man up, people!
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 8 July :: 2.34pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0NdVPyPDqE
i will just as soon as i can.
1 Blessed me with their words |
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 27 June :: 5.02am
and daniel that song was so beautiful and i cannot believe it was you in 10th grade. you have so much to say and so much to do and if you want i will be here for the whole thing.
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 27 June :: 4.58am
when i am older, i will want to remember jamie speaking into the microphone in the middle of a fritz song, "jocelyn got a new haircut!" and the room screaming laughing jumping as the song continued. it was a very very very good moment to have and i'm glad i went out tonight after work. and i'm glad i cut 10 inches off my hair.
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 27 June :: 4.51am
i am and have been convinced for over a year now that I am the last woman on the world who could ever make you happy. it goes both ways of course, but the former is most clear. it is for this reason that i no longer care when something i say upsets you, because much of the time it is unintentional; my character itself just seems to anger you, no matter what the circumstances. i would say more but it is very difficult to express anything to you, not because you are stupid (in fact i think you are, thankfully, very intelligent), but because you will misread and twist my intentions, not because you WANT to (this is my dearest hope), but because we no longer understand one another. anything i can possibly say will be misconstrued by you. and frankly, i am completely done with trying to explain myself. it has gotten to be just silly.
1 Blessed me with their words |
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 26 June :: 3.43pm
a thousand times yes! and another thousand things to do. why am I online?
2 Blessed me with their words |
Are you an Angel, too?
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2009 24 June :: 7.28pm
joe is acting just as he did in high school he blames me for everything and pushes me out, completely out, yells and screams and wants me to roll over and die.
1 Blessed me with their words |
Are you an Angel, too?
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