thedarkerside
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2004 19 January :: 3.15pm
I hate my new schedule it sucks ass. I only like my gym and design class my lunch is ok. Ugh...I hateee schooooll.
Today I donno i was kindof pissed off about somethings...it just makes u question alot of things..
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thedarkerside
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2004 18 January :: 7.11pm
Take me all the wayyyyy...
Arie spend the night lastnight. We hung out at my place eatin pizza and playing Defend Your Castle. Then we watched Freddy Vs. Jason, good movie. It was pretty fun Arie and I havent hung out in a loonggg time.
We talked about redecorating my room in the summer muahahah she can help me. Arieee its going to be fun. lol
I dont want to go to school tomorrowwww arrrggh. LAKE EFFECT SNOW SHOWERS 10-20 INCHES. BUT NO IT CANT COME INLAND CAN IT!!! aarrrrrggggghhh
Oh well, school will be ok. Get to see my new classes and I have math with kyle so its all good.
Later.
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thedarkerside
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2004 17 January :: 1.52pm
interesting...
Went to sams club & kohls today. Will be going to Meijer later....
Possibly have arie over if I get a hold of her. Amy and Arie time with munchies and easy mac..mmmmmm...
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thedarkerside
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2004 15 January :: 7.33pm
Erg, I hate exams. I hateee them so much. All I'm worried about is getting atleast a "decent" grade so I don't get yelled at or grounded. Ugh they are so frustrating.
Tomorrow I have english and health exams. I'm not so worried about my health one..Its english thats going to kill me. I better study my ass off.
My dads being an asshole. Then again, when aren't my parents assholes? I'm going to sign up for drivers training and hopefully get segment 1 and 2 done by october so I can drive. Yay.
today was my last day of civics..no more classes with steph or jesse :-( Atleast i'll still have lunch with Carinna and Jesse. I'm going to miss civcs, that was a fun class. I can't wait until someone gets my civics book with the like moldy lettuce that I stuck in one of the pages for comedic value...ah..funny piece of lettuce.
I hope this semester will be ok. I hope gym is easy and that maybe by the end of the year I will have achieved more of my goals/resolutions
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rachelle
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2004 13 January :: 6.47pm
i think i know whats next
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart."
Psalm 37:4
this is rachelle
signing off
over and out
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thedarkerside
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2004 13 January :: 6.25pm
New Year's Resolutions..
-Let go of somethingthat I once loved...
-Defeat a personal issue
-Escape from shrink
-Eat healthier
-Be healthier
-Find positive prospectives
-succeed with my plan on my 16th birthday...
-Drivers training
-redecorate car
-Meet someone new
-Be swept off my feet
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Tbaby92588
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2004 13 January :: 4.12pm
:: Mood: anxious
Rain falls on everyone, the same old rain.
And I'm just trying to walk with you,
Between the raindrops.
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thedarkerside
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2004 12 January :: 6.11pm
"Let them know its ok to come out now.."
You won't believe what happened. I got to my shrink and I straight up bitched at him and told him that I didn't want counceling and that I want to figure my life out on my own and he discharged me! I can't believe it. I could tell it pissed off my mom. I'm kindof mad that I didn't get to bitch out my mom but oh well, no more fucking councelor. Atleast I have some of my freedom back...
I'm surprised how far alittle acting can go....
I'll fill some in on the details of it all, I can't here, my sister checks my woohu because shes a bitch. Ya thats right I hope she reads this
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thedarkerside
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2004 12 January :: 3.02pm
shrink in an hour.
I've already made plans to bitch him out. I'm going to tell him exactly how I feel about this whole shrink business. and that it's a complete waste of his time and my time. Then I'm going to get home and make my mom cancle going there by telling her I'll shut her completely out of my life if she doesn't. I have to be strong to do this I mean this is like totally new for me, the whole standing up for myself thing. and I'm going to have to understand that there will be consequences for talking to my mom "disrespectfully" or what not and I don't really give a shit because if she makes another apointment I will just tell her I refuse to go.
Today is me declairing my independence....
wish me all your luck. I'm going to need it.
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thedarkerside
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2004 11 January :: 8.09pm
I don't feel 15. I don't feel at all close to 15. Maybe it's because I don't want to be 15. I've been pushing myself to grow up so fast because of my want for independence...more of a need.
This need won't go away until I taste freedom...even though freedom only lurks so far away..
I always have this nervous period before I go to the shrink..then the nervousness turns into fear. I hate going there. No matter how much I laugh and make jokes about it I absolutly hate it. They ask you questions and paint a picture on their own based on what they think. In reality they know nothing about you or your life...it's horrible to be interrigated like that....You feel so small within those walls it's enough to make you go insane. I have to find a way to stop going there.
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