thedarkerside
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2003 22 April :: 8.06pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: none
I love ice water almost more than Theresa.... UTOH!
Today at 4 i was supose to go with Krystal and Julie to Starbucks. No. Mom wouldnt let me. It was 4 pm damnit. Why shouldnt I be able to go. Thats not fair. I never ask to do anything or go anywhere and when I do she doesnt let me then she has the nerve to say "Why dont you hang out with your friends." Fuck that. Fuck her. Thats bull shit. I wanted a carmal frappachino too damnit.
I slept from 3:30 to 7. It was nice. I'm going to like be wide awake though. American Idol is on.
Last night my sister pissed me off. She said she didnt like my poems and she asked "where'd you come up with that". Shes too dumb to understand that poems arent just an assignment they are reflections on your life. Of course she wouldnt come up with that. The thought probably hasnt even crossed her mind. Shes too stupid to see that shes being bluntly rude and she doesnt even realize it . Its her personality. And she wonders why she doesnt have friends.
I'm sick of this shit when am I going to be able to do stuff without having to consent with everyone. Its too damn annoying and I should be able to go where and when I want. Thats what pisses me off. No one cares....no one does. My parents could care less. They are so damn stubborn and not flexible. They are beyond not flexible. They cant even take me anywhere without complaining. Your the parents...you have to take me atleast somewhere .... thats your job. Get use to it. Its not like you've been driving me everywhere my whole life. You havent let me go anywhere to be able to do that. Whenever i'm in the car its on your fucking terms...we're never going where I want to go.
If you were to ask my dad what my favorite color is he wouldnt know.....
If you were to ask my mom who my friends where and what kind of music i like... she wouldnt know....
They dont care...they dont see that they dont even know me anymore.
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Tbaby92588
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2003 22 April :: 7.01pm
:: Mood: So very clever..
:: Music: Mom is listen to Bruch Springsteen.
I am one the most brilliant people you will ever meet. I am going to just sit here and enjoy the ingenius of my schemes for a moment...
...done.
I am to reinforce my one year plan. Curious? It happens. Check out November 29, 2002.
...It won't make sense, but you will have a sense of amusment when you realize you are playing tag with a computer. ;-)
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Tbaby92588
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2003 22 April :: 8.43am
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: None. I'm at school...
Lightsabers/Lifesavers- I love Carinna.
I’m in Science. I can’t think about it very well though. I keep getting distracted. I’m looking at the white board, “I love God!” it says. I love that. It’s good to know. I love him, too.
I’ve just realized that I don’t like people who whisper really loud. A secrete is a secrete and there it goes. It lost what it was worth before it had a chance. Example. “Jossssssshh.” Sick.
45 days till the end of school. 30 school days.
2 days till concert.
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thedarkerside
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2003 21 April :: 7.20pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Aaliyah-I miss you
Today today today...
Today was ok. It was shitty outside and it kindof reflects on my day. Nothing bad really happened. Math was funny because Mr.Cain is old. Science sucked because I have to study tonight and do a worksheet i think? We have a elements quiz tomorrow. I had a section review to do but i copied libby's so i'm done with that. Tomorrow we'll do a hw check then get another section review then next wednesday we have a test and notebooks are do. I need to finish my notebook. L.A. is boring we dont do anything but write. I have to start doing the grammar drawer. Cooking sucks. Have to finish my cooking thingy thats due May somethin. Computer I have to study for a database test Wednesday. So..thats bout it.
School sucks big butts. Kayla and I took a walk down memory lane lastnight and were talking about the good old summer times and all our inside jokes. We were crazy....lol. We still are. I miss hanging out with her.
I need to start writing more poems and storys for mrs.klaes poetry book thing that shes going to publish. I so far have one poem. I threw away the story I wrote. I have to rewrite it ...it didnt say anything to me. I am definatly going to publish the story somewhere around the lines. Its about someone I knew who still goes to our school and how much I miss their friendship. Only the person who I miss will know who they are. Its all going to be like in code kindof...you'll see.
The way I wrote it the first time it was too long and just was a bunch of blah. I'll possibly rewrite it tonight. I'm going to write more poems to..or atleast try!! Most of my poems come out as duds. Damn Duds...mmm..millkkk dudss lol
I forgot I had an ortho appointment today. They gave me a thicker wire...i should have my braces off by this summer or by the beginning of school. YAY NO MORE UGGGLAY BRACES! and i can start using crest white strips. :-D
Waiting for desperation ..
Eyes filled with
this poem thing isnt going to worrrk!
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thedarkerside
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2003 20 April :: 6.49pm
:: Music: none
Newspapers smell like.....potatoes
Next weekend i have to go to a shower. A wedding shower- ehh. I kindof wanted to go. Not really though. My cousin is marrying a snob. Some girl. Some girl who hasnt made an effort to really be ok. Some of the wedding gifts she was asking for was alot of money. Be happy your getting a wedding shower and a wedding.
So now my mom doesnt think our $40 kitchen knives are good enough because Barbs sister got Shannon a rotisarary oven. Those are around like 90$. Not that big of a deal right. Yet my mom complains. Yet she tells me we cant afford for me to go shopping like i previously did alot. Yet she goes out and gets 500$ worth of clothes for herself when she already has her side and my dads side of the closet full of her clothes. She doesnt need anymore. Yet we go on vacation spending atleast 5 grand give or take a few hundred including the plane tickets.
Why does she lie to me.
She has the nerve th ask me to get a job when she knows no one will hire 14-15 year olds.
She complains about our family and how we can never have family because both sides are screwed up. Maybe because that was her doing or her doing in her mind. My family isnt that bad. She forces herself to see something bad that isnt there.
So i dont want to go to the wedding shower but I want to go to the wedding. I have nice shoes that i got and a new dress. Diamond earings & necklace. And a pearl bracelet. Why do i want to go. I dont know ...its my first wedding. Also we will be in Chicago. Chicago has malls. Thats the only reason why I want to go. Malls. That have Delias in them...I love delias. They have nice PJS! and clothes...pjs come before clothes.
Lastnight I had to babysit from 5:30pm-1:30 in the morning. 40$ for 2 kids and a baby. I deserve more lol. But when I got home I watched Maid in Manhattan with my sister till 4 in the morning. That was a good movie. JLo reminded me of the Episode of south park with jLo. That episode made me laugh. "OOOhh beenn...me give you taccoo kisses!" lol
I plan to go tanning non stop this week. I need to get tan for the wedding.
I dont want to go to school tomorrow. School sucks. I need to make a permision slip for the movie in Us History. We're going to the Imax. Wahoo! Any day without us history is a good day. Mrs. Dekrakwhore needs to retire. She has lost too much hip fat...shes as flat as a board and she might just keep loosing hips and her legs will fall off. I get first dips on the first damn leg to fall off!! HEAR ME! lol I want to kick her in the face with it.
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rachelle
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2003 19 April :: 9.17pm
oh what a beautiful mornin...evenin...same thing
ahh, it wouldnt let me finish...gurr, anyway...me and kari saw tumbleweed today! it was awesome....u could go out west and never see one, but u go to lindsay's house and one after the other, they blow past the property line...all of a sudden u hear a crack of thunder and a burst of lightning----- ahhh! STROBE LIGHTS! anywho---- its been a good couple weeks, and um ya...i had a dream last night...that i died...and the only two people that showed up at my funeral were nikki and lindsay...first nikki spoke about how i always reached for the impossible and i never got anything, and lindsay talked about how i was a carrot fanatic......what was funy was that they only spoke to eachoher cuz they were the only ones there, i hope i get more of a funeral then that when i die...luckily it was just a dream...well, i got science paper to write and a poetry booklet to put together...so that was for u, lindsay..luv ya! and i will see u too whitney....only one more week!
::love and prayers::
>>rachelle<<
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rachelle
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2003 19 April :: 9.08pm
do i smell carrots?
(jumping on the tramp)
rachelle: ooo, jst peed my pants
kari: uhhh,
rachelle: this feels so gross!
lindsay: ya it is....at least its rainin, no one will notice
rahelle: I DO!
today: easter egg hunt in a thunderstorm
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thedarkerside
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2003 18 April :: 9.03pm
:: Music: Worlds Most Talented Kid
Nothing..
I feel like writing.... I dont know what though. I'm to preocuiped from watching the damn reality tv shows and the star search ones. I hate reality tv. I only like Real World and Road Rules. They were the original ones..the rest give reality a bad name.
I cant think about anything...whatever i think of comes to a blank. Is something wrong? No. Is there something bugging me? I'm not to sure. Eh. I have to babysit tomorrow. I cant wait until its over with and i get my damn money. Damn kids. lol.
First thing that pops in my head. Theresa. Theresa ....Theresa .... Thersa. How I long for her to be my best friend. She is my best friend. :-D I love Theresa. I've gotten to know her better and I love her. I love hugs.
I got my hair cut :-D
thats all i have to say.
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thedarkerside
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2003 16 April :: 5.01pm
:: Music: Sick of being lonely- Field Mob f. Trina
Whatever tomorrow has in store for me...
School was gay as usual. Theresa made me laugh. She did this shuffle with her feet and would run into the door and try to push it open. It was funny. I think I almost peed. LOL. Uhhh nothing really else happened. Our cake turned out like shit in cooking but the sunglasses were cool lol. Everyone so envied our bunny...and they know it too. I'm tired. I think i'll wear pjs to school tomrrow sounds like a plan to me.
Tomorrow I think i'm going to go with krystal and see if we can get julie to come w/ us to subway then go to starbucks.
Oh yeah that reminds me- Ok...I was going to go out to dinna with krystal tonight and i called my mom and asked her if i could and she was all like "your father and i have already discused this. you arent going out at all this week. you already stayed out late lastnight and monday night so no you cant go." WTF. 9pm isnt late?! Plus I hardly ever go anywhere or actually GET to go anywhere because they wont let me. If they are like that next year I am so not going to take it..I have my own agenda too..they will have to work around it. And why do they have to be so bitchy about it. They could just nicely tell me I cant go. Jeeeeeeeeeez!
Uhh... I dono. I'm downloading music. I've wrote 2 things that i'm going to put in Mrs.Klaes poem book thingy. Ones a poem that I posted in here and the other is an inspirational story. Well. Inspirational to me. Its about how i met someone and how we've lost touch even though we still go to the same school. Those of you who have Klaes will eventually get to read it.
Er. People need to update their journallls!!
lol I g2g i think its dinna time.
I am so going to try to get subway!
TTYL
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thedarkerside
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2003 15 April :: 9.57pm
:: Mood: Fine
:: Music: None
Poem
Tainted Emptiness
The core where I become numb
lost in the darkness of shadows
waiting for a lead
The glass sits empty
cold
untouched
not stained
nor broken
just untouched
The cold gray stone is dropped
chipping away anger
leaves the stone with holes
holes that have no ending
Streams form from anger
sadness
they stain flesh
The glass still stands
touched
taineded
half full
but still unbroken
(c) Amy Baird
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