I feel like I learn more about faith and feel better about faith in my Arabic class than I ever did in my Theology class.
In my Theology class, I was angry and upset that I was supposed to believe what he said I needed to. That I needed to obey the laws he said existed. Laws and rules I didn't think any god cared about.
In my Arabic class, I feel good about this god that I thought was mean and restrictive. I feel good about the world. Every day we have a religious discussion, even inadvertently.
I guess I'm not doing the Catholic thing anymore? I guess I haven't for a while. I like this God guy. I'm feeling things out but I'm a big fan of this non-denominational thing. I just hate religion so much. We'll see where this goes.
::
2008 28 October :: 2.06pm
:: Music: Led Zeppelin - Since I Been Loving You
My dad sent this article to me and some of my uncles today:
http://www.ornery.org/essays/warwatch/2008-10-05-1.html
My response: Looking at the recipient list just now, I found myself playing a game of "one of these is not like the other." I do appreciate the opposing viewpoint though. Mr. Card actually had me for a while, up until he started engaging in the same mean-spirited mudslinging and finger-pointing that he accuses our Congress of. To tell you the truth, I'm still boggled we're having this discussion when it comes to our Congress. The Democrats took it over four years ago and have gotten about as much done as the former occupants. It seems, at this point, we should be able to agree on one thing: that the majority of our elected officials are about as effective as the Detroit Lions (please note that this has been the true for both for approximately the same period of time). I can tell you one thing that your favorite bleeding-heart liberal nephew/son believes: he wouldn't have voted for that bailout plan if he was given the chance. God forbid the lenders (and the homeowners, for that matter) take responsibility for getting us into this mess. Then again, this in some way probably highlights my naive ignorance when it comes to macro-economics... I really gotta take a class in that stuff.
I can tell you one (other) thing though, it's never been a better time to be a poor graduate student living in one of the most expensive urban hubs in the U.S. Economic crisis? What economic crisis?
Oh, by the way, you can't give much credence to anything that Orson Scott Card guy says. He writes sci-fi. I read a book he edited about 'Lost.' Seriously. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orson_Scott_Card What, are we going to start looking to Kurt Vonnegut for political viewpoints now? ;-)
I was talking to a student today who has shown up for only a handful of classes this semester and who is serious jeopardy of not passing if they choose to stick with the class as opposed to withdrawing. I felt like I was taking an empathic, but firm, stance on their performance thus far in the class. Then, after the student left, the instructor after me remarked about how nice I was to the student, and that she is a lot tougher/meaner in those situations. Normally, I would have felt discouraged by that, but I'm finally to a point to where I'm comfortable enough in that it just felt more ironic than anything else. It's true, though... except in very rare cases where they really piss me off, I don't know how to be an asshole. I blame my upbringing for my inability to be a true sonuvabitch while in a position of authority. On the other side, I've been on the other side on the coin for most of my life, and I know, or at least believe, that management by intimidation and outright dick-age doesn't work that well either. Where's that thin line between democratic, authoritarian, and outright pushover? I'm still learning. I guess we all are.
Another question: Where's that line between resolute and stubborn? I've always believed in upholding your values, whatever they may be, but when it comes at the cost of everything else, when do you just give in, mostly because that thing just doesn't matter to you enough to get all bend out of shape over? I know I'm sounding overly dramatic, and it's not meant to be. Once again, this is just me evaluating my own behavior, trying to strike that perfect balance. Funny me, I keep thinking an evenhanded temperament is the true key to an utopian society.
In any event, my stomach is screaming at me. Time to feed the beast.
P.S. The titles for the first six episodes of Season 5 are out, and are as tantalizing as usual. Check them out behind the cut. And if you don't know what show I'm talking about, maybe you should take another look at my journal background.
I just finished the house-cleaning of my Gmail account that's been ongoing for a little while now.
I now have a mere 66 total messages, which has to be an all-time low since I started teaching.
Meanwhile, I have 462 messages in my trash...
I find it amazing that if I go in the hallway of our apartment and walk down all the way to the other end of the building (approximately 50 feet), I can still clearly hear my iTunes playing. And yet, we've never received a complaint about the noise. For that reason alone, I'm not sure I ever want to move.
::
2008 16 October :: 2.34pm
:: Music: Sons and Daughters
To everyone who will never see this:
(This isn't about you. If you think it's about you, it's not. It's about a certain vous.)
Not everyone's religion is your religion. You can't just push your views on me and I can't just push my views on you.
I believe in God. But my god seems to be a little nicer than your god. And if that makes me wrong, or a heathen or whatever, I don't care. I'm living in a happy, nice world with a happy, nice God who loves everyone, where free will means free happiness and where people are happy and love each other. If that's not a world you like, that's fine because it's my world. And I'm happy here.
I just don't understand why anyone would want people to not be happy.
I don't understand how what you do makes you happy. Does judging others make you feel better? Does alienating your friends and family make you happy? If it does, then that's fine. I'd only ever want you to be happy. But if it doesn't? Why do you keep doing it?
Nick's little sister got married last night. She turns 20 in November. As much of a horrible ideas as I thought getting married at that age was, after it all, I am so happy for Jess and Ryan. They obviously love and care for each other quite a bit and share the same ideas and faith. They're both silly and a little ditzy. And besides, people probably think the idea of Nick and I getting married is ridiculous too.
In the end, I had so much fun dancing and dressing up and partying and celebrating with them that none of it mattered. Not waking up at 7 to get my hair sprayed into a fake updo at 8:45. Not getting my makeup done and feeling guilty about Nick's mom spending over 200 dollars. Not the stupid fights we had only weeks before. The only thing that mattered was seeing Jess walk down that aisle yesterday and feeling so happy for her. For everyone.
Lost Character Cup
So, as one of my new Lost-hiatus pastimes, I entered into DarkUFO's (www.darkufo.blogspot.com) March-Madness style tournament where you predict user-favorite Lost characters, and the winner gets a copy of the Season 4 set. They recently finished a similar contest for favorite Episodes, but my predictions were a bit off on that one. I am proud to say, however, that I ended up 33rd (out of 1214 users) for the Character Cup. Alas, I don't have anything to show for it, but it's nice to know I know my Lost characters.
I filled out my app for degree yesterday and Pichot turned it in to the office today. I'm graduating in May. This is the weirdest, scariest feeling I've felt since those four months in France. And I feel bad eating Tums like candy here.
Classes are going okay. Ceramics class sucks because on a scale from one to a lot, I have negative five art skills. And there are art students in class even though the title specifically says FOR NON-MAJORS. GET OUT OF MY CLASS, ART KIDS, YOU'RE MAKING MY BAD ART LOOK WORSE.
French is god-awful. I shouldn't expect a 400 level French class to be not hard but it is terrible. We watched four versions of Madame Bovary and for our test on Monday he expects us to tell all the movies apart by director's name. I cannot tell them apart. There's the French color one, the American black and white one, the French black and white one and the British miniseries. But if you ask me, vrai ou faux, dans la film de Renoir, Léon a cassé la vitre avec son main, I couldn't tell you.
Everything else is okay. Tai Chi is making my legs hurt. 1776 is playing at Civic theatre and I'm planning on seeing it this weekend.
OH! Will.i.am is coming to my school on Sunday. Crazy, right? I am pumped.
