"and it's been a while.."
::sigh:: gotta love staind :) .. so .. it HAS been quite a while since i've written in this dusty old thing.. i dunno.. i just haven't been in the mood.. in fact i dont think i even wrote in here when colin came a few weekends ago... well it was so wonderful seeing him again.. it amazes me how much i love that kid.. like every time i see him it just reminds me of how much i care for him and love spending time with him.. it's so nice.. and u know what's even better? he's comin next weekend.. and the weekend after that.. u know what that means? next weekend is the weekend before valentine's day.. and the one after that is the weekend before our 1 year anniversary.. i still can't believe we've been together for a year... that's so odd... like i think about it and im just like.. wow.. we've been thru a lot though.. like now that i think about it ... gosh i can't wait till the seniors leave.. it'll make my life so much easier.. i wont have to see her anymore... god i swear .. just seeing her makes the rest of my day completely unbearable... everything just goes downhill and i get this sick feeling in my stomach.. it's awful.. haha u know what i should do? hell im part italian.. get the mob on her ass.. haha oh god im such a dork.. im glad not many ppl read this journal cuz im such an idiot haha ... well anywayz.. everything's been going alrite.. hectic.. but alrite.. i just want this year to be over with.. i want high school to be over with.. all this tension and pressure.. i can't deal wit it .. and to top it all off my asthma's been acting up lately.. i had an asthma attack the other day at track practice... it's such a scary feeling.. it's almost like ur drowning and everytime u come up for air somebody shoves u rite back into the water... i can't help but cry everytime i get one.. cuz u just feel like every breath u take is ur last... oh man.. so scary.. like i dont think ppl actually understand how terrifying it is.. to literally not be able to breathe.. but yea i got this new medecine.. i just hope it works... otherwise i have to quit track... hmm let's see what else... man i haven't talked to michael in forever! .. like a month almost.. which is sooo weird cuz we used to talk like every day ... oh well i guess it wasn't that good of a friendship .. kinda makes me sad though cuz he was a good buddy of mine .. like we talked bout a lot of stuff :( .. oh wellz ... ppl change... hell look at george! ... u know i was thinkin bout him the other day and .. man that was such a waste of my time and energy! like .. that was so not a real relationship.. and it sure as hell wasn't love... it felt so real while it was happening though.. i hope i dont someday feel that way bout me and colin... then again i dont think colin would treat me like that ... but w/e... hmm what else is goin on... i have to work tomorrow from 5 30 to 9 45 .. and saturday's latin competition like all day.. agh.. i feel like i have absolutely no free time anymore.. like there's always something i should be doing ... oh wellz ... that's purdy much all i wanted to say.. so nite nite

another day.. another waste of time :P
..hmm i know it's a little late for this seeing as how new years was like a month ago.. but w/e i found this on blondiegirl05's journal and i thought it was really cute :)

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
hmm.. a lot of things ... but i guess the coolest one was going on a 2 week boarding camp at usf.. that was a blast

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
actually... seeing as how i do the whole grapes thing.. we dont really make resolutions as much as we make wishes.. and well at least one of mine came true... i met colin :)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
yep my aunt

4. Did anyone close to you die?
nope.. thank god

5. What countries did you visit?
psh none.. we're so broke :P

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
i'd like to be have more drive .. cuz im so lazy man... it's really a shame haha

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
february 22 :)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
probably going and placing at latin forum and french congres.. oh and losing weight :D

9. What was your biggest failure?
being more wild and crazy.. haha psh that one went down the pooper :P

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
a few asthma attacks.. but eh wat else is new?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
umm... well like besides just clothes.. probably my car.. eventhough i didnt really buy that... but it was bought FOR me ... so it kinda works hehe

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
my mom.. i think she was nicer this year... good

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
ehhl ... her name isn't even worth uttering...

14. Where did most of your money go?
clothes.. and school crap

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
... finding someone i was really happy wit ...

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
lagwagon- brown-eyed girl ... aww.. it will forever make me just.. smile

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner.. woot!
iii. richer or poorer? richer.. heck i have a job now woot!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
seen colin

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
procrastinating

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it in miami wit my family.. it was alrite

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
yea.. actually i did... ::smile::

23. How many one-night stands?
None

24. What was your favorite TV program?
prolly degrassi or law and order: svu .. didnt really watch much tv this year... that's so odd for me

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
yep

26. What was the best book you read?
probably the awakening.. at first.. i didnt really care for it.. but after studying it and really like dissecting all the fine points annd techniques of the novel... i realized it's really a wonderfully-written piece.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
cauterize and matchbook romance

28. What did you want and get?
a serious relationship

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
fifty first dates... :)

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i turned 17... and i got presents from most of my really good friends.. it was actually really nice

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
colin staying in tampa..sigh..

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
haha umm fashion? .. well i had to buy all new clothes cuz i lost weight ... but other than that....i dont really care bout that kinda crap

34. What kept you sane?
music, shilpa, yara, and colin

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
usher... i wasn't all over jt this year hehe im proud :P

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
prolly gay marriages and the election

37. Who did you miss?
... colin... of course... but that's not gonna change...

38. Who was the best new person you met?
well most of the ppl i didnt meet i just got to know them a whole lot better... prolly becca, natalia, tom, michael, and rachael

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
dont ever count on things to stay the same... this world we're livin in is in a constant state of change... so be prepared for anything.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"i've loved like i should, but lived like i shouldn't, i had to lose everything to find out, maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road... i'm moving on.."
--rascal flatts "i'm moving on" .. great song

damn.. wat a kick ass song


Cold
by Crossfade

Looking back at me I see that I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I’m always wrapped up in things I cannot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong like a drug that gets me high

What I really meant to say
Is I’m sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

What I really meant to say
Is I’m sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so

Cold to you, I’m sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You can see me stand on my own again cause now I can see
You are the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high

What I really meant to say
Is I’m sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

What I really meant to say
Is I’m sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

I never meant to be, so cold

I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep it always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me there’s just no hope
I never meant to be so cold

What I really meant to say
Is I’m sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

What I really meant to say
Is I’m sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

aww
"it's not my fault you're the love of my life and i just can't help but buckle at the knees every time you kiss me and look into my eyes..."
-- my baby

i heart cawen :)

aww crappo
ehhl today sucked.. i missed colin even more than usual.. i just wish he were around ... sigh... hw's starting to pile up once again... i have a D in latin... i just wanna sleep... i have to work tomorrow from 11-7.. that really sucks... im in no mood to work.. i hope chris is workin too .. he helps take my mind off how boring and tiring work is ... i gotta ask tomorrow if they can make it so that next weekend i work in the mornings... so i can hang out wit my baby if he comes... god i hope he comes... i miss him so much.. and seeing him again would brighten up my blah-ness... i wont get to talk to him today till like 9.. which sucks... stupid soccer :P hehe ... today was a crappy day.. so i spent like a good hour yesterday straightening my hair and making it all purdy.. i walk out the door this morning.. BAM! giant sheet of rain lands on my head... it was great... god's little kick in the ass.... woot... and then .. i went to the bathroom on my way to my locker... left my purse in there.. didnt realize till i went all the way to Linsin's room.. had to go all the way back to the 500 hall to get my purse... luckily it was still there... i rockedi n history today man.. we're talkin bout cuban independence so im like pumped hehe .. im like WOOT! he's like i know at least ONE person in here's heard of jose marti and i was like YEP YEP! MEEEE! hehe .. he was like how'd i guess :P hehe ... but yea it's cool.. i talked to rafael last nite online .. and u know what? the more i talk to other guys.. like just random conversations... the more i realize just how much me and colin r perfect for each other.. i mean ... wit other guys ... i have to worry bout what ima say .. and i feel all retarded.. but wit colin.. it's like.. i dont care.. it's m ybaby.. he loves me no matter wat i do :D ... and that makes me really happy... it's like... comforting to have someone like that... haha on club day.. last week.. i was talkin to daphne.. and it was the funniest thing! we were talkin bout high school and how her lil brother is gonna go to high school next year.. hehe and she was giving him advice.. and she told him that high school is pretty much the bridge u have to cross to get to college.. that's it's purpose in life.. and it's not just some pretty little bridge wit flowers growing on either side.. oh no my friend.. it's like the faulty bridge shrek and donkey had to cross to get to the castle wit steaming lava under it.. where one false move could mean ur done for... i was like wow.. that is SO true! haha .. i mean honestly.. i think thta if high school's the best years of ur life... ur leading quite the crappy life... i think college is gonna be the best... classes 'll be easier .. cuz hell after ib.. how much harder can it get? ... u take classes a few days a week.. chill the other days... hang out wit friends.. move away from florida ... live far far FAR away from the parents... i mean wat more could u possibly ask for? but all i keep thinkin is .. ok thaimi .. just a year and a half and it'll all be over... i can hang on for a year and a half.. god i can't wait... i want to get the fuck out of my house.. im in hte mood to like go out rite now... i dont know y ... but.. honestly im in the mood to go out wit colin... but eh wat else is new... i miss him so much.. i dont know what it was but man today.. i just kept wishin i'd turn around and see him there... it really sucks... alrite well i should go do some latin hw.. nishant finally came back and translated the word i needed so .. i have no excuse for not workin rite now hehe .. bye everyone..nite

tonite's song: caught up by usher ... could that boy get any hotter? jesus christ! whooo! .. hah and i love how in every single video he finds some sort of excuse to take his shirt off.. haha it's great! ... makes me wanna keep on watchin! ;)

work work.. and then.. oh yea more work!
agh.. this week has been hell.. i just honestly feel like im being pulled in 10 differenet directions... i mean ok ... latin competition, hw, extended essays, latin online (which if i dont do 10 assignments each week for like god knows how long.. ima get an F in and fail!), colin, work, track.... agh man.. u know what i wish i could do? like in those movies where u just kinda snap ur fingers and time just stops... and everyone around u is frozen in time but u can still move and do as u please... aww man that'd be amazing.. i'd give myself like a week's vacation... but it's junior year of ib.. the worst one.. what'd i expect? ... my baby mite be comin in two weeks! aww man that would kick such ass.. granted it's only for a weekend but... aww i hope i get to see him so bad.. aww i miss my baby :( .. hopefully it all works out.. u know what i just realized? .. it's very random so just .. hehe deal wit it. .. well i just realized that im not a big fan of soup... my mommy bought me one of those instant soup cup o' noodles thingies.. and they're quite gross... u know what's kinda weird? .. AND frustrating? .. ok back when i was single.. nobody even like payed attention to me .. it was like "thaimi?.. oh yea that smart girl?" .... but now that im already taken.. it's like .. some opportunities keep poppin up and im just like .. oh so wat.. NOW u wanna hook up? haha ... cuz like i gave inna advice and told her just to stay single for a while and date around and have fun... and she told rafael what i had said.. and he just kinda put his arm around me and was like.. u should take ur own advice... i was like haha no im very happy wit my baby thank u very much... he told megan he thought i was a cute girl :) .. haha i mean i dont wanna hook up wit him.. nor am i gonna.. but still .. it's a nice ego boost.. haha :P ... aww megan has a bf! they're soooo cute together! aww man her and rico r the most adorable thing ever... he's so sweet to her ... aww im so happy for her cuz she's just like the biggest sweetheart.. if anyone deserves it .. it's her... ... pout.. i want really nice abs... this girl at track.. aww man she's got like a six pack! i was like holy cow.. :( i want one! hehe .. im too much of a lazy bum to have one though.. plus i'd have to like give up chocolate and.. let's be real! ... wow michael hasn't called me in like a week... haha but i think that's cuz he has a gf now.. aww im happy for him too! gosh the whole world's hookin up.. it's weird haha ... aww me and colin's 11 month is comin up woot woot! .. almost a year baby! hooray! aww man valentine's day is gonna be a bitch though... agh... stupid couples wit their stupid gifts and ... agh.. stupid distance... ok well i should really go do some hw cuz im sooooooooooo behind... so here's my lil update just to tease ya a lil bit ;) hehe nite nite..

tonite's song: almost perfect by ingram hill .. kind of a weird beat at first.. but .. eh i dig it :)

aww how purdyful :D
im not really into bachata that much cuz it all sounds the same to me but.. i dunno this song is just so sweet.. i can't help but really like it :D

La Pelicula
by Aventura

Romeo speaks:
Hey..por favor no bailen ...escuchen..

Cuando se pierde un amor,
en tu vision y en tu mente Cambia todo.
Todo pierde el sentido. El mundo se vuelve tu enemigo.
Cuando se pierde un amor, todo en absoluto,
absolutamente todo es un peligro.
Cuando se pierde un amor, la lluvia moja tu alma,
y esa nube nublada, sigue tus pasos.

When you lose your love ahhhh

El cielo azul cambia a gris, lo blanco a negro.
Y en el mar en vez de agua lo que hay es fuego.
Por ese amor te pones debil te tumba el viento.
No hay palabras que consuelen tus sentimientos.
Una pelicula de amor es lo que vives,
donde la victima eres tu y te deprimes.
Es un capitulo sin fin sin comerciales,
y si muere la protagonista, muere de amargue.

When you lose your love
When you lose your love
When you lose your love
When you lose your love

Romeo speakes:
Solamente una ves se ama en la vida...te lo dice Romeo.....yeaa

Suve la cancion que quiero llorar....Thas right..Lemme find out...
oohh

Cuando se pierde un amor.
Las lagrimas caen de tus ojos con frecuencia.
Tus pupilas te sirven de testigo que aun lloras por ella.
Cuando se pierde un amor, el dia de enamorados te sientes rechazado.
No hay quien te quiera.
Cuando se pierde un amor, las teclas del piano no suenan,
guitarras sin cuerdas un hombre sin venas.

When you lose your love nahhhh

Veras el sol sin claridad, cambia la ciencia.
Cuando haya frio tendras calor y vice versa.
Aquellas fiestas ya no tienen emocion
y en navidad lloras en un rincon.
No habra pintura ni color para tu arte,
solo un papel sin sentido, sin detalles
y solo tu comprenderas a ese pintor.
Si no me entiendes repite la cancion.

When you lose your love...
Depression days are way of heart...
When you lose your love...
And everything just seems to fall apart..
When you lose your love..
despida te del lindo amor..
When you lose your love..
Y abrale la puerta a el dolor..
When you lose your loooooove..
when you lose your love

whoop dee doo :P
howdy everyone! .. well today was kinda of a roller coaster day... i got my psat scores back.. i did awesome.. im so happy! i got a 1380! .. i got a 74 in critical reading.. a 64 in math.. and a 73 in writing.. i mite even qualify for national merit scholars too! that's awesome cuz that looks so good on college applications.. cuz tiffany told me that like some years the cut off is 210... but other years it's 218 .. .so i dunno.. cuz i got a 211 (btw they get this number by adding up all ur scores.. ie. 73+74+64) .. im so excited though cuz my goal was a 1400 ... and i always thought that was like impossible.. but it just mite happen! .. i just hope i do this well on the actual sat... cuz that would be amazing. but anyways.. then i went to history and the day kinda sucked.. turns out i got a C on my midterm.. the cut off for a B was 69.. and i got a 68.. so i missed it by one percent... which sucks so bad! ..cuz that was literally the diff between me getting grounded.. and me NOT getting grounded.. one measly percent... so yea that really sucks.. but THEN i went to pre calc.. and the test that i was most worried about.. the midterm that i didnt even study for... i got an A on!! i was like OMG! i've never even gotten an A on any of the tests we've taken in that class ever... so yea.. im pretty sure ima still get grounded.. cuz my parents dont really understand the fact that like exams rn't actual quarter grades... so eventhough i still got a B for the semester.. im still screwed... but oh wellz... i guess we'll see what happens.. man it's hot in my house... i just told my mom to put on the air... whoa u know what my mom told me last nite?! .. she said that on my 18th birthday i gotta go to immigration and take my citizenship test.. cuz my residency expires when i turn 18.. and ill be illegal if i dont.. .. that's so weird.. haha i told colin and he was like BABY DONT GET DEPORTED! hahaha ... but yea so ima have to study for that lil test thingy.. cuz like some of the questions r pretty easy but like some of them r like.. name two of ur representatives in the house of reps.. i was like umm.. :/ .. haha but yea ... ok well i've got a french test i need to study for and 56 history terms i need to do so.. ill talk to u guys later.. ntie nite.

tonite's song: lovers and friends by usher/lil jon/ludacris

a whole new year ::sigh::
well it's that time of the year again... where we look back at all the crap that happened... laugh at the good times... regret the bad times... and resolve to make the new year ten times better... i can't remember if i made a journal entry like this last year.. i think i did.. but ima make a list of some new year's resolutions just for kicks..

1. see colin more often.. number one priority..
2. finish off the school year with kick ass grades
3. focus on school a little more
4. be less lazy
5. be happier
6. have a kick ass summer
7. make no enemies
8. meet new ppl
9. hold on to the friends i've made along the way
10. be a good girlfriend... im gonna make this relationship work.. and last.. if it's the last thing i do hehe .. i love my baby..
11. be more honest and blunt... if im mad or upset.. ur gonna know
12. be more active in school
13. keep my job
14. go out more .. take advantage of the fact that i have a car
15. get to see the ppl i met at usf again
16. not disappoint ppl..
17. not gain any weight... haha well there's one that's never gonna happen :P
18. get an amazing score on the sat... there's another one that's not gonna happen.. but hey i can dream rite? hehe
19. be less judgemental
20. and i guess.. just... have a good year all around..

so that's pretty much it .. .. i just hope this year turns out to be a good one.... goodbye 2004... it's been quite a ride. thank u :)

tonite's song: time of your life by green day

howdy ppls :)
hey wats up? .. haha ok so i have now gone to see meet the fockers... FOUR times! haha .. that's rite count em.. 4!! ... colin on the other hand.. has gone to see it 3 times.. and still has yet to actually see the whole fuckin movie haha.. oh wellz hehe ..so yea i got to see my baby today.. i've gotten to see him for the past 3 days.. it's been really nice havin him around again... aww i love having him just like kissing me and huggin me.. it just feels so nice.. it's like aww now i member wat i've been missing out on :) ... aww i love my baby :D he's so wonderful! fuck im worried though.. cuz he was latet comin home today... we couldn't find the car in the parkin lot .. and now im worried that like they wont let us hang out tomorrow cuz like first off.. it's new years eve... so i can only hang out during the day.. and his mom's kinda ticked at him .. i just hope they let us see each other.. cuz we really only have like 2 more dates before he has to go again... fuck that makes me really sad... i dont want him to go.. agh... this is the part i hate the most .. when he leaves... cuz it's really hard rite at first.. when i get used to having him around and then poof.. he's gone.. :( ... aww im gonna miss him so much! .. i just wish he could stay wit me... aww fuck.. i love that kid.. with all my heart... okies u guys well .. i dont wanna get all sad so ima stop.. and i also wanna get in a game or two of scrabble before getting to bed.. yea yea im a loser i know.. leave me alone :P hehe.. nite nite everyone.. happy new year :D .

tonite's song: dale caliente by daddy yankee.. hehe this one's for my baby :D

calling miss thaimi fina :D
how cool! michael just called me from guatemala! haha .. i've never gotten a call from another country before :D ... haha ... ooh and guess what? i went and saw meet the fockers today.. and so did he.. cept he saw it in spanish of course cuz hello.. guatemala... but he has like family there and stuff.. i thought that was so cool that he called me from there.. a little crazy though cuz umm.. can we say high ass phone bill? YES WE CAN! but yea today was a cool day.. i went to the mall... saw someone that used to hate me in middle school... saw meet the fockers... it was hilarious! hahaha! omg that movie was priceless "ass-hoooooooole" hahahahahahhaha! .. and then i bought a pair of pants.. gosh im such a picky shopper man! .. it took me 2 and a half hours to buy a single pair of pants.. cuz not only am i a difficult shape to shop for... but im also cheap.. haha... so yea.. i refused to pay over 30 bucks... and i couldn't find anything that fit rite.. till i went to jc penney.. i found these adorable pants.. aww they're so cute! my baby comes home tomorrow! woot! .. granted i dont get to see him till wednesday but still... im excited :D ... i hope he logs on soon so i can talk to him.. cuz i haven't talked to him since like .. before i went to miami :( ... aww baby log on damnit! hehe.. alritey well that's purdy much all i had to say.. ill update soon. nite.

tonite's song: lo que paso, paso by daddy yankee