"HAHA, PEE PEE!"-- colin
written on the back of a stick on tattoo :
"to remove simply peel off skin"

HAHA that 's the most fucking morbid thing i've heard all day ... me and colin laughed for a while hehe ...

today was fun... me and colin went to chuck e. cheese... we were the first ones there haha ... there was nothing open.. believe me ... we tried it all! ... but yea it was so nice just to spend time wit him.. last nite was nice too.. he went ot the french banquet wit me .. my dress was really cute.. i got it at body shop :D ... hehe aww me and colin matched! my dress was black wit pink trim... and he wore black pants wit a pink dress shirt.. he looked so cute.. i took pics.. i'll post all my pics when i get em developed .. the only scary ass thing bout last nite? ... we went to this library parking lot just like we always do cuz there's never anyone there and we just like to cuddle in privacy hehe ... but yea a cop pulled over and was like wtf r u doing get out of here... we were shitting our pants.. i mean we weren't doing anything bad but still he scared us haha ...colin leaves today :( ... but he'll be here .. in the latest.. in 3 weeks from now.. maybe even sooner.. haha he came to school and everyoen was like wow .. ur bf is hot .. i was like yea i know haha .. aww u guys shoulda seen him last nite .. all dressed up ... he's so handsome :) yummo hehe .. alritey well i gtg to work so i'll be back laterz... nite nite.

tonite's song: superman by goldfinger

thank god it's over and done with
so i did it .. i finally submitted that exhausting application... im so glad i finally finished it ... i did it wit over 20 min to spare... haha ::sigh:: the true art of procrastination... which comes from latin ironically enough... seeing as how that's where i do most of my procrastinating hehe ... but anyways.. yea .. i really hope i get in to that program.. it just seems so perfect for me.. i'll be soo disappointed if i dont.. i think my essays were really great.. im proud of that application. i saved a lot of the essays i wrote for it cuz i think they would be the kind of essays colleges ask in their applications.. but anyways i really should get some rest.. it's almost midnight and im awful tired... and i have to go to work tomorrow at 10: 45 .. which on spring break.. mite as well be 6 o clock in the freakin morning hehe .. nite everyone.. .wish me luck :)

tonite's song: so much by the spill canvas

you know you're having an amazing time.. when ur too busy savoring the moment.. to take out ur camera and capture it forever...
today has been one of the most beautiful days i've ever had.... i woke up at a bout 6 ish.. left for colin's house at 7 30 and got there at 8.. we drove to starbucks.. drank some coffee.. and then just cuddled in my car.... after a while .. we drove to mcdonalds to grab somethign to eat... but omg the weather was absolutely beautiful... it was breezy and sunny... aww man it's like the perfect day to go to the beach.. i wish we could go together... but after we ate i dropped him off at his house cuz i go to work at 2 15... aww man the drive home was sooo nice... i put my windows down.. blasted green day... and let out a huge WHOOOOOOOOOO! every now and then haha... aww man it was so wonderful... the best weather i've seen.. like ever.... im so pissed that i have to go to work.. all i wanna do today is like go to a pool and lay there in the sun wit the breeze.. and wit my baby laying next to me.. that would make today absolutely perfect... but anywayz... im off to work :( ... i hope everyone goes out and enjoys this beautiful day we're having... sigh.... if things go well we'll get to see each other later tonite too... i hope so... :) .... buhz byez :D

tonite's song: Daphne loves derby - part of my past

daphne loves derby rocks my socks <3
Part Of My Past
by Daphne Loves Derby

Make this ride as fast as I can
Tonight this road home feels a little longer
I hope you know that you were my best friend
Tonight I said goodbye, but I should have said more
Thanks for the best time of my life.

Come home, now that you're gone I've finally realized
That you were the best
Come home, I won't forget the times that we had
I'm wishing that you weren't a part of my past

Emptiness swallows this town
From now on I will be alone for good
Will you remember my name?
I'm hoping that I will hear from you soon
Thank you for everything

Come home, now that you're gone I've finally realized
That you were the best
Come home, I won't forget the times that we had
So please don't be a part of my past

-----------------------------------

"If only I'd thought of the right words
I could have held on to your heart
If only I'd thought of the right words
I wouldn't be breaking apart
All my pictures of you"
--the cure--

aww.. so pretty..
So much - The spill canvas

How does it feel to know you're everything I need
The butterflies in my stomach
they could bring me to my knees
How does it feel to know you're everything I want
I've got a hard time saying this
so I'll sing it in a song

Oh I adore the way you carry yourself
With the grace of a thousand angels overhead
I love the way the galaxy starts to melt
When we become one
When we become one
When we become one
When we become one

How does it feel
How does it feel when we get locked into a stare?
Please don't come looking for me
when I get lost in the mess of your hair
How do you feel when everything you've known
gets thrown aside
Never fear, my dear, 'cause we have nothing left to hide

Oh I adore the way you carry yourself
With the grace of a thousand angels overhead
I love the way the galaxy starts to melt

Hold on to me girl
If you feel your grip getting loose
just know that I'm right next to you
Hold on to me girl
If you feel your grip getting loose
Just know that I won't let you down

Well, I'm ready
Well, I'm ready
I am ready
To run away with you
Are you ready?
Are you ready?
Are you ready?
To run away with me

Pack your things we can leave today
Pack your things we can leave today
Say our goodbyes and get on the train
Say goodbye
Just you and I in the sweet unknown
We can just call each other our home

If I had to choose a way to die
it'd be with you
In a goosebump infested embrace
With my overanxious hands cupping your face
In a goosebump infested embrace
With my overanxious hands cupping your cherub face

How does it feel?

lookie it's my baby! :D

aww.... this song made me cry when i first heard it :'(
Remember When
by Alan Jackson

Remember when I was young and so were you
And time stood still and love was all we knew
You were the first, so was I
We made love and then you cried
Remember when?

Remember when we vowed the vows, and walked the walk
Gave our hearts, made the start, and it was hard
We lived and learned, life threw curves
There was joy, there was hurt
Remember when?

Remember when old ones died and new were born
And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged
We came together, fell apart
And broke each others hearts
Remember when?

--- Instrumental ---

Remember when the sound of little feet, was the music we danced to week to week
Brought back the love, we found trust
Vowed we never give it up
Remember when?

Remember when thirty seemed so old
Now lookin' back, its just a steppin' stone
To where we are
Where we've been
Said we do it all again
Remember when?

Remember when we said when we turn gray
When the children grow up and move away
We won't be sad, we'll be glad
For all the life we've had
And we'll remember when.

Remember when?

Remember when?...

oh poopy..
so it's official... colin's spending his summer in spain... i wrote an entry bout our summer and how things weren't workin out but i decided to delete it ... just cuz .. well i dont know ... i was mad and confused and i just wrote it to kind of organize my thoughts... this was a few days ago btw... but anyways last nite .. colin told his dad that since we couldn't find anything.. to go ahead and register him for the language immersion program in spain... that's such an awesome opportunity.. he's gonna love it.. im so excited for him.. i just wish i could go with him.. or we could have found something just as awesome that we could do together.. but w/e... things dont always work out the way u want them to... the good news about all this? it certainly put my ass back in gear... im 3/4's done with the quest application (15 pages) ... all i need are 3 essays, a photo, and a transcript... i've registered my recommenders and filled out all the basic info.. and done about 15 short answer questions.. its' a cool app though.. like u can tell they're really looking to get to know u as a whole individual.. they asked stuff like what kind of music do u like.. and what's ur greatest sense of inspiration .. and what makes u happiest.. and what's ur favorite keepsake.. just little things like that ... it's not ur usual... tell me why we should accept u .. so it's really refreshing.. i really like it. i hope i get in... it just seems like the perfec t opportunity.. if i dont however... im thinkin of just signing up for college classes at hcc... during the summer... i may have to quit my job if i get into that program though.. cuz it's 5 weeks... but maybe i can work something out.. i dunno i'll have to talk to my mom and stuff... we went to islands of adventure monday... it was such a blast... it was a much needed "vacation" from ib... i loved it... oh yea i have a track meet tomorrow.. and on saturday too.. wish me luck everyone :D ...but yea i just realized american idol is playing so i gtg... nite nite everyone :)

tonite's song: ironic by alanis morissette ( i think that's who sings it.. :/ )

yankee doodle went to town... :D ... (this has absolutely nothing to do with the post btw haha)
hey everyone :) ... guess what?! my baby's coming this weekend woot! hehe aww hooray! ... u know what's weird? i've been gettin calls lately from ppl i haven't talked to in forever.. like the other day spanish guy called me... and he was like.. oh i just wanted to know how u were doin and stuff.. it was really sweet of him... and pretty damn ballsy if u ask me cuz our breakup was akward... and then michael called me last weekend... turns out the reason he hadn't called me all this time. . was cuz he had strep throat and he was like bed ridden for 3 weeks.. that poor kid... im so glad he's ok ... that's some scary shit man... but yea so we're back to talkin again.. which is nice cuz i've kinda missed talkin to him.. he's a good buddy of mine u know? .. although i gotta admit .. he's not as innocent of a person as i thought he was... i mean good god.. am i the only sober virgin out there? .. i feel like im the only one.. i really do... but w/e.. i mean it's n ot like that bugs me it's just.. its kind of weird that no one cares about those things anymore... but w/e... school's goin alrite... i got into states for latin competition... so that's awesome.. and our islands of adventurer field trip is next week.. that should be a blast... me and colin's 1 year is less than a week away... that's so scary... well scary isn't the word... i guess what im trying to say is that ... my whole heart is into this relationship now that we've been together for so long and ... if anything were to happen where we would break up... i'd be absolutely crushed... u know... somemtimes i wish i could tell the future.. i wish i knew where i waws gonna be 10 years from now and with whom... i guess there wouldn't be much fun or suspense that way .. but at least i would know not to waste my time wit certain ppl or to assure myself that this is the real thing... agh .. life's weird...im really sleepy ... i gotta put gas in my car tomorrow mornin.. which means i gotta get up earlier.. which means less sleep for thaimi fina.. which means.. a cranky cuban will be on the loose.. lock ur doors ladies and gentlemen... :P hehe.. alritey well i should go cuz now im just blabbering... nite nite.

tonite's song: yesterday by mest

"love is when the thought of coming home to him.. makes the whole day worthwhile.."
on my way to colin's house today.. i saw a billboard. it was advertising some jewelry store who's slogan was irresistable and perfect... or unique.. one of those two... but anyways... with red permanent marker someone wrote .. "hey Tina You're" before the "irresistable and perfect" part of the billboard... and then after it they wrote.. will you marry me? --C.W. ... i thought that was the sweetest thing.. some chick named Tina must be having a kick ass day today... that's gotta be the sweetest valentine's day present i've ever seen.. ::sigh:: .. happy valentine's day everyone .. good night.

the only good thing about all this is that she's staying in miami for 15 days..
agh wtf.. so i get home today and my mom tells me .. so i have good news and bad news.. im like what.. and she goes well the good news is that i dont have to stay in miami untill monday.. the bad news is that u have to come sincei t wont iterfere wit school now.. i was like wtf! colin's coming this weekend.. we've made plans for like 2 weeks now .. this is what i've been looking forward to for god knows how long.. and i fucking refuse to let u take that from me.. im sorry .. u just can't ... thats not even what ticked me off the most.. so my mom's telling me all this shit and of coursem y grandmother's nosy ass is rite next to her .. and agh she's so fucking annoying.. i was like but mom colin's coming this weekend... before my mom even fucking answers my grandma says "oh well!" .. so that ticked me off but u know what?.. i took it .. then my mom says that she refuses to le ave me in the house alone for the weekend .. at which point my grandma decides to repeat the same fucking sentence to me as if i hadn't heard it .. because im deaf as u all know .. and hearing it twicei s just soo much more fun :D .. so yea that sort of shit kept going on and on for like a good 5 min.. where my mom would say something my grandma would tell me the same shit rite after .. i would bitch.. then my mom would say something.. my grandma would repeat it .. once again as if i hadn't heard it already.. so it honestly got to the point to where i was like "YOU KNOW WHAT?! WAS I TALKING TO U? OK THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!" agh she just fucking ticked me off so much.. i mean i was already fucking angry enough and she wasn't fucking helping!! to which of course my grandma went off on a fit about how much she's done for me... she measures everything by money i swear.. it's like.. remember that one time i payed for this and that.. it's like.. ok but yea remember all the other fucking times that you've called me a lazy good-for-nothing parasite.. and a disrespectful bitch... who could... what was it?.. oh yea could die and fall off the face of the earth for all u care.... oh rite.. but that's not whats important.. it's those 20 bucks u payed for some field trip of mine in the 3rd grade.. of course.. of course... agh! but w/e at that point i had more things on my fucking mind than her bitchy ass self... the way things were going.. i wasn't gonna fucking get to see colin this weekend and i was gonna be fucking stuck in miami all weekend long... so after crying till my eyes physically hurt and bitching at my mom for having absolutely no fucking trust in me when i have done nothing to not deserve it .. i finally realized that was gonna get me nowhere and that i needed to find a way to where i would not be alone in the house this weekend... my last hope was my crazy aunt.. who had told my mom she didnt wanna stay with me cuz i'm "annoying" .... well so i called her up.. still in tears mind u .. and told her that i didnt want to have to give up my plans and that she was my only hope for not going to miami.. she finally decided she would stay wit me .. so i gave the phone to my mom so she could hear it herself.. and just as i do that.. my grandma comes out and says oh wtf she said SHE was gonna talk to her .. and yet she puts U on the phone to talk to her.. i was like wtf! u weren't even fucking here.. I DID TALK! ... agh! .. and then as my mom's walking around the house holding on to the phone and workin things out wit my aunt.. my grandma's yelling out so my aunt could hear .. "she's only gonna go out in the morning.. ur gonna be stuck with her allll day! ur gonna have to put up wit her bullshit all fucking day! is that what u really want?!" . . . i was like SHUT THE FUCK UP! STOP TRYING TO RUIN MY FUCKING LIFE! JUST CUZ URS IS A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR LIVING DOESN'T MEAN MINE SHOULD BE BITCH! ... agh she made me so fucking mad i wanted to throw something at her.. it's like stop trying to jeopardize my shit.. my mom's fine with it and last time i checked her decision was the only one that held any importance whatsoever so go suck a dick bitch... god i hate that woman... and to top it all off my mom was like go tell her im sorry.. i was like wtf is the point ima say im sorry and she's gonna say i dont give a fuck.. and my mom was like go say ur sorry or ur not fucking going anywhere this weekend... so i walked my ass over there.. said im sorry... and walked out as all sorts of curses and yelling was directed towards me ... "hell the fuck no! i dont give a shit if ur sorry! to me ur fucking dead! get the hell out of my face you ungrateful bitch" ... sigh..oh the wonderful joy that is family :D

:|
"And I never should have kissed those lips before,
I never should've let you out my door,
But now I'm stuck here with your photograph."
--photograph by action action

-- the beat's kinda freaky but the lyrics r kick ass
------------------------------------------------------

Closing Down The Pattern Department by Daphne Loves Derby

hey did you hear about my mistakes
i never thought you'd see me looking down
and even though i made a mess of everything you made for me
all along you were there
waiting like you said you always would
yeah you said you always would

we dont have to wait for anything at all
now that i've learned this fool will never learn a thing
and i can't believe that you would send your love to me
now even though i don't deserve it

forgive me but i can't be everything you deserve
and i know it's too late to crawl back to you tonight
but there's a few things that i just need you to know
like the way i felt when you were close
and how the stars exploded every time you are near
and all along you were there
waiting like you said you always would
yeah you said you always would

we don't have to wait for anything at all
now that i've learned this fool will never learn a thing
and i can't believe that you would send your love to me
now even though i don't deserve it

i am so far i couldn't see
that you make every day so sweet
all along you were there
waiting by my side
all along you were there
waiting by my side

we don't have to wait for anything at all
now that i've learned this fool will never learn a thing
and i can't believe that you would send your love to me
now even though i don't deserve it
yeah you love me even though i don't deserve it
you love me even though i don't deserve it

just thought i'd post some songs i'm currently obsessed wit hehe :P
"Hey There Delilah" - plain white t's

hey there delilah
whats it like in new york city
im a thousand miles away
but girl tonight you look so pretty
yes you do
time square cant shine as bright as you
i swear its true

hey there delilah
dont you worry about the distance
im right there if you get lonely
give this song another listen
close your eyes
listen to my voice its my disguise
im by your side

oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
what you do to me

hey there delilah
i know times are gettin hard
but just believe me girl
someday ill pay the bills with this guitar
we'll have it good
we'll have the life we knew we would
my word is good

hey there delilah
ive got so much left to say
if every simple song i wrote to you
would take your breath away
id write it all
even more in love with me youd fall
we'd have it all

oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me

a thousand miles seems pretty far
but they've got planes and trains and cars
i'd walk to you if i had no other way
our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
that none of them have felt this way
delilah i can promise you
that by the time that we get through
the world will never ever be the same
and youre to blame

hey there delilah
you be good and dont you miss me
two more years and youll be done with school
and ill be makin history like i do
you know its all because of you
we can do whatever we want to
hey there delilah heres to you
this ones for you

oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
what you do to me

--------------------------------------

if all else fails - matchbook romance

A subdued silence undisturbed by the sound of her breath.
So carefully, brush her hair back from her eyes
In steady sequence, one by one.
She slips away.

So close your eyes and sleep to dream.
I'm by your side.
No words to speak.
We'll set our course and make it through.
No matter how far I go my heart remains with you.

And I'm not sure what I'm looking for.
But it's clear to see the purpose of my exsistance Is laying here in front of me.

So close your eyes and sleep to dream.
I'm by your side.
No words to speak.
We'll set our course and make it through.
No matter how far I go

And if all else fails you can look up at the sky
Because it's the same one that shines above you and I.
And if all else fails you can close your eyes
And I'll be right beside you.
I'll be the one by your side.

So close your eyes and sleep to dream.
I'm by your side.
No words to speak.
We'll set our course and make it through.
No matter how far I go
No matter how much this hurts
I wanted you to know,
My heart remains with you.

--------------------------------------

It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friends
by Bright Eyes

Yeah, you still kiss me, but it's just on the cheek
Yeah, you still kiss me, but it's just on the cheek
Yeah, you still kiss me sometimes, but it's just on the cheek
You pull away so easily

And I still call you, but I get your machine
And I still call you, but I get your machine
And if I'm lucky I guess, I get your roommate answering
But you're at the bar, or at Gene's

And we go to dinner, but you won't hold my hand
We sit at the same table, but we don't play with our feet
Yeah, we still go to dinner sometimes, but we don't sneak a kiss
When the waitress turns around

And we still watch movies, but we don't share the couch
And we still rent movies, but we don't share the couch
Yeah, we still watch movies sometimes, but you don't lay in my lap
The plot is slow, take a nap

And you even stay over, but now we stay in our clothes
Yeah, you'll even sleep over, but now we stay in our clothes
Yeah, you even sleep over sometimes, but we stay in our clothes
I'm only there so that you're not alone

And you say that I hurt you, in a voice like a prayer
Yeah, you say that I've hurt you, and your voice is like a prayer
Yeah, well maybe I hurt you sometimes, but let's contrast and compare
Lift up your shirt, the wound isn't there

I guess that your truth, is just the ghost of your lies
I guess your kind of truth, is just the ghost of your lies
Yeah, your kind of truth, darling, is just the ghost of your lies
I see through them all the time

So I'm pouring some whiskey, I'm gonna get drunk
Yeah, I'm pouring myself some whiskey, I'm going to get really fucking drunk
I'm pouring some whiskey right now, I'm going to get so, so drunk
That I pass out, forget your face, by the time I wake up

---------------------------------

Best Of Deceptions
by Dashboard Confessional

I heard about your trip.
I heard about your souveneirs.
I heard about the cool breeze in the cool nights
And the cool guys
That you spent them with.
I guess I should have heard of them from you
I guess I should have heard of them from you

Don't you see, don't you see,
That the charade is over?
And all the best deceptions
And the clever cover story awards
Go to you.
So kiss me hard cause this'll be the last time that I let you.

You will be back someday,
And this awkward kiss that tells of other people's
lips
Will be of service
to giving you away.

I heard about your regrets.
I heard that you were feeling sorry.
I heard from someone that you wished you could
Set things right between us.
I guess I should have heard of that from you
I guess I should have heard of that from you

So don't you see, don't you see,
That the charade is over?
And all the best deceptions
And the clever cover story awards
Go to you.
So kiss me hard cause this'll be the last time that I let you.

You will be back someday,
And this awkward kiss that screams of other people's
lips
Will be of service
to giving you away.
to giving you away.

I'm waiting for blood
To flow to my fingers
I'll be all right when my hands get warm.
Ignoring the phone,
I'd rather say nothing,
I'd rather you never heard my voice.
You're calling too late,
Too late to be gracious.
And you do not warrant long good-byes.
You're calling too late,
You're calling too late.