A Silly Little Blog for A Silly Little Girl

:: 2004 17 February :: 5.49pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: nada....some spanish channel my grandma's watchin in her room

updating time...
howdy! well...haha u know what i've noticed? for a while now all of my entries have just been bout colin....oh wellz today'll be no exception...we were in physics and he got moved next to me for the day and we were workin on this worksheet and in the book there was this pic of these ppls skydivin and he's like thaimi look that's u and me sat. nite i was like haha ya rite and he's like yea we could hold hands haha i was like rite....and i was like wat if i die?! and he's like ill die wit u and i was laughin and he's like jokin around and goes......yes it would be romaantic hehe like in a sarcastic voice and then we were walkin and some girl like rammed into me (didnt even say srry btw!) and then i was like ow! and he's like...aww r u alrite? i was like awwww what a cutie.....so ya he was actin really cutiefully......omg u guys member how i told u spanish guy was kinda askin me out the other day....well today he was like tryin to flirt wit me and he's like "so what do u feel bout me?" and i go....uh im not sure what i feel for u anymore....(cuz i didnt wanna like just come rite out and say...oh no i dont like u).....so ya he's like what? and im like ya....i mean it's been a long time since we've talked...feelings change.....and he's like do u have a bf rite now? and im like nope im not with anyone rite now...(which TECHNICALLY...im not) hehe and then he's like do u like anybody? and i just go....eh....hehe and he's like oh so just a couple here and there....i was like sure.....hehe in my head i was like NOPE JUST ONE! hehe but ya....then he like left the classroom without even saying bye...he looked all depressed and stuff i was like awwww...poor thing....but u know?! it's his fault anyway! he's the one who broke up wit me in the first place! oh wellz....i can't wait till next weekend....im so scared my mom won't let me go...hehe i told colin that and he's like...if she says no ill go over there and "convince" her..i was like eeew i dont wanna know! hehe....que ca-ute as yarita would say......OOH IM SO HAPPY FOR SHILPA! THE GUY SHE LIKES WAS LIKE PUTTING HIS ARMS AROUND HER TODAY! he was like flirtin wit her.....so yay! and he told his friend that she's hot......im so excited for her! hehe....ima find out the rest of what happened, ma�ana...we'll see i guess....alritey buhz byez ppls

tonite's song: falls on me by fuel

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:: 2004 17 February :: 5.39pm

fuck people...but other than that..i felt pretty today...dont ask...hehe arg but people....but you gotta love them..hehe whatever

man i love this song.......

Echo
by Trapt
Close my eyes
Let the whole thing pass me by
There is no time
To waste asking why
I'll run away with you by my side(x2)
I need to let go(x4)
of this pride

I think about your face
And how I fall into your eyes
The outline that I trace
Around the one that I call mine
A time that called for space
Unclear where you drew the line
I don't need to solve this case
And I don't need to look behind

close my eyes
let the whole thing pass me by
there is no time to waste asking why
i'll run away with you by my side (x2)
i need to let go(x4) of this pride

Do I expect to change
The past I hold inside
With all the words I say
Repeating over in my mind
Some things you can't erase
No matter how hard you try
An exit to escape
Is all there is left to find

Close my eyes
let the whole thing pass me by
there is no time to waste asking why
i'll run away with you by my side (x2)
i need to let go(x4) of this pride

untill this echo (x4) in my mind
untll this echo (x4) can subside"

so I close my eyes
let the whole thing pass me by
there is no time to waste asking why
I'll run away with you by my side (x2)
I need to let go(x4) of this pride

untill this echo (x4) in my mind
untll this echo (x4) can subside

:: 2004 16 February :: 4.49pm

hmm i feel like shit now...im all emo...my sister has officially made me feel shitty...there goes my actual week of light...she starts talking shit how im ugly and how horrible i am...she is like aww poor me...everyrthing is horrible for me...man whatever she is a reject...hmm the depression comes back.....

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:: 2004 16 February :: 3.45pm
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: number 5 on the DC cd

aloha
i just had the bestest convo wit colin....he's so cutieful....haha it was hilarious....i did 10 entries on my timeline.....10 more to go....and physics hw....and physics studyin....and dbq.....ooh wellz...ill freak out about that laterz....rite now im happy! i dont care what ppls said bout him......i think he's changed...and even if he hasn't i'd rather make my own assumptions bout him...rather than follow that of others..okies gtg buhz byez

song: this love by maroon 5

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:: 2004 16 February :: 10.43am

poem i found on this forum i go to...i dig it
For A Moment

The coach moans through the drizzle.
A coke can rattles in the aisle.
Your tears stream down the window
And you've cried for one more mile.
I know you travelled there alone,
You thought no-one would care.
I can't explain, but for a moment I was there.
Reflected in the window
I was staring back at you.
I don't know why,
But I was crying too.

I wonder what you left behind
That lies so heavy on your mind.
Where d'you plan to run to next?
And what do you hope to find?
Perhaps you had the need to run away from it all
Drop everything and fly away?
Maybe you're waiting for a prince to come and take you to the ball?
Maybe in time you might come back this way again.

The sun cuts through the clouds.
The tarmac glistens through the spray
And paints a rainbow
That follows you till it fades away.
You've got your world packed in a rucksack,
Though your heart is in a mess,
I don't know why, but for the moment
I can guess.
This road is leading nowhere,
Though your thoughts are calling home.
The coach is full, but for the moment you're alone.

I wonder what you left behind
That lies so heavy on your mind.
Where d'you plan to run to next?
And what do you hope to find?
Perhaps you had the need to run away from it all,
Drop everything and fly away?
Maybe you're waiting for a prince to come and take you to the ball?
Maybe in time you might come back this way again.

And now the traffic is at a stand-still.
It's time to dry your eyes.
Time to look into your heart
And tell me where it truly lies,
Because I can't go on forever
Pretending it's not true:
I don't know why, but for the moment
I love you.
You sailed across the water,
I stood staring out to sea
And I knew for just a moment
You loved me

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:: 2004 15 February :: 8.21pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: finch

Hmm...condoms...hmmm tasteful...hmmm feathers....
well well well

i just thought a lot today about a lot of things...well we all live to die....i know obvious...but i mean why live now...whats the point if living when we are all going to die and then go somwhere where we dont know...do we remember what happens in our life...i doubt it...we all go through hell and happiness and moments and few loves and blah blah...wahts the point of all taht...hmm die...hehe i just think life is pointless...why bother living...its not like im going to kill myself...i got to see what happens i guess...see whats the point of life...whats the point of everything...i just dont want to die right now i guess...i do but then i dont...i need answers really bad...like why are we here...what are we all doing...does our actions really count...where do we go after we die...do we remember...do we get recarnated...just a bunch of shit...bunch of questions...and bunch of bullshit i guess...thats what we live for bullshit...bullshit that solves nothing...life is nothing...hmm...

new topic...im scared to live...i dont think ill ever get married and have kids....i dont trust anyone at all...just the fact of love and what it means...i dont get it...another useless thing...love gets you no where...you can love somone so much but it doesnt work..whats the point of loving them then..i just dont want to hurt anyone i guess...thats going to be life story...the women who doest take chances because she is too scared...so im the crazy lonely lady that lives on the corner with lots of cats...i mean a lot of people have told me that im going to live with a lot of cats...i dont know why...im going to end up with nothing in life but myself and a career...because i wont find someone...thats me for sure...i just dont like risks and chances and i dont trust things...hmm means im fucked doesnt it...plus ill end up hurting someone...dont want that on my chest...i just dont know...i cant get close to anyone ethier...when i do i run and hide in a corner...the idea of being close and actually caring for someone scares the fuck out of me...i dont know...i noticed i say that a lot...i guess i know nothing...hmm im used to that...

on to another topic...i talked to alex a lot today...hmm we have been close again...yea me and him have lots of history and stuff during 8th grade and freshman year...now he comes over like every other day and we just chill...he is a great guy...my mom thinks he is in love with me...cause he keeps tryin to hit on me and stuff...and trys to kiss up to my rents...and my mom told me that he has some look for me like i love her or something...im like aww...yea he tells me im beautiful all the time...i mean im just sitting there looking like a mess and he just tells me that...im like awww...he is a sweetheart...i just didnt expect me and him back to be being friends and stuff...cause we drifted for a bit then i saw him at the fair and the next day he shows up on my doorsteps and then the next day breaks up with his girlfriend...he asked me last night what i think about him and i just couldnt answer...im a scardy cat...i dont know we are getting too close and stuff...it worries me like crazy.;..thaimi thinks i should dump marcos for alex but i cant do that...i dont know.l..like i said before i didnt expect this stuff to happen...and like right now i miss him for dumb reason...i just dont get it...i dont get him...i mean i speak to him on the phone and he just knows when im smiling and he tells me things and its like aww...i dont know how you can tell when a person is smiling on the phone...its odd...well i guess im going to go...lots to read...lots of thinking here...so bye bye...hopefully ill write again...i really dont knw anymore...lets see where life takes us...hehe bye

quick update...thaimi made comment about lobster...hehe look..its soo cute...referring to alex btw...i just dont know anything...yup thats me...
EmoAndAlone16: my lobster?
babaloo181: well lemme tell u
babaloo181: pheobe was talkin bout ross and rachel
babaloo181: and she was like they have to be together cuz hes her lobster......and she said that lobsters only have one mate for the rest of their life....they have other ones.....and then they meet one.....and that one lobster is the one they r meant to be with....that one lobster is the lobster that understands them and loves them....and cares for them......and she said that lobsters all grow old wit the same mate..
EmoAndAlone16: man i think alex is my lobster...thats the sad thing
babaloo181: no that's a great thing....and the thing is....no matter whether u break up wit marcos now or not....he's always gonna be rite there....cuz if he truly is ur lobster...it'll just work itself out

now look waht jerrica tells me:
Venubian424: there is a certain type of penguin who go their whole lives waiting for that other penguin so that they can make love and once they see eachother they just know and stay todgether their whole lives

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:: 2004 15 February :: 8.11pm

well there's an eye-opener..
just found out some things i didnt know about.....and now im not so sure i prefer knowing.....wow appearances sure can be deceiving...i mean u hear ppl talk....but u just assume...more like hope..the rumors are all crap...but this time...i dont know what to think anymore...i dont wanna get my heart broken again....agh...

..reminded me of this poem...so cute

I hate the way you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind
I hate you so much it makes me sick
It even makes me rhyme
I hate it - I hate the way your always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
Even worse when you make me cry
I hate it when you�re not around
And the fact that you didn�t call
But mostly I hate the way I don�t hate you
Not even close
Not even a little bit
Not even at all

:: 2004 15 February :: 11.26am

fuck this shit...go to hell mom..u know if ur trying to make my life a living hell? congratulations you have succeeded.

:: 2004 14 February :: 8.16pm

i read this on a friends journal entry and its soo true and pretty and here it goes:::

you can look at a person's life and keep record of it, almost like a journal, and see how much they change in just a few months. it's horrifying. you look at someone, happy and content and slowly they fall into something so deep and dark. then you're at the part where you're watching them try to drag themselves out of it. it's insane.

isnt it amazing...hehe yea...i guess we are all like that at one point...which sux

well i just wanted to update with this...this is a lil piece of convo me and my friend had...im emo and jerrica is venubian...its my brilliance...hehe im soo smart...
EmoAndAlone16: hehe thats cool....i just thought of something....you know how suppsodely you loose 200 calories when you orgasm during sex
Venubian424: yeah
EmoAndAlone16: well if you masturbate and orgasm do you loose 200 calories
Venubian424: iwouldn't know cuz a woman does not always orgasm when she has sec
EmoAndAlone16: hehe wow i didnt know that....man cause then i want to take up the art of masturbation if i could loose 200 calories
Venubian424: is it the same for guys?
EmoAndAlone16: i dont know i think so....

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:: 2004 14 February :: 2.02pm

wonderful example of my astounding intelligence...hehe
babaloo181: DONT ME INTIMIDATED BY MY SOPHISTICATED INTELLECTUALITY!
Crazystingaree06: do u mean be?
babaloo181:....oh yea....

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:: 2004 14 February :: 12.04pm

everyone needs to stop using others just for a peice of ass...............

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:: 2004 13 February :: 7.38pm
:: Mood: flirty
:: Music: number 6 on the staind cd

happy happy joy joy....*runs around frantically*
wellz today was another great day......it was valentine's day...type thing....not really but at school it kinda was....well it was a lil nauseating cuz omg everyone at school was walkin around wit like giant balloons and teddy bears and roses.....and me? EMPTY-HANDED!....hehe but that's ok cuz other than that it was a GREAT day. well today at lunch colin and i decided we were gonna go out next weekend....he's so cute.....hehe we mite go bowling. he wants to play poker..hehe so he mite just bring the poker set and we'll play at the bowling alley cuz he knows im not allowed to go to his house to play poker...but i dunno we'll see. aww u know what shilpa told me he said? well the other day shilpa was tellin him bout how she's havin poker nite at her house this weekend......and shilpa's like ya everyone's gonna be there and she mentions me last ... she's like oh yea and thaimi's gonna be there..and he goes....oh then i mite drop by if i can.....hehe yay.....then she told me that today as me and adam walked away from colin and her .. he told her "aww now all the fun is gone" and she's like y's that....and he goes cuz adam's cool.....and she looks at him and goes really?...haha in this sarcastic voice like yea rite that's y....and he's like....yea but thaimi's cooler.......im so excited.....i can't wait till next weekend. i wanna know what's gonna happen.....i haven't even asked my mom....watch her not let me go.....agh i'd be so angry...im purdy sure she will though....yay! haha today in eng we made valentine cards...haha i made shilpa one...omg it was sooo cute i said "STEP AWAY FROM THE DUCK!" and i drew this huge purdy duckie...heheh...btw u guys wont get it....inside F.R.I.E.N.D.S joke..so ya..hehe alritey well im outta things to say so ill see ya guys manana..buhz byez

tonite's song: walked outta heaven by jagged edge

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:: 2004 13 February :: 3.47pm

dudettes and dudes...today was a first for donna it was fun...im tired and i got a lot more coming...jen is here...so i cant really talk much and alex will call soon and come over...he is my buddy...i dont know we are soo close that i can be donna around him...i dont know...it just takes me a REALLY long time to get confy with a guy to be like that...but whatever...tahgt usually gets me into trouble...well well well...my dad gave me 50 bucks for v-day so i can get cloths...oh score...cloths for me...hehe...i want some pants from ae and some shirts i guess...dont know ill spend it tonight when me and everyone else go walking around for like 2 hours and a half....hehe whoo hoo..party in my panbts...my arm itches....i got to go bye bye bye

:: 2004 12 February :: 6.43pm

lyrics to tonite's song and this other song that's awesome as well
You'll Think Of Me
by Keith Urban

I woke up this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been trying my best to get along
But that's okay there's nothing left to say but

CHORUS
Take your records, take you freedom
Take your memories, I dont need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So

(Repeat chorus)

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life

(Repeat chorus twice)

And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday

--------------------------------------------------------

I Can't Be Your Friend
by Tim Rushlow

This might come as quite a shock,
But I've given it a lot of thought.
This thing that's come between us can't be ignored.
I've taken all I can;
This is where it's gotta end.
'Cause I can't be your friend anymore.

An' I can't be accused,
Of not bein' there for you.
How many nights have you shown up at my door?
I hope you understand,
That this wasn't in my plans,
But I can't be your friend anymore.

An' it's killin' me to know you,
Without havin' a chance to hold you.
An' all I wanna do is show you,
How I really feel inside.
You can run to me,
You can laugh at me,
Or you can walk right out that door.
But I can't be your friend anymore.

Instrumental break.

So, baby, now it's up to you:
Do I win or do I lose?
Will my heart fly or lie broken on the floor.
Well, take me as I am,
'Cause I wanna be your man.
But I can't be your friend anymore.

An' it's killin' me to know you,
Without havin' a chance to hold you.
An' all I wanna do is show you,
How I really feel inside.
You can run to me,
You can laugh at me,
Or you can walk right out that door.
But I can't be just friends anymore.
We can't be just friends anymore.