:: 2003 5 June :: 11.20 pm

Well I hung out with Rob and Matt Catino(?) one night. I never mentioned that. We went to Delray Beach and back to Robs house.

Umm another night Nicole Adams came over. We called Sean and he was with his friends Billy and Will. Neither of them which I knew. They came over to pick us up without Sean. I thought it would be awkward bc I didnt know either of them and I certainly didnt want to drive around with them but we all talked in my driveway for a good 30+ minutes. We drove to Delray Beach (again) and then to Wills house to switch cars. Theyre really funny. Billy is really cute and Will --yup, he does look like a noottzee (has no clue how to spell--sounds it out).

Hm Yesterday (wed) mom still had the tube in her. They moved her to a real room. They stuff comming out looked like pea soup.

Today mom got the tube taken out of her. The steriods seem to be working. YAY :) She looks a LOT better and is ready to go home. No more pain. Were thinking she'll get to go home Saturday.

I fell asleep tonight. Nicole and I were going to do something. We didnt know what to do and welllll I fell asleep anyways. :-/

Oh yeah. I spent the night at the KES MEISTERSSSSS yestreday. (hah) She had me over and Tommy had Louis, naked Joey and Chaz. Guys are so horny, it makes me giggle. Joey and Louis went home at 9. Ross Tommy and Chaz were leaving for Ross' shortly after. Me and Katie went to Muvico bc we had nothing to do. She didnt have any money. I spent 27 dollars and I think we were there only about an hour. What a waste. I got to see almost the last half of Finding Nemo.

Well thats all. have a good night.

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:: 2003 4 June :: 10.58 am

Update on Mom: I spent a good amount of hours at the hospital yesterday. I couldnt be in the room for her throwing up, i had to cover my ears for my own health. She has a tube that goes into her nose down to her stomach. It pumps out all the throw up which consists of mainly blood and bile. Its quite disgusting. She got a catscan. Small intestine is completely blocked off. Now she is talking more and I am going to see her soon. Steriods will be mixed with IV to see if it helps reduse swelling. If it doesnt work over the next couple days theyll have to operate. I hope for the best.

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:: 2003 3 June :: 7.32 am

the ambulance was here 20 minutes ago. They took away my mom. She hasnt been feeling well because her chrones disease has been acting up. Im worried. I really hope she feels better. She was throwing up this morning and then was in too much pain to even move.

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:: 2003 31 May :: 11.02 am

and last night was the scariest night of my life..

my dad told me on the wy home that my mom wants him out of the house. She wrote him a note saying one of us has to leave. He has to look for some place to stay or someone to live with. We cried on the way home. He didnt realize everything was that bad. I feel so guilty bc i feel like I caused it because my mom and I started something yesterday. There has to be another way out. I dont think I can live with myself and just my mom. It hurt. I cried myself to sleep.

I woke up this morning, my dad isnt moving out any longer. My parents talked. I dont know anythin yet about it but I am releaved yet I still want to cry bc it scared me so much.

Thank God.

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:: 2003 31 May :: 12.50 am

i have found that all that shimmers in this world is sure to fade away, again.

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:: 2003 29 May :: 5.00 pm

feel like crying? ok dl this:

Taking Back Sunday: Your Own Disaster


Yeah im just bored and in pain. I hate being a girl! grrr. My exams were easy today. Im glad. Ok im done.

-Jessica

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:: 2003 28 May :: 7.31 pm

i was off to my moms office this morning for a couple hours. Then it was back to school for me at 9 30. My English exam was extremely hard and i dont think I did well at all. :-/ Marisa Ryan and I went to subway and then I got dropped back at my moms office. Ahhh :) i love dsl, i spent all day downloading and I made 3 CDs.

I have Bible and Math exams tomorrow. Bible is going to be hard bc I never pay attention in class bc the lady cant keep me awake. Shes fuckin sleeping herself--eyes always closed when she talks. Math I dont think will be too bad, i hope. I just dont know how Im going to remember all of the formulas.

well, wish me luck.

<3 Jessica

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:: 2003 26 May :: 8.04 pm

MARISA I ALMOST FORGOT...

Sunday, June 1st

Mizner Amphitheater

DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL

Haha look out by the front fountain for 2 lawnchairs where Marisa and I will park it.

Dont be alarmed if all of you who are paying to get in are hit with a paper airplane. "can you move a little to the right, i cant see"
Bring your munchies and a cooler to join us.

Be there or be square.

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:: 2003 26 May :: 4.55 pm

Friday- IWS Midnight Madness. Everyone seemed to be there. Pretty fun i suppose. Richie and I talked. 18 girls crammed into Ashley's expedition and slept at her house. Talk about illegal. Girls are so loud. I am thankful for the essence of being alone.

Saturday- Came home from Ashleys and I think I studied. I dont remember what I did that day or night.

Sunday- Argued with my parents some. Went to my grandmas house for a while. Drove around. Picked up Marisa and went to Muvico. Hung out with Joey Katie Jenna and Tommy. Good laughs. :)

Monday- No school for Memorial Day. Went to Justine's bday party at Lake Ida Park for some jet skiing. Steph Katie Me and Nicole decided to go tubing on Big Bertha together. That was quite intense to say the least. Ouch. Now my parents are at Mike and Jennys and I should go over there now.

The phone jsut rang. Yup im leaving. We have final exams all this week and im fucking screwed.

I jsut want to get out of here.

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:: 2003 18 May :: 5.16 pm

Friday night was Emily's party. Good show overall a lot of people came. There wasnt alcohol in sight. I got a buzz from some stuff I had brought but Im jsut starting to think I was drunk. Brian( so cute :) ) was there and we hung out the whole night basically. I could tell he wanted to make something happen but I felt exrtremely tired and I coudlnt sit still. Towards the end I was feeling better, and of course he was no where to be found. Oh well, I regret I didnt do anything sooner but I know its better bc Im not he kind of person that can jsut do something and then forget about them or make it not mean anything. Oh well Ive promised myself to stay single and clear-minded for as long as possible. And through the summer if I can manage. Everything is so much easier when you dont have someone on your mind constantly. Ive been hearing different things about what he thinks and ahhhhhh fkjsldkhfs no. no. no. no. I slept at marisas that night. Haha damnit I know her dad wasnt fuckin straight bc we got home and he kept asking me what I drank and shit and then hes liek well would u liek anything else. I told him sure and I followed him to the fridge, and then to the liquor cabinet. Were mixed some of that Starbucks frap. stuff with Baileys and Kaluah and put in a blended with some ice. Damn goodness. :) love for Marisas dad.
Saturday we went to the mall. I got some cargo capri pants. I went home and then to Katies. Katie and I went over her friend Donna's house. Came home and went to bed late.
Today we got a ride to the gas station to pick up soem cigs and then to the usual bagel place. She didnt feel well so we called Casey and he picked us up from there and took us back to her house. He's so nice seemings id only wouldnt have taken 5 min to walk back and it took him 15 min to drive to us. Ive been in my pj's all day and I feel like a lazy bum. Im hungry.

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:: 2003 11 May :: 9.13 pm

Happy Mothers Day.
1) Friday- Nicole Adams came over. We went to Town Center Mall and then to Seans house. I thought we'd be hanging out with Lauren, but she got home late the night before and couldnt sneak out. It was alright I guess, she hung out at this kid Kris' house and then went to Seans. Some hot kid Joey was there too, Nicole asked a million questions about him that night, it was funny.

2) Saturday- Woke up and Nicole's dad was on her way to pick her up. She left and I went with my parents and Jenny to Btown mall to get a Mother's Day gift for my grandma. Came home, went swimming, Nikki P came over for a lil before work. And then I went to my grandmas house all ngiht for dinner and such.

3) Sunday- Awoken at 9 30. I had to go to church bc Megan was being confirmed. Plans changed and I had to tag along to their house afterwards for a get-together. Fucking blew the whole day. I got home and went swimming again. Nicole P came over and we chilled in my room for a while eating the easter candy and then went to Target. I got some super-cool boxer briefs, batman woo woo. The Hulk Hands are still fuckin awesome.."I am going to pump :douge douge: you up" Im going to buy those eventually. But that was fun.

4) Nothing ever happens on at school anymore. Nothing exciting. Everyone is just goin to spend the rest of the school year passing back and forth their yearbooks.

And he claims love.









ha.


Edit:

I forgot to mention the pastors extremely scary sermon. Everything he said--wel..it was like he was talking to me. Its like he knew everyhting that has been going on in my life. My dad was talking about God's will on the way to churcha nd he mention that. And then he mentioned AA meetings and that related to shit with my dad. And then he metioned how most people who think they are in love actually jsut Infatuated. so who told him?

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:: 2003 11 May :: 9.13 pm

Happy Mothers Day.

1) Friday- Nicole Adams came over. We went to Town Center Mall and then to Seans house. I thought we'd be hanging out with Lauren, but she got home late the night before and couldnt sneak out. It was alright I guess, she hung out at this kid Kris' house and then went to Seans. Some hot kid Joey was there too, Nicole asked a million questions about him that night, it was funny.

2) Saturday- Woke up and Nicole's dad was on her way to pick her up. She left and I went with my parents and Jenny to Btown mall to get a Mother's Day gift for my grandma. Came home, went swimming, Nikki P came over for a lil before work. And then I went to my grandmas house all ngiht for dinner and such.

3) Sunday- Awoken at 9 30. I had to go to church bc Megan was being confirmed. Plans changed and I had to tag along to their house afterwards for a get-together. Fuck blew the whole day. I got home and went swimming again. Nicole P came over and we chilled in my room for a while eating the easter candy and then went to Target. I got some super-cool boxer briefs, batman woo woo. The Hulk Hands are still fuckin awesome.."I am going to pump :douge douge: you up" Im going to buy those eventually. But that was fun.

4) Nothing ever happens on at school anymore. Nothing exciting. Everyone is just goin to spend the rest of the school year passing back and forth their yearbooks.

And he claims love.









ha.

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:: 2003 4 May :: 7.52 pm
:: Music: :AOL Radio: The Early November- Every Night's Another Story

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:: 2003 4 May :: 12.24 am

Bostons at 12 for Katies party. It was cool, me katie nikki steph melissa altman ashley chrissie(?) jenna maupin hughes steph justine.. Went to the beach after, ran into mark and richie and they chilled with us all day. me steph and katie went back to justines house after. we went to her community pool/ jacquzzi n such. hung out with some neighborhood kids. justines mom freaked out on her and started screaming at her, even in front of us. she told us we had to leave. we went in her room to call our parents while she talked with her mom and we could hear every word that they were saying and we think her mom hit her. Im scared for Justine, shes so sweet and she noted something about her moms takes too many pills or some shit. Im so against parents be physical with children, if my mom ever touched me god damn i dont know what id do..id fuckin hit her so hard, thats what id do. But yeah, my mom got pissed off at me bc i couldnt give good directions bc i certainly couldnt give the fone to justines mom and justine was crying so that didnt work either. Then my parents got in some stupid fight on the way home. So much fuckin tension everywhere i go today. Jenna sold oout Katie today too. Jenna came to Bostons with everyone and then liek 20 minutes later Dave shows up and then he eats with us and they both leave before everyone else and go to the beach and we dont see Jenna again til Dave has to leave and everyone was gone and we were waiting for our ride to Justines. I guess katie was gunna take jenna home but she sure as fuck wasnt going to give her a ride when she fuckin brought her bf to her party without asking and then totally blew katie off all day. what a bitch, i dont like that girl. Besides, she looks like an alien.

Excuse me.

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:: 2003 2 May :: 11.17 pm

for Nicole: driving fast in what car??

Forward yesterday
Makes me wanna stay
What they said was real
Makes me wanna steal
Livin' under house
Guess I'm livin', I'm a mouse
All's I gots is time
Got no meaning, just a rhyme

Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause it likes to heal
Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause he likes to steal
Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause it likes to heal, I like to steal

I'm half the man I used to be
Because I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Well, I'm half the man I used to be
Because I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Well, I'm half the man I used to be
Because I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Well, I'm half the man I used to be, half the man I used to be

Feelin' uninspired
Think I'll start a fire
Everybody run
Bobby's got a gun
Think you're kinda neat
Then she tells me I'm a creep
Friends don't mean a thing
Guess I'll leave it up to me

Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause it likes to heal
Take time with a wounded hand
Guess I like to steal
Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause it likes to heal, I like to steal

I'm half the man I used to be
Because I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
I'm half the man I used to be
Because I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
I'm half the man I used to be
Because I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
I'm half the man I used to be, half the man I used to be

Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause it likes to heal
Take time with a wounded hand
Guess I like to steal
Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause it likes to heal, I like to steal

I'm half the man I used to be
Because I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Well, I'm half the man I used to be
Because I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Well, I'm half the man I used to be
Because I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Well, I'm half the man I used to be, half the man I used to be,
Half the man I used to be

Who owes who 100 bucks now ;-)

Nicole and I drove to Stephs house tonight to drop off a book. It wasnt bad. Steph got her baces off. Looks good. We had a good time joking around and stuff. Steph gets angry easily from what I can see. I dont understand. Haha Nicole was trying to call her after we left and ask her about that and then the person on the other end of the phone was all "WHO IS THIS?!" and she hung up freaking out bc she thought it was Stephanie's mom. ----she dialed the wrong number :)

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