:: 2003 9 March :: 4.51 pm
:: Mood: ::sigh:: Sad.

KATIE I'M AN APPLE!!!

I went to the beach and got VERY burnt. Ass and tits would probably glow in the dark if I stood naked. And now I'm all sticky from aloe. I really missed Mark today. Dammit I cant help it. I found myself looking for him bc I ran into him last time I was there. I think I really want to talk to him now. I kind of want it to be in person though.

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:: 2003 8 March :: 10.44 pm

Damnit damnit damnit! I just fucking choked. He came on and I couldnt get myself to IM him. God damn me. Whats wrong with me.

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:: 2003 8 March :: 10.01 pm
:: Mood: Gloomy

Stayed home last night. All day today. And tonight. Im bored out of my mind. Nicole Adams and I are going to meet at Delray beach tomorrow morning at 11 so that will help keep my mind off things. I still havent talked to Mark. I miss him :-/

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:: 2003 7 March :: 8.50 pm
:: Mood: I've hit rock bottom.

Never have I felt so sad about someone who means soo much to me. I guess I did piss him off last night. I saw him this morning before school started but I jsut walked by, I honestly didnt knwo what to do, was I supposed to go and talk to him? Or hwo was I to know if he was mad or not? I got a note from him on the way back from Spanish. Basically its over. I seem to be forever from happiness. Nothing has been going right. I feel so bad but I part of me thinks its nt my fault. But it probably is. He makes me feel so guilty when he says it took him so much to give up being single to go out wiht me. Thats incredibly selfish to me, I, for one, didnt make him ask me out. And if it was such a big deal then maybe he shouldnt of asked anyways. Geez im sorry(!) if Im such an inconvience to his life. I have never cried to this extent over him and I dont think he would care. Im so sad this is all over, its a relief bc the fighting will stop but I still love him. God, help me.

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:: 2003 6 March :: 9.48 pm
:: Mood: Weird

Mark called me last night around 9 30 and asked if I was naked. Noow noow guys, he just wanted to knwo if he could stop by to say hi. Heh it was cool. We sat out on my driveway and talked and stuff.

I jsut came home from Uturn tongiht and no one was there. I made Marisa go bc its a whoel lot better than jsut sitting at home. Now I came home and talking to Mark online. Hes being really gay. OK YEAH! NOW HE JSUT GOT OFFLINE! thats really not cool. Im in a really good mood right now so its really not upsetting me. He cant fucking talk about anything and it bothers the shit out of me. Like I jsut scrolled though our whole IM and I swear alomost every time he says something its 1 or 2 words. And then he gets all upset with me bc we have different opinions of having fun. His is agreeable but I need to be in the mood. Seems as if he's only in it for one thing. He says Im giving him mixed signals. right. It reminds me of a typical story of a guy who meets a girl at a party who looks vulnerable, but she just so happens to want to get to knwo him before anything happens and then he asks her out bc then he expects to get what he wants. And the girl seems clueless and probably is and will be in heartbrake bc he broke up with her and got what he wanted. Well thats not cool.

He seems to liek me for more when he talks about how the girls that he falls for never work out for him. But I still dont knwo if I believe him.

I a m s o r r y .

sure.

fuck you!

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:: 2003 4 March :: 6.06 pm
:: Mood: Staying Strong

Its so hot in here I could "sweat my nuts off"

The air conditioning broke. Boo. It's so hot. Looking up lyrics, thinking, doing Spanish homework. Theres a whole lot I wish I could have posted for myself to read but I Xed it out.

Rob I love you so incredibly much. Dont leave me again.

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:: 2003 3 March :: 8.59 pm

BWAHAHAHAHAH

How to Shower Like a Woman
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave in hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner out of hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How To Shower Like a Man
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face.
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pee.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed



Today was cool. Tom is nice. Glad I know him too. Marks hair looks funny. Hah. I dont particularly liek it but Oh well, what can you say? U know? Its cool I guess. I going to go unload grocerys now!!!! WHAT FUN!

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:: 2003 2 March :: 5.23 pm

The phone woke me up again at 12 40 this afternoon. I was glad bc I remember that the play started at 2 and I still needed to shower and get ready. Annie was good. I liked Robs hair all jelled and stuff. Some ppl are so pretty its not fair makes me feel jealous. Got home a little bit ago. Mark wrote me some emails saying to call him when I wake up bc he wanted to see me. Oops, I guess that didnt work out. Is Nicole still going out with that Sharif kid? Im not sure, she hasnt said anthing about him lately so I have doubts. SHE DOESNT WRITE ANYMORE EITHER! ::sniffle:: Going to do Ms. Mulhalls hw now. C ya later.

Jessica

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:: 2003 1 March :: 11.06 pm
:: Mood: Happy

Mark just left. He was here prolly an hour. Ahh it was fun. Kissing is good fun. Innocent. Me my mom and Marisa went to town center to spend money. I got a shirt and sandals, Marisa got 2 shirts and a pair of shorts, and mom bought about everything bc she had my dads money lol. Dropped Marisa back at home after and me and mom called it a night by eating dinner and watching trading spaces. I love that show. I got an idea to paint my walls now. Im excited. Its checkboard but with 3 colors. And then Mark came over after work. Thats it.

I hope tomorrow is fun, I want to go to the beach I think. Anyone want to go?? Oh shit, tomorrow is Sunday already...nvm, I'm going to the play. Marisa are u still going?

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:: 2003 27 February :: 8.46 pm
:: Mood: Bored

Im at my grandmas house for her birthday and my uncle just walked in the door. Obviously not going to Uturn. Its ok, didnt really plan to seemings everyone else was busy. Mark called me back after laX on his way home and is going to the play. Hes there now. I got the April issue of Seventeen in the mail today and it is actually one of the times where I read the articles. Kate Hudson was the famous person for that month and she has some truthfulness to what she says. She said: "If your heart's broken, let it break. Cry your eyes out, write it in your journal, sob to your girlfriends-- it will be over in a week. On to the next!"

And in another article called "Is this love? Or is he on the rebound?
I found that I could relate to one of the situations that they gave for warning signs of just being on rebound. It says:

The Clue: He says he doesnt want a relationship, but he calls you a lot. And sometimes you make out.
What it could Mean: He wants action, but hes aftraid of getting hurt again.
How to proceed: Be clear about what you want. Next time he calls, try saying "Oh, hello! Are you calling to ask me on a date?" If he says no, tell him he has to stop calling you so often. You can still be friends, but dont kiss him, and if you're at the same party, always leave before he does--so you're not tempted to put up with his reindeer games.

......now I wouldnt exactly agree or go along with all of their advice but there are def truths in there and things I can admit to. That I wish I hadnt.

I miss him already.

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:: 2003 27 February :: 4.54 pm
:: Mood: Cheerful
:: Music: Mr. Rogers- A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood *RIP

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:: 2003 26 February :: 8.01 pm
:: Mood: Sad
:: Music: Dashboard

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:: 2003 25 February :: 9.12 pm
:: Mood: Giddy?? whats that?
:: Music: Doo doo doo dum, doo doo doo doo doo doo dum...

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:: 2003 24 February :: 8.52 pm
:: Mood: Contemplative

YYYAAAYY FOR JELLO!

The air is filled with the scent of orange, raspberry, and cherry Jello. Smiles come to my face.

Today went by super fast. I was worried about 2nd period. Bc I knew I was going to HAVE to see him. I didnt want to and I was scared for his reaction too. It turned out Ok. I was talking to Trey and then I saw him and arms opened so I went in for the hug. Aww :( I feel bad, I was in the middle of talking to Trey and I cut him off. But yeah, it was a very long, tight-held hug with a "im sorry" from him somewhere in the middle of it all. I didnt say anything back but enjoyed the moment and was grateful it all was over.

Also today: KATIE IS AN APPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, yes she is!
She got sunburnt from going to the beach and a trip to the tanning salon. Haha its quite amusing when she shoves her shirt in her bra "bc it feels a lot better this way" haha. I love you Katie!!!!

Also: I miss you Nicole! Im feeling distant :( We need to hang out soon! I liked ur hair today :D

Marisa slept over last night bc her dad went away on some business trip. It was fun, I dont understand why parents dont let their children have sleepovers on "school nights". I mean, seriously, we still get the same amount of sleep and do *most of our work. I did the boxy thing in her hair again last night, I think it was one of my best creations in 7th grade. Good times.

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:: 2003 23 February :: 10.53 am
:: Mood: Worried

What just happened?

So I had all day to pick something but I couldnt make up my mind. He called me back after work and there was a period of long silence and he hung up. I called him back and told him I would randomly name things but he has to tell me whether or not he wants to do it. We ended going to 7-11 and then his house. Everything was fine until he asked what I wanted to do now and I said lets go on a walk. And he said no. But I dont understand bc he was just telling me before, he was like "w.e I dont care, Anything you want to do, we can do it" and he said no to a walk bc they were boring and its hot out and some other things. I sat outside hoping he would change his mind. Nope. Went back inside pulled him back outside and the same thing happened. I was out there a alot longer I think though. He finally ame outside and asked me if he can take me home "bc we are just waisting time and it will only make him more mad". OMG! Someone Plllease tell me, Did I really ask too much? Is a walk THAT BAD? I dont understand. No one said anything the whole ride back to my house and I said I was sorry as I left.

Now what?

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