You Know You Drink Too Much When:

-You have a "happy hour" at home
-You spend all night making a board game called Alcohol Land
-Although you drove home the other night you can't remember how you got home or where you parked your car
-You can spend a whole night holding up walls to prevent their (your) collapse.
-You frequently urinate outdoors.
-When you first wake up and you're afraid you're gonna die and a half-hour later you're afraid you won't.
-You fall asleep taking a dump.
-You believe that spilling a beer is alcohol abuse.
-You go to the john to hurl, but you take your beer with you.
-You find it's easier to study drunk.
-You wake up to the sound of your dog drinking out of the toilet and you're so dry that it sounds mighty thirst quenching.
-You wake the next morning and start drinking a few of the half empties left sitting around the room.
-The space on your driver's license that tells your eye color reads "bloodshot".
-You fall down a flight of steps and DON'T spill a drop of your beer.
-You mix your cocktails by the litre.
-When the bottle says 20 standard drinks but you only get 5.
-You spell Alcohol with a capital letter out of respect
-24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
-Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
-You can focus better with one eye closed
-The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar
-Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
-The glass keeps missing your mouth.
-You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.
-Every night you're beginning to find your roomate's cat more and more attractive.
-If you're on a diet, you cut back your food calories to allow for alcohol calories.
-You drink to get over a hangover.
-You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who drink too much.

If I hadn't made me, I would've been made somehow
If I hadn't assembled myself, I'd have fallen apart by now
If I hadn't made me, I'd be more inclined to bow
Powers that be, would have swallowed me up
But that's more than I can allow
Bow yeah, bow yeah
If you let them make you, they'll make you paper mache
At a distance you're strong, until the wind comes
Then you crumble and blow away
If you let them fuck you, there will be no fore-play
Rest assured, they'll screw you complete
Til your ass is blue and gray
You should make amends with you
If only for better health, better health
But if you really want to live
Why not try, and make yourself
Make yourself
Make yourself
If I hadn't made me, I'd have fallen apart by now
I won't let them make me, It's more than I can allow
So when I make me, I won't be paper mache
And if I fuck me, I'll fuck me my own way
Pow! I'll, fuck me in my own way
Pow! I'll, fuck me in my own way
Pow! I'll, fuck me in my own way
Fuck me in my own way
You should make amends with you
If only for better health, better health
But if you really want to live
Why not try, and make yourself
Make yourself
Make yourself
Make yourself
Make yourself

V-Day
Well well well... Another day passes, except this time it was v-day. This was the first valentines day that I was single for since 1998, my freshman year in high school... Wierd... and back then I had never had a real girlfriend before. It was strange but I don't really care anymore. V-day doesn't mean anything anymore anyway, actually "V-Day is a global movement to stop violence against women and girls."

This weekend was kinda boring, Steph was down so that means Kyle pretty much just stays home or goes out with her. This time was different though they didn't mind hanging out with me too. On Friday we went and saw Hitch, which I thought was a pretty good movie. We saw Tom and Nicole there when we were leaving and talked to them for a little.

On Saturday we went to dinner at some new Italian restaurant near the new mall, it was pretty good, and they had some pretty good drinks too... YUM YUM... We also went to BevMo and ordered my keg for my party next weekend.

On Sunday I went to the NHRA races with my dad. WOW those were freaking awesome. I had never been before and I was amazed at how loud, fast, and great this was when you are actually there! Plus there are tons of hot bitches there too, the "pit lizards" has Barry would put it. We saw "Miss Silicone 2004" or 2005 don't remember, all I remember is her big ass boobs (haha).

And yesterday I just hung out at my house and did whatever. I'm gonna go buy Bacardi a new bone and a new rope as his v-day gift, since he is my valentine! Went bowling with Brian like always, twas' fun.

K, thats it.

Peace.

i tear my heart open
i sew myself shut
my weakness is
that i care too much

and my scars remind me
that the past is real
i tear my heart open
just to feel

drunk and im feeling down
and i just wanna be alone
im pissed 'cause you came around
why dont you just go home

'cause you channeled all your pain
and i cant help you fix yourself
you're making me insane
all i can say is

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized

that youre drowning in the water
so i offered you my hand
compassion's in my nature
tonight is our last stand

cause youre drowning in the water
and i tried to grab your hand
i left my heart open
but you didnt understand

you fix yourself!

i cant help you fix yourself
but at least i can say i tried
im sorry but i gotta move on with my own life

Something isn't right,
I can feel it again, feel it again.
This isn't the first time,
That you left me waiting.
Sad excuses and false hopes high,
I saw this coming, still I don't know why,
I let you in.

I knew it all along,
You're so predictable.
I knew something would go wrong,
So you don't have to call,
Or say anything at all.
You're so predictable.

So take your empty words, Your broken promises,
And all the time you stole,
'Cause I am done with it,
I could give it away,
I'm doing everything I should of,
Now I'm making a change,
Living the day,
I'm giving back what you gave me

I knew it all along,
You're so predictable.
I knew something would go wrong,
So you don't have to call,
Or say anything at all.
You're so predictable.

Now everywhere I go,
Everyone I meet,
Every time I try to fall in love,
They all want to know why I'm so broken.

Why I'm so cold, why I'm so hard inside.
Why am I scared?
What am I afraid of?

I don't even know, this story's never had an end.
I've been waiting,
I've been searching,
I've been hoping,
I've been dreaming you would come back,
But I know the ending of this story.
And you're never coming back,
Never...

I knew it all along,
You're so predictable.
I knew something would go wrong... (So predictable...)

Everywhere I go for the rest of my life,
Everyone I love, (So predictable...)
Everyone I care about,
They're all gonna want to know what's wrong with me. (So predictable...)
And I know what it is, What it is is right now

Bittersweet

I'm not sure what I am feeling right now.

Last night people came to look at my car and this morning they called me and said they will most likely buy it and will call me back today at like 1. The time is finally here, but I really don't want to let my baby go. My car is so sweet and I put lots of time and money into it. Anyway I'm not sure what I want now, back before I bought the Acura, almost two full years ago I wanted a S-10. I still want one, and I have found some for around the $9k range. I will get almost $5k to spend off the sale of my car, and I planned on getting a cheap $3k car/truck/thing and spend the rest on a very old bike, but now I don't really want some old piece to drive around in. So I'm thinking I'm gonna buy like a $8-$9k S-10 or Tacoma, then save for the bike. Hmm... Heres some links to the trucks I'm thinking about...

http://autotrader.com/fyc/vdp.jsp?car_id=175430187
http://autotrader.com/fyc/vdp.jsp?car_id=176018492
http://autotrader.com/fyc/vdp.jsp?car_id=176733262
http://autotrader.com/fyc/vdp.jsp?car_id=170654479

The last one is less likely because its not extended cab.

or the tacomas for more money...
http://autotrader.com/fyc/vdp.jsp?car_id=177634503
http://autotrader.com/fyc/vdp.jsp?car_id=177294970
http://autotrader.com/fyc/vdp.jsp?car_id=176549722
http://autotrader.com/fyc/vdp.jsp?car_id=177615458

G's & B's

Well this weekend didn't really have many high points.

Friday I spent the better part of the night talking with this guy that wanted to buy my car. Finally my dad told him to come back tomorrow because he was pretty damn shady. After that I think it was the same ol thing, chillin in Kyle's room with JD and Jon.

Saturday my Aunt and grandma came out to have dinner with us, and Tom and Nicole came too. Tom and I had some beers and I got pretty damn drunk... Well I did once we got home anyway. I don't even remember much that night.

Sunday I went with my parents to the Fenbags house for the Super Bowl. It was fun because it reminded me of old times. I don't think I have gone there since the first time that those damn Fagriots won. Anyway its cool to see Ryan and Rayna again. I know Joe told me not to persue Rayna, so I'm not... But damn she is hot, I invited her and her brother to my party on the 19th.

The party is gonna be so badass (hopefully), I got prices for kegs and found out its like $123 for a keg of Newcastle which will serve about 140 servings of 12oz. That would be like 6 beers for 23 people. Hopefully people tell lots of others about this party because I was going to go buy some more beer and some other shit so people can "PICK THEIR POISON" So yah I hope word of mouth works out.

Last night I found out that its $1 drafts at the bowling alley... I have been going for like 3 months and I just now found this out! I was pissed though because Newcastle was still $4.50 for a small ass glass, but I think next week I'm bringing lots o' money. I keep remembering my dad's stories of drunk bowling, and how he had his best games then. HAHA

Hmm... I guess its time for the G's and B's...

Good: Eagles Lost, Bad: Fagriots Won
Good: I got drunk, Bad: At dinner with family
Good: I have lost like 25 lbs, Bad: I don't see it
Good: I like not being in school right now, Bad: Sometimes I wish I was in school
Good: Weeks go by super fast, Bad: If I don't party on the weekend I feel like i haven't done anything.
Good: I want to be more social, Bad: I'm afraid I am trying to be something I'm not.
Good: Rayna's hot, Bad: I'm not
Good: Joe's new woman, Bad: She is a friends ex
Good: Chapelles Show Season 2 comes out today, Bad: I dont have any money
Good: My birthday is coming, Bad: So is valentines day
Good: I'm finished with this entry, Bad: It's not my LAST entry ever.

I have 4 GMAIL invites if anyone wants one let me know your email and I will send you an invite. Thanks.

Music now:

Lately,
I'm not quite myself.
Maybe,
I do need some help.
Just my confusion,
Trust my delusion.

Don't you,
Regret you met me.
Go through,
These steps to get me,
Back to where we start,
'Fore I fall apart.

If I could black out,
It'd become so clear,
Standing face-to-face with everything I fear.

Watch so closely,
but still I don't see.
As bad as it seems,
a piece of mind I steal,
An ordinary life,
But consequences real.
I'm past the point of reality.

This isn't me,
This isn't you,
When it's just everything we do.
Till you open up your eyes,
and understand this isn't real.

This isn't me,
This isn't you,
This is everything but true,
Till we come to realize,
Is what we put each other through.

It's like a bad dream,
Coming all so true,
Leaving me with nothing else left to do.
Now so helpless,
I'm not so selfish.
Tell me,
How does it feel to have a face like that,
How does it feel to be replaced like that.
Now so faceless,
Do you still feel

This isn't me,
This isn't you,
When it's just everything we do.
Till you open up your eyes,
and understand this isn't real.
This isn't me,
This isn't you,
This is everything but true,
Till we come to realize,
is what we put each other through.

It's hard to believe right now
This seem to be real.
Still phasing by this time
So why can't I wake up

This isn't me,
This isn't you,
When it's just everything we do.
Till you open up your eyes,
and understand this isn't real.
This isn't me,
This isn't you,
This is everything but true,
Till we come to realize,
is what we put each other through

Weekend Delight

Where to start... Okay Thrusday night... Brian asks what I am doing and I was just getting out of the shower at like 5:30 or something, so we decide to go see a movie. Elektra to be exact, I wasn't sure if I was gonna like this but I just wanted to get outta the house. Anyway I invite: Tom, JD, Vanessa, and Jessica to go... Of course non of them were able to, Tom and JD had no money. Vanessa couldn't because of studying or something, and Jessica was a work. Brian's g/f Kasie got home so she went too. Anyway the movie was pretty good, or at least better than I expected.

Okay friday. I'm just standing around about to get in my car and go for a drive, when I get a call from Jon. He invites me out to Covina to go to some party. I was like "Cool I will be there" and hang up. I go get some food and am just about to sit down when Rayna calls me and asks what I am doing. So I tell her I am gonna be going to some party, and she was like cool where, and I told her in your city. So she asked if I could pick her up before I went, so I did. Anyway on the way to the party she started worrying if she would know people there, and I didn't say anything, I already knew her brother was there. So yah we get there and her brother was there and some of her brother's friends. Jon's brother was there too, so I ended up knowing more than I had realized.

Anyway the party lasted until about 1:30 before the cops came and kicked everyone out. It was a pretty fun party, not to crazy but still fun.

On Saturday I went to dinner with my parents and grandma, I think my parents have eaten out with her almost everynight since my grandpa passed away. Anyway after we ate I went home and pretty much just chilled by myself. I watched Eurotrip and I finished the first Harry Potter book, which was pretty damn good.

Sunday I didn't do anything that I can remember.

Yesterday my brother came back from Utah so I talked with him for a little bit and we went bowling like we always do every monday night. I brought Jon and Kyle and JD showed up later. I also talked to my parents about the big BDAY bash I am planning on having at my house on the 19th of Feb. EVERYONE but two people are invited, and I was making sure my parents knew that I was gonna take care of everything and that the reason I wanted to have the party was because my dad told me he would buy me a keg of Newcastle for my bday, so yah, if you don't already know now you do, your invited!

Oh yah and I got some new cologne and it smells really good.

Okay thats it, not much, but at least I had fun, eh?

Peace