buttercup954
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2004 26 February :: 1.19pm
:: Music: howie day
::sigh:: this rainy weather is beautiful huh? well, as long as you're not driving in it. we know how much i hate cali drivers, so you can imagine how rain pisses me off even more.
i can't wait till spring break....
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WhitePony
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2004 25 February :: 1.39pm
:: Music: The song Kaa sings to Mowgli is for some reason in my head
"Trust In Meeeee"
It's been raining a lot in California lately. I was down in Rancho Cucamonga for Kevin's 21st last weekend and it hailed and rained and the streets flooded and here the combination of wind and rain has been insane. Although being in it (especially when you're trying to get gas) can be pretty annoying, but just witnessing it is truely amazing to me. Laura and I were talking about this earlier and its like nature is saying "what up now suckas" We as humans think we're a badass dominating species yet on days like this we are put in our place, and I think its wonderful. I was driving to school and I watched as the traffic lights swayed in the wind and I just thought, just a little more and that thing is going down. We are weak and I love it.
I feel like watching Winnie the Pooh now. "And the rain rain rain falls down down down"
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moana
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2004 25 February :: 9.00am
You're Element is Night. You're a loner who is very
creative but never show your work to anyone.
You may smile a little but sadness or
loneliness surround you and other can feel it
when they're near you. You have a dark or
unusual beauty that makes you mysterious and
you probably have a lot of secrets that you've
never told anyone. You're beauty is intriging
and unorthidox but the real thing that makes
you special is your eyes. Something in them
makes them like "Diamonds in the
Rough."
What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla
in my eyes you have lost someone you love or wish
you loved. i think youll find the right person
one day. good luck. (rate?)
in my eyes you are...(pics and different outcomes)
brought to you by Quizilla
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buttercup954
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2004 22 February :: 8.44am
happy 21st to one of my most fab friends, ms. sarah vivian.
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moana
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2004 22 February :: 10.32am
Sex
Take my hand before you go
I want to feel your skin once more
Remember nights of heat and steam
Remembering I thought it a dream
There was sweat, there was magic
It was paradise, we were tragic
You curled your lips because all was well
And we were happy, I could tell
It was dark, but we were awake
I started to breathe then I started to shake
I remember your hot breath so cold to me
And crying out in ecstasy
We gave one another all we had
Then laughed and cried and nearly went mad
And swore to one another on that night
That what we were doing was right
So we tangled in bed, the covers a mess
I tremble at the memory of your caress
Your lips and mine in gentle press
Our bodies were all that we possessed
The thrill of your body sticky against mine
The tickle and chill up and down my spine
Though I sweat my body went cold
And so did yours in my hold
But we grabbed on as if in fear
That it was all a dream and we weren’t really here
And when your tongue lapped on my lazy shore
I couldn’t help but ask for more
No matter if push came to shove
I swore to you I was in love
In or out of the mood I was in
I made love to you far deeper than skin
And loved one another in our fornication
I made sounds of delight you made sounds of exclamation
The ocean and its motion stormed the sea
Left us high in our ecstasy
To dream to be what we wanted to be
I was with you, and you with me
The night’s still young so don’t stop now
I will make you happy if you show me how
And whisper secrets our bodies can share
Then seal a contract more scared than a swear
If and when the sun leaves the sea
It will be day again eventually
It’s more than life, out bodies are at stake
And when it’s finally over, we’re the only ones awake
And the world is hazy in an untimely mist
Your lips still wet from the last time we kissed
Yet even with the brightening dawn
Last night and its life linger on
I to this day don’t believe it was fate
Only that one night was worth the wait
And that if I were to do it again
I would never be as happy as I was back then
The sun is out now, day is here
Time has passed, just over half a year
I remember it still, to this very day
The emotional lust, the physical way
So take my hand before you go
I just want to feel your skin once more
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moana
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2004 22 February :: 6.00am
:: Music: jack off jill - when i am queen
lyrica
When I am queen I will insist with perfect scars upon my wrists
that everything you once held dear is taken away from you
When I am queen sweet girlscout's face and not a one will fall from grace
If all their hearts I could replace, but until then I'll have to...
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown
When I am queen on royal throne made out of parts of broken bones
of all the devils I have known that suck the angels dry
When I am queen I'll have my way I'll make it drowning dollie day
and all the tears that we have cried will suck back in our eyes
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown
Hush baby hush baby
Hush baby go to sleep
Hush baby hush baby
Hush baby I'll make it be
When I am queen I will not wait my body type will still be great
I will not leave it up to fate because I hate you too
When I am queen they all will see the patron saint of self-injury
the glitter sores will heal themselves I'll play the part of someone else
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown
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moana
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2004 21 February :: 11.10am
:: Music: APC - three libras
lyrica definita
Threw you the obvious (i showed you the obvious side of me)
And you flew with it on your back (you accepted it as reality without question)
A name in your recollection (i'm only a name, you don't know anything else about me)
Down among a million, say: (lots of people are the same as me)
Difficult enough to feel a little bit
Disappointed, passed over. (i feel like i'm being ignored)
When I've looked right through,
To see you naked and oblivious (even though i tried to know everything about you)
And you don't see me (you don't know anything about me)
Well I threw you the obvious, (i gave you my superficial information)
Just to see if there's more behind the (to make sure weather or not)
Eyes of a fallen angel, (there was more to you than sadness)
Eyes of a tragedy. (there was more to you than tragedy)
Here I am expecting just a little bit
Too much from the wounded (i expect too much from the emotionally hurt)
But I see, (learn)
See through it all, (go past the exterior)
See through,
And see you. (and learn about you)
So I threw you the obvious
Do you see what occurs behind the (do you know that there's more to me)
Eyes of a fallen angel (than sadness)
Eyes of a tragedy (than tragedy)
Well, oh well...
Apparently nothing.
Apparently nothing at all. (apparently there is nothing more to me than sadness and tragedy)
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me at all (you don't know me at all)
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moana
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2004 21 February :: 6.53am
I’m sorry. I’m just so sorry. I wish I could be dependable, reliable, someone who’ll be there when you’re old to babysit your kids and tell them horror stories about their moms, you guys. I wanna be the funky aunt who gives em chocolate when you say no and buys them their first condoms. but i'm not going to. because i won't be able to.
as a friend, the basis of a friendship should be support. simply being there for one another. i've failed the most basic of test already, and yet i've paraded as your friends, all of you guys, without shame or dignity. but i'm not going to be there for you. one day you'll want me by your side as a friend, or you'll need my support, and i jsut won't be there. i can't be there. i'm so sorry for that.
i feel it's fair for you to know. don't count on me to be there, don't depend on me to help you, because i can't. i'm so sorry, you can only imagine how sorry i am...
i love you all. i wish i could change myself but i can't, it's too late. i want to be there as long as i can, but i only have so much time. your friendships have meant the world to me, but i don't deserve the world. and you all deserve more reliable friends.
so in case i don't see ya, bye you guys..
all my love
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moana
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2004 20 February :: 3.21pm
marry me
i'll try to wait for another day
possibly maybe just a mile away
i'll walk the short distance to find
the energy to let go, unwind
i'm in no rush, so take your time
to make the offer, one sublime
two to tango and make this run
three, the wishes to find THE ONE
four happy parents to laugh and cry
five ring fingers, but only one is mine
six months to the occasion, time to plan
seven lucky numbers on the inside of my hands
eight members in our lively band
nine months for a baby, let's start to understand
ten years later, we're right where we were
only instead of with me you're now with her
i don't want the question if you're going to choke
don't propose to me with a ring of smoke
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buttercup954
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2004 18 February :: 4.07pm
go here for more....... well more crap.
http://www.livejournal.com/~lily_954/
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moana
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2004 18 February :: 10.32am
:: Mood: yiyiyi! it's got its ups n downs...
:: Music: naruto second opening - the far far side
*japanese singing*
EMAC FUCKIN ROCKS! ok now that that's out of the way, i played the insane secretary! it was so cool, cuz when we were writting the script for the cinderella scene of the production, i wrote the secretary lik totally wrote her into me! and i got her! YES! i had to memorize my lines in a day, it was hard, but i rocked it harder ;) so yea, my dad went to see the performance, and it was SO NERVE WRECKING cuz he's never seen me act like EVER, and after the performance, i sat next to him, after i had been congratulated by ALL his sisters nad my stepmom, AND my dad's little brother's wife, who said that she was surprised students could throw together such an outstanding performance, and he was smiling. like genuinely smiling. i haven't seen one of those smiles in AGES, it made me whole fuckin month, and i felt like everything i had been working for was so totally worth it because of that one smile. i was soooo happy. he naturally didn't say much but that smile alone was enough.
since then, i've been mostly just catching up with schoolwork i missed. we had the auditions for steal magnolias yesterday, and i was totally nervous. i didn't get shelby, i'm ouiser. it's ok, she's a kick ass character. i'm gonna love playing her. just a little disapointed. well, yea... and then...*sniffle*
i don't know what else. i finished my computers project! like all of it! woohu i'm so fuckin proud of me! i perfectly forged three pages from a random magazine. the cover, an article, and an ad. i am the queen of the universe!
wait more EMAC stuff! shaimah sent me a bagfull of things. it had in it 2 wonka bars, 2 jolly ranchers, a stuffed dog with a heart in his mouth that says "i woof you" and a letter! attatched to the letter was her picture and i couldn't help crying a little bit when i saw it. she's so beautiful. i miss her like crazy... well guess who delivered the bag to me by hand? HOT GUY WHO HAS OFFICE AID A BLOCK! woohu! anyhow, we went to sha3ab park on friday, it was the fuckin shyt. had the time of my life. i bought these dog tags and had TOTO 15-01-88 inscribed on it. aida and tags got ones too. it was yayed out! we got on the disco thing and played rania's system of a down cd to the speakers, it was the BEST! instead of sitting on the chairs n trying to hang on, we all sat in the middle and started rolling all over one another. we'd get up when it stopped, head bang a little bit, then they'd start the ride again because they enjoyed us so much hahaha. not really. we got raped on that thing and it was so much fun! FREDUBINE BUNJEE JUMPED! GO CONCUBINE! we went on the roller coaster ride with hussa she's so cool. sha3ab was seriously perfect.
the next day, we went to marina mall in the morning. it was fun, i hung out with "homegirl" aka "rosy" aka the guy that had to play cinderella's valley girl step sister, he's real cool. it kicked ass. he plaed her BEAUTIFULLY, and he bought like 19 cd's from virgin, like seirously AMAZING cds. and i convinced his girlfriend to buy deftones! woohu i'm so proud! welll at around the end of the trip, while we were going down the escalators to go to the buses, we realize there\s a big fuss down there, and we go down and i hear EVERYONE go "awwww" in like perfect unision and harmony. then i saw andy and naser hug and i found out from someone that he gave her a rose! it was so cute! well i wasn't even done gushing over it when blag came from behind me, tapped me on the shoulder n went "ToTo?" and i turn around and he got me a rose! i couldn't believe it! it was way cute and past scary. so we got on the bus together n he just held me cloes the whole busride back to school. it was real nice. when we got to school we really didn't get much chance to hook up before the performance. that was that. i pressed the rose in my scrapbook, with shaimah's letter. this weekend, this past weekend, i wouldn't change for the world. it was perfect. i loved it. i'm ready to die now.
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WhitePony
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2004 17 February :: 11.44pm
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WhitePony
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2004 16 February :: 11.41am
:: Music: Before The Storm - Love That Sound
Treatment for the loss of so many years
If someone had come to me a few years ago and told me that I’d be in a band with the likes of Kyle Lawler I would never have believed them. For as long as I’ve known him he’s been the best guitarist in my opinion, and now I’m in a band with him. Sometimes the reality of it hits me and I just well up with so much amazement and emotion. When we’re at practice and we’re not playing our set, but trying to come up with new songs or riffs I’ll sit back while he experiments and I’ll watch him. How quick and agile his fingers are just astonishes me and how he contorts his fingers to hit clever notes, I just have to take a step back. I am so honored to be a part of his art. Not to diminish the talent of the rest of the band, they are all extremely gifted in their own respects, but I just have such an awesome respect for Kyle.
Well with all that said, we had a show last night and it went wonderfully. I was called on Friday night and asked to play at the last minute because a band scheduled to play bailed. We played in the downtown city park gazebo which to me seemed an extremely odd place to play. In the spring and such they have gentle folk bands who play there so I think last night was a culture shock for the Paso Robles conservatives. At first we were slated as the opening act, which was a downer but you take what you can get. Then we talked to one of the other bands and it was going to be their very first show and they were a little insecure about playing last. And the second band was a group from Louisiana who was on tour and I think they wanted to be packed and ready to leave. So we played last, which ended up being awesome because we dominated. Seriously we rocked it. Gawd, I probably sound like a cocky bastard, but no joke. We had the crowd really moving. The mosh pit was gettin’ crazy and the security guard had to step in at one point. As Cities Burn, the Louisiana band, was really surprised that it was only our third show and asked why we weren’t touring. I didn’t tense up AT ALL, not once. I was so happy about that. I even stared people in the eyes at the show, I had so much confidence up there. It was a wonderful night, I feel like everything is right. And when I woke up I heard my mom on the phone talking about the show cuz she went and I overheard her saying something about me being such a shy and soft spoken person but when I’m up there I’m something else. I am proud and honored to be a part of something so wonderful and I thank the people who have supported me and helped me throughout.
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moana
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2004 15 February :: 4.32am
ode to a dead joy
crucially, i held you endlessly
my unintended was a murderess
fruitlessly, i lied for you and me
the devil came in a flowered dress
lifelessly, ragged limply
she died below the best
wisely, she learned tirelessly
to carry the burdens of the rest
entirely, she cried spinelessly
over things she cannot change
sadly, all smilessly
no one thought of her as strange
fruitlessly, i held you endlessly
my unintended was a murderess
crucially, i lay lifelessly
to greet the devil in the flowered dress
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