I was lying in bed last night, almost asleep all cuddly and warm and just ready to be peaceful and I said, oh shoot I forgot the laundry in the dryer.
he got up and not only got my laundry but apparently put more in being that when I woke up this morning all of my laundry was folded and nice in a pile in my room.
I dont want to go home because I am going to miss him so much.
I dont want to sleep alone. ever.
we talked about a lot of stuff last night, it was cool.
I mean we always talk about stuff but we talked about us. and our relationship.
I dont know if it was the day, but we talked a good long talk.
he asked me if I felt that my days of wanting to be single were over.
and I said thats hard to answer. they are for the moment. isnt the moment all that matters.
and then he said what are you doing tomorrow around two. lets get married because I dont want to ever lose you.
and I called him ridiculous and crazy and impulsive and said if you find the priest Ill be there.
at this time last year I would have said the same thing to pj.
that is what is so scary.
Im afraid because of him.
how is it that things just stop.
i mean it was a gradual stop and I cannot say that if circumstances were different i would still be in love with him and want to spend the rest of my life with him.
ray said that you can fall in love with anyone under the right circumstances. if you just focus on the good..
I think he is right there.
the next couple of weeks are going to be crazy.
i dont have to work that much and I dont have school. so im just going to sit around and veg it out.
ray has school. and then on friday he is going to texas.
he is going to come back on wednesday.
renewed accent and all.
I heart his accent.
im supposed to clean today.
whoops i dont want to .
I have my final final at 12.
i thought it was at 10 though and so i went there and there was one other person and i was like hey and then the two of us sat there for 15 minutes and i was like um im going to find his office and come to find out it was at noon instead of 10.
whatever. at least it wasnt the other way around.
also ive gotten almost all of my christmas done with.
I have to get gifts for Kristin, heidi, haven, and kristin's mom.
whose name i cannot remember.
crappers.
oh and kaylee.
and ray.
but his is going to wait until after christmas because I am getting him a sweet ass guitar.
he picked it out when we went to guitar center and it is pretty and about $400.
so that will take some saving.
he doesnt know that is what im getting him though.
he is going to get me a kick ass digital camera though, or so he says.
im afraid of what is going to happen when we get into the stage where we dont have that like, learning something new every day and falling more in love every day.
that will be sad and im not going to like it.
we talked about that too though, and he was all like, you have to try to keep those things going, its when you stop trying that things go sour.
i dont know.
i should go take a shower and get all relaxed before this final. its the kicker.
Holla'

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