ddeastroyer
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2005 22 August :: 10.15pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: Notin...
Nnnnooooooo...
School starts in one week from today, that sucks!
I know I don't update much, and it will probably stay that way... Sorry about that I will do what I can... Not really...
Summer Mile Count: 171
2 and 1/4 reports to still do for English... Gotta hustle...
Comments?...
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Leave a Red Hair
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liz
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2005 22 August :: 2.50pm
:: Music: MXPX-PUNK RAWK SHOW
Quote Of The Day
"It smells like shit covered in bird hair!"
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liz
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2005 21 August :: 2.39pm
Quote of To Day
"why the hell would you run unless someone is chasing you?"
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liz
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2005 21 August :: 11.46am
Work really blew last night. we were there late, with about 13 return carts. we can longer make and end of night statement. so while we close at ten i was still running my register at 1030. horrible. take another 15 for counting my drawer down and there is absolutely no way that im getting out on time.
Also i brought in some movies for Leo to borrow and the sensor when off when I walked in the door. so I took it to the courtesy desk and deactivated it. The manager walked over and asked about it and i was like I work here and I brought these in for Leo to borrow. if i stole them why would I bring them back into the store. duh.
so that was easy enough. it might have been funnier if I left them activated so that leo would go off when he left. he carries a messenger so they would have searched the whole thing. but i think he would have been pretty pissed and last night he was really irritated to begin with. there were only 3 people working the floor. covering all of the departments. hence the massive amount of return carts. then i got in a little argument with some woman, because her daughter was ripping candy open and eating it and I said your daughter is eating that candy and she said Oh Well and I said well you have to pay for it and she said im not paying for it and i was like yes, because thats stealing and she is your minor daughter which makes it your responsibility. and she said whatever and paid for it. score one for liz.
anyway. that would be all that happened at work. im almost done packing it all up in my room. actually not really close to almost done at all. but most of what is left is everyday stuff that ill hold until tuesday. all of my clothes except for whats in the wash is packed. most of my shoes. that was a feat let me tell you. ive started rolling up my pennies. im at about thirty dollars now with those so score. and i have all my hygiene stuff and makeup and soap and things that ill need until the day i move so whatever. i guess it okay and good enough for the moment ill finish her up on tuesday.
and so thats what happening around here.
I love you pj.
Leave a Red Hair
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bigty623
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2005 20 August :: 10.28pm
well.. today is was alright, i had 4 soccer games. the first two were at bommer park. i did great out there. but then the second two games were horrible. i don't like the turf at all. i wish we still had the grass fields.
Leave a Red Hair
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liz
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2005 19 August :: 10.23pm
Don't you want me baby, dont you want me OOOhhhh Oeewww ooohh
Well today was the day to finish up this week. Finally, It was one hell of a week ill tell ya.
Two break ups some confusions some bullshit. and one very happy ending.
But lets focus on TODAY,
I got up and pj and I hung out. It was extraordinary.
Then He, Justin, Amanda, Mike and I went to Michgans Adventures.
No story there, it was all sorts of great fun. PJ won me a stuffed Cookie Monster that I am going to cherish forever and ever.
BTW. Amanda McDonald. Im sorry If i seemed short with you by the lockers. I was really dazed and I didnt mean to be rude to you guys. Im so sorry. Afterwards I was like, "wow they must really think that im a bitch" so yeah sorry about that.
Then we went to Taco Bell. then PJ and I went to walmart and i bought stuff for my dorm, some under the bed totes and coffee filters.
lol. 4 Days until move in.
Yayness and trepidation.
So everything is great. Im so happy. Only now you all know that Pj and I do not have the ideal relationship. Yeah its true we Fight, only we never really did fight we just agreed and got on with it. Maybe our relationship is ideal then, because we both know how to communicate what we need and want without getting pissed off..
I dont know how but it works for us.
I love him so much.
BUT either way it was just one silly flat tire on the road that is the rest of my life with PJ, It stopped us for awhile but were on the way now. smooth sailing.
lol
well either way that would be my day.
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liz
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2005 19 August :: 12.37am
ha everything is all happy and good again
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liz
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2005 18 August :: 1.05pm
Being a teenager is so effing stupid.
Thank God Pj loves me. Im so done with all of this bullshit.
No one is PJ. NO ONE. you cant fuck with soul mates my friend cant fuck with em.
I love you Pj
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liz
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2005 18 August :: 12.08pm
heres to hoping that the two hours of sleep i got could make up for all that i lost last night.
I was almost done crying i thought, apparently i just ran out of energy. Now that Im slightly refreshed its back to gut wrenching sobs and screaming.
One more day of this and I dont know that I will be able to make it.
Im so fucking tore up
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bigty623
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2005 18 August :: 11.35am
well... last night was horrible at soccer, i screwed my knee up again. i also found out that i'm probably not gonna start saturday :(
so when i got home i went over to talk to jessica it was great. we sat by the pool and look at the stars. It felt so good. i really do love her alot
Ty
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liz
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2005 18 August :: 7.09am
Sorry to clog up your friends page...
what i really hate is knowing the next morning that everything i did was wrong.
talking to my mom and having her verify what i knew in my heart but shoved aside for practicalities sake.
You will know what this is the next time we talked. soon hopefully i dont think that ill be able to make those two weeks. im already half dead and know what i want finally.
apparently it takes one sleepless night and Deidra to enlighten.
I should have talked to her first. no offense to those who tried to help but well shes Deidra and a damn good mentor.
so now im off to the drs. I look like total shit.
huge ass bags under my eyes all that stuff. you know.
I never really understood that song "Praying for Daylight"
It finally set in around 5:30 this morning as I finished up disk two of the second season of Sex and the City.
I really hope that we work this out. well its not much working out anymore Im finally straight I just hope that it not to late in the game to fix everything. I shouldnt post this i should be talking to you. Im done. I love you.
Leave a Red Hair
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liz
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2005 18 August :: 4.50am
fucking god I hope that your forgiving.
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Leave a Red Hair
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liz
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2005 18 August :: 4.47am
well two hours left until i can "get up"
or at least until my alarm goes off.
this day isnt starting so well maybe cuz yesterday never ended.
work is going to suck.
who am I kidding everything sucks.
Leave a Red Hair
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liz
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2005 18 August :: 3.22am
with three hours until my alarm is set to go off i wonder if I should even bother trying to sleep anymore.
my head is splitting.
I still love you, you know.
Leave a Red Hair
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liz
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2005 18 August :: 1.11am
for the first time maybe in 1 year 4 months and about 24 days. i cannot sleep.
I cant breathe.
I cant eat.
I cant do anything well i can type this bullshit down.
Is this life, is this what it supposed to feel like, breaking up is part of life. well fuck that. theres nothing worth this kind of pain.
FUCKING NOTHING do you hear.
maybe it would have been easier to suck it up and pretend that nothing was wrong but he would have known. he always knew YOU DID> thats maybe the hardest part isnt it. someone your so connected with just cut. just gone. not forever until two weeks. i wouldnt take me back. why should you.
I dont see this getting any easier how about you.
I had a life planned. a fucking life.
Austin Renee
fuck
how can something so rational be so irrational at the same time
I dont even want to be alive at this point.
my head is splitting open from crying.
No One else knows me like you do..
that fucking giddy face.
and the goosebumps on my arm.
and you definatly no one knows you like I do. the way your lower jaw juts out, and your stupid red hair. gahd i love it and right now i hate it.
and ive got this fucking painting of us on the couch and we are so fucking happy.
and prom
and the dukes of hazzard,
and everything that is so reminiscent of what we had.
no one had that. not like we did. we were made for each other so bad.
the way my phone plays la la when you called. im afraid to turn on the radio because every song reminds me of you.
how you got so excited when you heard, you say it best.
of course one of favorites because they are all one of my favorites.
next week i move. if it werent for you id be headed north.
I need you so bad. is two weeks up yet.
i hate when i make mistakes.
im so mad at you for putting me here.
but its overpassed by hating myself for not being able to forgive and forget.
I dont know if i should bother with bed because i have to go to get up in about 5 hours
why bother
we wont get to terrorize kfc now.
im not going to michigan adventures with the german. its just not worth it if your not there.
nothing is. i have to stop now. everything aches from this crazy bawling.
i hate when the posts take forever because you have breaks where you just broke down.
I love you. i hope you know that. i hope you know how much. not as much as you love me. only maybe you can shove that aside and move on with your life. i cant.
i fucked up big this time. i just hope that in the end you can forgive me.
i hate being on the side thats at fault.
I just know that in the end we will either be done forever or stronger and happier.
I hope its the latter. i have faith that it is.
you said that right. we have to have faith in us. believe that we were meant to be.
i believe that now. now that its too late.
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