bigty623
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2005 6 June :: 12.13pm
so how is everyone doing? i'm doing all right. so what is everyone doing this summer?
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liz
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2005 5 June :: 8.49pm
DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMMIT!!!!!
its all over now. i officially have no connections to this school anymore.
tri-county won.
we lost
losing sucks
just like danny boy.
bad sportsmanship sucks worse.
growing up sucks the most.
i cant take it.
i cant stop crying.
losing sucks so bad.
i dont want it all to be over
5 years.
thats how long ive been on a team with most of the team.
two years with everyone else.
next year i have to go to gvsu. and try out and probably not make it.
but i have to try because who am I if I don't.
no one else seems to care that much.
i love this game so much. i refuse to be without it.
somehow im relieved though. happy to be done to stop pushing myself so hard all of the time.
and at the same contradicting time im completely devastated.
this game and this team were a huge portion of my life
the balance.
the one thing that stays steady
yeah i wasnt a golden girl and i didnt get to play first but i did know what to expect and once i got over my disapoint i was happy to be there. i was happy with my swing which mr. wagner finally helped to improve. sometimes. well im not sure what happened im thinking a combo of pieces of his advice and some self esteem.
the self esteem i got on the team was great.
right field kinda sucks. but I felt so good about myself during practices and when i was hitting. i had my crap days i mean everyone does. but there were definately more good days than not. im going to miss this team so much. and while i hate working out and running and all that jazz. its important to keep on keepin' on and to have something to work for and to know i worked hard for it was worth so much more than the breathe that lost while i was pushing.
huffin and puffin all the way. ill be honest this season started and i was scared and judgemental. i had people who i wasnt fond of at all and completely didnt want to accept but i did and look what happened, new friends.
yay.
to quote mr.smith forever.
"I LOVE this game"
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liz
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2005 3 June :: 1.51pm
i wish i had some memories...
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liz
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2005 3 June :: 11.36am
somewhere along the line im gonna have to grow up.
or not.
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liz
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2005 3 June :: 10.18am
well. work is good. softball is mediocre to good. i quickly get over the sad moments by making jokes and pretending that my own failures and his lack of confidence don't bother me.
in other news districts are tomorrow. they are really super important.
my mom called and said she was coming so i gave her directions and all the junk and then told her that its five dollars to get it and she said then she can't make it.
WHAT?!?!?!?!?
I see where i rate. I have one thing in my life that i care about. softball. she came to graduation which is cool but if i had to choose between her coming to this game or graduation i would have chosen the game. I mean come on and pretend to be a decent mother for gods sake. Honestly woman you haven't been to one of my games in three freaking years. You go to almost all of Becca's games and granted they are only 10 minutes away as opposed to 45 but at least one a season. especially when you easily could have gone to Greenville since that is only 15 minutes away from you. I realize that you don't have a lot financially but cut back for like two days and you could get ten dollars for you and Jim to come here. how about don't smoke for one day. that would be enough but no thats too much at the same time because pretty much everything in this world is more important to you than i am. Im sorry that its like that but with everything that you have ever done or not done as the case may be you have isolated yourself from me. Every event that was ever important to me with the exception of graduation (which by the way I dont really care about) you have missed. You get angry and say that Deidra is tying to take your place or whatever but seriously you haven't done much to stop it. Im sorry that she has been there for everything. every doctors appointment. every game she could make it to. every concert. all my college tours. the orientations, the parent teacher conferences. EVERYTHING that you couldnt fit into your busy schedule of soap operas and therapy. THis is really just icing on the cake. you hurt me so much by not even pretending to care about the things that are important to me. good thing you have three other daughters. the loss of this one shouldnt mean too much to you.
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bigty623
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2005 2 June :: 11.02pm
well today was all right, nothing exciting happend. went to physical therapy, i have a feeling that nothin fun is going to happen this summer except for going to texas.
i figured out that i have i don't have a chance with ethier of them i have a feeling
i guess im not ment to have a girl friend. but why, whats wrong with me. i know it has to do with my looks, i know i am fat. but i thought it dont have to do with looks.
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shannonw55
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2005 2 June :: 2.43pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: John Mayer - Daughters
End of the School Year Entry
This was one crazy year.
The last day of school was pretty good. It's always sad though, when you know that something is completely finished and there's no way to change it if you ever wanted to. It's just completely done. We've just closed my freshman chapter. I dunno.. It's alright though. I'm sick of being the youngin of the high school. I'll have a fun sophomore year.
(The Picnic)
(Me, Jamie, and Cherie in bio)
More Pictures
Read more..
Quotes of the Week
Read more..
Year In Review Quiz
Read more..
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liz
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2005 2 June :: 8.17am
WEll that was a good morning then wasn't it.
haha my boyfriend loves me.
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liz
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2005 1 June :: 8.01pm
hey pj. the hotmail is being like the crappiest crap that ever crapped so while i will not be replying. but email again so that i can read it in the morning and feel moderately happy. eh?
I love you
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liz
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2005 1 June :: 7.53pm
well its wednesday. only two more days until maybe i get to see pj. not being able to talk to him really really sucks. so much. it just all around sucks. almost as much as todays game.
we won 11-1 so that part didnt suck but reed really like super makes me feel bad about myself. are you supposed to be feeling bad because of your coach. i thought that coaches were supposed to be inspiring or something. who care only a couple of weeks left. which is pretty good cuz i pretty much have my own demons to battle that i thought were gone but in fact are not. work was okay. grill is way better than anything else. its super easy. pj i love you. i wish i could talk to you.
i loveyou
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liz
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2005 31 May :: 7.05pm
irritated. to an extreme measure.
in other news in a few days i should have my very own copy of the lorax by dr. seuss for my own reading pleasure which i purchased of the old ebay.
rock on
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Jacqui-Chan
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2005 31 May :: 4.11pm
:: Mood: sore and hyperactive
:: Music: none
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut, my weakness is that I care too much.
So, haven't updated here in a while. Haven't been on in a while really. So much stuff has been going on. I feel overwhelmed. Although softball ending gives me less headaches, I still miss it like crazy. I loved that team. We'll never have a closer team than that one. I'm still deciding whether or not I'll play next year. It's iffy. But yea.
Open court for tennis tomorrow and Thursday! BOMG DIGGITY!! I'm so going to both if I can. June 6th is the parks and rec. camp. I'm mucho excited about that one!!!! I love love love tennis.
So Steph's open house is Saturday. Fun stuff. We're having a bonfire and everything, it's gonna' rock. Jake and Heather's are on that day too. Then Sunday we're going to even more open houses. Next Thursday is Abby's... that'd be my cousin. It sounds coolish. It's on the "party floor" (as I call it) of my aunts office building. You can walk right out onto the roof from it. That's where I watched the fireworks during the coastguard festival. Bomb dig. But yea.
So I guess I should go, I'm WAY hyper and I think if I don't move I may die. So see ya' later. Chao.
-Me-
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shannonw55
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2005 31 May :: 12.45pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: John Mayer - Split Screen Sadness
Just Rambling.
It's about time to change my display picture.
Does anyone remember the name of the quiz site that Gunnie made? I used to use it all the time but I totally forgot.
One more school day and a biology class to go. I'm definetly ready to stop being a freshman.
It's so nice outside. I want to go home. There's nothing to do here. All my work is done for this class so I'm on Woohu rambling about nothing.
Student Senate meeting tomorrow.
We get to pick where prom is going to be held, I think. It's neat that we get that kind of authority. The place will be excellent. I'm so excited for next year. I'm worried about my classes though. I wish no one had told me that they were hard. It's much easier to get discouraged and give up when someone tells you that they couldn't do it I guess. I drove in my dad's truck yesterday. My mom told me that it was too wide and that it would be too difficult for me to drive. But then my dad told me that there was nothing wrong with it whatsoever and that I'd be able to drive it fine. Keep in mind he hadn't seen me drive since my very very first time, which was pretty bad. I did a good job, though. We drove all the way back from Whitehall, Michigan. (About an hour away.) It was a nice drive. I was telling my mom how much I'm gonna miss Cedar Springs when I go to college. There's something really comforting about this small town. As much as I completely hate it sometimes, it's nice to know everyone and everything around me. This school really isn't as bad as the students talk about it. We've got a beautiful, new high school. We've got good teachers. It's not that bad. I think I'll miss it someday. I'm going to live next year to the very fullest as a sophomore.
"...and that's the way this wheel keeps working now."
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liz
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2005 31 May :: 12.08pm
hey pj. where might you be. im pretty much freaking out over here?
*cry*
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liz
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2005 31 May :: 9.53am
so all the bullshit is over. whatever.
im tired and bitchy and feeling pretty damn honest so here is what ive got on graduation and all that
graduation as a whole was enjoyable. as much as i was dreading treeking the bleachers i made it through. clumsly. but throught none the less. i had a good time making a funny picture and writing on my cap and it would have been great with the keen exception of one thing. stephanie karns' speech.
thank you for reminding the rest of the world that your christian but this was graduation not church. i respect your relationship with jesus christ but your speech was completely inappropriate for the situation. i know your dad is a pastor and all so preaching comes naturally to you but honestly, lay off for a change. you can believe whatever you want but dont push it off on me and everyone else in the senior class. get some tact.
so that was graduation.
the all night party was cool. well okay.
had i known the party before i paid for it i would have not gone. im sure that there is something much more useful that i could have spent the money on. pretty much anything actually. but had i not gone i would have regretted it anyway so there you have it a catch 22. at least by going i didnt have to listen to pj who told me that i just HAD to go. eer.
the next day i had a game and we won. and mr reed was in a good mood and the game was well played and everyone was cool. finally only the last season game. shoot. well thats all. ive got stuff to do. loves
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