liz
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2005 11 May :: 3.03pm
well i think its funny how irony works.
today i took my radioactive iodine treatments.
then i went back to school. against what my doctor says because apparently radiation is dangerous. either way im pretty radioactive.
but cooper wouldnt let me in, because there was a chemical spill
now that is some sort of coincidence.
so now, no softball,
no school tomorrow and all that good stuff,
only that kinda sucks.
at least in this capacity that little pansy and his loudmouthed friend and finally going to realize that they are in fact not invincible.
well either way. i guess that, that is all ive got for the day. later guys.
love pj
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bigty623
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2005 11 May :: 9.14am
hey kids,
hows it going? i'm really board, i'm in ahmeds class right now. were doing some project. i'm almost done so i am updating in this. my life has been alright, it has its up's and downs
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jacqui-chan
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2005 10 May :: 10.22pm
:: Mood: meh
:: Music: Steph singing
Show Me -My Fair Lady-
Don't talk of stars Burning above; If you're in love,
Show me! Tell me no dreams
Filled with desire. If you're on fire,
Show me! Here we are together in the middle of the night!
Don't talk of spring! Just hold me tight!
Anyone who's ever been in love'll tell you that
This is no time for a chat! Haven't your lips
Longed for my touch? Don't say how much,
Show me! Show me! Don't talk of love lasting through time.
Make me no undying vow. Show me now!
Sing me no song! Read me no rhyme!
Don't waste my time, Show me!
Don't talk of June, Don't talk of fall!
Don't talk at all! Show me!
Never do I ever want to hear another word.
There isn't one I haven't heard.
Here we are together in what ought to be a dream;
Say one more word and I'll scream!
Haven't your arms Hungered for mine?
Please don't "expl'ine," Show me! Show me!
Don't wait until wrinkles and lines
Pop out all over my brow,
Show me now!
I love love love that song. It's exactly how I feel. No one seems to get that... words are just words. Show me how you feel! My one request is that you just SHOW me how you feel and stop talking about it.
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shannonw55
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2005 10 May :: 5.29pm
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: No Doubt - Hollaback Girl
These elections are vicious. If you didn't hear, our group won.
This is what I wrote in my Xanga journal. I think it kind of gets my point across...
Read more..
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liz
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2005 9 May :: 7.50pm
alright so, softball
gotta love it.
I devote 6 days a week to this sport.
my blood and tears and all that good shit.
what am I getting in return ladies and gentlemen oh yes thats right
im tired.
im irritated.
and after every game its become routine to fight with my parents because i hate playing so much that i have nothing but a pissy attitude all of the time
im so burnt out and there is nothing to be done about this.
maybe if i felt like at least my physical state were getting better, but its just not. im so dragged out all of the time and i know that this is because of the whole noduel thing but seriously im dying here.
i threw the bat and coach reprimanded me. great
he apologized because he said that he had to because the ump was there. and i know its really none of my business but why didnt he tell mary in the last game when she threw the bat.
gah. sometimes seriously its so obvious who the favorites are.
its easy to see because the rest of us cannot do anything right.
i try so hard and i feel like everything is wrong, if i finally get one thing figured out then we move on to something different.
its killing. and poor pam just get yelled at all the time for absolutely nothing. she wont play next year, thats certain to me at this point. why would she. i wouldnt if i were her,
she isnt playing the position that she wants and she is constantly scrutinized. larissa quit today but once again who can really blame her. i would have been gone a long time ago if i were her.
i remember when i loved this game. i dont feel that anymore. like going to games and practices. just being there and feeling like a team was enough and now im just too too tired to enjoy anything at all. i thought that i would like to try college ball but im just not good enough. and im not strong enough. pretty much everything blows at this time.
i love pj though.
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shannonw55
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2005 9 May :: 6.43pm
:: Mood: down
:: Music: Coldplay - See You Soon
God... It still hurts. I'm tired of dwelling on this.
This song isn't helping much either.
"You lost your trust..."
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liz
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2005 9 May :: 11.43am
Im in econ and it is really really hot in here. im like dying. ahh
just finished a test up and i really cant wait to get out of school. well at least get out of econ.
oh by the way. if you want a senior pic. let me know cuz i really lost track of who got one and who didnt.
my open house is
JUNE 18 ONE Till FIVE
be there.
or dont.
i dont really care one way or the other.
game tonight.
its gonna be a hot one.
shoot dog.
i wish i would have brought my reading with me cuz im super super bored.
cant wait for monday and cant wait for no school.
econ sucks and i cant wait to not have this class anymore. SEriously.
i could really use some contentment right about now.
cuz im not feeling it.
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liz
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2005 9 May :: 9.20am
im struggling.
to stay afloat I guess.
i need something.
im feeling empty
i know that nothing is right.
only everything is right at the same time
im pretty sure i believe that god exists but at the same time. i feel like im just swallowing the same pill that my parents have been handing me for years.
then i told my parents that I dont believe that jesus is any sort of savior and they then criticized me. and made comments about it the rest of the day. until i told them that judgemental people like them were exactly what has turned me away from christianity.
its not that i dont want to believe its that i just cant. im trying to.
i started to read the bible. just for the sake of reading it. and the maybe it would give me some sort of clarity. then I found a flaw already on the first two pages.
it says that on the sixth day god created man and woman.
then later he puts man in the garden of eden. yet he has to create a companion for adam out of his rib. what happened to the woman he created on the sixth day?
pj said that in the flaws that are presented that, that is where the faith comes in.
how can i have faith in something that I find flawed. and on those lines, why would i want to worship something that I fear.
god-fearing that is how some people refer to themselves. i dont understand. respect dosent equal fear. I want to be respecting the essence that I worship not fear him.
i dont even know what to think anymore. but unless i believed in my subconsious then why would I be so concerned about finding an answer. I need something. so i intend to keep educatiing myself until i find some sort of answer.
out
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liz
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2005 8 May :: 4.17pm
the weekend is almost over now. i could go for some softserve. i need to clean my room. the tournament went pretty well i guess. it had its moments. im pretty burnt out though. ive been sleeping since pj left at 1. so theres that.i cant wait until we are done with school. only down to 4 days now. five for most but i have my radioactive iodine final deal on wednesday so at most ill be there for a few hours. well see i guess. game that night though. i really need a new job. one where i can get some hours during the day. that would just be nice to have some money for a change. ive got about forty buck, so combined with mondays check ill have 20 left after i finally get around to paying my insurance. im okay though. i will definately make it. i always do. i applied at meijers though. for third shift so maybe that would be cool if i got a job there. for those of you about to comment. yes i know ramiro works there. but im not catty. i like ramiro. hes an okay guy and a job is a job. mitch works there as well, not too big of a deal really. im pretty mature and i can handle myself. i dont have to e a big baby about things that i did in the past. especially things that were my own doing. but ive really got to clean my room. so there you have it.
pj i hope your having a marvelous time at your bbq. i love you./
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bigty623
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2005 6 May :: 10.43pm
well today has been interesting. my uncle got inerviewed today by channel 8. it was funny. so he is probably gonna be on the news tonight. the people that interveiwed him were really pushy it was funny
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shannonw55
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2005 6 May :: 4.26pm
:: Mood: giddy
:: Music: Dave Matthews Band - Crash
Today was such a good day.
I brought my guitar to school.
I got $1.99 from crazy ppl who threw money in my case while I was playing. lol I'd say that's pretty good.
It was so exciting. People actually asked me to play... :) eeee fun.
I wanna do that more often. That was great. Maybe like the last day of school.
So today was election day. I don't know if we won. We'll find out Monday.
I dunno. Today was just... randomly really good. yay
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shannonw55
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2005 4 May :: 4.34pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Bright Eyes - It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friends
Conor Oberst is exactly 10 years older than me.
How awesome is that?
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liz
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2005 4 May :: 12.08pm
with twelve minutes left in this class i can hardly stay awake anymore. next hour art.
i cant imagine ahh
yo nesicito un nap.
im so so so so so tired
i want to sleep and never ever wake up only i know that tonight i have a big big game that i need to wake up for.
shhoooooottt.
miss fournier is the sub this hour and she really reminds me of Jen from work. only nice.
well they just sound the same i guess.
lesbians ya know.
either way i guess i should sign out and work on waking up.
maybe some orange juice and a butterfinger.
jhhhmmm
pj i love you so sos soo soso sososososos much
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liz
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2005 4 May :: 11.28am
well here i am in econ
mr. busens wife is having a child and do you know what that means. that means that he is not ever going to be my teacher again. beautiful.
thats what that is.
anyway lowell game tonight. thats cool
i didnt get to do my book report today because there wasnt enough time.
its a bummer too because i had on a Clockwork Orange shirt and I worked on the stuff a lot last night.
i guess i could make it better.
or i could rehearse it some more.
I have until friday now like originally planned because tomorrow is the art field trip and that is pretty cool too.
senior banquet tomorrow.
this has been a busy week but it isnt going by very quickly.
either way. ive got some stuff to do. like learn about anthony burgess or finish up my worksheet for brit lit that is makeup work.
well i love pj
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liz
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2005 3 May :: 8.03pm
wow. thats ridiculous we are adults. lets not ever do anything stupid like that again. I love you too much to hurt this much about something so completely asinine. its a bummer that i was looking forward to seeing you so much and then that had to happen. either way I love you a whole lot. this stupid whatever it was, happened to be just another reminder that i cannot live without you.
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