.j.e.s.s.
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2008 17 March :: 2.07pm
i want to quit school.
really really bad.
i need to figure something else out that i could go to school for. i want to be a translator or something. blah ....
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.j.e.s.s.
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2008 10 March :: 9.56pm
chemical imbalances...........
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.j.e.s.s.
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2008 2 March :: 10.10pm
so i had this dream that kevin, andy sischo, jay from high school with red hair, phil maas, and other people were walking around trying to kill me and justin bloss and other people with these lazer gun thingys and they had these things that zapped us and hurt like hell. it was terrifying.
stop trying to kill me! me and justin killed andy with a shovel. and sam hamilton tried to help me by telling me the code to shut off the lights.
2 i guess you do then..s |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2008 22 February :: 3.52pm
i dont think you're supposed to feel this way for a couple years but even still, knowing that, i can't help but keep thinking about it.
i feel like it'd be the only thing i'd be good at. the only thing that would totally fufill me.
i can't even cry when i really really want to i think it's like shut off like a switch. it only allows about 4 tears to slip through.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2008 21 February :: 1.40pm
so i honestly just fell asleep during my chemistry midterm. i mean it's not a huge deal since i still was able to finish it on time, but damn. i'm 99% sure that in the midst of my nap, i laughed outloud during the total silence because i was having some sort of dream thing and laughing at something roman said... it kind of jolted me out my sleep momentarily but yeah i'm pretty sure i did a snort/kind of laugh thing. embarassing. also my professor came up to me i'm not sure if that's what woke me up or if i just felt her presence and woke up on my own .... i was just like "sorry" and she was like "oh you're just takign a break" and I was like ummm yeah but i'm done so its okay...even though i wasn't.
i can't take school anymore. every test i take i just want to get done so bad i just fill in letters. god i'm so bad i know. i just ...........ugh i hate tests.
ughghghgh i seriously just want to quit school so bad. i want to! i have these major doubts i wont make it all the way through so why am i wasting my time now. what will happen if i get a bad grade in even ONE of my classes? i will lose my scholarship and then what? i have no idea. maybe roman and i should just move to ohio and he should work for his dad and make big bucks.
nah....
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.j.e.s.s.
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2008 12 February :: 11.17am
i have ear infections in both my ears i want to just stay home and sleep so bad. i feel like crap because i have been sick for 2 weeks straight and now both my ears are all weird and i can't hear anything out of either of them ... all i hear is myself talking or breathing or whatever ahhhhhhhhh it's so annoying. this has been going on for 6 days but my other ear just started doing it yesterday. so now its both my ears which is really weird i have never heard of having ear infections in both ears. the worst part is when i sleep - i sleep on my stomach and it hurts no matter which way i lay my head because each ear hurts when i'm not laying it on the pillow ........ owwww
i called the doctor today but i dont know if they'll give me a prescription without going in there and i dont have time..
i have to go to school until 5:30 today and then i work at 6 until midnight and then tomorrow i have to open so i have to be there at 6:45 am but it is a short shift luckily
i'm so ready for break. i wish i was going on vacation..........
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.j.e.s.s.
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2008 10 February :: 12.47pm
okay so eventful day already but i will try to just give the shorthand version
no heat in my car so that means no defrost so that means can't see
been driving it that way for like a week, was planning to have roman fix it today, ordered the part and everything
had to work at 9:45 this morning... left in my car i could see okay but not the greatest
got a little further on byron center and it was total white out and my windsheild and windows were icing over, it was really hard to see, i pulled over in the furthest lane and just sat there with my hazards on.
didn't know what to do but i knew i wasn't going to try to drive because the last time i drove in the wind blowing white out conditions i promised myself i would never do it again. i told my self i would sit there all day until a tow truck came and got me if i had to.
i drove a little bit further and pulled off the road on the side. i sat in my car with no heat for TWO AND A HALF HOURS.
MY BEST FRIEND EVER JESSIE HAZEN and he GREAT FIANCE RYAN came and got me because they are the greatest. they can vouch for me that the conditions were HORRIFIC!!!! when jess got out of the car 5 feet in front of me i oculdn't even tell if it was ryan or jess. that's how bad visibilaty was!
so ryan drove my car to the nearest parking lot and me and jess drove ryans car in front and jess bought me hand warmers cuz she's a sweetie so i could defrost my toes a little. lol i'm SO COLD still and this was like an hour ago
oh yeah and i called into work and this poor girl had to cover for me because fucking midnite sun and cruise is retarted and they dont give a SHIT about their employees and whether they are going to die or not. no one should be driving today! but they dont care. they need to keep their tanning salon open for the 2 customers that might come in today.
lastly... roman just called me and was lkike shouting in the background and stuff it really scared me but he told me a girls car flipped overr and there are tons of cars - at least 20 all collided and flipped and 2 semis smashed into each other and the girl's dog is in romans car right now because her's is flipped over. but he is okay but tons of other people aren't
okay, NOT that i am glad people got in accidents, i would never want that and that really sucks but how come i never get to see the neat stuff like that. i mean it's not neat, it's just kind of interesting to see i guess. rroman sees people flip their cars and stuff all the time, i have never seen it. lol i know that sounds really bad but i still think it'd be .... i can't think of the word ot use that would be okay but yeah...
anyway, i hate michigan winters and i can't wait to move out of this state.
2 i guess you do then..s |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2008 3 February :: 9.46pm
he just threw the remote into the wall acting like an animal. he never acts like that and it is dumb .............wtf. god people are pissing me off.
2 i guess you do then..s |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2008 2 February :: 11.53pm
why am i still awake? i feel really weird..................................
i'm watching like the dumbest show ever. and i dont want to go to work tomorrow. and i feel sick.
this lady started crying...a client that comes in all the time at work the other day. she like started crying and i felt so bad for her and i'm just like um you want a hug.... i felt really bad awwwwwwwww
shit shit hsti ahsd;lfkajsd;lfkajsdf;lkajsdf;lkajsdflkasjf;laksjdf;lkasjdf;lksjdf;lkasdjf;alksdjf;lakjf;alksfja;lskfja;sf
i hate nights like this.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2008 30 January :: 12.57am
I HATE MY JOB BECAUSE THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT THEIR EMPLOYEES WHATSOEVER. I JUST WORKED UNTIL MIDNIGHT AND THEN ATTEMPTED TO DRIVE HOME IN THIS AWFUL HORRIBLE HORRIBLE WEATHER. i swear to you people, you could NOT see a THING not a thing@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just pure white that's all you can see. it was the scariest thing ever i'm not kidding. i called roman and he didn't have his phone, i called jess, and i then i called my mom and woke her up i was crying saying i dont know what to do i dont know what to do becaue you couldn't even tell if you were on the road or driving into someoen's front yard seirously!!! you cludln't see anything and traffic lights were out and omg
taht seriulsy i think wwas the scariest thing i have ever done. ahhhh thanks mom for hleping me get home lol
2 i guess you do then..s |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2008 25 January :: 9.54am
i am never drinking again. ugh kill me and i have to work from 4 to midnight. i'm gonna die.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2008 21 January :: 3.29pm
so i actually feel like i can be a nurse. i'm liking my classes better and understanding stuff. because the program is so new and my school is so small, i have my classes with basically all the same 30 people because that is how many people got accepted into the program. i'm realkzing that i am just as smart as these people and they are struggling in areas just like i was/am. so yay.
we dont get to disect cadavers. we only get to disect cats but oh well. i guess we can learn more because we can disect them more where as with cadavers-because so many people have to use them and they have to last a whole year, you can only do a little.
i can't type well beause i have fake nails on. i haven't got my naisl done in like 2 years but i really wanted to last week so i got acrylilics on. just a frech manicure. not like i sued to get.
roman and i are doing so well. when we first moved in together we had this period of like 2 months where we fought really bad like we'd be fine and then fight fine and then fight but we have really gotten over that ---well i mean, obviously since that was a long time ago but my point is ...we hve just grown from it all and i'm really happy.
we are probably going to florida to visit his gramma and have soem fun for our spring breaks. the bad part is that are spring breaks aren't at the same time and so i might not be able to ugugghghgh but that would really suck because my birthday is during his spring breeak so if he went and i didn't i'd be all alone on my bday.
i can't believe i'm gonna be 20 ..that seems so old! weird.
roman and i were talking about the wedding which was supposed to be in may 2009 but the more we talked about it. the more we thought it would be a smart idea to just wait until we were done with college completely.
ummmmmmmmmm
i really want some chocolate chip cookies. cya
4 i guess you do then..s |
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moomoo
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2008 15 January :: 11.14pm
So I havent written in forever, pretty much because I have been super busy. I started school again, kind of think its what I needed for the moment. I actually have a class with someone I know, so thats pretty cool. Seems like it usually never works out that way. But it seems like things are starting to get back on track. Work is going good, am glad I have a job I actually like. Living on my own is actually pretty nice, think am gonna keep it this way. Its a lot less stressful. Plus I think the cats like having all the run around room, yup there spoiled. I just gotta print out some more pics so I can fill all my picture frames I got for christmas. The holidays went pretty well, but at the same time glad there over. Well other then that its just been the normal work and hanging out with friends and now some school.
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2007 22 December :: 5.50pm
Today Roman and I were driving with Cesar in the backseat on 44th street and we were going east right past the mall and this moron in a black truck pulls out from the mall all the way on the right and we were in the middle lane and he crosses all 4 lanes to get over to the left to go in the MI turn around thing.
it was wet out and he started losing control and fish tailing a little and then goes up on the median where a big green road sign with two poles is and he smashes into it right square in the middle and the sign breaks and flies over his truck
AND HE JUST KEPT ON DRIVING!! and pulled into the turn around to go west bound. It was so insane!!! our radio was off so we could hear everything. it was like a movie it was so unreal. i couldn't believe he just kept driving like it was no big deal at all. he is lucky that the sign didn't fly into the road and hurt someone else. he was going way too fast and almost hit us when he was crossing all those lanes. roman honked the horn and then he smashed the sign. it was crazy.
and then we got his plate # and called the police and reported it. hahaa fucker.
it was nuts!!!
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.j.e.s.s.
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2007 21 December :: 10.24pm
A- in spanish ...yay even tho she is a fricken crazy lady and crushed my dream of becoming fluent in spanish because she is the only one who teaches it so i dropped spanish 2
B in Cellular Biology which is a class that we were all guinea pigs in because it was the first time it was taught at Davenport and the book was RIDICULOUS and it was a very tough class that I considered dropping because it was so hard. So i'm very pleased with a B
Haven't got the last two back yet but I should be getting a B+ in Intercultural Communication and an A- in Healthy Living.
yay
i'm so glad i'm done with school for a while. and my school is sooooooooo retarded. We just ended classes THIS week ... my online classes aren't even officially done until TOMORROW. and yet still we start class again on January 6th. Everyone else has like a month of break and we get like 2 wks. thats so dumb! grr i hate davenport.
anyway..... my baby makes the best cookies ever omg. the other night i just sat on my ass and watched the movie hairspray while Roman just said he wanted to make chocolate chip cookies. I had to show him where the recipe and measuring cups were and what the difference btwn a tablespoon and teaspoon are but then he was all on his own and he did everything by himself lol and made the best cookies ever. and they looked picture perfect they were like perfectly round and perfectly brown on top and just perfect. they were so delicious. yummm the best part is that i didn't have to make them.
anyway i am excited for christmas but sad that roman will be leaving for like 4 ish days so that will suck but i dont have to work until NEXT FRIDAY....eek.. it's kind of not good but work has not been giving me any hours at all. i should start getting more as soon as the first rolls around but for now I nanny 3 days of the week so that will hold me over. I nanny for a little boy named Cesar and he is adorable and fun. so i really like it. it is a great job for me because i get to be around kid(s) again which i missed a lot since i left the daycare and the best part is that it gives me a break from being at work at midnite sun and cruise all the time. its nice to have two jobs and separate the time between the two. and i only watch him for 2 hours (not even a full 2 hours) on monday and wednesday and then from 9-5 on saturday. it's not bad at all.
so yay.
roman got me some cool christmas presents. these pjs that i love. we were supposed to wait until sunday for our christmas but we couldn't wait and yesterday we opened our gifts. he relaly liked his too. so yay
so yeah i'm doing pretty well. lol
that's an update on my life.
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