Random confessions of a song writer

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Random confessions of a song writer

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chelthesmell

:: 2009 4 September :: 12.40am
:: Mood: curious

Is there anything cool going on this weekend???

3 i guess you do then..s | Leave a message if you care..

.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 27 August :: 5.11pm

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmmm that it's all for the best?
of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say?
Mmmm that it's just what we need
you decided this
whatcha say?
Mmmm what did she say?

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2010 19 August :: 5.08pm

i hate when people talk about their BLACK friends or their BLACK boyfriend loudly and often like... trying to prove that they have friends of another race or something... there's this girl that is constantly talking about her BLACk boyfriend and showing his picture and saying how she doesn't care what color people are ... "you could be purple. as long as you're cool"

that's nice and everything but i dont know it bothers me when people talk about it like they are trying to prove a point or something.

annoying.

2 i guess you do then..s | Leave a message if you care..

.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 13 August :: 11.58pm

i wish i had longer legs and perfect skin and

money.

shitty shit. theres so much more to say but it doesn't even matter.

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 8 August :: 12.36am

oh and i'm considering buying a spray tanning machine for like 200-300 bucks and like offering spray tanning services ...somehow... someway... i'm not really sure how it would work but it just seems like a good idea.................

i dont know.

because think about it, if i have a tanning package- that is bed tanning.. it costs me at least 40 bucks a month which works out to....woo! $480... yeah. thats a shit load.

now if i had a spray tanning package it would be even more.. let's say 60 bucks a month... $720..

now the machine is a one time fee. and as soon as i figure out how much the solution costs i can do some more math. but i know it would at least SAVE me money in the long run because i am never going to be okay with being naturally pale. i can't do it. i just feel icky.

and then i could like somehow do spray tan parties or schedule appointments i dunoooooooo maybe i could work something out with people that do purse parties or whats it called... pure romance. thats it. i could like do spray tans there

i dont fricken know i'm just thinking theres a good idea somewhere in there with all this bed tanning scares about arsenic and shit.

roman thinks i should start my own business i just dont know.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

what do you think about a business that gives you a paycheck and when you go to cash it there are no funds in their account??? do you think that's shitty? i do.

thats why i fricken call them out on it and then they act like its no big deal so i get pissed. whatev........

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 8 August :: 12.32am

i nevvvvvvvvverrrrrrrrr used to have a problem falling asleep. now it seems like i never can. i hope this is just a short phase because i love my sleep.

i just think it's really weird how different everyone is from each other. like i think it's weird i have friends that like, live with their parents whereas i am married and cooked a new mexican/noodle casserole thing for my HUSBAND tonight and like.... that was exciting.

it's strange how different everyone's lives are.

now if my job situation, money situation, and house situation could catch up maturity wise to the rest of my life... that'd be great.

someday.....

ps. jessie kae i love you and i hope everything is getting better. call me when you are able.

2 i guess you do then..s | Leave a message if you care..

.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 7 August :: 1.17pm

does anyone know of anywhere hiring?

1 i guess you do then.. | Leave a message if you care..

.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 3 August :: 4.21pm

oh my gosh so you know how i said i felt guilty for not buying that thing from the lady from khazacstan?

now i am looking at local news and i read this:

28th St. hit-run victim
from Kazakhstan
Suspect lodged in jail
Updated: Monday, 03 Aug 2009, 4:17 PM EDT
Published : Sunday, 02 Aug 2009, 11:35 AM EDT

WYOMING, Mich. (WOOD) - A pedestrian who was killed just after midnight Sunday morning was a Kazakhstan native.

The accident happened on 28th Street, just west of Byron Center Avenue.

The woman who died was a 23-year-old from Kazakhstan . She was in the United States with other foreign nationals, and, according to the Wyoming Police Department, was selling items to area gas stations and convenience stores to raise money for a religious group.

A suspect in the hit-and-run was identified and arrested. That suspect is now in the Kent County jail, and the prosecutor is reviewing the case to determine any potential charges.

Police officials are working with the Kazakhstan Consulate to notify the woman's family.
______________________________________________

super. that is awful. i'm 99.9% sure that is the same lady. if not then i know she is from the same group. thats so awful.

2 i guess you do then..s | Leave a message if you care..

.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 1 August :: 3.16pm

i posted this quote from a book a long time ago but i love it so i'm doing it again:
My mind is blank now. Every part of my body is sinking and empty. I don't have to think about anything, hear anything, say anything, feel anything, worry about anything.
...there are no job interviews, no hypocrites. I do not have to... socialize. I do not have to smile. I do not have to justify my beliefs. I don't have to wear dress shoes. I don't have to pledge allegiance to the flag. I don't have to use a number two pencil. I don't have to read the fine print.
...it is true that it is nonproductive. But when ninety-five percent of out-of-bed activities hold the possibility of pain, to be pain-free is simply the most delicious feeling in the world.

-not mine

________________________________________

i'm reading through old entries. it makes me sad...

JESS this comment from you made me laugh hard.

"10-30-07 7:52am
jess i'm wearing my glasses today to cover my face lol

ttyl
"

do you remember that?

and this is funny to me
"now if only i could get myself to start fricken working out . seriously. i need to get serious about that. i really really do. i just feel like a moron in front of all those muscley guys. eww and i don't want to run on the tredmills and fall on my face like on a tv show. i'd be so embarassed. and it would hurt. i can't run on those treadmills. i'm not coordinated enough to do that and listen to my earphones and sing MY hUMPS in my head and watch the tvs with no sound and worry about what people are thinking of me and check my heart rate all at the same time.

HOW DO YOU PEOPLE DO IT. HOW DO YOU RUN ON TREADMILLS.

and that m y friend is the question of the day. how DO you people run on treadmills.
"

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 1 August :: 2.35pm

why do i feel so bad when a person who says they are a missionary from khazakstan that tries to help people from drug abuse and absitence before marriage etc. comes into my work and tries to sell me a pretty windchime and i refuse?

why do i feel so guilty?!!?

i only had 10 bucks on me and they were 15 and up.

the saddest part is i probably would have bought one if i had the extra 5.

i cannnnnt saaaaaay noooooooooooooo.

...isn't khazacstan the country borat was from? well... she didn't look like borat.

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 1 August :: 2.05pm

i've had this since 2002....

weirrrrrd.

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chelthesmell

:: 2009 17 July :: 6.57pm
:: Mood: amused

Douche of the year, strikes again...!
I love how when someone doesn't want anything to do with you, they delete you from everything, woohu, myspace, facebook, etc. But then when you comment on a friends post that they are also friends with, they feel like they just haaaaaavvvvveee to be a dick to you...

It's funny to me really.
God, get a life...

2 i guess you do then..s | Leave a message if you care..

.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 16 July :: 12.59am

Random thoughts: -i am hungry- I get to buy groceries tomorrow yeehaw- I want to see stefs puppy- I want a new vacuum cleaner soooo bad- I have to get my new passport and license tomorrow- I can never sleep at night anymore- I am excited to start school and wear scrubs- I put up (past tense) with SO much for you, you idiot.- I wonder if you know deep down that you really did a lot of bad things, you were/are such a jerk and so fake, it really sucks because when you're not like that you are pretty fun - where did they all go? - I wonder if that really is why and the doctors are wrong and it will be a problem. I can only pray that it won't.- why does my kidney area always hurt like a sharp pain ... Not good.- I'm married, isn't that weird!?!? Hahahaha- and that concludes the random list of thoughts going on in my head.

I

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 15 July :: 11.05pm

All about yourself...the survey. Created by adawg and taken 427924 times on Bzoink
All about yourself...
First name?::	jessica
Middle name?::	michele
Like your name?::	yes
Named after anyone?::	no
Any nicknames?::	jamal, j, jessa
Age?::	21
Birthdate?::	3.8
Birthplace?::	grand rapids
Time you were born?::	8.31 am
Current location?::	my home
Height?::	5.0
Like your height?::	no, i wish i was a little taller
Eye color?::	blue
Contacts/glasses?::	neither
Hair color?::	brown
Natural hair color?::	brown
Dye your hair often?::	about 3 times a year because i get bored
Righty or lefty?::	lefty
Your favorite...
Type of music?::	depends on my mood. When I am awake and ready to go out then it would be hip hop/rap etc, when i'm ready for bed it's classical, when i'm sad it's r&b/pop
Band or singer?::	ummmm i dont know
TV show?::	greys anatomy
Movie?::	i guess step brothers
TV channel?::	?
Radio station?::	none
Place to be?::	out with friends/ family
Thing to do?::	be iwth friends/family
Food?::	pizza/chocolate
Non alcoholic drink?::	diet pepsi
Alcoholic drink?::	bahama mama, vodka and sprite
Animal?::	dogs, cats, swans
Holiday?::	my bday or christmas i guess i duno
Season?::	spring summer or fall
Sport?::	sport? hmmm
Place to shop?::	vanity, forever 21, charlotte russe, marshalls, old navy, target... theres many
Clothing brand?::	none
Scent?::	as far as perfume- enchanted orchid from BBW or baby phat umm i can't remember what its called but i love it
Restaurant?::	olive garden or frankie v's
Fruit?::	apples or bananas
Vegetable?::	potatos, corn
Fast food restaurant?::	arby's i suppose
Pizza topping?::	none, just cheese really
Ice cream flavor?::	mint chocolate chip
Magazine?::	i duno
City?::	haven't visited enough to know
Color?::	blue
Number?::	2
This or that...
Chocolate or vanilla?::	chocolate except for cake or ice cream
Pepsi or coke?::	diet pepsi
Hot or cold?::	?
Black or white?::	black
Dog or cat?::	dog
French toast or pancakes?::	french toast
French fries or onion rings?::	french fries
Hamburger or hot dog?::	hamburger
Pepperoni or sausage?::	pep
Britney or Christina?::	britney
McDonalds or Burger King?::	burger king
50 Cent or Eminem?::
Canada or Mexico?::	canada i think
Hug or kiss?::	hug
Movies or TV?::
Truth or dare?::
Do you...
Shower daily?::	yes
Sing in the shower?::	no
Like to sing?::	in my car
Like to dance?::	yeah
Smoke?::	no
Drink?::	on occasion
Cuss?::	sometimes
Talk to yourself?::	not really
Believe in yourself?::	?
Play an instrument?::	yes
Go to school?::	starting on the 27th
Go to college?::	" "
Have a job?::	yeah
Like your job?::	most of the time
Want to get married?::	am
Want to have kids?::	yes
Get along with your parents?::	yeah
Get along with your siblings?::	yeah
Drive?::	yeah
Random...
Do you think you're trustworthy?::	yes
Think your funny?::	sometimes
Ever toilet papered someones house?::	yes
Gone garbage can tipping?::	no
What are your parents names?::	stacey and michael
Siblings names?::	brandon shannon stefanie
Do you wash your hands frequently?::	yes
How many time a day do you brush your teeth?::	2
Collect anything?::	no
Ever been in love?::	yeah
In love right now?::	yeah
What color pants are you wearing right now?::	grey
How does your hair look?::	up in pony tail
Ever had your heartbroken?::	yeah
Ever broken the law?::	yeah
Been arrested?::	no
Been out of the country?::	yea
Can you stick your fist in your mouth?::	no
When was the last time you got drunk?::	umm i cannot remember
Do you do drugs?::	no
When was the last time you were high on anything?::	n/a
Do you prefer the lights on or off?::	off-save energy
Would you ever get plastic surgery?::	yes
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?::	boxers
Do you like to laugh?::	yes
Ever had a bloody nose?::	no
Have you ever caught a fish?::	yes
What was the last thing you ate?::	hamburger helper
What time do you go to bed?::	depends
What's your favorite color?::	blue
Do you like to give or recieve?::
Are you obsessed with anything/anyone?::	my dogs probably
Do you live alone?::	no
Do you own a blender?::	yes
Do you like the snow?::	i like how it looks but nothign else
Ever been up a mountain?::	no
Ever been rootin'?::	?
Do you like surprises?::	yes
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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 14 July :: 10.59pm

jessssssssssssssss have you seen this?

cute huh?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQcVllWpwGs

2 i guess you do then..s | Leave a message if you care..