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:: 2005 11 February :: 5.20pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: sum 41-pieces

i tried to be perfect, but nothing was worth it...
im back!!!

ill try to update this as much as my livejournal.!!

love you all!! <33

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 22 January :: 1.52pm
:: Mood: annoyed

help

so sorry to inform ya'll but im going to use livejournal as my journal unless i can fix how my woohu looks. it seems to say error everytime i try to modify it. hmm. if u can help that wuld be great. if not, check me out at:

www.livejournal.com/~dumbblonde1137

k thanks. <3

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 18 January :: 5.16pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: john mayer

he puts the color inside of my world...

today sucked. it was soo0o0oo cold and i wore a skirt so i froze. 1st hr was lamer than lame. 2nd hr took a test, did horrible. 3rd hr slept. 4th hr was umm..shame? 5th hr did a DBQ. it was kinda easy. 6th hr paid attention actually. 7th hr talked to my-oh-so-rad sub. shes so cool i love her. i wish she was our real teacher...after school hung out with gusto and damian. went home and me, niki, nicole, camila, gustavo and alyssa went to buy nicole a pregnancy test to see if shes preganant. = NEGATIVE. so thats good. and she dumped donnie. yay! <33. came home and yeah. now im stuck here thinking. thats not a good sign...i dont trust myself thinking about things for so long. mayb ill go like hang out with sumone...errr.

later.

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 16 January :: 11.41pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: maroon 5

but things get crazy, living life gets hard to do...

today was ehhh. went to the mall with camila and met up with sam, krisitn, eventually gustavo and jeremy came too. we saw eric and nick. ooo! and i saw johnny nonni! <3 he scared me. lolol. omg we saw this group of guys that looked gay so we followed them into american eagle and sam starts talking to them and they like...i dunno if they're are gay or not. one wasnt for sure cuz he wanted kristin lol. then sams mom took us home to camilas.hung out there. then jeremy, gustavo, chris and max showed up. we all hung out and shit and played pool. it was sorta fun..then sam, chris, and max left. then yeah. then i had to go home at 11:30 and everyone pissed me off anyways. came home in tears but amanda made me feel better! <333. yeah now im tired. so im gunna sleep. peace motherfuckers.

<33 ?

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 15 January :: 9.47pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: my chemical romance

for all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took...

wow tonight was lame. fell asleep for a while and then woke up to eat dinner and my brother like ran away and was missing...whatever. then went to nicoles cuz she needed help with something.. it was funny. she went like freako lesbian on me in the garage lol then we both had to pee so we went to the bathroom, got toilet paper and peed on the side of her house --cuz we're fucking cool like that. hahaha wow we're idiots. it was friggin hilarious. then i went home and yeah. im boreddd.

<33333

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 15 January :: 4.48pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: usher, jon and luda lol

we'll be lovers and friends...

omfg. im so bored. this weekend sucks. camila has to babysit tonight so does nicole. sam got grounded and....? thats like everyone (as sad as that sounds). so im probably not gunna do anything tonight..urghhh.

i guess i'll just keep waiting...

<3

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 14 January :: 10.57pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: none

2nd best day of my life:

my daddy took me and camila to the mall. there was literally no one there. we walked around and shit, talked to protagonist brian. then ate sesame chicken at a japanese place. it was funny. her parents piked us up after we made complete fools of ourselves outside of the mall. then they went to home depot so me and camila walked to ben and jerrys to see if piercing boy really does work there....HE DOES!!! so we went in to buy ice cream and he gave it to us! omg i kept the cup!! LOL. it was beautiful, just like his face. then we ran into danny inman and bryan at blockbuster. me and camila ran across 441 like 90439 times.-almost died once. ran into juliano, got stalked by 12 year olds, climbed a mountain, got asked to smoke pot with sum guys, and stole a ryan cabrera picture. yes.,it was good fun. lol. but im so happy i was piercing boy. i hadnt seen him in 3 weeks... hahahaha.

<333

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 14 January :: 4.26pm
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: lonestarrr.

he called on her on the road jus to hear her say "i love you" one more time...

today sucked. 1st hr was incredibly boring. i slept mostly. butttt ommmg me and hayley were so happy cuz seth simmons (our military dude) finally wrote bak! -but not to us personally...fagggg! 3rd hr is so fucking gay. i hate that class and i hate the ppl in it. mr. adler wuldnt let me sleep. urggh. lunch was lame as usual. 5th hour was boring and yeah. chemistry we had our darling sub again. <3. firedrill. and work that i didnt do. it was pouring after school...ehhh. then kyla got all mad at me cuz she went thru sams shit and read a note i wrote to sam and yeah. personally thats ur problem...u shuldnt have been going thru other ppls shit. whatever. theres so much drama that all i can do is laugh. hahahaha. tonight is going to be lame. cuz i dunno what to do...ehh.

<33

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 13 January :: 6.06pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: lonestar

and i'll gently kiss your lips, touch you with my fingertips...

school was ehhh. i looked hott today tho. lolol. english was gay. spanish i did good on my skit. lunch was gay like usual. sam lost our notebook...ehhh. history was lame. algebra was ok. did all my hw with sean. after school had to write an essay for ms. dice. talked to damian and camila (god i love that kid hes so funny) then to luke (who hates me) and went home. stilllll wasnt allowed to drive so i walked to wendys with nicole. saw noone. then had to go to camilas to do "something" hahahahahahahahahhaha. then went home. now im bored. and im getting sick. blahhh.

<333

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 12 January :: 4.45pm
:: Mood: upset
:: Music: my chemical romance

im not okay...i promise.

today was good sorta. got my license...woo. then daddy took me to mcdonalds for breakfast =] . got to school in time for fourth hr. then lunch. thats starting to be my least favorite part of the day. everyone was making me upset. i even broke down and started crying...of course no one noticed cept allie cuz shes my love. rest of the day was gay. after school like no one was there. went home and then i couldnt even take the car cuz of sum insurance shit. that pissed me off. then ppl online were making me mad and then my family starts bitching at me so i go in my room and have one of my breakdowns. i get better and max and camila call. i found out sum shit and it put me in an even worser mood. im so upset right now. and i broke a promise. ehh.

i wish piercing boy still had first lunch. he was the only thing that got me through the day at school. i never see him now. but i think i like someone else now...but im not gunna get my hopes up, jus gunna see howit plays out...i swear to god this is the only thing keeping me sane. gahh.

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 11 January :: 5.42pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: ryan cabrizzle! <33

and everything that you thought was fine, has turned its back into more than time...

today was cool i guess. enviromental was soooo friggin boring. law studies= new class. with gayyyyy people in it. desiree is in it thank god. so is brittany and sean. donnie, katie, theo, and courtney are in it,..ugh. that was boring today. lunch was okay..i has pasta thrown at me? and still , no piercing boy. i miss my love. i wore all black today to mourn his loss. lol im sucha fag. then history was ehhh. took notes and i culdnt sleep cuz justin kept waking me up...stupid bastard!! then chemistry had a sub. she was cool-like gothic but not really. black nail polish pale and black coat. it was cute. lol. that class was super boring. after school i had an NHS meeting, then got home like 3:30 and then went with nicole up to wendys to do our math hw. we saw sean, kevin and josh up there. then we left and saw max and then nicole left and alinas mom piked me up on the side of the road and took me home. lol. i <3 her. yeah now im gunna go eat dinner. license tomorrow!! wooot. im scared/mega nervous!!
....oh yeah, and anthony chavez has a crush on me. hmmm..its cute. lol. random,...but cute. haha.

laterrrrr! <33

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 10 January :: 4.42pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: spanish song by ryan <33

i cant even help my self...

you are the one...

-ehh first day back at school. all same classes except 3rd hour. now i have law studies.ehhh. it fucking sucks. piercing boy isnt in my lunch anymore *tear* tomorrow im wearing all black to mourn his loss. but hes in nikis 4th hr. i wanna switch but i cant. gahhhhhhhhhhh. so mad/sad. anyways...i paid attention in history *clap for me* lol. fucking arsalan annoyed me in 6th and so did sean. whatever. omg after school we talked to damian. he is fucking hilarious i love that kid. lol. then grandma took me driviing after school cuz she got new brakes and she wanted me to get used to them. walked to publix w/ camila so she culd get cake frosting. ran into max, talked to him for a bit then walked home. talked to ronnie and yeah. now im bored. peace.

<33

...you are the only one i want.

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 9 January :: 8.18pm
:: Mood: distressed
:: Music: i will by ryan cabrera <33

do you ever wonder, if we were not friends?

today was L A M E. woke up at 10 and went home from camilas house. took a shower talked to people online and then got ready. then my daddy took me driving. we went to the DMV to practice the course cuz i went thru it in drivers ed. last year. omggg i suck soooo bad at parking. literally spent a good 30 mins jus trying to park. then we went to KFC and ewwie. my chicken was like a tad pink so i wuldnt eat it. then drove home. i love when my daddy takes me places like this. we talk. mostly about his past and my future. i gets me thinking about college and whatnot.. came home and nicole wanted to go walking so we did. walked up to wendys and max stopped by to say hi. saw emily up there. then we walked back and talked to sum dude named dream. he was cool. then went to my house and sat on my driveway. seth and jd stopped by then everyone left. ate dinner and decorated both me and camilas and me and sams slambooks. now im dreading school tomorrow cuz its an even day and i didnt write an essay for english...eek!!

<33

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 9 January :: 12.17pm

i swear to god that i have some deep rooted psychological/mental problem.

i keep thinking about cake, and if i chose the right kind...

gahhhh.

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 9 January :: 11.59am
:: Mood: mental freakshow
:: Music: old school ryan cabrera

and the butterflies collide inside a jar that lies within your <3, you're free....

yesterday was cool. woke up did chores, got ready and went to office max with daddy to copy my AP english packet that i need for homework. came home and walked with camila to the firestation where we met up with jeremy and justin t. we watched them dirtbike for a while then left. hung out and then went to the movies. went to mcdonalds first and got happy meals with blow up spears. lmao. then we met up with lauren and zach. next thing u know everyone in the world is with is: nick, jeremy, justin t, eric, patrice, katie, carol, scott, alex. we went in a were a lil squished seating wise. lol . omg we went to see white noise. jesus christ it was fucking scary. well, i think only me, lauren, and camila were scared...since we were the only ones screaming and covering our eyes. the people behind us were laughing...at us! lol. after the movie we went to mcdonalds/borders then left. when we got home we chilled with nicole and jd for a while. nicole like raped us and jd got it on camera lolol.then went inside and it was fucking hilarious...everyone who went to see that movie with us was online until after 2:30...just to be safe....

today daddys taking me to the DMV to practice cuz wednesday i get my license! blahhhhhh and i have homework. i really dont wanna go bak to school...i fucking hate it.

<33

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 8 January :: 10.36am
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: five for fighting

im jus out to find the better part of me...

yesterday felt like it was 34984 hours long. woke up and went walking with nicole. we sat in wendys for like 1.5 hours. lol. then went home and talked to allie and jd thru my window. then got reay for jeremys birthday party. for the most part it was funn. there was alotta ppl there...(an attempt to name them): me, camila, nicole, kristin, shaye, olivia, kelsey, richie, sahar, leo, jaryd, zach, max, chris, gustavo, justin a, justin t, eric, lucy, brian, charlie, scott and more but i forget. we jus hung out outside until his neighbor started to have strokes and we went in to watch napolean dynamite. CHRIS spilled some soda and didnt know how to wipe it up properly. lol --me, kelsey, camila, nicole, kristin, shaye, and olivia def. showed them bitches up!! haha. 7 to 4, ooooh what now?! yeah but then two of them stood up for me and i was like..."ummmmmm" lol. weirdness. then i almost broke a nail on camilas pants and it hurt sooooooo bad that i had to go in jeremys freezer and caress a frozen turkey. lol. anyways. ooo! i saw matt becker drive by in a car and he came bak and talked to me. aww i miss matt/psychology. lol. but yeah we ended up leaving at like 12:15. came home, went online then watched fresh-prince and went to sleep. im a tad confused and im guna make a friends only post about it. i could really use the opinion of sumone who doesnt personally know all the people involved. but yeah. today sucks. i have to do my chores, read a book for english and write an essay. ufjkhnfdj. and school starts in like 1.25 days. awww. =[ ...it started to feel like summer.

<33

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 6 January :: 11.03pm
:: Mood: numb
:: Music: five for fighting

i cant stnad to fly, im not that naive..

im such a mess right now. i have eyeliner running down my face right now and i cant stop crying. this is so fucking gay. theres no way in hell that hes getting away with this without me saying anything....

i dont even think meeting ryan cabrera (again) right now wuld make me feel any better...

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 6 January :: 10.07am
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: fallout boy

i wrote this for you...

yesterday was very rushed. me and sam made plans with brian to go see a movie since we havent seen that child in forvever!!! but then at like 4:30 sam calls and says lets go to the mall....so i had to get ready in 30 minutes. and then catch the 5:15 bus all by myself. at 5 i remembered i needed to feed camilas dog...so i sprinted over there and then met nicole and she walked/ran with me to the stop. i got there just in time.. nicole left and then i called camila so i wasnt so scared. ommmg at sandalfoot stop the orgasmic dude from one time when me and camila took the bus got on. it was funny. anyways..got there and met up with sam and of course, saw newman again. hes such a queer. then we hung out with cchhhhhh-josh, matt, and frank-cchhhhhh (lmao). they're cool..sorta. lol. frank still owes me a dollar!! grrrr. then we saw bryan (the dude in protagonist) and he was with his friend hazen who i technically related to RYAN CABRERA. omfgggg. haha. yeah. anyways. max called me, he got his license/car..which is cool. he was gunna stop by my house on his way to the gym...but we were at the malll...so yea. then sams mom piked us up and took us to lukes. they tried to teach me how to play tezas-hold em or w/e. it was a failure. so we hung outside and stuff. haha i think luke thinks we are weirddddd. lol. then left and got home at like 10:30.

now im going to go do my lil mother-daughter day thing. wanna chill tonight w/ me and camila (since she got home =] )...call!!!

<33

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dumbblonde1137

:: 2005 5 January :: 2.04pm
:: Mood: depressed

things girls wish guys knew

1. Don't tell us when you think other girls are hot.

2. This is how we see it . . .you Don't call = you Don't Care.

3. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.

4. We're allowed to be late . . . you are not.

5. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.

6. Do not start with us. You will not win.

7. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.

8. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month.

9. We love surprises!

10.We like to be kissed softly.

11.Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.

12.Clean your room before we come over.

13. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.

14.Don't act hard around your friends.

15.Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"

16.Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.

17.It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.

18.If you did something wrong, or even THINK you did something wrong, you better call.

19.Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!

20.You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.

21.Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you.

22.Don't say "I love you" unless you mean it.

hmpf. <33

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