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:: 2004 1 December :: 6.20pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: dive in

take a breath and come to life...

Em0tional Rant.

i really hate most of the people at west boca high. i also hate the fucking people in palm beach county that built that fucking school. i also hate the fact that florida is idiotic and has school "boundaries".

^all my teachers and my parents all told me that going to the "new school" was a great opportunity and would fun. i even believed it for awhile. looked forward to school starting. yeah. they are a bunch of fucking liars. due to the "new Better school" i lost a bunch of my friends. i really cant stand about 96% of the people at west boca. 388 juniors total. thats so fucking gay. and so much is happening with my olypmic crew and im missing out on it all. its like were practically not friends anymore since we hardly see eachother.

its bad enough that i had to change schools in 7th grade. then change again in 9th and then a third time in 11th. jesus christ. i jus wish i could have either stayed in wisconsin and continued school with all of them or at least have been put in a public school when we moved here so that at least in 9th grade i wulda known ppl. i make a few incredible friends at olympic and i get fucking seperated from them. even if we hang out on the weekends, its never gunna be the same. i hate it. i even miss mr. levin. lol.

i hate this. for sum reason its been making me realy upset lately. maybe its becuz of people i think are my friends saying that im annoyin or they dont like me or shit. i never asked to go here. i dont want to be friends with these people. i hate them. i truly do. i mean i have friends, most of them i wouldnt tech. consider them my "friends". i have a few really good/best friends but the rest of the ppl i barely know and i talk to maybe only in the class that i have with them.

i want to walk to geometry with kyrie and dilan then run downstairs when the minute bell rings. i want to walk/run to levins class with dilan and kyrie and sneak to the back with bryan and them. i miss mr. levin making fun of dilan. i want to be the last ones outta the locker hallway at lunch time because we have to wait for mara and jordana and jack. i wanna walk to MY soda machine and get my dr. pepper and then walk to the cafeteria and sit with some of my most favorite people in the world. i want to go to the bathroom at exactly 11:45 everyday. i even want jack to make fun of me and my freshmen friends. i want to drool over seth and his nice ass with kyrie and dilan. i wanna walk to the cafeteria every morning and see everyone. i miss talking to jessica, dilan, kyrie, mara, carolyn, and everyone in the morning. i even miss dilan having to leave us for her spanish boyfriend jose. i miss bryan calling him jorge. i miss mr. levin and his dog and his pink shirts. i even miss the obnoxious way he blew his nose and stuck the handkerchief back in his pocket. i miss mostly walking to biology with jack and sumtimes mara and standing at "the line". i miss our pig. i miss walking to p.e. and being late and having to sprint thru the masses of freshman with dilan. i miss playing basketball with luci. i especially miss angelica. her and our walks, boys, and stupid jokes. i miss us trying to play basketball withh joey andrew and eric. i reallly miss standing outside after school at our little "bump". i miss bryan calling me cadillac. i miss scott alarcon. i miss having to meet him after school and dragging him to my locker. i miss our lil talks and him calling me blonde. for god sakes i even miss daniel bickel!! i miss johnny nonni and life management class. i miss having a locker next to carolyn. i miss her and her random outbreaks of noise and spasms. i especially miss walking to dilans house and then to mama's pizza on half days. i miss dilan, kyrie, jack, carolyn, mara, bryan, and angelica mostly. i miss the drama. i miss the fun. i miss the people and i miss all the love. i've never met more awesome people in my entire life and now they have been taken away from me. i'd do anything to go back to last year. why didnt i try and join yearbook so i coulda stayed?? i want nothing more in the entire world than to graduate with them. but now, thats impossible...

god damnit. im crying again. i cried randomly last night about this on the phone to max too. whateverrr. im leaving. sorry if i sound unappreciative to all my "real" friends at west boca which is like what?....mayb 5 people and sum dont even read this. so yeah whatever.