I luhv
mah Daw Daw!!

Ali jean ur the best thing thts eva happened to me. I luv u wif all mah heart <3 In the end I want to be standing at the beginning with you
I can't stand being your second anymore.
Not when you're always my first.
Whoever said happiness came with sunshine
has never danced in the rain.
Your a dream come true, don't you ever leave my side, cuz it feels so right
Ali Jean Brittany Jay Becky Dawn Sidnee Brandy Stacey
Tiffany James Adam Kristie Amber Chelsie Malissa
Steffanie Elizabeth Brittney Taylor Mike Brianna Savanna
Chris T. Derek S. Melissa Jennifer Tammy Danielle Kyle
Rachel Lizzo Amber Ashley Ethan Heather Nicole
Britty ur the reason im alive, I would be nothing w/o u. I luv you soo much
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Sometimes i wonder is this pain worth it..

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:: 2003 28 November :: 2.48 pm
:: Mood: content

Wtf is wrong wif me?!
Urgh i really dont know wat to do anymore..Sometimes i can be soo happy..and then the rest of the time..i jus feel like id rather die the most painful death than take another breath..

I dont know wat to do anymore..I hate skool, and everyone there..dat used to be my escape place..that used to be da place where i would go to get away from my house and my fucked up parents..now i go from hell to an even worse hell..and den bak to hell again!!

*I had another crazy episode t day brittany =( ..mhmm this is crazy dude, this one was worse..ill tell u bout it another time if u remind me*

Steve is all mad at me now..Britt dont like him neither..i dont know why..but im sure it has something to do wif how im always leavin to talk wif him..well im not sure..dats jus wat i think..i dont have any idea tho..

Well im gonna go now..gotta go shoppin wif my slut/bitch/cunt/fuckin asshole mother..*gotta get britts present* and duffey and becky dawn n glors..got the rest of ppls presents..but ive still got a bit of pplz left!! =)

well bye now!!

love..me..=/

1 And i fall in love again. | Then i see your face

:: 2003 27 November :: 11.10 pm
:: Mood: relaxed
:: Music: My baby~~By::Bow wow

Well lets see here..t day was fuckin awesome!! lol it started out shitty..and den i got to see my baby Steve. I luv him soo much! I cant even begin to explain how i feel fo dis kid..Hes so sweet and sensitive..and *sucha great kisser* My mom likes him kinda..but my step dad loves him lol!! They were talkin upstairs while watchin the game fo like an hour or something lol..Oh gosh and my mom found out dat he was turnin 17 t day..and like kinda freaked out lol..but shes kool wif it now..

Lets see wat else to write bout..Well okay i know..

Okay Chelsie thinks dat like i dont luv her and all of this shit..and same goes fo sidnee n becky n ashley n all of those pplz well ya know wat..i do care bout em..its jus britt means more to me..and dats it..no more needed to tell..ya'll need to jus accept da fact dat your never going to amount up to brittany..ur never gonna mean as much to me as brittany..but i do care bout all of you..jus not as much!! SO JUS ACCEPT IT..MOVE ON..STOP ACTIN LIKE YOUR ALL DEPRESSED OR SOME FUCKIN SHIT!! Ex stacey omfg!! Shes not my best friend..brittany is..no matter wat..and she jus wont accept dat and jus be friends wif me..it drives me fuckin nuts!! *chelsie dont u dare take this da wrong way..i do luv you, alot!! Your a really really great friend..so dont think dat i dont car ebout you*

I dont know..im jus in a really good mood..Steve omfg he makes me feel so comfortable and loved and relaxed *maybe da was da massage tho* lol I dont know..he jus is soo sweet, and fun and funny and caring and oh gosh i dunno..im done..

latah everyone!

love..me!! =)

2 And i fall in love again.. | Then i see your face

:: 2003 27 November :: 9.59 am
:: Mood: *In A sHiT LoAd oF PaIn*

Looks like everyone around here is really happy..i sold be really happy seeings how its yah thanksgiving t day..but yah dats nothing to really be happy about this year..its more depressin than it is happy!! We've gotta go to my step dads moms which is going to suck cuz everyone there hates me and i hate everyone there. And then we've gotta go to my moms parents which is going to suck cuz i really dont like my grandmother on dat side..and cuz my grandpa is gone and ainnt gonna be there..its gonna be so awkward..and Kirsten or my brother aint going..katie is still i think? Not sure..but im glad Joshie is going..*ill xplain him latah..* But yah also a good thing is Steve is coming over..WOo HOo!! =/ Im kinda glad but kinda not..i dunno..im still in alotta pain, i really cant move my arms or my legs, it hurts to walk, it hurts to even touch something, joshie gave me a hug this morning and i thought dat he was stabbing me in da bak a million times!! But yah im gonna get going..a bubble bath sounds nice bout rite now..*plus ive gotta clean mwaha* and leave soon..but yah ill be bak latah! Bye!!


P.s. *Joshie* is kinda like my brother, ive known him my whole life, he was my moms friends son, and he wa smy and my brothers friend too, and like his mom is a crack addict and his dad is a drunk and leaves him for long times..so like he comes over to our house cuz my mom feels bad fo him kinda ya know? My mom is like his mom really..hes over soo much, and we see him soo often..but yah i luv him!! =)

Latah everyone..


love..me..=/

Then i see your face

:: 2003 26 November :: 7.36 pm
:: Mood: numb

Its all outta contral..
Omfg t day..has to have been one of the worst days ive had in a raelly long time..nobody likes me at skool anymore..everyone fuckin hates me..my grades r soo fuckin shitty..i hate skool!! And oh gosh then my family..

Well my mom is gone physco cuz of my grandpa n everything..and hey i dont blame her..my step dad is still his dickhead self..kirsten cant even stand up shes soo sick..everyone if fuckin crazy lately!!

My family hates me too..t day i couldnt even sit up straight..my arms my bak my whole friggin body hurts to move..i seroiusly wanted to kill myself it hurt so fuckin bad..And so my mom gave me one of her vicondins and like i went to go lay down and i slept fo a while..and den i came out a couple hours latah and my mom and bro said to jus leave and go bak to bed..*how sweet* and den like i come online..no britt or anyone..i feel so damn alone..steve is surposed to be comin over 2marro but i havent talked to him all day so i unno now..and dude then i go bak to my room and like i said tell me when dinner is done..and i like go in there n stuff and come bak out latah on, and like i come out into the kitchen and everyone is already ate and my mom is puttin everything away..and i said wat bout me and she said well get something dont bitch at me!! WTF?!?! I cant even eat wif my family..see the hate me..they dont wanna be around me..i dont wanna be around them..ive been screamin and crying and kickin and punchin and yellin all day long and nobody even notices..i feel like im jus da lil child they had but have forgotten about..dat they dont care bout..dat they lock up in her room forever..i dont wanna live anymore..im dead serious!! I fuckin hate everything..i jus wanna die!! Plz someone kill me..before i have to..

Then i see your face

:: 2003 26 November :: 1.26 pm

Everything dat once meant something..
Dnt mean shit anymore..

Everyone that used to care..
Dont give a fuck anymore..

Everything dat once was good..
Is fuckin hell now..


love..me.. =(

3 And i fall in love again.. | Then i see your face

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