::
2004 17 April :: 11.33 pm
:: Mood: lonely
when its all said and done.. your gone..
I had like the worst day ever. Some things were okay. Like work i had fun wif Danielle i havent seen her in like ages. But i still had the worst day. The only person today whose asked about my day was Jay. I told him a few things..but nothing thats really bothering me. Everything tahts going on is like way too personal to tell anyone these days. I seriously dont know wat to do with myself. Its been 26 days and im scared that im going to fail britt and myself. Im scared of myself right now. I jus want to die. Really, but i cant. I cant fail britt. AGAIN!! I jus wish everything would be wonderful again..='(
I dont know im jsu going to go in my room, and bawl my eyes out. Theres nobdoy to talk to. Bcuz nobody cares. I jus want to die. Ohh yeah..me n joshie got a new cellie *416 1724* not that anyone will ever use it. Well ima go. Bye everyone =(
Then i see your face |
::
2004 16 April :: 12.13 pm
This is your life and its ending one moment at a time.
Gosh i friggin hate skool soo much!! And everyone in it. I cant wait until i turn 16 so that i can drop out of this gay ass skool. Yesterday i had to go home from skool after 1st hour bcuz im soo sick of everyone They all hate me and thier soo fuckin rude to me and i really dont deserve this bullshit All i do is try and be the best friend that i can for them and then they do this to me..well it aint gonna be that way for long you watch.
Geesh if i didnt have Jay to talk to last nite i wouldnt have had anyone Isnt that sad? Someone that i barely know, someone that lives in florida is the only person that was there for me i dont know about you but i find that pretty sad. But Jay i love you soo much babes, im happy were becoming better friends, and i know theres more to come. I love you baby boi
Well im jus goin to get going, nothing to write about i guess. Except for tonight omg im soo busy, ive got 3 appt. for the business manager thing. Ive got to go to my tanner, and then Subway, and then to this pizza place im hoping that i can get some ads there. And then ive gotta go to this nursing home for an interview to be a volenture there. Then ive gotta go to the rac, for riot on fire with becky and cassie. Busy day t nite..well im gonna go luv you all lots byes!!
Then i see your face |
::
2004 14 April :: 10.21 pm
A must read..at least brit u must read!!
I could never truely thank you for everything that you have done for me. Your the most important thing in my whole life. I dont think there is one day that i havent gone by thinking, "I wonder what she is doing? I wonder whose shes with? I wonder how shes doing?" I feel as though i am one of the luckiest people in this entire world. I have been blessed with the gift of your friendship. You are the kind of person that people want to be friends with their whole life. The kind of person that people met for even just a half an hour, and walk away feeling like they were just touched by an angel. Something changed in me when you came into my life. I became a better person. You taught me how to truely care about someone with all of thier heart. You taught me how to forgive someone even when it seemed crazy to forgive them for the horrible thing they did. You taught me everything that i know about love, friendship, forgiveness, and life. I would be lost if i didnt know that somewhere out there, you would always be standing, holding out your hand to guide me back to path that im surposed to be headed on. You are seriously the most amazing person that ive ever met. And i just want you to know that i admire you and look up to you soo much. You are soo strong, and brave and you have soo much courage to do the things that i could never do. And i want you to know, that if today our friendship were to end for some horrific reason, you would always be in my heart, you would always be my best friend, you will always be the person that i admire and trust most, but most importantly until the day i die, you will always be the person that changed me and my life, and for that, i will never and could never forget about you, my best friend, Brittany Marie Gamester.
Srry, i jus got thinking, and jus thought i would letyou know how much i care about you and how much you mean to me, and yeah just wrote this lol. I love you more than anything in this WHOLE WORLD britty. You mean everything to me.
2 And i fall in love again.. |
Then i see your face |
::
2004 14 April :: 11.38 am
:: Mood: lethargic
Nothing could make life any worse..
Wow today has been horrible already. Cassie promised dat we could talk before skool today but i knew that cassie brown woudl like not want her to leave so then cassie used that as an excuse so we didnt talk and now shes avoiding me!! Ick i hate this bullshit.
Then James called me again last nite..i seriously dont know wat to do here, i want to be wit him soo fuckin bad but i realy dont. Its soo confusing..i jus miss him i want him to come over tonight. He said he'll try after he gets outta work. I cant wait i need him. ='( I didnt really want us to break up i guess..dammit im stupid.
Geesh and things were going to soo good for me, and then all of this shit happens ick im soo sick of this!! I need someone to talk to but everyone is always soo busy or thier friggin mad at me. Everyone is mad at me I hate this.
Well im giong to jus get going. Gotta go to lunch, and hang out wif ick..cassie and then brandy korse..always on an A day. I think im jus gonna go to the library or something my gosh i have them. Well thats enough byes.
23 DaYz today everyone!!
Then i see your face |
::
2004 13 April :: 10.52 pm
:: Mood: drained
Your words are wat tore this heard apart..
Well..wow, today is the first day taht ive actually been online. And omg am i ever glad that i did =) Brittany marie gamester is the most amazing person in the whole world..i luv you soo much babes!!
I couldnt help you.. wtf is that? I dont know if she understands how much she hurt me more by not talking to me!! For a whole friggin year!! I was more depressed and crazy last year bcuz she hated me. Ick!! I hate ppl who have stupid judgement!!
Ohh shit ive got homework to do. Dammit i hate this working hard in school shit its really gettin boring and hard lol. But i must, i must. Hey everyone i got my grades up, thier not good, but thier still up. you all sould be proud lol. Neways i must go. Just thought i would write in here..*brit check ur email..* P.s. Chels i miss you, luvyou ltos!!
22 DaYz today everyone.. =X *sigh*
Then i see your face |
|