CrazyBlondeOne
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2004 5 January :: 8.41pm
:: Mood: feel like screaming and crying
:: Music: nothing
this crap is getting old....real quick
im so sick of this. im sick of courtney being a self centered witch. she thinks she is the only one who has problems and that nobody else can be depressed...well WAKE UP CALL COURT....THERE ARE OTHER PPL IN THIS WORLD OTHER THAN U!!!!!!!! anyways she is treating one of my best friends like crap. blondie helped her with her suicidelness and this is how she thanks her...by saying that she id trying to be depressed?! when i read that i was in so much shock i though i was gonna hell WTF?!?! out loud. tat would have been bad cuz my mom is home. anyways courts not the only selfish person i have to deal with. brian is treating me like crap. he used to like me and he said he still did but i dont believe him. he ignores me now, he doesnt call or call me back when he says he will, he doesnt walk me to my classes anymore, he never tries to cheer me up like he used to. its like im just a piece of dirt on his shoes. i mean come on...u dont treat a girl like a queen and tell her your in love with her and then all of a sudden start treating her like crap. no wonder he cant keep a girlfriend for very long. when i called him at 7.30 he said he would call me back cuz he was doing his math homework (which i dont know if i believe cuz he never usually does his HW). well its alomot 9.00 and he still hasnt called. he cant call cuz i cant get calls after nine. im just sick of everyone treating me life im not human anymore. my friends keep making all of these promises to me and ten they keep breaking them, they are keeping secrets from me, they are lying to me, what happened? i dont get this. actually its kinda a good thing he hasnt called me back. if he had...he wouldnt have gotten chewed out...and i can be pretty harsh when im lecturing or yelling at ppl. its a gift. anyways i g2g. ttyl.
-ME
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can chaser by profession
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CrazyBlondeOne
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2004 5 January :: 8.13pm
:: Mood: shocked
:: Music: nothing
this shit is getting old...real fast
omg...im so mad right now..and depressed i dont think i can talk about it. im mad at courtney for how she is treating one of my best friends and im just depressed for other reasons. any wys i might tell u all later...but not now.
-ME
can chaser by profession
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billyfan
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2004 5 January :: 12.53pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: blake talking next to me!
hey
I am cold. ya all know how Sara was sayin she is depressed and all but she really is not. i think she is tryin to be, i c'mon oh guys look at me over here i am depressed pay attention to me blah blah blah crap. i really have the the like depression disease andi have to take medication some times. Over the long break since i had no one to talk to, that knife was lookin pretty good. I cant tell wat was oin on right now bu it made me feel like shit. I remember if i even ate anything then except a small salad fo dinner because that is all b=my dad would let me have. Every one thinks i am ich because of the Fancy shit i got, but they have the same things they just did nt get them at one time. I cant tell enough times, i am so not a rich ass bich!!!! i swear we never go shopping, maybe like once ever four months we go and look at clothing stuff, head the word look. You guys always talk about the neew things you get, try and rememba a time befo christmas i did, not many hu, eception baby guini's. I dont give a fuck about life ne mo i want to die i really do! I was in the shower sitting on the bottom of it and cryin while the water hit ma face. i was cryin about things you dont know about and things ya do. I am sorry that you guys are not talkin o me but i guess that is wat ya want. Oh and ne of ya want any of the GoOsER guys email adresses tell me wich one and i'll post it fo ya!
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CrazyBlondeOne
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2004 4 January :: 2.21pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: nothing
uhhhh....hi
uhhhhh...im bored. i have nothing to do. i started working on my guitar but my finger started to hurt and my hands were cramping so i decided to take a break. i will work on it later. i really want to take lessons...i think it will seriously help. i have nothing to do...i finished my homework yesterday...except for my book...but i will read later. i want to change the background on this thing but i havent found one i quite like. well i think im gonna go and work on my guitar some more. practice makes perfect. ttyl.
-ME
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CrazyBlondeOne
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2004 4 January :: 9.51am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: the sound of a mvie in the other room
nothing...just bored
im bored. not that any of u care but oh well. yeah i just woke up so i havent had time to really think about evrything or process everything that going on but oh well. today i have to clean the bathroom and try to finish by book for my book report. oooo fun! not. and im gonna work on my guitar. im teaching myself how to play. yes im happy because yesterday i was my normal persuasive self and i talked my mom into taking me to the music store so i could get an electronic tuner. its great...britt and i have been trying for like FOREVER to tune the stupid thing and we couldnt do it. but now i finally have a tuned guitar thanks to my QwikTune guitar tuner. lol. anywyas yeah...im gonn teach myself how to play and then im gonna save up for an electric guitar. yeah brian called last night. i talked to him for a little while...not very long though...and britt called me back too. i thought she would be happier about my guitar than she was...after all she did kill her fingers helping me tune it and trying to tighten the god damn D string. anyways thats a whole 'nother story. yeah i talked to blondie online last night for a really long time. but yeah as soon as my mom is done in the shower im gonna take my and then im gonna clean the bathroom...or maybe i will wait to do that later. i dunno. and im gonna spend most of the day with my guitar. well i have stuff to do. ttfn.
-ME
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CrazyBlondeOne
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2004 4 January :: 9.14pm
:: Mood: empty and lost
:: Music: nothing
all alone
im so bored. i have nobody to talk to. i tried calling brittanie a million times but she wont answer her phone. i tried calling brian a million times and he wont answer his phone. i got online hoping blondie would be on so i could talk to her...but she isnt on. i feel so...alone. brian never calls anymore and i wish he would. to tell ya the truth...i miss him. not because i havent seen him in alomost two weeks..but because its like i dont exist to him. now i wish he still liked me...then he would always call. and besides even though it did annoy me sometimes...it still made me feel special and important. now its like blondie is the only one who seriously cares right now. i feel invisible to everyone else. anyways blondie is on now...and i dont want to bore you guys to death with my pathetic feelings. so adios.
-ME
can chaser by profession
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CrazyBlondeOne
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2004 3 January :: 1.21pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: i have a Mest song stuck in my head
i wish...
im so bored. i have nothing to do. im babysitting my sisters right now cuz my mom went to the movies. i dont mind babysitting so much because i need the money and plus i have nothing better to do. im really bored and im waiting to see if blondie is ever gonna get on so i can talk to her. im bored. yeah you know how i said that brian didnt like me anymore? well he does...just not as much. big whoop. anyways im feeling really depressed right now. i miss how things used to be...before i went out with danny and before brittanie went out with brian. i miss how things were towards the beginning of te school year. i miss how britt and i used to have long conversations about all the sh!t we were dealing with and we would help each other with problems and stuff. i miss how she used to always call me after school and we would complain about things. i miss how brian and danny would call me at night and we would talk for a long time...just about stupid stuff. i miss the feeling i had when i found out danny liked me and i miss the feeling i had when i first started going out with him. i miss the long conversations i had with brian. we would talk for hours and hours and we talked about everything...stupid random things and then we would talk about serious deep stuff. i liss how we used to always play truth or dare over the phone. i miss how josh would always give me hugs and stuff after school before he moved. i miss how i would freak out whenever i saw Dustin last year. i miss how things used to be. i miss how seventh grade was and i miss how the beginning of eighth grade was. i wish that Brittanie and brian had never gone out and that emilee and dominic had never gone out. i even wish that i still liked danny and i was still going out with him. as wierd as that sounds. i miss the good feeling i used to get whenever danny talked to me in PE. i miss everything how it used to be (to a point). i want PE to be fun again...i just want to be happy again. i wish the everyone else felt the same way about this as i did...because if they did...we could get it back. but they dont. they dont see anything wrong with the way things are now. they dont see anything wrong with britt and danny going out. they just think things are hunky dory...but they arent. i just want everyone to be happy again...i want everyone to be able to smile again and mean it. i want to be able to actually be happy and not have to pretend i am when im not. i just want things back to how they were before.
-ME
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can chaser by profession
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CrazyBlondeOne
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2004 2 January :: 7.13pm
:: Mood: just...blah
:: Music: nothing
blah
hey. i havent updated in a while. oh well. i have been busy. there is too much that has happened lately to explain all of the details but i will try. well brian doesnt like me anymore...he likes brittanie (his best friends girlfriend...who s my best friend). that is kinda good...at least i have him off of my back. danny made me feel REALLY bad last night...he said something to me that made me feel like an evil witch that deserved to die. yeah...i had a good long talk with brittanie about everything that is bugging me. that helped a lot. i think brian and danny are mad at me but danny says that neither of them are...but i dunno. i keep trying to call brian but nobody will answer his phone. I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO HIM. i have things i need to straighten out with him. anyways i g2g. i have issues to deal with. ttyl.
-ME
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