billyfan
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2004 4 April :: 8.07pm
:: Mood: pissed
:: Music: none
ahhhhh!
well it needed to be done no more public woohu so i am only doin freinds now. so leave me a coment and i will put ya on ma friends list if you are not there already.
blah blah blah
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fuck off sara!
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billyfan
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2004 28 February :: 8.15am
:: Mood: sad and i dont really no why
:: Music: MTV yaya
hey
Scott was such a jerk yesterday, he came up to our meeting with bartsch and i did not mind much, but i thought he should know hwy we have those fuckin meetings, so i showed him and sade it was fake and and so he told all his friends that i am so pissed off, i dont think ne of them remembe but that was really a close one cuz if ne otha teacher beside mr b finds out theywould surely tell ma parents. well i got to go finish ma project fo presentation day today in 4h blah boring. Sara i hope you feel beter! Sierra happy oops i forgot but remembered yesterday bithday, i no it was on wednessday but i will try and get yo present to ariel so she can give it to you on mon. or tues.
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billyfan
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2004 27 February :: 2.28pm
:: Mood: sigh
:: Music: scot and blake are dancing hee
heee tee hee
hey sar r u sick i am a little sick sierra call me. well ya got to go ya well ttyl!
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billyfan
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2004 25 February :: 4.50am
:: Mood: hey
:: Music: tic toc
hi
ma parents once again will not be home until 8. Where is the fuckin rain gone, now we have this god damn wind i like wind with dark clouds above, but not wind with sunny skies. i know it is like my law not to talk about other people on here but i will make an exception. i think that sara and i are starting to get along better. that is all i will say on that topic. well there goes my toast gotta find the peanut butter.
1 hey you to? |
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billyfan
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2004 23 February :: 4.22am
:: Mood: sad hurt
:: Music: crunch crunch ashley is chewing in ma ear!
hey ya
Sara i dont want to call ya a liar but i read ova ma last 1 and your name was not in it. ne wayz the stuff i said in it was really tru and serious okay, i struggle with a lot of things you guys dont know about, things i dont think i can ever tell ne 1. i mean thhese things hurt really bad, and that is why i am so sad all tha time, i also have clinicle depression, and Wow ash that is beutiful ( sorry ashley is playing a piece of beatoven on tha piano and it is magnificent, i am so proud of her she is so smart and pretty and way confident in herself. well ne way, and scince i have depression that gives me.. umm well let us just say, heart problems and from time to time that is really painful, and i feel like i cannot breath, but that is not tha stuff i wot ell ya. i am sorry sara really i am sorry everyone else, i am just not good wit friends i guess, because i did not have ne beside gel and ao until i was in the sixth grade! i guess i really missed out. i always try to be nice, and when i am not i feel bad and punish myself. i am only hu...well i am created by God ne way. well i just want to say that you guys make me mad suntimes cuz you, always prefer to go and talk to sum1 else instead of me and well everyone does it. well i gotta go ashley want me to play, i am actually pretty good i took piano for 2 years i gues none of ya knew that. ya actually dont know a lot about me truely ya dont. well ya bye
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billyfan
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2004 21 February :: 9.49am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: sara's song on her woohu
i gotta tell you this
last nite ma parents were gone like usual until like befo i went to bed, so i was home alone. this was afta i replied to saras thing. ne way i turned on Gc's the young and the hopeless song and i put it way loud, i closed ma door. i lost it i could'nt take it ne more i felt like dying rite there sooooo bad i am so serious im not lyin, i screamed so loud, i am suprised the neighbors did not come over to see if i was okay, then i turned the music hiegher, and i grabbed my backpak and pulled out my books and threww them on the floor and i took out my old homework assignments and tore them up and threw them evverywhere, i pushed everything off my desk on the floor i grabbed my clothes from my closet and threw them all on the ground, once my room was completely tore up, i sat in the middle of my mountain of mess and i cried, and cried and screamed and yelled at God for fucking me up so badly. then i opened ma window and laid on my bed and passed out for a few min. cuz of the stress, once i woke up i cleaned up my mess put everything back, and to ma parents it was as if nothin eva happened. i am not tryin to make ya'll feel sorry for me, i just want to say that sumtimes i cant take tha pressure ne more and i say things i dont mean to. and well i dont mean to complain but i have a hard time at home okay, yesterday, when i to up ma room, i was thinking hard on suicide, cuz ma friends were not bein truthful, or bein tha way friends should be, or i was thinking about just hoppin o ma sk8 board and just goin wherever i could far away from ma house, but once i calmed down i realized it was not Gods fault or ne one elses, and i was scared that nite i was scared of killin maslef i wanted to die so bad, but i still had a will to live. sumtimes when i come to school i am holdin back sumthin that can neva be told, and it tears me up inside, i am not saying you guys dont have that problem, cuz if ya do you dont always tell me and that hurts you i am sure, so now i am telling you cuz i wanted ya'll ta no. well i gotta go to work so please call me ma fone is on. i really do love all of you reallly
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billyfan
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2004 20 February :: 3.48am
:: Mood: sigh
:: Music: tic toc
hey
hi how r all of ya. i had kinda a sucky day to start ith, and it just ended worse. well i gotta talk to gell, Please sum one call me!!!!!!!!
can chaser by profession
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CrazyBlondeOne
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2004 19 February :: 3.31pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Silver and Cold by AFI
quiz
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