forget my name

forget my name

:: 2004 29 May :: 8.51pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: 3rd strike- no light

on the outside looking in no light

today my uncle eli and his family left to go back home to oklahoma. i was supose to go with them, but my father didn't think it was a good idea........roar! ass.

i have been really looking forward to going back up there with them. you have no idea.

oh god. it would have been super awesome to get out of sarasota for the whole month.
whatever......

hm. but i had somewhat fun while they were down. it gave me something to do.

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blacktears844

:: 2004 3 June :: 3.40pm

Today was our last day of school. I got loads of pictures but I doubt that I'm going to transfer them to a CD. Haha my friend Mandy braided my WHOLE head today in tiny braids. It looks awesome, I wish it would stay that way. I might get dreads this summer. But I wouldn't want to cut off all my hair when I was tired of them. Ah well. Well I'm going over to Christina's for a bit today to get one roll of film developed. I'm getting the other one developed later because this roll is going to cost more considering I'm getting it done in the One-Hour-Photo deal.

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blacktears844

:: 2004 2 June :: 3.53pm

WHOOOOOA
I won the writing contest I was entered in at my school. ^_^ I was so surprised when they called my name. I was definetly not expecting it. Well my prize was $25 so I smell some shopping my near future. Mooha. We had a dance today too. And we got free pizza and drinks, y0. Mhm.

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blacktears844

:: 2004 1 June :: 5.13pm
:: Music: "Vermilion" - Slipknot

y0
I just took a SHITLOAD of pictures of all my friends at school. I might have it transfered into a CD thingy to where I can post all the pictures on here and stuff. I haven't smoked for TWO DAYS. *dances* Well....one and a half at least. I'm trying to quit it early on. Things are going somewhat better. T33n4ag3 4ng2t. ^_^ Mooha. Well I have to get all dressed up tomorrow because we have this fancy schmancy thing at school tomorrow.

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blacktears844

:: 2004 29 May :: 3.12pm

Arg
Ah I'm grounded for god knows how long. Starting tomorrow. I walked over to my friend's house yesterday and I was supposed to call my mom when I got there but I completely forgot because I had other things on my mind and she came over there and got all pissed and starting tomorrow I'm grounded. So, yeah, I probably won't be updating for a while.
Things haven't been going so well, really, I've even taken up smoking. *SHAME*
Hopefully they'll get better. See you all later.

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blacktears844

:: 2004 26 May :: 3.54pm
:: Music: Duality - Slipknot

I push my fingers into my eyes
Today has been an odd day. It's felt like I've been on drugs the whole time and the whole day has just been a dream. Like it wasn't really me living it, it was just some big movie or something. Then during the last part of school I had the worst stomach cramps known to man. They weren't like oh-shit-I-got-my-period cramps they were like, Midol-cannot-even-try-to-cure-the-evil-Antichrist-pain. And it's not even that time of the month, nor is it near that time. They've gone away for the most part now, but I still feel a bit dizzy. Oh yeah, I was talking to my ex boyfriend yesterday on the net, and he was grilling me to see if I liked this certain boy and then he said, "You know I would get really mad if you dated anyone else." Then he avoided me all of today. I still want to be his friend, but I will never like him the way he wants me to. Arg. On a lighter note...or louder note, I bought the new Slipknot album last night. $9.95 at Wal-Mart, baby! It's not too bad. "Duality" has grown on me so much. I didn't even used to like Slipknot that much. Well I have to go to my dad's soon, and I really don't want to go because I'm not in that great of a mood, and whatever mood I'm in, HE'LL go into that mood to let me know "what it feels like" when I'm in that mood. He can be so childish.

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blacktears844

:: 2004 25 May :: 6.59pm

If there is one person you can't stop thinking about, post this same exact sentence in your journal.

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blacktears844

:: 2004 25 May :: 7.05pm

I <33 Marissa
I told you I'd make you one hun!

Wub ya!

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blacktears844

:: 2004 24 May :: 4.17pm

Ooo my London After Midnight shirt came in the mail today. It's so perrrty. <33

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blacktears844

:: 2004 23 May :: 5.57pm
:: Music: The Dying Song - The Cruxshadows

=(
I just got back from my neighbor's funeral. It's strange---even though I didn't know him that well, I cried like a baby. =(
I will miss him though...he used to sing on his front porch all the time and he had such a great voice. I used to love listening to him.
I am about go out at 6:00 for my late birthday dinner with my mom and dad. This will be the first time they've done something together since...Christmas. I hope they don't tear each other's heads off.
I am going to dye my hair tonight too. Same color, only hopefully this time it will last.
I love you all.

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blacktears844

:: 2004 22 May :: 7.59pm

Well my friend Lisa just left after spending the night. Mhm. She tried to hook me up with her friend Preston but it just didn't...click. I think I am going to pick up my pictures from when Emily spent the night, but I won't be able to put them on here because I didn't get a digital disposable camera this time. Damn my not having a scanner. Oh yeah, and I also bought a new AFI shirt and some cherry earrings. I had never seen this paticular AFI shirt before, it has a picture of the boys in the Art of Drowning era, but yet the AFI logo is from the Sing The Sorrow era. It's awesome anyway.

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blacktears844

:: 2004 20 May :: 4.01pm
:: Music: Bagdad Jones

I haven't updated with a real entry in a while. Well that whole liking the same boy thing is resolved. Apparently she doesn't like him anymore. He said he didn't like her, so she got over him pretty quick. MORE FOR ME. God I am a selfish bitch. =(

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blacktears844

:: 2004 19 May :: 4.14pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: The Cure foo

Just Like Heaven - The Cure
"Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"The one that makes me laugh" she said
And threw her arms around my neck
"Show me how you do it and I promise you
I promise that I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you"

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
"Why are you so far away?" she said
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?
That I'm in love with you?"

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream...

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone
Alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Just like heaven

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blacktears844

:: 2004 16 May :: 3.50pm

Well Emily just left. She came over to my dad's last night, and then came over here to my house when my mom came to pick me up. I'm bored as hell.

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BleedingHeart

:: 2004 16 May :: 12.24am
:: Mood: indescribable
:: Music: yellowcard- only one

here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
... if you only knew how i truly feel

...you have know idea how greatly i have been effect, damaged, and torn

************************************

eh. my breath has shortened.

i can't stop the tears. they just keep flowing out from my eyes.

whole body is shaking

...you musn't know my secrets, and i musn't let them slip.

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