blacktears844
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2003 31 July :: 2.53pm
:: Mood: crazy
:: Music: Don't want to think about it
Lost Lullaby
Simple as I am
The lies around
Are convincing me there's nothing right there
Outside only breeze
Cold that rescues me
The wound in here
Is reminding me that I'll be one day
Just a broken wheel in your way
I don't want to please you forever
While the magic dice
Are on the ground
It's so hard to decide between myself and you
Pain is covering me
As a healing wind
That clears the sky
Will you promise me the things you told me?
Will you give me everything I want?
I don't want to please you forever
No lies, I'm purified
And no more failure in my life
Water onto my fire
I don't want to please you forever.
-Lacuna Coil
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blacktears844
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2003 31 July :: 2.19pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Mother's Country Music
Wow, I'm cheerful. Probably because I won't have to sit here and feed my internet addiction, and actually go somewhere. Like to my friend's house. Yay. I wanna get some more clothes. For school, I mean. Woo. I have absolutely nothing to write about. So I guess I'll just stop.
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blacktears844
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2003 31 July :: 12.46pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Lost Lullaby- Lacuna Coil
It's 12:43 PM now. Wow, I managed to keep myself away from this diary for more than two hours. Actually, alot longer than that. I might go over to my friend's house today. But I might have already told you that. God, I don't even know what I have already written. This is getting a bit sad.
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blacktears844
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2003 31 July :: 5.53am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Dogs growling
Wow, it's 5:50 AM. And yet here I sit, eyes glued to the screen. I need some Joey Jordison pics. Now.
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-7/274023/Joey_Hammer-Mag_09.jpg
Ahhhhh..........release.
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blacktears844
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2003 30 July :: 3.05pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Murderdolls
Wooo......I'm cheerful. This is probably the only time that you'll see me in this mood. I have no idea why I'm so cheerful either, it's a bit sad. Maybe cause I'm listening to Murderdolls. But I always do that, and sometimes I just feel like crap. Oh well.
*D-E-A-D that's how I wanna be*
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blacktears844
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2003 30 July :: 1.50pm
:: Mood: discontent
:: Music: Still Murderdolls
Damn Poem
There's a little girl in the corner
With her arms around her knees
She's contaminated through and through
She hates her new disease
She hopes you can forgive her
And forget what she did wrong
So all she'll do is sit and cry
And sing this little song
That little girl in the corner
Who lives for cuts and pain
I'm the little girl in shadow
Driving myself insane
Until you remember I'm human
And we all make mistakes
I'll sing my little song
And drown myself in hate.
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blacktears844
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2003 30 July :: 1.46pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Murderdolls
Wow, I'm back. At least it's a different day.
I cut yesterday. For the first time in two days. My record is broken. My I was so BORED. I'm bored now. But nothing sharp is around. My mom threw my safety pin away. I have to go to my dad's again. Oh joy. Not much to write about right now. Like there ever is.
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blacktears844
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2003 29 July :: 3.26pm
:: Mood: pessimistic
:: Music: Kittie
God. This is my 11th time writing. In one day. I need a life. Now. I can't find a razor, so the cutting will have to wait.
Yay, here's a saftey-pin. I'll have to improvise.
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blacktears844
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2003 29 July :: 3.22pm
:: Mood: pessimistic
:: Music: Mom blowing her nose
That should be my eternal mood. Because it is I, the eternal pessimist. What is this, like my third or fourth time writing today? And none of it was of any meaning. I'm just sitting here, drinking a Wild Cherry Pepsi. Such an interesting life. My dog has gone mental. I need a restraining order from these pets. I feel like cutting. Now.
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blacktears844
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2003 29 July :: 2.28pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Voices
Hahahahahaha this kept me amused. Finally, something to be happy about.
http://www.redmusic.com/goths/warning.html
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blacktears844
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2003 29 July :: 2.25pm
:: Mood: artistic
:: Music: None
Here's what I look like:
http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=999&gid=2464623&vid=1296843&members=1
There ya go. You get to sit through my whole unfortunate album.
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blacktears844
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2003 29 July :: 2.16pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Dog Barking
Yes, I am back again. Sad, isn't it? My mom has got up. She's fixing her coffee. Coffee doesn't sound that bad right now. I'm insanely bored. *dum dee dum dum*
My mom is always snooping in my crap. Even when I'm typing on the computer, she's all hanging over my shoulder, eyes fixiated to the screen. It's none of her business. She always asks me what sites I'm on, and she doesn't need to know. I know she's just being protective, but she needs to back off a bit. She is getting a bit more lenient with my dressing habits. She doesn't nag constantly when I wear black, and she let me dye my hair black. So I guess I'm lucky. And she doesn't say much about my music. Well, some, but she doesn't mind AFI. She hates Murderdolls though, but that is expected because she doesn't realize that most of their songs are meant for a joke. God, this whole long fucking entry is dedicated to my mother. But for once she is not peering over my shoulder. Shame.
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blacktears844
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2003 29 July :: 12.06pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: the Devotchkas
*D-E-A-D that is how I wanna be*
Woohoo, see I am back. I tried going back to bed, it didn't work. I tried watching Jerry Springer. It only made me laugh. More people cheating on their boyfriends and girlfriends. It's always the same, but yet it somehow entertains me in full. My mom should be getting up soon. Joy upon all joys. God, why do I always have to look upon the negative side of life?? I always do that. Oh well. I will try to be more optimistic. It's going to be fun watching this plan crash and burn misrabley. THERE I GO AGAIN. I'll just shut up. It's best that way.
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blacktears844
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2003 29 July :: 10.24am
:: Mood: Still curious.
:: Music: Still Slipknot.
Shit, didn't work.
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blacktears844
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2003 29 July :: 10.21am
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: Slipknot
See if this works:
Simplistic Pessimist
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