justplainolemica

I am in a strange mood as of lately. I dont know exactly what it is or what to call it or how to describe it but its weird. I guess I will try to explain it like this. Most of my days I am with people: classes, work, family, Charlie, friends, etc. But then I come home and thats where this weirdo feeling fits in. It's a mixture of sickness, fear, sarrow (yes sarrow and not just sadness), and complete mellowness. I dont know what it is, or what causes it but I'm not a big fan of this feeling. Especially that fear part. I've been having the worst nightmares lately. Like everynight something bad happens in my dreams. And they are just silly dreams, not my typical nightmares.
See, when I was littler I only had a few select nightmares that repeated themselves. There was the beetlejuice one (still creeped out by that man), the mattress one, and the teacher one. That was it, just those three. Now I have these new ones. And lumberjacks seem to be in all of them. Sometimes, like last night, they were even very nicely dressed lumber jacks. And these new ones I always die. I physically see myself die.
Ever have dreams like that? I haven't, I dont like seeing me die, not something I enjoy at all. And I'm starting to think that these dreams are spilling into my real life. Each morning I wake up alone and have to go to my car. I open the door and walk as quickly as I can to my car where I get in quickly and lock my door quickly. Reverse of that is true when coming home. I always drive with my doors locked incase some lumber jack decides he needs in at a stop sign or red light, etc. It just sucks to have this new feeling of fear to do things and go places.
Yeah so thats what I am going to write about today. You read it, be happy about it, cuz theres prolly no changin it. Although I am going to look up lumberjack in my dream dictionary!

2 yes....here. | do it up.