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2005 21 April :: 11.34 am
hm...just when i figure out he is just an ass...and that when i drive by his road now...i dont even think about him...when i haven't talked about him in days....he calls and wants to hang out....twice. god damnet....weston fucking called me and said he missed me. needless to say how hard it was to tell him i never wanted to hang out with him again. all he said was...you never want to hang out with me again?....thats all you had to say. good night.
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2005 20 April :: 12.05 pm
CANT WAIT FOR MY SHOWER TOMORROW! IM SO EXCITED! LOL
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2005 19 April :: 12.14 pm
my dear friend josh wanted me to write an entry for his behalf. ....
so here it goes....
we are going to skip part of our class to go get slurpies. im so excited. hes mad right now cause i wouldnt let him read something. oh well. hes my buddy!
ode to joshy woshy
joshy woshy is so foxie
all the girls fall down
then with the lift from the corner of his lip
well present him with his crown
a crown of simple purity even though he can be quite a dick
it doesnt matter with joshy woshy cause no one will forget
that joshy woshy is a kooala bear and can love you when he wants
too bad right now im on the wrong side i do haunt.
angry joshy woshy is not fun to me
but knowing that one day he'll care
makes me yell yipeeeeeeeeee!
with lots of love joshy
~casey
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2005 19 April :: 12.08 pm
really corny poem...sorry
if only he could realize how great we would be.
if only he would realize that person hes searching for is me
the one person who would do whatever for him is me
the one person that really cares about him is me
the one person that will wait for him is me
hoping one day he realizes the person hes waiting for is me.
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2005 18 April :: 12.05 pm
:: Music: varsity
when i want one the one that once was wants me
muskegon tom called me while i was at work last night about 10 pm and asked if i had any plans...i said why...he said im about two minutes away from your house.....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! i was supposed to go over to jasons and we were going to watch a movie. tom had even called my mom to make sure it was okay that he came over to surprise me....so i had to tell jason that i couldnt go there. i dont know he was fine about it and then asked me who this tom was. and then he said i was ditching him...again....although i really dont remember when else i did it. so tom and i hung out lastnight...i told him about jason. how i like him but how he just wants to be friends. i fell asleep and druled on his chest and snored really loud....lol.. him comming over just made me realize how much more i like jason. wow. i was so concerned.....about it. he called me around 12:30 and asked if tom was still there. he was. so i was talking to jason on the phone while sitting next to tom. jason knew he was right next to me and kept asking me if i wanted to make out with him....so tom would hear me say yes. in a way i felt as though jason was testing me....i dont know. so this mornign i went to jasons before school and we watched a movie together....yup and ....yup...still didnt work.....im getting hopeless. i like him sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo MUCH!
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2005 13 April :: 12.02 pm
im ninteen as of yesterday! gosh dont you love birthdays and realizing how important you are to people? love it! puts you back where you belong.
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2005 11 April :: 11.40 am
read!
i like him so much. but i dont think it goes both ways. its on then its off...then its on then its off. i cant stand hearing him talk about other girls. we had one good night.....where i felt like the feeling was semi mutual. another night he talked about how he had sex with alyssa (one of his ex's) that afternoon...and i wouldnt let him touch me. i was pissed. then he told me he was just joking...and that it was cute that i cared so much. i was sitting on the slide and he came over and kissed me...a peck but he came to me and did it! my stomach hurts cause im talking about him so im going to go....wow...for once i hope that i dont get my heart broken...i would just like this chance.
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2005 31 March :: 11.46 am
read people i need advice
one minute we are cuddling and the next minute ...he has a crush on someone. someone else. one minute i feel so close to him and the next....ive never wanted to be more far away. its weird...cause he'll put his arm around me and pull me closer and then that same night he says we are never going to be anything. exact words...."if we ever go out...which we probably wont, then well be together a long time." thats all we have more than him and any other girl is what he says. but after that he says "i think im crushing on kim" i say...well okay. i dont get how you are not ready to have something...tell me not to rush things, and then you tell me how you want to be with someone else. shes a bitch. she has a boyfriend, and the way she talks to him its like she doesnt. she tells him they need to hang out and then shell stand him up. and for some reason he likes her. i knew this would happen. when i finally get brave enough to move on hell do something to make me feel like he could like me.....like for instance....well be at a store.....i wont touch him...well just be walking...then hell grab my hand and hold on the rest of the way. i dont get this. at all and i want to stop liking him....more than anything, but everytime i make head way something happense which i guess gives me false hope. I think that we could be so perfect together. id do anything for that chance. but if we do end up together in the end....ill most likely feel as if i was never his first choice and that he was settling for me.
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2005 30 March :: 7.53 am
so anyways. i went to a pure romance party yesterday. it was fun. got some good stuff! and won some unscented lubricant. that was cool. and i plan on using what i bought...well maybe not seeing as how i dont have anyone to use it with.....jessi? becca? hilllalrlrryryry!!!!!! we need a get to gether and a video cam lol.
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2005 28 March :: 12.08 pm
so...i think that i am doing good with the getting over him bit. go me! not really. its so hard. we went to westgate the other day, and he held my hand! he reached for my hand! of course he had some alcohol in him but do you think i care? nope! your crazy if you do! it was so nice. he told me that he looked forward to my calls at 2:45 when i get out of school and right before soccer. he told me i mean a lot to him. and im his best friend. he told me that it meant a lot to him when i took him to court that mornign.he told me that it meant a lot to him when i was getting sick cause i thought he was going to jail...cause it meant he knew i cared....I CARED AND CARE A LOT! and he told me i was special and if anyone ever hurts me hell kick their ass. he told me he wouldnt let me get used by guys anymore. he is the reaason im so happy all the time, and hes the reason im so sad. he told me it was too bad that i had to work sunday cause his family was going out.....which means i think that he wished i could go with him. i stood up to my dad and told him to quit being a jerk cause i like jason. my family likes him. I like him. my mom even told him that she wished he could have been with them on easter. (i had to work so i didnt even eat with my family i got cold leftovers. I sat with his mom,sister and his sisters boyfriend and looked at family pictures...mostly of when he was younge.....so cute! i just love being this close to him. it is nice. saturday sucked at first and then got better. i hung out with him pretty much every day this week. and weekend. wow. hes such a great person!
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