butterfly
|
::
2009 25 March :: 9.27pm
I seem to like... always fuck shit up. I don't mean too, but I guess I'm just too good at it to quit??
I thought I was ready... I thought I wanted this. It felt so right... but then that feeling faded and my stomach was churning and my heart ached. It was as if it was saying, "seriously? you're putting me through this pain and struggle yet again?"
So I listened to it and backed out.
I didn't want to hurt him if I did... I just need to get my shit straight.
And I'm hesitant to start something again with me here and him there. But moving would be ridiculous. And I'm not going to move. For the first time in a really long time I'm happy with my friends and my family... I couldn't make myself move, ever.
That's just the way it is.
And I'm sorry for that.
Honestly.
1 stay strong |
I'm doing everything
|
angel_bob
|
::
2009 25 March :: 1.19am
I am making a list of emergency places to live in case I don't get a job right away (which will totally NOT happen because I am totally awesome).
Our lease is up here at the end of June. If I don't get something before then, we'll be trapped in Michigan, homeless and living off only Nick's pay (because my work won't be able to keep me on after graduation and I don't want to stay there any longer than necessary).
Obviously a list is needed. Both to calm my nerves and to prepare for craziness.
I applied to a buttload of jobs earlier this week and I'm sending my transcript to one tomorrow.
Now it is just waiting and more searching.
I do not like this waiting part.
I'm doing everything
|
xxxxxxxxxx
|
::
2009 23 March :: 1.24pm
:: Mood: amused
Haha. I think it's still funny. I really really do.
I love how people just keep on keepin' on.
I mean, here I am at CC waiting for my class to start, and all I have to do is meander around online looking at all of the stupid idiotic people on facebook. Yep, we've all got one. Personally, it's creepy as all hell, but it's a good source of entertainment. (I HATE MY LAPTOP) sorry, anyways, now that I've stopped deleting every one of my meaningless sentences..
Hm. I just find it hilarious that girls think it's awesome to be rail thin, drink and smoke their asses off (wow, hypocritical..), find out who's breaking up with who, make drama even though they think they're being all cute, fuck guys left and right and wonder why they're getting fucked over themselves? Hah. Haha.
Go eat a cheese burger.
15 stay strong |
I'm doing everything
|
|
angel_bob
|
::
2009 22 March :: 11.35pm
I NEED A JORB
I graduate in 48 days, people. I want out of Michigan. I want a job/career/whatever. I need one.
One of the girls who graduated LAST YEAR just got a job. I do not want to be her. I work with a girl who graduated last year and is just hanging around at this job trying to find something. I do not want to be in that position.
Hyperventilating,
me
9 stay strong |
I'm doing everything
|
|
butterfly
|
::
2009 14 March :: 12.32am
:: Music: Hand In My Pocket - Alanis Morissette
I'm brave, but I'm chickenshit.
Tuesday.
10:45.
1 stay strong |
I'm doing everything
|
|