that is so retro

:: 2003 11 December :: 9.40pm

longggg day.
mmmm the taste of blood.

i got the wisdom teeth pulled. it didn't hurt. just tons of blood. hasn't stopped bleeding since like 11am today and it is now 9:30pm. i am very dizzy and light headed tho. so i gotta go. i cant sit here any longer.

p.s. i got the blink182 cd today <3

1 . | <3

spinoangel

:: 2003 11 December :: 7.26pm
:: Mood: soooooooooooo sos sos so so tired
:: Music: silence

WAKE ME UP! man.

1 . | <3

:: 2003 11 December :: 7.03pm

sigh

3 . | <3

:: 2003 10 December :: 11.45pm
:: Mood: impressed
:: Music: jingle bells

hiccup. can i get u a tissue?
so yeah when does school suck these days? i dont think it ever does. i got everything i need right in the comfort of my own school. but not no more...

+Hema is leaving to Spanish River
+Ally is just dropping IB
+Dominic is leaving to boca high
as for me.... i'm almost outta there. give it til' the end of the year.... jonah is praying that i fail out. cuz then.... santaluces, here i come.

ib is like a family. u know who everyone is, and whether they are ur bros and sisters or if they are ur annoying uncles and aunts. lol its great. wutta good description, get off me. lol goodness. only i dont have any ib ppl who i would like to relate as my annoying aunts and uncles because as i wuz telling jonah... these ppl are "special" they are ppl who are respectful and intelligent. u will never find a bunch of friends like this... ever again. the rest just talk bullshit and try to be swift and talk. but it just doesnt work.

chem - normal? lol she looks like a groundhog! MOLE! lmao.

spanish - lotsa food for us. our group did our presentation... .go us!

lunch - um.... we ate?

english - got hit on by an unusual person... jonah wants to come to school... to beat him up... but i don't think thats necessary. pretam remember.... he also said that black girl wuz hot... lol.

p.e. - jimmy wuz there! ALLYSON BLAIS! ally come on lets kill clark... we won't see him again after exams lol no evidence lets go!

bus ride home - ummm o yeah i sat with my brother... jb. he's so awesome, no matter wut ppl say about him. i am the only one allowed to say anything about him... cuz he's my brother lol. mommy mommy! lol

got home... found out sumthin with jonah. talked to whitney about it. whitney reassured me that everything wuz ok. i couldn't reach hema... she wuz at work, so i couldnt talk to her about it. but jonah got online... and i confronted him about telling sum girl that him and i were going to break up and that i gave jonah a bj... which i didn't do because i have only seen jonah a few times in my life and never wuz it for a sexual reason.... nor would i do that in the first place, considering i am rather.... innocent. (that may be an amazement to most, but its the damn truth) however he told me that it wuz all ok and that he wuz just pissed that day... and as a witness.... i know that when he is mad, things happen with him that cause trouble... so i'm not all that worried of wut he said. we spent a good amount of hours on the phone laughing our booties off about absolutely nothing... i think the both of us were in tears because we were laughing so hard. we called whitney and her n i totally doube teamed him... lol he claims she is turning me into a devil, but omg, so not tru because he has made me want to become a better person... and i... in my opinion, i think i have. except i have this one problem that consists of cracking on ppl that i dont believe fit into society... which i am still trying to fix that habit. but its almost better.

we talked about everything. from sean white to JLO to britney spears to whitney n jonahs old relationship to not being seen in public with him to baseball players and braiding butt hairs to dogs to whitney being rich lol. great times.

lil runt... lol. blub blub. pass the dutch baby. wow.... lmao W-O-W

i wanna runaway n get married lol. run faaaaarrrrrr away... i lov u jonah.

o guess wut... on to better things, lol jk jonah. but... for real i get my wisdom teeth pulled in less than 11 hours... supposively its going to hurt and because i ate kinda late, i might throw up 2morrow.... hooray?! i think not. but i can't wait at the same time... i wont let this hurt me. nooooo way lol. wish me luck.

o.... i dont know if any of u recall but, some time ago.... Amy Duane wuz arrested for having sex with a 13 yr. old and for giving alcohol to underage kids that would consistently visit her house. well this lady wuz the mother of my sister's best friend. and i'd hafta admit that she wuz really cool, i mean i would talk to her every so often and she wuznt bad... but once this incident happened... they moved, and well she went to court today and wuz sentenced to four years of prison and 60 days of sum kinda community stuff. so... her children will be alone with their father for .... 4 years. shame... she wuz shedding tears... i can't begin to accept that someone i knew and talked to every other day for about a year while picking up and dropping off my sister would do such a thing... wow. disappointment.

anyways i am out for the night because i hafta be well rested for this surgery of the wisdom teeth... to think, i am already blonde and now they wanna get rid of the only thing that might of still been keeping me wise? o well. hopefully, i don't get any stupider lol cuz i already be IB stupid. lol goodnight <3

:: 2003 10 December :: 10.56pm
:: Mood: tired

sometimes strength is not determined by how hard you can hold on, but if you can let go

my strength has yet to come. but it is getting there. i think.

had a nice talk with my dad tonight. from... 9 to like 10:30. refreshing. he can be cool when he tries.

i am proud to say that i read 3/4 or so of chapter 9 tonight for economics. now that is will power.
1 more day.. <3

boricuababy

:: 2003 10 December :: 5.53pm
:: Mood: determined
:: Music: clubbin-marques houston

I'M GLAD ALL DIS IS OVA..
well i now kno whoz really got my back and whoz truly behind me all tha way..it juss sux that dis is tha way thingz had to go down...oh well..doesn't matter anymore..

any who..yesterday wuz my second game..i had alotta fun..i saw fay!!!..i wuz like omg!!..he looks soo fine!!!..wow!..i saw him and he wuz like "hey gurl!! wussup??"..and he sat rite by us..i wuz trynna tell him that i cuddnt talk and to wait till half time but he didn't get it..lol..den we got to talk after tha half time show..hez koo..same..nuttenz changed..lol..and sam wuz at tha game too..and wen he saw me he juss started laffin..cuz of wha happened at boomerz and crap..so wen we were doin our thing at half time i wuz juss crackin up..lol..yea..den i got home..got in a fight wid my dad (wha elz is new??)..and den i got really pissed..i wuznt gonna come to skoo 2day but i wuz juss like fuck it..and plus we were reviewing for tha exam in chem..so i cuddn't miss that..so yea..i skipped economics..amara skipped art history..and we went to sammiz class..LMAO..that wuz fun:

bozo: hez talkin to u!!!!
pokey: wha????? (confused look on face)
bozo: HEZ TALKIN TO U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pokey: ohhhhh..(turns around and turns red)
sexiness: r u new??
pokey: nooo..i'm juss skippin..(turns more red..lol)
sexiness: oh iight..koo..(smiles)

wow..that wuz great!!!..lol..x0x0

6 . | <3

:: 2003 9 December :: 9.52pm
:: Mood: bored

Hi my name is Bri and i lov Jonah.
i miss him. almost 2 months... almost there...

good day today. acted up in economics. great class. stats wuz a full house, luckily, i know wut i am doing. art history... GRRRR, lol. damn stecker... DAMN stecker.
joey threw the agenda book on the roof of the bus. i didnt think i would c it again. but my lovely friends... wonderful friends, carlos n sameen got on the bus and opened the emergency exit to get it for me. joey... ur dead lol.

hema's bus wuz late. mr. L gave us a golf kart ride so much fun lol. he's like speedin' n not breakin on the turns... i swore i wuz gonna fall off.
saw another accident today while on her bus. omg it wuz weird cuz like, i just stared at that car like i knew sumthin wuz going to happen to it. +chills+ and then boom. sumthin goes wrong.

got to her house, hung out in the car n looked at the hook upz lol. went to meet her boss, charlie, very very hot. he's like.... 27? dropped off a blockbuster movie, visited her jew bagel, i hafta admit he's not so bad i thought he wuz on the flipside u know, but he is nice to me, like he says hey bri all the time... its kinda cool. then we got home n looked at her lights that she put up... lol we shoulda went back up n fixed 'em hema, it woulda been a trip. but instead we went inside, and while she took a shower, i typed up sumthin for her grandma..... squeak squeak. lmao. and after that... we went to the game. it wuz sucky cuz we lost... but omg... that girl hema, she tried jumpin omg. omg! chicken pox lol.
we talked on the bus ride home about our dads and we have come to the conclusion that they are twins from different countries. wow. lol.

anyways now i am sitting here... should be studying for chem and spanish, should be taking a shower, should be sleeping and doing many other things. peace homie. keep it real... eat pistachios with ur hoes lol.

:: 2003 9 December :: 7.40pm
:: Mood: dorky...lol
:: Music: hey ya

today was actually a pretty good day:

spanish: borign..juss did soem easy work
math: talked with kaila n amara n sameen..then took my test...HARD...
chemistry: talked to amara n carlos n amy..actually took notes at the same time lol..but do we have a test on thurs???
art history: SLEPT..lol..sorry kaila for not waking up...

then i walked around "thugged out"..lmao (kaila)..with my big hoodie on..but hey- i was comfy..thats all that counts

oh yeah! news update..the scary mexican likes me :'( ...he actually asked for me when i wasnt there..and he says hola n adios whenever i see him....and at the same time he rapes me with his eyes lol

amy: im gonna find u some more scary black guys..hahaha..ur great..love u

2 . | <3

:: 2003 9 December :: 4.54pm
:: Music: the used- the taste of ink

in this sea of lonely.. the taste of ink is getting old its, 4 o clock in the fuckin morning each day gets more and more like the last day...
ahh. <3
bus died again today.. on the way to pick us up i suppose. cause we didnt leave school till 3:30. garh. econ test tomorrow, maybe ? im studying, but it might be friday... i dont know. i had a lot more energy yesterday and today than usual. its nice. birthday in 3 days :-D

would it be so terrible for my mood swings to stop and for me to finally be strong for a semi-long time period ?

2 . | <3

alwaysfalling

:: 2003 8 December :: 10.27pm

big news of the week: brother got into UF. mixed feelings about that. even though he's a jerk and always been a jerk to me i will miss him. sad how that is. unconditional love.

big news of the day: christmas tree got put up. only like 2 weeks away? all i want for christmas is you and you and you and you.

that's it. does anyone sleep as much as i? i doubt it. look at the time. more sleep is wanted. good night loveys.

lets go swinging in the trees for a day.

:: 2003 8 December :: 8.59pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: dunno what its called lol

sorry i wasnt in school today, i got a stomach virus in the morning!! :( but im better now n i'll be back tomorrow...

....its sad how things happen. u think oh it'll work out..it always does..nothing could separate us...yea then i woke up n realized i wasnt in reality...

sigh

1 . | <3

:: 2003 8 December :: 8.09pm

hmpf
today was good. i suppose. yearbook eh i cant stand my partner. gosh darnit she thinks every blurry picture is amazing. im sorry, but you CANT FREAKING SEE ANYHING. and she arrgh i cant explain it. this page is gonna suck. fyi. lol. especially annoyed with that comment "oh man.. and the entire team was there, i wonder why i didnt think to take thier team picture" . i told her about 329847982365874368572 times before that to take the gosh darn team picture. ARGH!
econ was fun. giggling and whatnot.
english the whoopie cushion came out. hahahah.
math-> sunil posed for an old navy commercial. im telling you man he belongs on them. lol. we had eagles for excellence. it was fun. might i just say that in all of mr houchins attempts to freaking get his singers good and organized all that time we were in tehre to take his picture, he cant do SHIT. lol. and we got doughnuts. <3 yummm
bus was funny. natalia fell for the whoopie cushion. she wanted to prove that she could touch the ceiling and smoothly sat on it. perhaps the funniest thing thats happened in a while. havent laughed so hard since.. man i cant even remember. farting will never get old. lol. and as we turned the corner out of the busloop, the bus died again. dont they realize that no matter how many times theyre gonna take it in, it just will KEEP ON DYING? and we need a NEW bus ??? oh well. provides much entertainment. i shall go get started on tarea.
i <3 my friends. and thank you for supporting me through all my troubles. i appreaciate it more than i could ever say <3

Lizzy

:: 2003 8 December :: 7.23pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: Taste of Ink

Is it worth it- can you even hear me?
I made a vow, no complaining about the next two weeks, just deal with it. So yea, only positive/ or neutral stuff in here.

It's weird reflecting on how this year has changed so many relationships. It's cool cuz i really haven't lost any friends, but gained SO many. Some people that i barely knew freshie year are some of my best friends now. It's crazy, i love going into an IB assembly and knowing so many people. It is a bit sad, because my three original bfs coming into h.s. and i have grown apart, thankfully not very much though. We've all branched out, but we still are close and depend on eachother which I'm very thankful for. Freshman year, it took awhile for everyone to get adjusted and everyone to find their little "niche". We're still adjusting and finding new people every day. Sometimes I'm surprised at the people my friends have become close with, and changed because of, but at the the same time, we're all experiencing new things and unexpected friendships can form. So yea. Umm lol i dunt know why i started that. But i'm just happy that everyone gets closer and closer every day cuz that's nice that everyone's friends :)

Exhibit D..lol rachie. And that scholarship thing...lmao. NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY YOU CAN'T USE YOUR SCHOLARSHIP MONEY TO BUY CARS! The eagles 4 excellence assembly was nice. Got to see people, get out of ballet exam (at least for today), and get a donut :)

I forgot about writing about the wknd! The eaglette party was really nice. I enjoyed myself. With the food, people, presents, and fun activities it was great. There's a lot of people there that i'd like to get closer with, and luckily we spend so much time 2gether! lol. The parade the next day was hot and caused mucho soreness after. :-( But oh well!

Hm. I have a present idea :) woot. love, love, and more love!

1 . | <3

:: 2003 8 December :: 4.37pm
:: Music: When the lights go out - Five

ha i'm busy dancin' hold up
school wuz great.

bus - sucked.

b4 1st period - hung out with the minority group. pretam throwing his calc book lol.

chem - normal? i missed hema.

spanish - went by kinda fast. i think ms. french thinks i'm smart cuz everytime i answered a question she answered back with, "excellent," or "good job," or "well done". congrats to those groups who went today who weren't really prepared... lol

english - tons of free time.

Briana: ur the bitch
pretam: no ur the bitch
briana: i'm no bitch ur the bitch
pretam: ur the bitch.
briana: i da babi, u da bitch.

Pretam: My AIDS test wuz flawless.
Briana (to Anand): His AIDS test wuz flawless.
Anand: 100% AIDS free.

p.e. - congrats ally lol.
briana: if i wuz married to him, i'd shoot myself.
carly: i agree.
ally: is she ok?!

from the game last night:
Ruby: when we do the move it cheer, we are going... *points to the left* that way.
Ally: do we take our stuff?

i've sent myself on a mission: MaKe ALL DePreSSed iB people, happy. ... sum ppl say this is mission iMPOSSiBLE.

sumthin' i thought about today:
-- i wuz on the bus ride home and noticed how far apart the both of us have grown. we used to say best friends forever and now it's a simple "hello, what's up?" kinda conversation. ppl weren't able to tell us apart b4 and now... ur u, and i'm me. it's great to feel independent, but i just miss that "connection". however, i think it's because the both of us have found others to confide in. its kinda funny, when we meant we thought we were so similiar, but i think it was only because we both only looked for similiarities to make each other more alike. but now, i tend to realize the differences in us. i dont think that other people would ever suspect us to be best friends... i dont think we even give off that best friend vib anymore. but hopefully... @ heart, we r.... its just not the same, but hey ppl grow up and change. maybe i'm just reminiscing on my childhood, trying not to let go of the last thing i had thought i had left. ... i shoulda known this wuz coming... i had seen it happening last year. <3

congrats 2: C_ _ _ _ _ y & R _ _ h
who r engaged =)

*I never wanted to be so unkind
The only one thing on my mind
is just kicking it with you girl

Baby, its not the way I feel you know you must
Believe me baby, its not part of the deal (oh no no)

Baby when the lights go out every single word
Could not express the love and tenderness
I'll show you what its all about babe, I swear you
Will come to me So baby come to me
When the lights go out*

jonah, will u marry me? lol. lov u.

=================
*the party is over here.*
=================
hema - ally - bri

3 . | <3

spinoangel

:: 2003 7 December :: 9.09pm
:: Mood: discontent
:: Music: christina aguilera - "beautiful"

suddenly it's hard to breathe.
edit - yeah i took off the "emotions". it was annoying the hell out of me and it was ruining the specialness of the song. i might put a diff song up later.

ha. wow the days are going by really fast, arent they? every time i update i feel so different from the last and it's just so weird. my head is like in a chaotic mode, and i have no sense of time, no sense of the environment around me, and no sense of what my heart is trying to tell me to do. but it's ok. you know why? because that's a part of growing up and maturing... oncufsion. yeah confusion. things are all messed up, jumbled up, and going everywhere at once. i can honestly say that i think everyone of us is in that mode right now. it's right before the holidays, we're cramming, and experiencing the consequences of procrastination. if we all get through these next two weeks [which we will], we'll all be a lot better.

so friday wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. i surprisingly wasn't tired really. just kinda... out of it like always. that night, nicole told me she was sick soooo even though i said i would see honey no matter what, i didn't. i stayed at home and talked to altan. yeeeeah.

saturday danielle came with us to go xmas shopping at town center. i didn't accomplish much but hey it was alright. and we had some good quality time, ya know? that night danielle and i went to see "the last samurai" with altan. it was more like altan and i went to see it and danielle was in the same movie theatre. because altan was late, like always and i waited for him. it was a good movie. i would like to own that movie. it's very... it feels so epic. it's very moving. and in danielles description, "disturbing". afterwards we chilled at borders. once again... it was more like altan and i and danielle was just in the store. the whole night was very... disturbing. ummm, no details, because nothing happened. things said that i shouldn't say. we went home and danielle slept over. she was quite angry with me. i must say i was/am quite angry with myself for the way i act(ed). danielle and i ended up having like an hour or two of talking. she just kept on talking so of course, i kept on responding. it was funny. but we got a lot of things out. and when we have nights laying in bed and talking like that, i feel a lot better because our friendship strengthens once again. she's going through a tough time. like all of us.

we are not alone. heh. today i spent the WHOLE day doing homework. i just now finished. stupid poetry project. i must admit though, it makes me feel a lot better that i spent my time actually doing something. i can't wait for vacation. i'm going to be SOOO happy after that exam on friday. and then i can fly away for a little while.

my heart... is like in torture. i can't... i have no idea what to do and how to act and how to not end up being hurt. but... i'm just not sure if it's all worth it or not. i feel so unwanted sometimes. and then other times i feel too wanted. does that make sense? it's like back and forth and back and forth. can't something be done so this tug-o-war on my heart ends?

all we have to do is stay strong and depend on each other for support. which we do all the time. as long as everyone leans on someone else, we will all stand in the end. and trust me, we will. because... love is all you really need. and we already have that. what will i do when you leave me?

30 ppl online on my buddylist. not talking to anyone...

*every day is so wonderful... then suddenly... it's hard to breathe. now and then i get insecure from all the pain. i'm so ashamed. we are beautiful no matter what they say. their words won't bring us down. we are beautiful in every single way. their words can't bring us down. so don't you bring me down today.*

don't be brought down. i know i'm trying my best. i know i'm a hypocrite and i should probably read my own words. but you just have to believe. have confidence and faith that it'll all be okay like it's meant to be in the end. and if not... there will always be love and friendship.

3 . | <3

:: 2003 7 December :: 9.10pm
:: Mood: upset
:: Music: soemthing corporate- konstantine

can ONE day pass where i dont feel the need to go postal on one of my parents?
i hate that they find the need to provoke me each and every day.
i hate the way i let them get to me
i hate the way i let them make me feel like shit.
i hate that im so sensitive
i hate that he made me love him and then wasnt here to love me back
i hate how i became so cynical and pessamistic
i hate that i became so insecure
i hate that i question everything
i hate that i get so stressed out.
i hate how people can be so fake and mean.
i hate the amount of stuff i have to do and the amount of time i have to do it in
i hate that i never have any me-time anymore.
i hate that they dont support me.
i hate that im never completely happy.
and that im turning 16 in a few days and theres nothing i want more right now than for it to just be overlooked and to be left alone in my room where i can sulk and eat as much ice cream as i want for ever and ever.

7 . | <3

:: 2003 7 December :: 7.36pm
:: Mood: guilty

busy day.

work wuz long..... long, long, long.

came home, got ready for the game.

got to the game. had fun, practiced. u know how we do. it wuz cool havin' kailannie n ally there. eye heart u ally lol. we lost the game tho. ouch. boynton won. game over. ally n i waited in her car for my mommy. we thought the car in front of her van wuz my van n opened the door n there wuz this lady sleepin. it wuz funny. very cold last night.

i came home then got ready for bed. jonah n i talked til like 4a.m. n then we went to bed. very open with each other. so loving.

woke up today to tim annoying the shizzles outta me. around... 10 am. they all left for paintball, mommy came home. mommy let brittany n danielle come over. mommy left for work. so brittany danielle n i went to walmart to pick up sum film she needed for her class. we got to my house n she took like 7 rolls of film of just me.... around my house. beautiful stuff. sucha model. umm... i burnt her chingy cd. purty good. hey chingy why ur eyes so chinky? is it b/c u been smokin n drinkin? lol funny. um... but the rest of the day wuz boring. i.... miss.... jonah. i just saw him last monday. but it feels like i havent seen him in months. gosh. i lov him. i really do. open thoughts w/ him, its so easy to tell him anything. my saving grace.

now i have chores to do. a shower to take. and homework that is calling my name. so i am out for the night. peace.

boricuababy

:: 2003 7 December :: 6.22pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: put it on me-ja rule

U DON"T WANT NO ATL!!!!
tha game last nite wuz soo much fun!!!..besides tha fact that it wuz frickin cold as fuck i had fun..lol..we had ta do tha half time show..i wuz up in tha front..it sux wen ur short cuz thatz wha happens..lol..but it wuz koo..me ally and briana got ta chill..we had fun..we lost tha game tho..:(..i think it wuz like 54-40 or sumthin like that..next game is on tuesday..can't wait..:D..we play lake worth and itz home so if ne1 wants ta go...lol..iight guess datz it..byez..x0x0

:: 2003 7 December :: 1.38am
:: Mood: weird

::sighs::
i have sat in my room for the past like two hours..not saying a word and just thinking about my life...

well, without getting into the other stuff...i juss wanna let u guys know that i am soo grateful to have u guys as friends...i am now realizing what i have means so much to me...so i thought u guys should know that. man i know what i wanna say, but dont know how to...its soo frustrating..so i guess that will have to do for now..

xoxo

1 . | <3

:: 2003 6 December :: 11.55pm
:: Mood: energetic

what an eventful night.
last night andrea slept over & we pigged out on our own pizza and had our sex and the city night. theres no other way to spend a friday night besides watching 2 hours of it with her <3. its like, our new found tradition. lol
then she left this mornin.. hung out.. worked a little more on xmas presents.. they are SO cute. then adam wanted to do something tonight and he wanted to play putt putt and joey wanted to a while back so we called up him n kat and we all went over to boomers.. adams mom is so funny. lol. i had all my tickts and stuff from when i was little and kat brought her report card so we had 10 rolls of tokens nad like 8 attraction tickets so we did go carts and putt putt and me and joey went fishing for clubs in the freezing water lol.. and kat didnt know which was the accelerator :-P .. played around inside.. won a shitload of tickets... we saw natalia !! and i saw nikki from church. and we got cool straws .. and thennnn at around 10:45 the high point of the night arrived. we were walking around the back rooms and we passed by the kiddy playground and no one was there so me n joey n kat went in adn were playinga round.. and then adam came in.. and then this guy that worked there was like "excuse me.. do you have tickets?" and we were like.. um no.. there was no one there. and hes like ok please go and sit on the benches.. and he called his little associates on his walkie talkie and joey starts laughing lol, and hes like oh so you think this is funny, go read the sign outside. and joeys reading it and hes like yelling at us how its "shopllifting" and he called over the cop and they made us leave. lol. it was sooo funny. they wouldnt even let us sit on the bench they made us go to the curb and they waited till our rides came. it was great.

my mom just came in. and i was telling her how i saw natalia at boomers and "nikki from youth group" . and shes like, thats not your youth group. im like ummm yeaaah. it is. and shes like no its not. im calling the greek orthodox church and finding you a youth group there. adn i was like ehm i dont wanna go to that one i like this one. shes like thats not your religion. you were born an orthodox and youll die an orthodox. and i was like ummm not if i dont believe in it. and shes like well youre not going to that church anymore. i was like alright fine but you cant get me to believe in orthodox just by doing that. and shes like, THERES ONLY ONE GOD. im like yeah who said there was more than one, and shes like youre not turning baptist, and ehm, hello, this isnt baptist. so she was bitching at me i was like all they do is read from the bible. shes like, not the real bible, its some warped bible you have. and ehm its just different cause its for teens. but it has all the same scriptures. and shes being a real bitch. she cant make me believe what she does. and i told her i dont believe in what they do and i think their customs and saint days are stupid and that shes being stupid about this and she went all off on me and my dad called her in and she kept coming in and telling me im not going to victory anymore, iwa slike yeah i heard you the FIRST time, yet she still felt the need to emphasize it over and over. she can make me stop going to that youth group, but she cant make me stop believing what i do. she makes it seem like theyre trying to brainwash me or soemthing. and that theyre "forcing me" into their beliefs. but doesnt she see thats what she's trying to do?

2 . | <3

Lizzy

:: 2003 6 December :: 2.59pm
:: Mood: refreshed

I shaved my legs...hehe. the things i do for eaglettes. they better <3 my legs, dependin' on what skirt i'm wearing :)

bakesale :(

veggie party is rescheduled for another day....lol rachie.

i love my bryan!

2 . | <3

boricuababy

:: 2003 6 December :: 2.07pm
:: Mood: perky..lol
:: Music: pump it up

I WUV U GUYZ!!!
i had tha bestest time with my bestest friends!!..lol..well letz see..we got to muvico around like 7.30..movie sold out..so spicalicious..lmao..and bozo had ta make literally 1746807868723210 phone calls ta find rides..cuz my mom wuz gonna be home dat late..so thanks ta bozo's mommy we were able ta see honey!!!..so we ended up gettin tix for tha 9.40 show..so yea wid all that time we walked ta boomers...lol..first we walked in this circle back into muvico b4 every1 realized we had ta keep walkin..lol..and den at boomers we played air hockey!!..carlos beat me 7-6..it wuz close..lol..and sam beat me like 7-3..lol..i l;et u win cuz it wuz ur b.day!!!..lol..juss kiddin..sam and amara got a tied game of 5-5..and carlos beat amara 7-3..lol..we had fun..den we saw all deez ppl from loggers'..and jeff and sam (eww)..elana..creepy black kid from skoo.. lol..umm kevin (cutie)..christian..lol..dat wuz great sam..amara saw her friend from middle skoo too..so yea..we had sooooooooooooooooo (with anotha o) much fun..can't wait ta chill agen wid u guyz..:D..juss no more tickle fights in tha car wen i'm squishin sam..k??..lol..luv yaz..x0x0

2 . | <3

:: 2003 6 December :: 11.35am
:: Mood: grateful
:: Music: gangsta girl

heyyy
i love my 3 dorks!!!!! (kaila, amara, n carlos)

last night was eventful:

*went to see Honey at 8 but it was sold out, so me n carlos had to make about a hundred calls tryin to see if we could find rides...FINALLY my mom said yes...so we got the movie for 9:40
*so we had all this freakin time..so we walked to boomers..played air hockey lol...i beat u kaila!!
* ran into a lot of ppl: elana, sam, jeff, kevin, some other ATL ppl, and christian..i tried avoiding him, so when we were leaving, i ran ahead so he wouldnt see me..but noo, he had to turn n we almost bumped into eachother..he killed my 'escape plan' lol
*then when we were walking back to muvico..we had a little fight of who could push someone into the grass lol..yea i got beat by carlos and my toes got al wet n stuff lol, but amara took him down with his white belt self lol
*then we got into the movie..n while we were waiting we juss talked n goofed around..funn lol..."wuv u pee wee".."wuv u pokey"..."wuv u bozo" ( had to be there)
*the movie was good!! i liked it! "carlos dont fall asleep!!"

damnit i know more stuff happened..but i dont how to explain it lol..and other stuff i juss dont remember...lol

thank u guys for takin me out n for havin a good timeeee!!!!!! love u guyssssssssss

<3

6 . | <3

:: 2003 6 December :: 11.18am

i wish i was at bake sale :[
i need a dosage of andrew and his piano.
<3

3 . | <3

:: 2003 5 December :: 10.24pm
:: Mood: thoughtful
:: Music: Have u ever been in love? - Celine Dion

Have u ever asked yourself the question, what makes me me?
For all of u depressed children, i found this article, in the Dec. 2003/Jan 2004 Issue of Cosmo Girl called "Honor Your Spirit" on pg. 145. "instead of seeing yourself from the outside in, take a look from the inside out--and find the key to your happiness." Read it. its very good.

_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_

Dmx504boyz (9:14:15 PM): .........u wish u cud go out with me :-P
LiLsHorTcaKe2315 (9:14:31 PM): i wish soooooo badly
Dmx504boyz (9:15:56 PM): aawwwwww im sry u cant tho cus i go out with this girl named bri thats really pretty and has the perfect body and i really really lov her and think about her 24/7 and i wonna see her every second of everyday so i cud kiss her and cuddle with her..............
Dmx504boyz (9:16:18 PM): .......sry lol
LiLsHorTcaKe2315 (9:16:54 PM): seems like u guys are perfect for each other.... i bet she feels the same way about u
Dmx504boyz (9:17:45 PM): i hope so cus she has a spot in my heart that no1 else has ever reached and im not gonna let her leave that spot
LiLsHorTcaKe2315 (9:18:27 PM): awwww jonah, imma get happy tears
Dmx504boyz (9:18:47 PM): those r good for u dont worry
_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_

that wuz from last night...

also, for the record, i locked myself in the garage last night for about an hour - an hour n a 1/2. it wuz an accident. o well.

school wuz jolly today.
chem- normal. hema n i talked. we hadda sub.

i went to maloney's class n got a new uniform, yippy, everyone in statz thought i wuz skipping.

statz- i wuz shoutin out answers left n right. i totally get this stuff.

econ- squeak squeak. he looks like a crow. lol. CAW CAW lol... mr. epstein told me i couldn't go to the bathroom after i finished filling out the pass.... so, i kinda flicked him off. oops.

art hist- test. alright. the essays were easy lol. hmmm i wonder why? could it be? it could lol hema. fun day after the test. joey, r u gay? lol, n the water bottle.

bus ride home- 3 to a seat. good stuff. camilo is funny. the hick kid... funny crap.

redneck: i'm thinking about all of them together, wut about u? wut r u thinkin about?
jb: nutn, i'm just thinkin about how all 3 of them aren't thinking about u.

lol. wonderful. antonio came over. so i left him in my room alone n i took a shower, i didnt want anything to do with him. then later... santos came over, but he's cool, i dont mind him. o n i cleaned my room. lovely stuff, so fresh so clean clean.

working 2morrow = 9-4pm
game @ Boynton High = 6-9:30pm.

u do the math. when am i gonna be home?

<3 ya.

to everyone out there who isn't feeling up to par: "Growing up stinks and not all kisses are magical and most boys don't live up to your expectations, but there are those times - when everything - I mean love, romance, relationships.... it all falls together perfectly, and its incredible... its those moments, no matter how depressingly few and far between that make growing up worth it and it'll be okay." -- Dawson's Creek.

my advice, 4 those of u who choose to take it: "ignore the world around u, become comfortable in ur own skin, spend time alone, even if it causes u to think. think. don't confuse urself, don't hurt ur heart, and don't draw blood. forget about all the bad things, i know it isn't easy, but for every bad thing going for u right now, replace it with something positive. and think about how u can continue that positive issue. keep positive goals. don't focus on finding a soulmate or nothing, just focus on finding happiness in ur heart. tap ur third eye."

i love u dearly. have a problem, come to me. i will help. i promise.

goodnight.
<3 i lov u jonah

1 . | <3

alwaysfalling

:: 2003 5 December :: 5.27pm
:: Music: Tristan Prettyman - The Kiss

what is there to say?
weather is nice. it knows how i feel. oh and the CD player does too. i go in my room at the end of the day and press play on my cd player and it plays these songs that fit my state perfectly. it's been a tough week. haven't cried as much as i've cried in a while. so confusing what my mind thinks. first emotion is anger then it's can i forgive and it just stays at how did this happen? i don't know.

to my dear friends that will last forever: please never let my children be in the same situation i am. although, i don't think i would let my children be in the situation i am in.

i'm ready to check-out. can i have the guest check please?

woohu is my one and only <3

1 . | <3

spinoangel

:: 2003 4 December :: 11.42pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: tristan - "void"

siiigh.
sigh. irritablility is finding me once again. but tomorrow is friday. right now i need a break from the homework so i decided to return to my woohu journal. home sweet journal. where do i start?

i'm so drained at the moment. like emotionally and mentally. damn study guide. i got home and i found out i was missing like the bulk of my notes for art history so i freaked out. i never found em. ari faxed me hers but i feel like something is missing. oh well, i hope it's okay. i hope i do okay. i heard the test was hard. *crossing fingers* can i just go to bed? no i can't.

yeah today was a weird day. it was just so unusual. weird, having majority of our pib/myp class of 06 in one place. very strange. but comforting at the same time? i felt like i needed to go to 3 diff places at once. i love my pib family. most of the time. i went to the art show. it wasnt exciting, but it was cool being able to chill with people i don't usually get to hang out with. tomas has a niiice guitar. miss blair isnt teaching us anymore. kinda sad. strangely gonna miss her. tomorrow is friday. thank god. i will be .... sigh. whew. i'm gonna take a break from regular atl life and go out with nicole. i will see my much anticipated movie, "honey" no matter what, with or without someone. i'm looking forward to it. this weekend i'm devoting to projects. like... really. i'm getting xmas shopping done. we're decorating our house. i'm doing my long ass poetry project. i'm doing my spanish project. probably writing our script. i have to write the family newsletter.

other people:
i see many people falling into a stressful, depressive state. i think it's just a trend with all high school kids, especially PIBers. we all feel happy together and then we get home and realize we have to do work and then we're just like uuugggggggggghh. and then we start thinking and stressing and freaking out and it's just a big nervous breakdown. i know what that feels like. and some of us are just... some of us have true problems. i hate to see my friends not smiling [on the outside and on the inside] because i feel so helpless. and yeah words of comfort and hugs may help but it never truly makes the hurt stop. we're all in different stressful and annoying situations. doesn't life suck? yeah... dammit.

my feelings about my "situation" [whether you know what it is or not]:

the school - life has become so busy lately and i feel like there's not enough hours in each day to do what i want or do what other people want. so many invites, and dates to keep straight, i think i just might go crazy. i simply asked my parents if i am gonna be free next weekend and they went off into a tangent about how i need to focus and keep my grades up otherwise i won't be able to go anywhere at all ... and all this shit. like they seriously tell me this everyday. like i havent heard it before. just ask danielle, they always mention it. only when danielle is here, they act like they're kidding. when no one is here, they are like threatening and scary. to get a B ... is like shooting myself in the head. i'm wishing so badly for economics to stay an A. and if it doesnt... well i'll be screwed and i'll spend every night crying.

the social life - is anyone as confused as i am? cuz i sure as hell am. why can't people be truthful? and why can't people move on? i like talking to this journal, cuz then i don't feel like i'm being redundant [even if i am] and i'm not annoying anyone with my stupid ass trivial problems. they're not even problems. it's just some little motherfucker trying to play with me, whether he realizes it or not. and i dont think he does. i think he does it subconsciously cuz he DOES care about me, i know he does, but he always reverts back to this state to make me feel like... like he's using me. and maybe he is. but ya know that quote? it's like ... if this is how it feels to be used, then use me up baby. well i'm not exactly that extreme, but sometimes i feel happy being in that state of hopefulness again. even though it may result in tears [like always] ... maybe it's worth it. i'm not sure. i'm not sure of a lot of things. and then there's the other route i could take and maybe find happiness, but i'm not sure whether or not to start on that path, because maybe it'll lead to a dead end. and then i'd be lost. sometimes it's just easier to stay where you are than to try something new with the possibility that you did it for nothing. do you understand what i'm saying? i dont even know if i do. could i be happier? do i want it to be like this? who knows...

there was something else i wanted to say. i have no idea what. too much going on in my mind right now. its a freaking traffic jam.

can i just fly away?
*i am void. let's see you try to fill me. mostly i'm just annoyed with the situation that never fails to find me. i should know better than i did. i should have listened but oh well.*

4 . | <3