my brother jonothon was at my dad's since last nite..so the house has been madd quiet..itz weird but i missed the kid..lol..so today i wuz home alone..i had my music blasted..and no one cudd tell me to turn it down..it wuz great..lol..i watched sum t.v..saw an old movie..it wuz called "interview with a vampire" with brad pitt, tom cruise, and kirsten dunst..it wuz actually not that bad..then i watched my all time favorite movie "above the rim" thats the one with tupac and shawn wayans..i loveeee that movie..it's so new york..lol..brings back alotta memories..then my mommy got home and we went SHOPPING!!!..lol..spent $100 on an outfit..i kno..thatz bad..lol..but it's cute..im debating whether or not to wear it for my bday..but my mom said it's not dressy enuff..grr..neways..it's a jean skirt..a lil on the short side..with this really cute belt..it's one of those skirts with the creases..i guess thats how u can describe it..lol..and the top is a tank top..it's brown..and it has this really cute pattern on it..with sum beige n blue..it's cute..and i got this hat that matches perfectlyyy with it..it's my p.i.m.p hat..lol..its also brown..and i bought these flip flops that go with the outfit too..then i bought my brother a silver bracelet for his bday..it's tight..im sure he'll like it..so tomoro we're headed to the rapids..cant wait!! havent been there since 8th grade n theres alotta new rides..:D

white chicks was a funny ass movieeee!!! i loved it so much..we were there crackin up!! "i wuz checkin for DNA"..lmao..any body who hasn't seen it..GO..u'll like it if ur like me n like stupid-funny movies..the wayans brothers are hilarious..so i got to chill wid meli, eric and amir..we had a good time..eric's plannin a nite when we can go play pool at don carter's when meli gets back from new york..that shudd be fun..last nite i talked to carlos n he told me he's going to 103.5 The Beat Down!!..not fair..lol..i wanna go..he sed kanye's gonna be there..ying yang twins..tony sunshine and the rest of terror squad..it's gonna be in miami..bayfront park..ayy..well i wanted sam n amara to sleep over tonite n hang out..but amara's gotta help nadia wid her party so she cant come..and im pretty sure sam's still at her grandma's..:(..and meli's leavin to new york tonite..nobodyz here..:(...newayz..we're going to the rapids tomoro for jon's bday..and next week we're going camping!!..lol..hmmm..never been camping..i wonder how thatz gonna go..:/..i started painting sum furniture this morning..more sponge painting..lmao..yea i gotta finish tho..well right now i talkin to amir..so i'll update lataz

hey guyz..whaz happenin??..nutten much ova hea..juss chillan..hung out at tha pool today wid my uncle..spent sum time wid him bcuz soon hez leaving back to new york..so i spent tha day gettin my tan on..lol..my face got a lil sunburned..itz all good tho cuz it aint that bad..im stuck here watchin nico..tatie's got me babysittin cuz shez goin out for her bday..her and my mom got into a lil argument..so dat wasnt too good..right now im talkin to my meli..discussing our guy dilemmas..lol..i cant wait to go see white chicks wid her, eric n amir.im sure we'll have a good time..::wink wink::

thinkin bout a certain sumone..;D

hellz yeah!!..i got a raise today!!
so far my summer has been completely about work..itz tiring but it definately pays off..i got a raise today!!..yay!!..itz about time..lol..i been work there for a while already..so im happy..i got all my envelopes and now i gotta stuff em..i cudd use alotta help..any takers??..love ya!!

my mom is mad at me..
my mom just called me from her job and she didnt exactly go off on me but it was that kinda tone momz get when there pissed..so imma have to deal with that later..::sigh::

newayz yesterday i hung out with my dad and my brother..i cudda had more fun if people werent in such a bad mood!! ugh..i hate that when someone is in a bad mood they bring everyone else down with them..so we went and had dinner at fridays..then we went to boomers..i wuz hoping to run into sam and amara but that didnt work out..so i tried to convince my dad to go to muvico..but he said no and was still grumpy..i swear he's bipolar..i gave all my tickets to jonothon and he ended up with lie 10,000 tickets..no lie..so that made his day..lol..he got a whole bunch of crap with his tickets and got me a set of those chinese balls that mr.morone had that a supposed to relax you..we went on the go karts about 6 times..it wuz fun..now im here at home..bored..not doing anything

hey guys..i juss wanted to thank all ya'll for your concern and comforting words..love uuuu!!!

well..im startin to feel better bout things and cheerleading helps me relieve my stress..except of course when coach erin has one of her titi attacks and goes off on everyone..lol..its all good tho..im starting to catch up on everything..i took my chem exam this morning which was a bitch..and then i found coach clark and he was mad that i made him give me my test..so i took the weight training exam too..im taking mrs.douglas' exam tomorrow morning..and then all thatz left is the spanish exam..only i dont think imma take it since mrs. french is now in the hospital getting hip surgery..yea..mr.epstein told me that..i saw alotta teachers today..and they were all alot nicer to me than they ever have been..i guess its cuz most teachers become nicer when they kno u aren't a student any more..neways..i been working alot more recently..i work tomorrow..and for the rest of the week..cheer practice was fun 2day..we had little competitions wid the usher dance..lol..it wuz koo..well guess thats it..more updates laterrrrr...buhbyez..x0x0

wow..this has been a really hectic week..on monday my aunt chavi one of tha twins called me and told me that my other aunt..her sister maria passed away..she died last saturday nite in surgery..so me and my mom took tha first flight out to new york which was on tuesday..we left madd early in tha mornin..when we got there it was really cold..and then we went to my grandma's house in brooklyn and dropped our stuff off and took tha train to east new york for tha wake..wow..it wuz really sad..i wuz really close to my aunt so it really affected me..i got to see my other grandma..ev and chavi my twin aunts..and my dad..my biological dad..that wuz interesting..i dont really wanna get into that tho..so yea den wednesday wuz tha second nite of tha wake..and we went to that..more tears..it wuz even more sad because her baby aj..he's turning two kept going up to the casket trynna wake her up..that broke everyone down..me included..toward the end of the night chavi read the poem henry wrote..imma type it at the end of my entry..and she started to break down a bit..me too..everybody did..u'll see why..thursday was mass..that really got to me too.i cried the most then and then we went to the crematory..so it wuz a really tough week..kuchie (that was her nickname) meant alot to me..we were madd close..she always helped me out with everything..she had the biggest smile..and touched everyone she met..she wuz tha sweetest person and everybody loved her..she wuz really funny and had the best personality..she always wanted me to meet my dad but always respected the fact that i wasn't ready to..she always had my back..we would always chill and hang out during the summer when i would go up to new york..me, her, ev, chavi, luis, and joey would always hang out..i got to see alotta people i haven't seen i like two years but still you kno??..everyone was hurting, grieving and in pain..im glad i got to go tho..it helps alot..iight so here's the poem...

.. A Lost ..
Trying to accept..that you passed away...
Trying to cope..wondering the reason..why??
Im just here wishing..this day would have never come...
You left too soon...
You left too early...
Now your baby is going to be raised without a mommy...
But don't worry...
He has a big loving family to watch him for you...
But you can watch him too...
From where you're at now, sky's above...
Heaven..you're his angel..
Like he was yours
Send him your guidance; send him your love...
As for us...
We will have to understand...
It was your time to go...
But..it doesn't feel right...
Feels so wrong..so cold...
All this hate and anger building up inside...
Don't know what to do..
Just cry, cry, cry...
Miss you...
Keep thinking...
That at anytime you'll be walking through the doors...
What I'll give to just hear your voice...
To say anything...something...HOLLA..Booger Butt..just once more...
To see you smile...to hear you laugh...to hold you in our arms again..
I...just don't believe you're gone...
A daughter, a sister, a mother, an aunt, a love and a friend...
A beautiful person like yourself should have not went...
But they say...
God knows what's best...
God knows what he is doing...
God only takes the good...the best...
Miss you...
Now you're in Heaven, sky's above...
Looking down upon us...
Like a star...shining bright...
Breaking through the clouds...like a ray of light...
You might be gone in physical form...
But you're still here...
Forever alive in our hearts, minds and souls...
We miss you...we love you...
I will not say goodbye...
But I will say...
I'll see you later Booger Butt..
~by: Henry Fabian Gonzalez-May 23, 2004


Rest In Peace: Maria "Kuchie" Flores
October 22, 1970-May 22, 2004

-amara this is our songgggggg!!!!!!!!!
grrr..exams start tomoro..not good..i have my chem exam tomoro..i shudd be studying..but no i rather sit here and talk to my sammi, my meli, and my amycita!! PROCRASTINATING IS ALWAYS FUN!!..lol..well guyz amyz re-named me..so my new name according to amy is kailottery..lmao..yupp yupp..thanx gurl..lol

meli: im glad ur eye stopped twitching!!..lol..and i hope ur throat feels betterrrrr

MASE IS MAKIN A COMEBACK..HOLLAAA!!!!
ahh..i remember in like 4th grade i wuz obssessed wid mase..no lie..lol..no he turned preacher..i wonder if he still looks tha same..

so yea..dis weekend wuz pretty good..saturday: woke up madd early..cheer clinic..dat wuz alotta fun..got to hang out wid briana, ashley, bailey, maryellen, courtney..and all my otha cheer buddies..lol..we learned alotta new things..basic stunting..which we got down pack..uh huh..go us..lol..i cant wait till sleep away camp!!! itz gonna be so much fun..imma miss u tho briana!!..:(..have fun at ur other onez tho

sam..u gotta tell me how tha rap goes!!!..lol
"im sittin in ma room..thinkin why oh why oh why..we gotta say goodbye..goodbye"..lol

today no skoo..hollllerrrrrrr..lol..wha i do??..i woke up late..watched hip hops toughest rhymes on mtv2..lol..good stuff..went to meliz house..hung out there for awhile..looked at yearbooks..did u kno that spanish river yearbooks come with a DVD yearbook too?!?!?!?!?!? how frickin tight is dat??..wow our skoo is cheap and ghetto..lol..so we watched tha dvd and made fun of alotta ppl..cracked up bout omar..i saw hema in tha video..and danny runnin tha track..kept rewinding it..lolol..ayy..dat wuz funny..den we signed each others yearbooks and juss talked after dat and watched videos..it wuz fun..we kept juss crackin up..wha i do yesterday??..me and sammi walked to...ahhh!!!..shit i juss burned my pizza!!..and tha kitchen is filled with smoke!!

LiLMiZzBLoNdiE26 [5:57 PM]: burnt it? is it frozen?
LiLMiZzBLoNdiE26 [5:57 PM]: OMG kaila
LiLMiZzBLoNdiE26 [5:57 PM]: stop drop roll
NuYoRiCaN019 [5:58 PM]: lmao
NuYoRiCaN019 [5:58 PM]: hahaha
NuYoRiCaN019 [5:58 PM]: wow..ooopz
NuYoRiCaN019 [5:58 PM]: no dinner for me now
LiLMiZzBLoNdiE26 [5:58 PM]: aww
LiLMiZzBLoNdiE26 [5:58 PM]: i'll bring u food

lol..wow..adrenaline rush..i saved my house!!..newayz..back to wha i wuz sayin..me and sammi walked to veteran's yesterday nite..met up wid carlos, sunil, myeong, and den amara came!!..we had fun..there wuz this lady sittin on tha bench next to us cheering her kids on saying "ra ra sis boom ba!!"..lmao..wow..i needed to show her sum real skillz..we watched tha guyz play bball..and ppl kept getting hurt..and sam n carlos were crackin on me cuz i wanted to call a paramedic for tha guy who hurt his ankle..lol..O-M-G LINE DOT!!..lol..amara..at veteran's i saw tha same guy who wuz stalkin me at paladium that one nite i went wid meli..wha are tha coincidences of that??..wow..scurriness..sam thot it wuz pretty funny..after dat we went back to my house n juss hung out..den everybody went home..:(.wha am i doing now???..talkin to amara and eating burnt pizza..actually not dat bad..lol

X3QTpiEx3 [6:09 PM]: ::burp::
NuYoRiCaN019 [6:09 PM]: wuz it a good burp??
NuYoRiCaN019 [6:09 PM]: or a weak one?
X3QTpiEx3 [6:09 PM]: man...it was weak..
X3QTpiEx3 [6:09 PM]: it was pathetic
NuYoRiCaN019 [6:10 PM]: lol
NuYoRiCaN019 [6:10 PM]: u needa step up ur game gurl!!
X3QTpiEx3 [6:10 PM]: i kno :-(
X3QTpiEx3 [6:10 PM]: >:o ::BURP!!!::
X3QTpiEx3 [6:10 PM]: dat was better
NuYoRiCaN019 [6:10 PM]: good job!!!!!
X3QTpiEx3 [6:10 PM]: lol

interesting convo huh??..lol..datz us chicas!!..we crazzzzzyyyyyy..i mite chill wid my semi bebi tonite..if we can pull rides..talk ta u guyz laterrrrr..x0x0

wooooooooooo...im feelin madd hyper..i dunno why tho..lol..today wuz a good day..and imma have a good weekend..lol..psshh..studying for examz and all..x0x0

im about to break, i can't stop this ache..im addicted to your allure, and im fiendin' for a cure..every step i take leads to a mistake..i keep goin' right back to the one thing i need..im about to break and i can't stop this ache..getting nothing in return..what did i do to deserve the pain of this slow burn and everywhere i turn i keep goin' back to the one thing that i need to walk away from..now what to do, my heart has been bruised, so sad but it's true each beat reminds me of you..it hurts my soul 'cause i can't let go, all these walls are cavin' in..i can't stop my sufferin'..i hate to show that i lost control..casue i keepi keep goin' right back to the one thing i need..im about to break, and i can't stop this ache..im addicted to your allure and im fiendin' for a cure..every step i take leads to a mistake, i keep going right back to the one thing i need..i can't mend, tihs torn stateim in..getting nothing in return what did i do to deserve the pain of this slow burn and everywhere i turn i keep going right back to the one thing i need to walk away from...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hey peoples..if u were wondering..im feeling alot better now..i spent the weekend with my dad..which wuz iight..nutten major..we went to tha beach yesterday..it wuz an all day thing..everybody got sunburned..which sucked..poor tatie and tal..they got surburnt soo bad..i feel bad for them..tal wuz hysterically crying cuz she wuz burnt so bad..poor kid..they cant even walk..man, i wish i could of gone to amanda's party..i wanna kno how it went n who ended up going..sumbody tell me..lol..now im juss chillan at home..i tried to type up those notes for economics that are for extra credit..yea..lol..didnt work..well i hope everyone had a good weekend!!..wuv u guyz!!!..x0x0..ya gurl

this sucks..
i havent really eaten all day..i have no clue what's making me soo sick..i threw up twice since i got home..blahhhh..this is gonna be a sucky weekend i can tell already..:(