so i actually feel like i can be a nurse. i'm liking my classes better and understanding stuff. because the program is so new and my school is so small, i have my classes with basically all the same 30 people because that is how many people got accepted into the program. i'm realkzing that i am just as smart as these people and they are struggling in areas just like i was/am. so yay.
we dont get to disect cadavers. we only get to disect cats but oh well. i guess we can learn more because we can disect them more where as with cadavers-because so many people have to use them and they have to last a whole year, you can only do a little.
i can't type well beause i have fake nails on. i haven't got my naisl done in like 2 years but i really wanted to last week so i got acrylilics on. just a frech manicure. not like i sued to get.
roman and i are doing so well. when we first moved in together we had this period of like 2 months where we fought really bad like we'd be fine and then fight fine and then fight but we have really gotten over that ---well i mean, obviously since that was a long time ago but my point is ...we hve just grown from it all and i'm really happy.
we are probably going to florida to visit his gramma and have soem fun for our spring breaks. the bad part is that are spring breaks aren't at the same time and so i might not be able to ugugghghgh but that would really suck because my birthday is during his spring breeak so if he went and i didn't i'd be all alone on my bday.
i can't believe i'm gonna be 20 ..that seems so old! weird.
roman and i were talking about the wedding which was supposed to be in may 2009 but the more we talked about it. the more we thought it would be a smart idea to just wait until we were done with college completely.
Today Roman and I were driving with Cesar in the backseat on 44th street and we were going east right past the mall and this moron in a black truck pulls out from the mall all the way on the right and we were in the middle lane and he crosses all 4 lanes to get over to the left to go in the MI turn around thing.
it was wet out and he started losing control and fish tailing a little and then goes up on the median where a big green road sign with two poles is and he smashes into it right square in the middle and the sign breaks and flies over his truck
AND HE JUST KEPT ON DRIVING!! and pulled into the turn around to go west bound. It was so insane!!! our radio was off so we could hear everything. it was like a movie it was so unreal. i couldn't believe he just kept driving like it was no big deal at all. he is lucky that the sign didn't fly into the road and hurt someone else. he was going way too fast and almost hit us when he was crossing all those lanes. roman honked the horn and then he smashed the sign. it was crazy.
and then we got his plate # and called the police and reported it. hahaa fucker.
A- in spanish ...yay even tho she is a fricken crazy lady and crushed my dream of becoming fluent in spanish because she is the only one who teaches it so i dropped spanish 2
B in Cellular Biology which is a class that we were all guinea pigs in because it was the first time it was taught at Davenport and the book was RIDICULOUS and it was a very tough class that I considered dropping because it was so hard. So i'm very pleased with a B
Haven't got the last two back yet but I should be getting a B+ in Intercultural Communication and an A- in Healthy Living.
yay
i'm so glad i'm done with school for a while. and my school is sooooooooo retarded. We just ended classes THIS week ... my online classes aren't even officially done until TOMORROW. and yet still we start class again on January 6th. Everyone else has like a month of break and we get like 2 wks. thats so dumb! grr i hate davenport.
anyway..... my baby makes the best cookies ever omg. the other night i just sat on my ass and watched the movie hairspray while Roman just said he wanted to make chocolate chip cookies. I had to show him where the recipe and measuring cups were and what the difference btwn a tablespoon and teaspoon are but then he was all on his own and he did everything by himself lol and made the best cookies ever. and they looked picture perfect they were like perfectly round and perfectly brown on top and just perfect. they were so delicious. yummm the best part is that i didn't have to make them.
anyway i am excited for christmas but sad that roman will be leaving for like 4 ish days so that will suck but i dont have to work until NEXT FRIDAY....eek.. it's kind of not good but work has not been giving me any hours at all. i should start getting more as soon as the first rolls around but for now I nanny 3 days of the week so that will hold me over. I nanny for a little boy named Cesar and he is adorable and fun. so i really like it. it is a great job for me because i get to be around kid(s) again which i missed a lot since i left the daycare and the best part is that it gives me a break from being at work at midnite sun and cruise all the time. its nice to have two jobs and separate the time between the two. and i only watch him for 2 hours (not even a full 2 hours) on monday and wednesday and then from 9-5 on saturday. it's not bad at all.
so yay.
roman got me some cool christmas presents. these pjs that i love. we were supposed to wait until sunday for our christmas but we couldn't wait and yesterday we opened our gifts. he relaly liked his too. so yay
OK . so .. i think i just figured it out. As long as I get at least a 50% my next test and a 75% on my paper and a 60 on my final... ummm wow that's horrible. well then i think i will pass.
SHIT i suck. that class just kicked my ass so bad but i swear it was so stupid. seriously. we were the guinea pigs for that class. the teacher was brand new. the book was WAY too advanced. the teacher said they are definitly getting a different book for next semester and that the book is way too advanced it is for people who are actually going to be cell biologists and it is just way too hard and our entire grade was based on only the tests. i hate that because it's like you get 5 little chances and if you do bad at all on any of the tests it brings your grade wayyyyy down. the only thing i'm hoping helped my grade was my paper and i'm not even too sure about that. i just know i need to study hard for my exam because it is all answers from past tests. seriously i'm going to memorize those answers and get 100 percent. i'm going to my moms house and studying the entire day as long as she will help me. ALL next week that is what i'm doing . mark my words lol
i wanna go see that guys light show that he made. someone take me. and while you're at it...
oh nevermind... maybe it's at the whitecaps thing i thought it was at his house.
while you're at it take me to japan.
everytime i start thinking that i shouldn'tbe a nurse and that it isn't for me i talk to my mom and she makes me feel like i'll be good at it or that i can at least pass the school. i'm not stupid but i'm not brilliant. i duno. she always makes me not want to quit. i feel like i would disappoint my parents if i quit and it's not like i have something else wonderful in mind and my college is free so i might as well keep going... right?
i had to write this will thing for my online class and I gave my money and our cats to Roman and my car to Brandon and that was pretty much it... hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
tomorrow i have my last test and then next week i have two exams and then two online class exams that should be pretty easy. Only one really hard exam. I just hope i pass cell biology or I will be screwed and sad. ughghhghghgh i hope i get 100 on the paper i wrote. then i wont be as worried
i just called my phone company because i wanted to add text messaging and they wont let me because roman's name is the one on the account the FCC just changed their rules that sucks because usually i am the one who takes care of all that stuff. I call and fix stuff when it gets messed up, i pay the bills through my account and then roman just writes me checks for his half. like i do EVERYTHING and then now i can't even have control over it. it is understandable but still it sucks.
i really should be studying.
annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd. i duno. we almost got another cat tonight. we are like...obsessed with cats. we are freaks.
oh and I keep getting these headaches again. I used to get these ... the last time i was getting them was in august-ish when i worked at the daycare but...
it starts out that my left eye-it's like i can't see... it's that thing you get when you look at the sun or a camera flashes in your eyes- you know, the little dot things. and so that happens but like over my entire left eye so basically i can't see and then about a half hour or so later i get an incredibly bad migraine where i feel like i'm going to die/throw up.
yeah so that's fun. except not. and then in the morning i wake up and my head honestly still hurts but it's just a dull headache
so i'm pretty sure i have a tumor of some sort.
and i have a lot of woohu reading to do but more importantly i have homework and i might be getting a part time nannying thing and also i dont know if i want to be a nurse so yeah.
sometimes i just wonder what would happen if i just dropped out of school. i hate it so much it makes me so frustrated. there really is nothing i enjoy about it. nothing i get out of it. i've learned a few things ..... the only class i really liked and i didn't even like it that much i just found it relatively interesting was medical terminology.
it is stupid. fuck. i should just drop out and i'm not getting anywhere anyway. fuck fuck fuck. i wish i could just move to florida with my parents.
except i bought a new camera. i know i know why why why but i can't stand not havin a camera. and this one is really cool i hope it's really as awesome as i think it is.
it has a million settings and stuff.
now if only my man would come home...where is he? work.......
stupid work and stuff. stupid stupid. what an awful day.
i thought wer were gonna see a movie today but ... doubt it.
Tonight roman and i went out to east beltline- got coffee at beaners and then went into pet supplies plus and saw these bunnies and the woman let me hold one and then let roman hold the other and they were these dwarf bunnies and we want one really bad. i know that's bad- our apt is going to be all gross with pets but not really but we want one becaue they were so adorable and the woman said that they can be litter box trained and stuff and that they are good pets and you can let them out and hop around and stuff.
so yeah i duno. we might get a bunny i think.
and then we looked at halloween costumes . but we need to find something fun to do on halloween before we go and buy the costumes becaues they are expensive.
but if we do go somewhere we want to look all cute and costumey.
annnd then we went to the IMAX and saw transformers. i had never been there before so it was pretty neat. it was making me a little nauseous though because it is so big and stuff.
and other than that, i want to quit school because seriously i am doing really horrible and i studied hard and thought i did quite well on that last test and i did awful. i'm so pissed. at myself, at the class, at davenport, at the test. they are horrible tests. they are hard and confusing and stupid.
ugh
but seriously i don't want to be a fricken failure. i want to have a career. i dont want to just be a little housewife with kids. i mean, seriously- i dont care if it sounds pathetic to some people but that is my number one thing i look forward to - i look foward to having a family and raising our kids and being the perfect mother and wife. that is number one on my list and always will be but i reallly feel like i won't feel like i accomplished as much as i could have. i'll feel like i failed or like i didn't reach my potential. like... i have to have a CAREER too. at some point. you know? my mom regrets it so much and i don't want to have that same regret.
I hate school so much though. and i honestly really really don't have any idea what i would be good at.
but i'm shadowing this guy's that my dad knows daughter. ( i know i wrote that all wrong i dont care right now) and she is a nurse so i guess i'll find out then if i could handle it or not. which i know i probably can't. ughghghghgh hwhatever.
and anyway i like midnite sun and cruise and getting tan and sexy now if only i could get myself to start fricken working out . seriously. i need to get serious about that. i really really do. i just feel like a moron in front of all those muscley guys. eww and i don't want to run on the tredmills and fall on my face like on a tv show. i'd be so embarassed. and it would hurt. i can't run on those treadmills. i'm not coordinated enough to do that and listen to my earphones and sing MY hUMPS in my head and watch the tvs with no sound and worry about what people are thinking of me and check my heart rate all at the same time.
HOW DO YOU PEOPLE DO IT. HOW DO YOU RUN ON TREADMILLS.
and that m y friend is the question of the day. how DO you people run on treadmills.