Its kind of like when the Soviet Union collasped, people weren't really willing to talk about wounds that were still fresh, and when they were ready to talk and needed to, no one wanted to listen.
Its kind of that way with me, people want to know, but not really care, just know.

I've been through enough, its tiring, and it wears me down. I'm getting tired. I never thought at the age of 20 you could be so tired. You put your body through enough and it catches up to you. Your mind goes through enough and you can't forget. I stopped drinking and started thinking. So I've taken away what crutches I had in life under my control and I'm standing on what is left of my legs. I'm going to stumble, I'm going to fall, I'm going to make the biggest, most god-awful fucking mess of things, but I'm going to walk again.


When I made up my mind
And my heart along with that
To live not for myself
But yet for God, somebody said
"Do you know what you are getting yourself into?"

When I finally ironed out
All of my priorities
And asked God to remove the doubt
That makes me so unsure of these
Things I ask myself, I ask myself
"Do you know what you are getting yourself into?"

I'm actually sore from running, but it kinda feels good. I'm mostly sore from the push ups I did. Two sets of 40, kinda hurts.

Figured I needed to update this. I'm now in my second semester at Oakland. I kinda like it here, so I'll finish out here. I'm pretty used to not knowing anyone, ha, I see new people everyday. But I do see Pat more often that not, so it makes life easier to see someone I've known for 6+ years.
I started running again. I'm not sore today from yesterday's 25 minute run in the cold, just a little bit of tightness in my right shin. I'm still debating going out for a quick one today, but its supposed to be like -20 out with the windchill, so I may just wait til Monday.
I've pretty much going through my entire routine twice a day now, more depending on if I run that day.
If I run I only do the routine at night. If I don't run, I do it in the morning and then again at night.
Its mostly several sets of crunches, sit-ups, push ups, up downs, and other various stuff. I do about 150 crunches, then 25 push ups, straight to about 90 seconds of up downs and then other random things over again without break, its tiring, but I think it'll pay off. For strength work every couple days I either chop wood in the cold or go into the basement and pick up and move around the boxes of tile or bags of grout. That's how I got into shape at work, and its more dynamic than working out in a weightroom.
Also, my Irish is now getting better. Its getting close to pass the little spanish I know. I've been watching Aifric a lot, haha, it sounds weird. I'm 20 and I'm watching a tv show for teens, but its at a level I can somewhat understand.
Here's a couple Irish sayings or toasts I came across that I like:

Here's to women's kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman's kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!


"Faol saol agat, gob fliuch, agus bás in Éirinn."
Long life to you, a wet mouth, and death in Ireland.


There are only three kinds of Irish men who can't understand women— young men, old men, and men of middle age.

It's raining.
Awesome.

Friday's kinda suck, I usually have nothing to do because all my friends either work or have girlfriends. Friday nights are my night off, and I don't have a girlfriend, so I usually end up watching tv or playing video games. Sometimes it feels a bit depressing. But oh well.

Tomorrow I pretty much have the house to myself, and I have to figure out what I'm going to do with myself with all that time. I'll probably watch football. GO IRISH!!!