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How Strange, Innocence

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:: 2005 14 April :: 6.58 am

The Presidential Suite
You've been led on
Yes, you were wrong
The whole time

You've been led on
Completely wrong
The whole time

They pave the way for every second of the day
It is no myth; no it's the Bible of the God
That they erected on the ashes of your neighborhood
He's looming like, like the god of blunder
Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
You sing to sing his praise because you're lazy
And you've been taught too much to learn.
Another pawn, a pink flamingo on the lawn
On the capitol of shame
With you buried head and only you to blame


You've been led on
Yes, you were wrong
The whole time

You've been led on
Completely wrong
The whole time


The rodeo begins. They take us for a ride, and we are flailing
But as hard as we may buck, the king of fools is still in place and fit to rule.
You fucking praise him. Yes, you fellate him with your trust
Your parents' parents made this happen, yeah eat your words and fold your napkins
Another pawn, a pink flamingo on the lawn, and that's all you'll ever be.
And if you thought that you were free, well...


You've been led on
Yes, you were wrong
The whole time

You've been led on
Completely wrong
The whole time

first breath after coma


:: 2005 11 April :: 9.51 pm
:: Music: say anything - showdown at p-town

so today i went to the doctor's because my knee is killing me and is bigger than it should be. take your average grapefruit, and add some. that's how big my knee is. icing it helps some. so the doctor stretched out my leg, told me to ice it and keep the mileage on it low for a week or two (so no more 10 mile days, thank god). he asked my the last time i wasn't in any type of physical pain, i'll write out the conversation.

"when was the last time you were free of any physical pain eric?"
"november-ish of sophomore year."
"really? why so?"
"i got kidney stones around that time, broke my foot, broke my hand and screwed up my knee in a few month span."
"wow"
"yeah, then i did the whole hip-flexor catch-all of the inner thigh thing which you treated me for, now i'm here with the knee."
"how much pain reliever do you take?"
"8 advil a week, sometimes 4 a day, never more than 12 a week, it all depends on how the pain is, i mostly take them to sleep. the pain doesn't help much with the insomnia."
"you're one tough little man"
"ha, not really."


sad. i need a new body. school sucks. ray got hit in the head with a shot put, so he's not in school. i almost had to beat a kid with a crowbar because people said he hit my car. ask me about that story.

I Got A Crowbar And Ten Friends That Say You Ain't Gonna Do Jack.

3 breaths | first breath after coma


:: 2005 10 April :: 12.00 am

Frail
Kiss the sun
In your eyes
Love unveiled
I can't deny
Be not warned
Watch it fall
Mesmerize...

Close your eyes and begin to breath
Something is coming over me
Lost to find, and a soul to keep
cause you love me...

Give this one
On bended knee
Price to pay
Please wait for me
A trial by fire
A setting Sun
A love I've won...

Close your eyes and begin to breath
Something is coming over me
Lost to find, and a soul to keep
Cause you love me...

Inside, I wait
Inside, I wait

Kiss the sun
In your eyes
Love unveiled
I can't deny
be not warned
Watch it fall
Mesmerize...

Close your eyes and begin to breath
Something is coming over me
Lost to find, and a soul to keep
Cause you love me...

Inside, I wait
Inside, I wait

Close your eyes and begin to breath
Something is coming over me
Lost to find, and a soul to keep
Cause you love me
you love me
you love me
you love me...






i need something like that in my life.

2 breaths | first breath after coma


:: 2005 5 April :: 7.41 am
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: usryp synapse - going down with both guns blazin'

getting ready to leave for school. didn't do any homework last night, got home from practice, ate dinner and went to baker's house. looked up shit about cedar point and camping. walked home. watched tv and went to sleep. i've got to go so i can maybe get a decent parking spot.

1 breath | first breath after coma


:: 2005 3 April :: 8.48 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: saves the day - when it isn't like it should be...

so i'm back from florida. burned or tanned, which ever you prefer. sore as fuck from running, don't feel like ever running again. it was hot, i felt like dying. legs could fall off. i have holes in the top of my feet, i look like i got crucified. blisters all over my toes. parks kinda sucked, but doing shit with mike, tom, don, john, paul, and matt was fun as fuck. staying up late most nights, getting yelled at by crazy people from pennsylvania. trying to get girls into tom's room every night, but still not getting any (well they did, i was asleep in my room with mike) i wanted to kill smith, i think i pissed him off when the girls called and i told him "don't worry about it" when he asked who was calling. rides were fun with them. got tied up with tape and stripped down to my boxers and left outside, getting upstairs is hard. thought my dick was going to pop out of my boxers, and girls were laughing at me trying to hop around. ran into shit. we broke a door handle trying to lock don in the bathroom. met girls from kentucky, "i run the hurdles" was the fucking hottest thing i ever heard. saw baker's penis, cried with mike when that happened. thought i was going to be raped when i was tied up. i'll write more later.

1 breath | first breath after coma


:: 2005 28 March :: 8.51 pm

three miles down
Oh great
here I go again I'm stuck in this rut
and I'm not sure how to begin- should I tell you everything?
I'm feeling out of luck so I won't see you soon
'cause I know it's too soon for you to see me-
if this is the last thing you do just tell me that it's o.k.
for me to have these feelings for you
and that it's normal to want to call you.
Oh I'm dialing the phone and I'm letting it ring for hours
and I'm pretending to hear your voice-
Why does my heart always beat before yours does?
After a while you can make yourself believe in almost anything,
so I'm making myself believe in you.

first breath after coma

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