so tired today. came home when i got done with class at 1:45. went to sleep. went back to school for a bit to do some stuff. working on some photo stuff. lith prints and such. getting kicked out of the house in the morning because my mom is having people over. so i'll end up driving around for a bit. so being bored a lot gave me time to think about stuff. i'm really nothing special at all. there are so many people who are just amazing, with the stuff they can do and such. i'm just average and below average in pretty much anything. i'm not really good at anything, i just get by with everything. when i say i'm not good at something, i'm not lying. with girls it seems like they want that awesome guy who is tall and muscular and such. they don't want the little 5'4", 135 lbs guy who can play a little on the guitar, or piano. they want the guy who looks like the cliche and acts that way too. they want the football, basketball, soccer, lacrosse or baseball player. not the cross-country and track runner with mediocre times. they want the guy who can fake the artist thing and take okay pictures. not the guy who got stuck with all the problems an artist has but isn't anything special in photo. they want the guy who has the nice car and everything to go with it. not the guy who borrows his mom's car for a few hours, pays for their own gas, runs errands for their parents and then spends maybe a half hour getting what they wanted to get in the first place but had to do the other stuff for the parents so they could. they want the guy who is funny. not the guy who is sarcastic and has a dry sense of humor. they seem to want the asshole, not the guy who wants to help people but doesn't really want people to know because they don't want the attention. they want the guy who can act sensitive when needed, not the guy who is sensitive and gets walked all over for it. they want the guy who can mumble a few lines and play 3 chords on the guitar to try and win their heart, not the guy who will try and write a few lines with coherent lyrics, a decent guitar progression and will practice until they can sing it to try and tell you how they feel but still won't because they are scared of how you will react.

i'm in an odd mood tonight. you probably noticed i'm everything they don't want. i'm going to try and sleep.

tired from running and working out. working on new stuff for photo. should be interesting. watching stuff about snipers, my brother says i should go into the military to be one because i'm already pretty good at stalking, hiding, shooting, evading and such. i do it for fun.

i am jacks sn 26: fuck, you make every good thing baddddd
i am jacks sn 26: i need a new keyboard
corey: thats what im here for
i am jacks sn 26: you going to get me a new keyboard too?
corey: no im here to make every good thing bad


i figured i'd start out with something amusing. did nothing all weekend, usual weekend. bought the northstar cd. figured out i need to leave my house and actually meet people, or at least attempt to. i'm going to sleep.



"you can't make someone love you with a song."