::
2005 14 January :: 11.56 pm
To my mistress the bridge, I don't feel well.
I'll be leaving and you can't stop me.
We've been carrying on too long.
I'm sorry, but I'm gone. I've got a bad reputation to think about.
I've been dirty, I've been wrong.
Maybe someday they'll find that I've washed up.
I'm stepping out to clear my lungs.
I'm breathing in to fill my lungs. We're all dead.
Farewell scenic highway overpass.
It's better this way anyways.
My lover the river makes a better soldier than a bride.
But I left my heart at the side of her bed
and she's got the warmest body that I've never had.
Drag the lake, you'll find it's full of love.
Bring the children to the water and let them see what heartache did.
This matrimony needs a witness, and you can teach them to swim.
Don't let your dreamers grow up to be dead men.
Drown us at birth, save her some time.
Drifting on romantic holiday, breathless as her cold arms cover me.
Drag the lake. You will find it is full of love.
-Sincerely mine. Finally.
1 breath |
first breath after coma |
::
2005 14 January :: 6.17 pm
banned from the back porch
I stepped out into the night and put my feet down on the wet patio floor
The sky's air had been cooling and steam rose from everywhere
I could feel drops of rain slipping off tree's leaves and splattering to the ground
It's always misty after a summer pour
And I'll remember turning around and looking out
And staring in and focusing on this one beautiful girl
And I said, "Oh who is this?
Where was she all those crazy years?
Where was she when my heart couldn't take its beat?"
I sipped down some warm ginger ale
And drew back a breath
And headed over to see about this girl
I couldn't say a thing and I just stared open and wide
And I connected with her eyes to feel my gut fall through the floor
Oh my god, I think I'm falling.
first breath after coma |
::
2005 12 January :: 6.59 am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: elliott smith - waltz #2
you're probably wondering "what's with all the lyrics all of a sudden?"
well, since i'm not very good at writing or showing emotions, i use lyrics to tell how i'm feeling. some are how i feel, some how others may feel toward me. which ones? thats for you to figure out. some could be all one, or not. i rant too much. i didn't talk to ashley yesterday, *insert really sad face here along with sad music in the background* so i ended up studying for my exams. i then spent most of my night in my room playing my acoustic guitar. my mom thinks i'm going back to my old ways of spending all my time in my room. hope not.
first breath after coma |
::
2005 12 January :: 6.42 am
your hand on his arm
the hay stack charm around your neck
strung out and thin
calling some friend trying to cash some check
he's acting dumb
that's what you've come to expect
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
he's wearing your clothes
head down to toes a reaction to you
you say you know what he did
but you idiot kid
you don't have a clue
sometimes they just get caught in the eye
you're pulling him through
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
now on the bus
nearly touching this dirty retreat
falling out 6th and powell a dead sweat in my teeth
gonna walk walk walk
four more blocks plus the one in my brain
down downstairs to the man
he's gonna make it all ok
i can't beat myself
i can't beat myself
and i don't want to talk
i'm taking the cure so i can be quiet
whenever i want
so leave me alone
you ought to be proud that i'm getting good marks
needle in the hay
first breath after coma |
::
2005 11 January :: 9.16 pm
I want to know your plans and how involved in them I am.
When you leave for good this fall, will I be forgotten?
And if you want roses I'd buy a bouquet.
If that just won't cut it, well what can I say.
You're what keeps me believing the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones put the words in my head.
When they pour out to paper.
It's all for you.
Cause that's what you do.
Thats what you do.
I want to know your fears and if you'll forget me next year.
When they raise the landing gear will your heart stay here.
If you could forgive me for being so brash, well you, you could hit me or whip me.
Oh oh I'd savour each lash.
You're what keeps me believing the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones put the words in my head.
When they pour out to paper.
It's all for you.
Cause that's what you do.
No more fighting.
It is only a waste of our time, ohh cause soon you'll be leaving.
Will this strength still be mine?
I'll look out for you til i die.
Til I rot.
Ohh I'll remember you til i die.
Til I rot.
You're what keeps me believing the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones put the words in my head.
When they pour out to paper.
It's all for you.
You're what keeps me believing the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones put the words in my head.
When they pour out to paper.
It's all for you.
Cause that's what you do.
first breath after coma |
::
2005 11 January :: 5.50 pm
And they don't see
That my smile is stiched
And it's peeling off
Inch by inch
And when it goes
My whole disguise
Will slither off
Before your eyes
And I'll stand nude
My eyes roll out
Reveal my skull
A cave of doubt
My surgery's done
Your gaze the knife
I need you here to save my life
So please stay in tonight
Pull the soul from my eyes and say goodnight
Just stay at home, strip me down to the bone
I can't be alone
And they don't see the nagging stress
That beats and beats inside my chest
And kiss my heart
To keep it safe
Where no one else can make it break
And all the schools they sent me to
The upper class ants march two by two
A 4.0 for each brain whore
Well I won't fuck with them anymore
So please stay in tonight
Pull the soul from my eyes and say goodnight
Just stay at home, strip me down to the bone
I can't be alone
And the days go by
I still believe
There is someone who
Can comfort me
And the days go by
I still believe there's a world some place for me
So please stay in tonight
Pull the soul from my eyes and say goodnight
Just stay at home, strip me down to the bone
I can't be alone
first breath after coma |
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