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How Strange, Innocence

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:: 2004 17 April :: 6.06 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: michelle branch - everywhere (acoustic)

pat and i went and saw the punisher last night. it was good. then i went and slept over at pat's house. we stayed up the whole night, now today i am like dead tired.


so i'm taking this quiz and one of the questions made me think. the question and possible answers were:


Your perfect guy/girl would most likely be:
1. Someone who accepts you
2. Someone who agrees with you
3. Someone who thinks outside the box
4. Someone who likes the same stuff you do. Involved with the same stuff you are
5. Someone with the same aspirations and dreams as you. High ambition!
6. Someone who respects you


so i picked numbers 1, 4 and 6 although number 4 is not as important as the others.
then i started thinking of what i look for in a girl and it brought me to a conversation jack and i had a while back.

thescreamoamigo: ok, i want a hot, emo girl around my height
thescreamoamigo: and a messanger bag
thescreamoamigo: and listens to most of the music i listen to
thescreamoamigo: its that too much to ask for?
InotGuitarded: yes
InotGuitarded: thats like u
InotGuitarded: but female
thescreamoamigo: lol


thats partly what i would like.


one thing i have found out is that people don't really know that much about me, and that kinda bothers me, so people, ask me questions, it kills boredom anyway.



i don't know what you would call this, but i came up with it back in january. i think it sucks but oh well, you be the judge.






beach, sand, water, air, salt, wind, blowing, sunset, warmth, holding, comfort, feeling, blue, orange, red, greys, spraying, clear, stars, moon, holding, "love", "forever", stencil, wash over, dreams, cold, alone, forgotten, insomnia, alone ,black, grey, cold, wet, washed over, beaten down.

first breath after coma


:: 2004 15 April :: 11.19 pm

andy is...:awesome
you're...:a waste
i like monkies:ok?
band is...:good
can sex wait:sure
most horrible word...:?
'love' is used too often:yes
speaking in rhyme is...:annoying
woohu is...:yay!
football is...:fun
is cheerleading a sport?:no
blondes are...:blonde
midgets are...:short
you hate...:people in general
bananas are...:yellow
sunsets are...:my favorite
tattoos...:pointless
school is...:fucking horrible
my favorite thing is...:music
music...:favorite thing
favorite feature in the opposite sex is...:eyes
instant messaging is...:good
favorite flower is...:roses?
pictures are...:my line of work
milk is...:good
this survey...:fun
shoes...:size 8 1/2
favorite season is...:fall
re-makes of old movies are...:good once in a while

random randomocity of life brought to you by BZOINK!





Which person comes to mind
best-friend:jack or corey
enemy:too many people
love interest:none
person you talk to when you're down:keri, katy, lindsay
person you try to avoid:people in general
person you haven't spoken to in a long time:matt
person that makes you made:made? do you me mean mad? a lot of people
someone you think is stupid:kendall....lmao nick
a celebrity you wish u could meet:john cusack
person that cheers u up:keri, katy, lindsay, coby
person who hates u:try people that don't hate me
teacher that pisses u off:herta, constantyne
person that pisses u off the most:see above
person u wish u could spend more time with:a few people

People brought to you by BZOINK!




::15 Random Favorites::
1:music
2:sunsets
3:movies
4:games
5:girls
6:guitars
7:piano
8:classical music
9:singing
10:screamo
11:emo
12:running
13:photography
14:coffee
15:pictures
::14 Favorite Foods::
1:pizza
2:lasagna
3:philly steak and cheese
4:tacos
5:corned beef and cabbage
6:bacon cheeseburgers
7:pancakes
8:waffles
9:milkshakes
10:cereal
11:steak
12:shrimp
13:baked potato
14:apple pie
::13 Most Watched Shows::
1:MXC
2:mail call
3:history's mysterys
4:modern marvels
5:VH1 countdown
6:drew carey show
7:whose line is it anyway?
8:CSPAN
9:Meet The Press
10:ESPN
11:N/A
12:N/A
13:N/A
::12 Good Bands in your Opinion::
1:Brand New
2:A Static Lullaby
3:Thursday
4:Fall Out Boy
5:Straylight Run
6:Anatomy Of A Ghost
7:Avenged Sevenfold
8:Atreyu
9:Poison The Well
10:Death Cab For Cutie
11:Further Seems Forever
12:From Autumn To Ashes
::11 Memories::
1:Shooting neighbor with paintball gun
2:jack coming back smelling like a drunk after communion
3:two dimes falling out of jack's pants...lmao
4:me and pat ice fishing and getting frostbite
5:me and pat beating halo in one night
6:meeting brand new
7:hanging with john nolan after the tbs concert
8:seeing death cab for cutie
9:running through the graveyard by nick's house at midnight and falling over a tombstone
10:me and ray getting lost on the way back from blockbuster
11:me and matt getting kicked out of the theater for me fighting
::10 Close Friends::
1:jack
2:keri
3:ralph
4:corey
5:lindsay
6:dave
7:katy
8:joel
9:matt
10:nick
::09 Things you're looking forward to::
1:license
2:summer
3:end of school
4:concerts in the summer
5:new laptop
6:new car
7:new chances for likes/loves
8:end of track season
9:fall
::08 Things you wear daily::
1:contacts
2:boxers
3:shoes
4:pants
5:socks
6:hoodie
7:shirt
8:another coat sometimes
::07 Things That Annoy You::
1:people
2:rap
3:neighbors
4:parents
5:brother
6:school
7:teachers
::06 Things You Touch Everyday::
1:guitars
2:piano keys
3:sheet music
4:computer
5:car keys
6:myself?
::05 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over::
1:say anything
2:high-fidelity
3:better off dead
4:its a wonderful life
5:the thin red line
::04 Of Your Favorite Childhood Toys::
1:any sort of weapon
2:pianos
3:cardboard boxes
4:sticks
::03 People You Have Kissed::
1:claire kosanke.....
2:n/a
3:n/a
::02 Of Your Favorite Songs::
1:brand new - jude law and a semester abroad
2:a static lullaby - a song for a broken heart
::01 Person You Could Spend the Rest of Your Life With::
1:n/a...don't have anyone and i'm pretty sure no one wants to spend the rest of their life with me

Countdown brought to you by BZOINK!


that took a long time

1 breath | first breath after coma


:: 2004 15 April :: 8.12 pm

What is your favorite..
gum:something
restaurant:too many
drink:coffee!!
season:fall
type of weather:mild and raining or a crisp fall day
emotion:the way i usually am?
thing to do on a half day:i don't get half days
late-night activity:drinking coffee, write music, play instruments
sport:paintball
city:i have a few
store:music stores
When was the last time you..
cried:2 weeks...
played a sport:today, football with the track team
laughed:today, watching MXC with nick
hugged someone:keri on tuesday
kissed someone:claire...2 months ago... :-(
felt depressed:few hours ago, reminiscing...
felt elated:not recently
felt overworked:today
faked sick:thursday....after running ten miles
lied:today, telling my mom everything is ok
What was the last..
word you said:goddammit
thing you ate:i'm eating a taco right now
song you listened to:billy joel - and so it goes
thing you drank:water
place you went to:starbucks
movie you saw:band of brothers...last night
movie you rented:duplex
concert you attended:death cab for cutie
Who was the last person you..
hugged:keri
cried over:claire...
kissed:claire...
danced with:myself? or claire
shared a secret with:nick
had a sleepover with:nick
called:katy called me, does that count?
went to a movie with:pat...we saw the passion of the christ way back
saw:nick
were angry with:my mom
couldn't take your eyes off of:no one
obsessed over:no one
Have you ever..
danced in the rain:yes
kissed someone:yes
done drugs:kinda
drank alcohol:yes
slept around:nope
partied 'til the sun came up:in a way
had a movie marathon:yeah, john cusack
gone too far on a dare:yea
spun until you were immensely dizzy:lol, yea
taken a survey quite like this before:i think so

The Favorites, Have-You-Evers.. and Last Times! Oh, the variety! brought to you by BZOINK!




Would you rather be an African elephant or an Asian elephant? Why?:neither
Would you rather freeze to death or burn alive? Why?:freeze to death, i like the cold anyway
Name three movies you like:say anything, high-fidelity, better off dead
Name three books you like:catcher in the rye, the communist manifesto, one flew over the cuckoo's nest
Have you ever fallen in love with a fictional character? Which one(s)? Why?:nope
Republican, Democrat or other? Why?:kinda a mix between republican and independant
Attendance percentage at high school dances?:i get forced to go
What television shows do you watch regularly?:mxc, stuff on the history channel
Abortion is...:evil
The death penalty is...:fine for real sick/bad people
How do you take your coffee?:cream and sugar
How do you take your tea?:plain
Who's your favorite teacher/professor?:either coach julien or coach brosnan
How do you feel about your parents?:i don't like them
What sort of music do you listen to?:screamo, indie, hardcore, emo, some older stuff
List five or ten bands you listen to.:brand new, converge, taking back sunday, thursday, atreyu, fall out boy, a static lullaby, the police, the rocket summer
Do you use public transportation?:no
Ever told someone you love him/her?:yes
Morning person, night person or both?:both
Siblings?:1 brother, sean...age 13
What are your friends like?:fine
Amusement parks are?:ok
Cafeterias are?:blah
Dogs are?:cool
Any phobias, traumas or other weirdnesses?:spiders, clowns, hospitals, dying alone, losing someone i care about, shipwrecks. i've been blown up, shot at and stuff like that. i've stiched myself.

The Personality Resume brought to you by BZOINK!




Free movies for a year or free CDS for your life?:free cds for life
School or work?:work
Christmas or birthday?:christmas
Peanut Butter M&MS,Regular M&Ms, or Peanut M&MS?:peanut
Dozen Roses or 3 boxes of chochlate?:chocolate
Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts?:julia roberts
Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise?:tom cruise
Vanilla Pepsi or Vanilla coke?:vanilla coke
American Eagle or Abercromie and Fitch?:neither
Driving or flying?:either, because i can do both
Roller skating or ice skating?:ice skating
Apples or oranges?:apples
Paris, France or Florence, Italy?:paris
Punk'D or The Newlyweds?:no
Jay Leno or David Letterman?:leno
New York or LA?:new york
AOL messenger or MSN messenger?:both
Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt or J.LO/Ben Affleck?:brad and jen
Ralph Lauren or Tommy Hilfiger?:neither
leaf raking or snow shoveling?:leaf raking by far
black pen or blue pen?:black
WalMart or Target?:target
picnic under the stars or horse carriage in the park?:picnic under stars
chochlate chip cookies or peanut butter cookies?:chocolate chip cookies
Kobe Bryant or Shaq?:shaq
basketball, baseball, or football?:football
Hiliary Duff (Lizzie Mcguire) Or Lindsey Logan(Freaky Friday)?:lindsey logan
French fries,curly fries, or tator tots?:french fries
Ben Affleck or Matt Damon?:matt damon
Phoebe, Monica, or Rachel(off of FRIENDS)?:rachel

Chose between... brought to you by BZOINK!




i got really really bored.

first breath after coma


:: 2004 14 April :: 11.55 am

Resounding
If I could take one thing back I would write
The perfect song for you
You would have never left
And if the chords progress
The way I mapped them out
They will wipe your tears away
And all your doubts

Cause it's always been for you
Every mountain scaled for you

And every single day I'm falling down
I never want to say you're mine right now
A tear rolls down your cheek
And hits the ground
I'm falling down (Lets go)

You sit alone inside your room and rust
You give your trust to those who don't deserve your trust
You put yourself through hell
As you sweat pound for pound
But as the drama fades
Tell me what will resound

Its always been for you
I sing every song for you

And every single day I'm falling down
I never want to say you're mine right now
A tear rolls down your cheek
And hits the ground
I'm falling down....
I'm falling down

Could you stay forever and a day
Together come what may
If only I could say what I'm thinking baby

And every single day I'm falling down
I never want to say you're mine right now
A tear rolls down your cheek
And hits the ground
I'm falling down

And every single day I'm falling down
I never want to say you're mine right now
If only I could finally face the truth
I have always loved you
loved you...
Loved you

first breath after coma


:: 2004 14 April :: 9.53 am

Color Blind
Here comes the sadness that I miss so much
That lonely aching comes from every touch
I’ve grown accustomed to the grays and blacks
Because they’re always coming back
Sit down for supper, won’t you dine with me
Or can’t you handle seeing all I see
I’ve grown to colorblind to cease my bitching
And I’ve grown to love the pain
And I move too slow and I think too fast and the first rainbow I see will be the last.
Here comes a view I’ve seen a million times
Here comes a boring song with thoughtless rhymes
I know you’re sick of me so tell me here
Because you could have be the one
To make it all disappear.

first breath after coma


:: 2004 13 April :: 6.53 pm
:: Mood: ass muscles hurt
:: Music: belle and sebastian - take me away from here, i'm dying

ok, today i went to keri's house for a bit before track practice. good times, lol.

ran 5 miles today for track, i should have worn pants. had to bench press, 110 lbs, ten times. i didn't like that. then a bunch of things with 15 lbs weights. so i'm very tired and my ass muscles hurt, i'm like owww. so yeah, track again til friday. friday, haircut, eye appointment and who knows, maybe jack's house.

first breath after coma

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