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How Strange, Innocence

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:: 2004 13 April :: 11.29 am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: fall out boy - the patron saint of liars and fakes

17 miles and 2 nights spend on the floor.

that should be a song. yes, i have ran 17 miles in the past few days and i have slept in the spare bedroom on the floor the past few nights. there are a few reasons why.

1. isolation
2. no one bothers me or comes to wake me up
3. its a bland, bare room so i write better
4. i can strech out



yea, track again today, i'm getting tired just thinking about it. wonder if i can do anything with anyone this week.


let's play this game called "when you catch fire"
i wouldn't piss to put you out

first breath after coma


:: 2004 11 April :: 9.20 pm

The Generic Teenager Stereotype
Do you drink [alcohol]?:not anymore
Do you party a lot? How often?:nope
Do you use drugs for recreational purposes?:no
How often do you use the word like in an average hour?:3 time
Do you skip classes? How often?:no
Do you have casual sex? Protected?:nope, none at all
Do you steal?:no
Do you wear inappropriate clothing?:what do you mean?
Do you drool over celebrities?:no
Do you watch a lot of TV?:no
Do you ever watch the News?:sometimes
Do you even care about world issues?:sometimes
Do you read books often?:yea
Are you failing a lot of your classes?:none this time
Do you spend most of your time with your friends?:no
Do you smoke cigarettes?:no
Do you hang out a lot in malls, or at Seven Elevens?:no
Do you often find yourself with a crush on someone?:no
Do you cuss a lot?:yep
Are you desperate to fit in?:i don't, so why even try
Are you intelligent?:fuck no
The Goth Stereotype
Black lipstick?:no
Black eyeliner?:no
Black eyeshadow?:no
Black trenchcoat?:no
Black boots?:no
Black fishnets?:no
Black nail polish?:yes
Cigarettes?:no
Heavy metal music?:no
Marilyn Manson?:no
Kittie?:no
Cradle of Filth?:no
Constant frown and perpetual angst?:kinda
Do you like to be seen as:no
Are you an intellectual?:yes
An atheist?:no
Horrible home life?:yep
Hopelessly depressed?:yep
Suffering with suicidal idealations?:yep
Self-mutilation?:yep
The Punk Stereotype
Plaid?:no
Big black boots?:no
Mohawk?:no
Excessive piercings? [Especially facial]:no
Loud, confident and opinionated?:no
Wild hair colors?:no
NOFX?:no
Rancid?:no
Well versed on political scandals and outrages?:no
A:no
The Jock Sterotype
What's your IQ?:higher than yours
Do you watch a lot of sports?:no
Play a lot of sports?:no
Talk a lot about sports?:no
Do you do anything, really, but think about sports?:no
Are you arrogant?:no
Are you a male or female whore?:no
Are you homophobic?:no
Do you tease other people a lot because you want to seem confident?:no
But really you're a quivering mass of insecurity?:?
Boobs = yes?:i don't care
Parties = yes?:no
Dropping out of high school and flipping burgers = yes?:no
The Girl Stereotype
Do you spend a lot of time on your appearence?:no
Have you ever been on a diet?:no
How much did you lose?:no
Was it not so much a diet as it was an eating disorder?:no
Make yourself throw up?:no
Make-up?:no
Low-cut tops?:no
How big are your boobies? [Cup size]:no
Do you flip your hair when you talk, even if you don't realize it?:no
Giggle a lot?:no
What's the deal with boys?:no
Thongs?:no
Pretty bras?:no
YM, Teen, Cosmo, et al?:no
Who's the weaker sex?:no
Are you a feminist?:no
Do you think Brad Pitt is hot?:no
How often do you shave your legs?:no
How about your armpits?:no
Are you emotional?:sure
Especially when on your period?:no
This Or That [Oh, that old coconut.]
Originality or Acceptance?:originality
Independence or Companionship?:both equally
Stability or Freedom?:both
Personal or Interpersonal?:both
Introvert or Extrovert?:intovert
Popularity or Isolation?:isolation
Unique or Loved?:loved
Understood or Individual?:understood by being an individual
You or Them?:i don't care

How Stereotypical You Are... brought to you by BZOINK!


first breath after coma


:: 2004 11 April :: 12.01 pm

Atreyu vs. Zao:atreyu
Daughters vs. Charles Bronson:charles bronson
Sparta vs. Billy Talent:sparta
Every Time I Die vs. Give Up The Ghost:everytime i die
The Mars Volta vs. I Hate Myself:the mars volta
Alexisonfire vs. Underoath:alexisonfire
The Blood Brothers vs. Cirlce Takes The Square:circle takes the square
The Bled vs. pg. 99:the bled
Saetia vs. Holy Molar:saetia
Q and not U vs. These Arms Are Snakes:Q and not U
The Postal Service vs. The Faint:the postal service
Arab on Radar vs. Melt Banana:arab on radar
36 Crazy Fists vs. Glassjaw:glassjaw
Modest Mouse vs. Armor For Sleep:modest mouse
Brand New vs. Saves The Day:brand new

BAND vs. BAND; take your pick. brought to you by BZOINK!




Last Cigarette::3 weeks
Last Alcoholic Drink::3 weeks
Last Car Ride::this morning
Last Kiss::2 months.........
Last Good Cry::good? fuck you
Last Library Book checked out::some book on photography
Last Movie Seen in Theatres::the passion of the christ
Last Book Read::the communist manifesto
Last Movie Rented::full metal jacket
Last Cuss Word Uttered::fuck you all
Last Beverage Drank::water
Last Food Consumed::pizza
Last Crush::no
Last Phone Call::matt yesterday
Last TV Show Watched::don't remember
Last Time Showered::last night
Last Shoes Worn::like type? my hurleys
Last CD Played::fall out boy - take this to your grave
Last Item Bought::new film
Last Download::belle and sebastian - get me away from here, i'm dying
Last Annoyance::my brother
Last Disappointment::life
Last Soda Drank::coke
Last Thing Written::So I can still mouth the words I love (to hate) you...
Last Key Used::house key
Last Word Spoken::why the fuck?!?!? ok thats a phrase, so just "fuck"
Last Sleep::today, i woke up at 7
Last IM::jen
Last Sexual Fantasy::n/a
Last Weird Encounter::seeing the fucking easter bunny across the street
Last Ice Cream Eaten::don't remember
Last Time Amused::shooting neighbor with paintball gun the other day
Last Time Wanting To Die::don't ask you sonofabitch
Last Time In Love::goddamnit
Last Time Hugged::no
Last Time Scolded::about...3 minutes ago
Last Time Resentful::life
Last Chair Sat In::the one i'm sitting in now
Last Lipstick Used::n/a
Last Underwear Worn::same pair of boxers i have on now
Last Bra Worn::n/a
Last Shirt Worn::same one i have on now
Last Webpage Visited::www.punkrockvids.com

"Last" Survey brought to you by BZOINK!



What time do you get up?:around 6
How do you get to school?:car
If you knew you were dying tomorrow, who would you say your goodbyes to 1st:jack, ralph, corey, keri
Easiest class?:english
What month is your birthday?:november
How old were you when you got your first kiss?:16
How old were you when you started high school?:14
Are you hooked on the internet?:you could say that
Do you like going to school?:no
Are you a morning person?:i can be
When's the last time you had a b/f or g/f?:1 month ago
Do you play any instruments?:yes
If so, what?:guitar, piano, drums, bass, trumpet, flute, saxaphone, clarinet
What's your favorite season?:autumn
What's the name of your best friend?:see question #3
Rather be too hot or too cold?:too cold
Cats or dogs?:no preference
How many blankets do you sleep with?:2
What are your parents' names?:enrique and teri
Do you have a crush?:no
How long have you had a crush on this person?:can't be a time if i don't have one
Do you practice a religion?:catholic and buddhist
If you saw Brittney Spears somewhere, what would you do?:nothing
If you saw Pres. Bush somewhere, what would you do?:say hi?
Do you have a secret you've never told anyone?:too many
Do you have a secret you've only told one or two people?:yes
Who do you trust to keep your most important secrets?:depends
Do you tell your parents everything?:fuck no
Do you think your parents are nice people at heart?:nope
Do you have a relative that you really do not get along with?:try naming one i get along with

[here] brought to you by BZOINK!

2 breaths | first breath after coma


:: 2004 9 April :: 12.25 pm

Funeral For A Friend
Emo! You're very in touch with your emotions and
that's what I like about you! It's all about
the music for you... I have pity for your
tortured soul...you're just like me...


What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


first breath after coma


:: 2004 8 April :: 9.01 am
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: fall out boy - chicago is so two years ago

track practise this morning, i leave in 20 minutes. woo. no, i'm way too tired to run today. so i'm on break now, should be nice and relazxing, hang out with some people, sleep, write music/play music/scream, do something with jack for his birthday, teach keri photoshop, hopefully get my license, take some pictures, play some bass with joel. 10 minutes til i have to go, shit. i will have my cell, so call it, if i don't answer leave a message on the voicemail or something or text me. later

first breath after coma


:: 2004 5 April :: 6.09 pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: alkaline trio - stupid kid

perfectly failing, sleep is over rated......
So are we playing for keeps?
The days begin and they don't end for weeks.
Leave me left out of anyting to do with you.
Excuse me while I fall apart.
Don't flatter yourself sweetheart.
Let me take the wheel and I'll crash this car.
Do you have to make this so hard?




So close your eyes and sleep to dream.
I'm by your side.
No words to speak.
We'll set our course and make it through.
No matter how far I go
No matter how much this hurts
I wanted you to know,
My heart remains with you.

first breath after coma

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