::
2004 2 February :: 6.50 pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Thursday - Standing On The Edge Of Summer
Closing All My Windows
When the crowd parted for the paramedics, we already knew that it wasn't necessary. The street was painted a purple-red with the boy's blood. On impact, his body had folded on itself; he looked like he was praying to the mailbox. The air was turning the blood on the sidewalk rust brown, but in his hair it stayed a dark red. It seemed to get redder with every flash of the newspaper man's camera.
I bit down on my lip and the afternoon flooded onto my blood like an IV drip: the crowd's blank faces; the reporters searching for the parents; the steam drifting from the young boy's broken mouth; the pair of sneakers tangled in power lines hanging like a forgotten mistletoe.
The blood was soaking into my untied shoelace as we watched the ambulance pull up. I was right there: The calm voices of the paramedics made the temperature drop twenty degrees. I was right there: They zipped up the black bag and I couldn't breathe.
I tried to listen, but I couldn't resist the pull of the breathing open window. I saw myself running to it and lunging straight through it. I felt like I was suffocating in a zipped-up black bag.
I had to lock myself in the bathroom to stop myself from jumping out of the window. In the mirror, my hair was tinged red. I tried closing my eyes but when I looked in the mirror my hair was saturated, a thick crimson. The New Year cheers sounded like screams though the door and I swore that I'd never let myself care about anything else ever again. The next morning the paper said that a boy had fallen out of an unlocked window in his parent's apartment in New York. I dyed my hair the darkest black I could find. A black so dark it could cover the deepest red and suffocate the brightest halo.
1 breath |
first breath after coma |
::
2004 31 January :: 12.57 am
:: Mood: indescribable
:: Music: further seems forever - new year's project
yea, i can't describe how great i feel right now. i got to spend most of my friday night with claire, thank you god for such a wonderful night. shit, mom's yelling at me to go to sleep, i'll post more later
2 breaths |
first breath after coma |
::
2004 27 January :: 8.33 am
Rain: You are the sound of rain. You have two
important sides. There is your strong, powerful
side and your calm, gentle side. Both are very
important. Rain also reflects a bit of darkness
in your personality. It isn't bad, just shows
that along with the good, you also can see bad,
which can come in handy. (please rate my quiz)
What Sound Are You?(now w/ pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Ghost or spirit: You are a lost soul. Very calm and
sweet, you are often the one who asks: What if?
With a clever mind, you want to explore the
world on a different level. Without the
answers, you aren't ready to move on. You are
most likely very creative and find yourself
thinking things through on a different level.
(please rate my quiz)
**Where will you go when you die?**(now with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed
What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
first breath after coma |
::
2004 27 January :: 7.49 am
Good. You know your music. You should be able to
work at Championship Vinyl with Rob, Dick and
Barry
Do You Know Your Music (Sorry MTV Generation I Doubt You Can Handle This One)
brought to you by Quizilla
i love that movie.
Times New Roman is your bag. You are proper, have
good grammar and may occasionally use
Italics...
Your font is..
brought to you by Quizilla
You, my friend are a true individual. You most
likely hate trends and are creative. By seeing
things differently, people either admire you or
think you are a bit strange. I'm guessing you
are a lot like me. Perhaps a Good Charlotte
hater? I hope so. An inspiration to us all,
continue being you! (If you like GC, I'm sorry,
I am just expressing an opinion)
A Deeper Look Inside Yourself (with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
first breath after coma |
::
2004 25 January :: 1.33 pm
You don't say much of anything
When questioned of your whereabouts
And I just can't see through the evidence
It's evident
It's right in front of me in black and white and red
And I don't believe in much of anything
I'm glad I have people I call friends
If it was up to me I'd never have to miss you
It's for the better in the bitter end
I guess you'd know the best
You have every right to be
This appalled with me
Join the club
I signed up a long time ago and I know how you feel
And when you decked me
You left me knocked out on the floor
I came to bloodied up, but you weren't around
I picked my teeth off the ground like they'd been there before
first breath after coma |
::
2004 22 January :: 9.43 pm
do you hear the jet plane
yawning miles across the sky?
hear the garbage truck
back down the boulevard,
setting off the car alarms as it passes by?
do you hear the static
of one thousand detuned radios?
shut the window, love.
keep the world outside.
I don't want to think about anyone
but the footsteps are getting louder,
drowning out the sound of the rain,
as it knocks on the windowsill.
I'm not answering the phone -- let it ring.
lately I've been feeling like
a falling bomb.
the ground is getting closer
and the sky
is falling
down.
this song has been brought to you
this song has been brought to you
by a falling bomb.
by a falling bomb.
first breath after coma |
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