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How Strange, Innocence

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:: 2005 19 November :: 10.32 am
:: Mood: cold

"Alright," I respond, "You have a good evening."

first breath after coma


:: 2005 7 November :: 12.11 pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: rat pack - you've got to have style

most of the leaves are off the trees now. yesterday's wind looks do have done it. everything looks barren, yet full of life with all the green still around.

first breath after coma


:: 2005 3 November :: 5.33 pm

All Choked Up
Thank God I don't think out loud
Too many thoughts in my head
Right now
Mostly concerning the moonlight
As it dances across your neck. I'm out of practice
And you smell like roses. I'm the mortal soldier
Your queen of hearts
All that I want is to show you how you you're nothing like all of them tell you.
To be more than just a cricket on your shoulder
A little closer.

Feelings choke me
Don't let me leave without a word
Never give in
I've been letting my mind win the war with my heart. You are timeless
I am a fool in love with time

I've always believed in you
Want to be more than that tonight
And live for the moment
But that takes too much pride. You will stay what I never have

I'd shape up and put on weight
Cross out my calendar marked to the date where we'd meet on some mystic veranda
To dance I'd show you skills. I'm not forgotten. I'd spoil you rotten.
So Don't be afraid
For better or worse
Let's dive head first
And first we can think about this later when were not so jaded. So jaded.
I can't go on the way I've gone forever. A new endeavor is oh so needed and

Feelings scare you
You never look me in the eye
Don't ever change I just want you to know the complacencies always been staged
I was blinded until you opened up my eyes
I've always believed in you

Want to be more than that tonight
And live for the moment
But that takes too much pride
You will say what I.. Never had if I tried
Damned if I don't. What if I died without being with you
I can try all I want
The feelings would taunt saying ‘loser we see through you.’ And forgive me love
These thoughts are not my own
They were put in my mind by aliens
To keep me home alone. And forgive me love
For wanting you. Blame it on those eyebrows arching over baby blues
Oh you. Oh you.....

And live for the moment but that takes too much pride.
You will say what I never have.
Oh can you see me now?
Do you hear me now?
Do you see Me now?
Could you save me now?
Do you hear me now?
Could you see me now?
Could you save me now?
I'm choking... I'm choking...

first breath after coma


:: 2005 29 October :: 11.23 pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: the great lakes - ghost of manitoba

i'm so tired right now that its not even funny, but i want to stay awake to watch something on the history channel. went over joel's house today, did part of our photo assingment, we were too lazy to shoot the infrared, so we didn't. jack came over joel's and we played pool for a bit. i left and got chased by like two assholes in two seperate cars while i was checking out a new sub going up, so i shut off my lights and drove out quick, but one followed me, so i was flying down 22 and lost him in my sub. it was not that cool. cross-country is almost over, tuesday is my last cross-country meet, forever. thank God.

first breath after coma


:: 2005 24 October :: 8.52 pm

"And Shepherds we shall be
For thee, my Lord, for thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand
Our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti."

1 breath | first breath after coma


:: 2005 3 October :: 12.25 am
:: Mood: working
:: Music: frank sinatra - summer wind

so homecoming was a lot of fun. hard to believe its the last one already, but oh well. i've been doing more thinking and it is still being debated whether it is a good thing or a bad thing. i'm renewing my vow to myself of abstaining from alcoholic drink, drugs, and smoking, as well as chastity and celibacy. i like it better this way, makes high school easier for me at least. i actually enjoy being single, not because i'm a "player", but because i'm not attached to anyone or anything, and its how i like things to be. i work best off of loneliness. but i'm not really lonely, so its good. i'm happy. more than i've been ever, because i'm not trying to win over someone's affections, or keep them, or things like that. i have some of the best friends anyone could ask for. most of them have girlfriends, but everything is well. so i am planning on being single for the rest of high school. no more girlfriends at least untill college. we'll see how this turns out.

1 breath | first breath after coma

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